22 year old guy having sex with 16 year old girl

Dudess · 16-09-2007 11:53pm

I'd disagree with a 19-year-old having sex with a 16-year-old. They 19-year-old can have sex with an 18-year-old or a 19-year-old. Why would they feel the need to shag a child?

Pepe LeFrits · 17-09-2007 12:32am

Dudess wrote:

I'd disagree with a 19-year-old having sex with a 16-year-old. They 19-year-old can have sex with an 18-year-old or a 19-year-old. Why would they feel the need to shag a child?

What about a 17 year old?

I watched This is England tonight and watching the half-pint 12 year old boy kissing a 16 year old girl was so very, very weird.

Dudess · 17-09-2007 12:39am

I personally think under 18 is too young to be having sex. As I said, sex is an adult activity, only adults should be engaging in it.

North&South · 17-09-2007 9:23am

This is my 2nd day as a registered user, so I guess this post will be making me extremely unpopular already!

Anyhow, my youngest girl is 17 now, 18 in Feb. We live in the UK, & the legal age of consent is 16. That said, as in most places around the world, the kids usually don't wait for age of consent to start with their experimentation, and neither did my eldest or my youngest daughters. (I have 3 girls)

Anyhow, last year, my youngest had a bit of a crush on the guy next door - he has a couple of failed relationships behind him, but he was looking for a 'no-strings' type of relationship - he's definitely not in the marriage line!

Well, daughter was getting rather fed up with the young lads round here in general - they seem to think it's cool to get drunk most weekends & when they do get a girl, it's the lads wanting to move in together, have kids etc etc! Madam was really fed up with the immaturity, jealousy & 'fakeness' of the lads.

SO, she started seeing the guy next door - he was 30.
All of this happened with our full knowledge - maybe not our total blessings, but I have never been one to lecture the kids, it just makes for mini rebels (talking from experience from MY teen years!)

Yes, some people we know disagree, but then others see nothing wrong with it. He is an immature 31 yr old now, where she is a very mature 17 yr old - I also am very lucky to have extremely open relationships with all my girls & NO subject is taboo in our house.
Why would I let her do this? Well, it's a whole lot easier to give her advice & support & to be there for her when she knows that I am 'on her side', and to alienate her, or try to force her to do something MY way could quite possibly drive her off in the opposite direction.
I made sure she is protected from pregnancy, and when we discuss the future, her main comment is 'I like him, Mum, but I don't LOVE him, we'll part when it's time'.

I'd rather share her life and experiences than have her move out & lose her as so many of her friends & their parents have done. And I would rather show her what unconditional love from a parent means too. Is he a paedo in my eyes? No, she's legally old enough..... but he doesn't deserve her, she's a knock out!
That said, she is happy enough at the moment & that's all that matters. They both understand that this relationship is not for life - she says she won't be looking for a life partner until she's in her twenties with lots of experiences under her belt & I am rather proud of her maturity & responsibility.

It's best not to judge merely on the figures, but to assess when the situation arises.
Anyhow, that's my opinion on this topic.

Terry · 17-09-2007 9:54am

That won't make you unpopular here at all.
Fúck, if you're a trekkie, then you're alright with me.

Now, about this daughter of yours...

North&South · 17-09-2007 10:18am

Terry wrote:

That won't make you unpopular here at all.
Fúck, if you're a trekkie, then you're alright with me.

Now, about this daughter of yours...

Now then, TNG has to be the best, quickly followed by DS9... I was born in the same place as Deanna Troy.... (well, Marina Sirtis anyway!) hence the avatar chosen

Anyhow.... the daughter is taken... but I have a rather nice 24yr old going spare.... 1 previous part time 'owner' 2 years ago.... she's moving with us out to Cork or maybe Galway in about 4 weeks, I'll put in a good word for yas!

Oh, my chance to go buy a hat finally beckons! Yay!!

Dudess · 17-09-2007 10:58am

North&South wrote:

the legal age of consent is 16.

That does not make it ok - a 16-year-old is a child.

That said, as in most places around the world, the kids usually don't wait for age of consent to start with their experimentation, and neither did my eldest or my youngest daughters. (I have 3 girls)

That's a misconception and it causes teenagers to feel pressurised - "everyone's doing it so I'd better do it". It's the reason why I lost my virginity at 18 - I felt I had to catch up with my friends. I didn't actually want to do it, and if I had the time all over again, I would have left it another few years. Were you really ok with your underage daughters having sex/performing fellatio etc?

Well, daughter was getting rather fed up with the young lads round here in general - they seem to think it's cool to get drunk most weekends

A lot of kids have under-age sex because it's "cool" too.

when they do get a girl, it's the lads wanting to move in together, have kids etc etc!

Hardly.

