what would you do?

Lily, I'm not sure what new advice anyone here can give you. Last time round, the general gist of what people advised you to do was to (1) Sort your marriage (2) Stay away from this guy and (3) Get yourself counselling for obvious self-esteem issues.

2 months down the the line and I'm not sure what exactly has changed. You're still writing prose that's akin to an overwrought Mills & Boon boddice-ripper. You've chosen not to do anything about the bad marriage you're in. You've also chosen to keep this other guy in the loop despite what you were advised. I'm not sure what it is you're looking for? You are an adult who is responsible for her own actions..

The three of you seem really messed and not very nice people.

Your husband is awful. He has no concept of how his actions hurt or affect others. He does what he wishes selfishly I don't understand what on earth you can see in him.

This other man consistently told you that he did not wish to get involved with a married women. Yet you effectively stalked him. And you go into bizarrely vivid details of a sexual encounter. It seems sordid and you reflect this with your feelings of guilt.

Why are you doing this to yourself?

Your marriage it seems to me is over. I would not tell you what to do but the husband is living like a single man and seem set to do so.

I really can't advise you to stay with your husband. But you must realize that this had nothing to do with this other man.

I understand why you have constructed this fantasy. You have married a man that had you known the truth about before you would never have gotten involved with. I know his type. They are all fake charm and soapy smiles. Then when your image is shattered this man who appears to be the complete opposite ie the quiet kind guy comes along you feel for him as if he was the one you were looking for all along.

But the truth is you have to sort out your life. When we say sort out your marriage we don't mean necessarily stay with him but leave him.

You should never have gotten involved with your husband. But obviously your judgement is not great. Affairs NEVER work. Being unfaithful destroys people. So don't go there.

From what you say the other quiet guy isn't even into you at all. Which worries me more. Perhaps he is not as nice as you think?

If a guy wants to be with you he would say. I don't think he does. I think you are basing a lot on fantasy.

End the marriage it's a mess. Stay away from this guy you are obviously unhealthily stuck or obsessed and he is not into you. There is a mental condition where people think someone likes or even loves them when they don't at all. And you are vulnerable.

You're still writing prose that's akin to an overwrought Mills & Boon boddice-ripper.

This ..when I read the account of the sexual encounter that you wrote I was actually disturbed by the way you wrote it. It just seemed like such a weirdly TMI account. It just seemed icky or something. And you seem over the moon and I don't get why. I can't connect the emotions you are feeling to any real life fact. I can't see why you feel the way you do. Nor why you would think this man or your husband love you. Neither of these men really love you. And you don't really love either of them. If the husband loved you he would not cheat , if you loved him then you would not cheat. If this guy loved you he would behave differently and be straight about his feelings. And if you loved him you would leave your husband. None of you are feeling anything remotely close to love. I can't really see how we can advice. I can't see how you could be comfortable in your situation. I could never be unfaithful but then I would never have married a man like your husband either.

I think you need to tune your feelings into reality.