As for a 31-year-old going out with a 17-year-old child - he obviously has issues. And probably has a great time boasting to his mates that he's "scored" a young one.

Terry · 17-09-2007 11:15am

Dudess wrote:

As for a 31-year-old going out with a 17-year-old child - he obviously has issues. And probably has a great time boasting to his mates that he's "scored" a young one.

My 32 year old friend impregnated a (then) 16 year old.
Me and the rest of his friends were less than impressed with the fact he was with her in the first place.
He told me last night that she want's a second child. The first one is only about 6 weeks old.
I felt like kicking him right in the nuts to prevent him from doing it.

North&South · 17-09-2007 11:48am

Dudess wrote:

That does not make it ok - a 16-year-old is a child.
That's a misconception and it causes teenagers to feel pressurised - "everyone's doing it so I'd better do it". It's the reason why I lost my virginity at 18 - I felt I had to catch up with my friends. I didn't actually want to do it, and if I had the time all over again, I would have left it another few years. Were you really ok with your underage daughters having sex/performing fellatio etc?
A lot of kids have under-age sex because it's "cool" too.
Hardly.
As for a 31-year-old going out with a 17-year-old child - he obviously has issues. And probably has a great time boasting to his mates that he's "scored" a young one.

Dudess, I really have to agree to disagree with you on a few points here - a 16 yr old is NOT necessarily a child - yes, some are - some aren't. You can marry at 16, have a child at 16, start working at 16. As in most things in life, each situation should be judged on its own merits.
My 3 girls are all different, but my middle girl didn't start having sex until she was 19 - her choice. All 3 had information and support through their teen years and were given the freedom, confidence and guidance to make their own decisions.
Yes, I was fine about my girls having under-age sex - mainly because I experienced a VERY controlling mother myself, and I never want my kids to hate me the way I despised my own mother. (Wouldn't have been so bad had I not known what she did as a young woman!) In the end, if she said 'walk left'... I'd RUN right, as quick and as far as possible, just to spite her. Very sad. The other point being that I would far rather know what they are up to & help them to make choices, than to share my life & home with 3 people I hardly know, who sneak behind my back.
As for our experiences of lads, well yes actually, we've had some right clingy types, one lad approached hubby about getting engaged - on the 2nd date, would you believe! Needless to say, daughter dumped him double quick!
And no, the boyfriend next door isn't a 'lad's lad' and we've never heard about him 'boasting'. He's a rather quiet type with a few close friends, and over the last 3 years that we've known him, we've found he has a decent work ethic, and he's clean & tidy - a community type of person, without being too invasive, if you know what I mean. OK, it might not be the type of relationship I would have chosen for her, but I see a lot lot worse on a daily basis in this area, and I'm very grateful that all 3 have grown up with self respect and independent minds.
Julie.

kev_s88 · 17-09-2007 11:52am

personally i see no problem with it! (apart from the obvious legal issues)

i mean i'd prefer if it didnt happen but its not that bad.

North&South · 17-09-2007 11:58am

Terry wrote:

......
Me and the rest of his friends were less than impressed with the fact he was with her in the first place......

Yep, that's been our view of everything too - from both sides of the fence!

But eighteen months further on and they are still best of friends, and life goes on......

Jumpy · 17-09-2007 11:59am

Dudess wrote:

That does not make it ok - a 16-year-old is a child.

Please quit it with that line. It makes you sound fanatical.
At 16, I was in a place of my own, I was working in an IT company and owned my own car. I personally made the decision to leave school and follow the path I knew my life was taking. I was more than mature enough at that time to have sex. Ok I was too much of a nerd to get the girls in the first place. But it isnt the point.

MrJoeSoap · 17-09-2007 12:30pm

Dudess wrote:

That does not make it ok - a 16-year-old is a child

You saying its not ok doesn't make that so either. You have to take each case on its own merits.

Setun · 17-09-2007 12:47pm

Did anyone else actually go to the bother of reading their blog? I want my five minutes back, might send them an angry email.

Dudess · 17-09-2007 1:34pm

Jumpy wrote:

Please quit it with that line. It makes you sound fanatical.

Sorry. I just think that there's an element of normalising underage sex in our culture. And a notion that teenage kids WANT to be engaging in sexual activity. A lot of them don't want to, but feel pressurised to do so. Imagine how unpleasant sexual experiences are for them.

layke · 17-09-2007 1:40pm

Dudess wrote:

And a notion that teenage kids WANT to be engaging in sexual activity.

I did. Didn't happen for me till I was 18 tho, but my GF at the time was 16 and she'd done it before and initiated it.

Dudess · 17-09-2007 1:46pm

Some don't though. And I bet some THINK they want to, but don't actually.

17-09-2007 1:48pm

Well, I did. I didn't regret it and my whole life didn't end.
Peer pressure is a bad thing in general, but it's not the same issue as 16 year olds having sex

um7y1h83ge06nx · 17-09-2007 4:38pm

Well, if she is a consenting adult wherever this did happen I don't really see a problem.

It may be considered immoral but the main rule of thumb is that once she's legal and hot it's okay!

Seriously though, If I was in the UK for instance where she would be a consenting adult and she was REALLY hot, I would. Probably wouldn't tell my friends though.

Dudess · 17-09-2007 4:47pm

Jeffery Salty Tweet wrote:

Well, if she is a consenting adult

She isn't an adult, she's a little girl. Grrr, this attitude makes me sick. A few short years ago she was playing with dolls.

doonothing · 17-09-2007 5:17pm

christ, i was 16 when i lost my virginity, she wasnt 22, but still.
ive known some ridiculously mature 16 year olds and some ridiculously immature 22 year olds. im not saying i know these people and can judge fairly if there's a misbalance of power in the relationship, but i certainly am not about to judge this as "wrong" without such information.

um7y1h83ge06nx · 17-09-2007 5:18pm

Dudess wrote:

She isn't an adult, she's a little girl. Grrr, this attitude makes me sick. A few short years ago she was playing with dolls.

Well, what I mean is a consenting adult from a legal perspective, so 17 or older in Ireland or 16 or older in the UK makes a person a consenting adult.

I don't know where this occurred, maybe UK? Certainly if it happened in Ireland he could be done for statutory rape and should really not have an on-line blog boasting of his exploits.

Dudess · 17-09-2007 5:23pm

I'm just concerned there's a danger that people will lose their virginity at 16 just because it's the done thing and not because they actually want to. I know I wasn't ready at 16 and didn't want to - I waited til I was 18 and even that was too early. Was I unusual?
But I suppose that's not the issue here. What is the issue is a grown man having sex with a young girl. I agree, it depends on the situation. Some girls are very mature for their age - no doubt about that. But I still can't help having a problem with an older guy sleeping with them - whether they are really mature for their age or not.

SimpleSam06 · 17-09-2007 7:26pm

Dudess wrote:

Sorry. I just think that there's an element of normalising underage sex in our culture.

Underage sex was normal for 99.9% of human history.

pretty-in-pink · 17-09-2007 7:38pm

In Ireland, the age of consent is 17, it is only ever 16 when its within your peer group. Sex is not something to be taken lighty, and I really don't think people are prepared for the emotional weight attached to it. Esp the first time, sure look at how it can mess people up

North&South · 17-09-2007 7:43pm

Dudess wrote:

She isn't an adult, she's a little girl. Grrr, this attitude makes me sick. A few short years ago she was playing with dolls.

Of course, you're entitled to your opinion. But I still have to disagree.
My 17yr old has a wide social circle - her friends are all ages, ranging from 18 to 38... yes, 38.
She has the ability to converse with them on their level and has an abundance of common sense - she 'hung up' her dollies at the tender age of 7 or 8, moving onto sports, dancing, horse riding, computers etc.

If anyone should even DARE suggest that she find a lad 'her own age' she'd be mightily pissed off & downright insulted!

Dudess, I appreciate that this isn't YOUR way, but it is OUR way & here in the UK she IS an adult - legally.
Live & let live & each to their own, huh? As said before, each situation should be judged within its own merits.
Julie

highlydebased · 17-09-2007 7:49pm

It is clear to me they seem to know what they are doing.

I am a teenager myself. Sex is what we think about quite alot. And in this society (where u see 13 and 14 year olds at it) 16 is certainly not a a bad age for having sex.

Wompa1 · 17-09-2007 8:18pm

I'm 22 and I'd tap that!! ha ha nah just kiddin....was talking to two 17 year old girls on Friday night for almost an hour and couldn't really take myself to making any moves on them...think I'd be in the 18 or up bracket...see too many lads my age with the 15 or 16 year old B-yores in the passenger seat of the car lookin all sulky and whorish...Where are the parents!?, Won't anybody please think of the children!?

Dudess · 17-09-2007 11:52pm

Neon-Circles wrote:

I am a teenager myself. Sex is what we think about quite alot.

Cos you actually have sexual desires or because it's "the done thing"?

And in this society (where u see 13 and 14 year olds at it) 16 is certainly not a a bad age for having sex.

16 is only a tiny bit older than 13 or 14 - I wouldn't say it certainly is not a bad age for having sex. Wait til you're older and you have some perspective. 16 is obscenely young.

doonothing · 17-09-2007 11:58pm

Dudess wrote:

Cos you actually have sexual desires or because it's "the done thing"?

16 is only a tiny bit older than 13 or 14 - I wouldn't say it certainly is not a bad age for having sex. Wait til you're older and you have some perspective. 16 is obscenely young.

the teenage years are the absolute peak of sexual desires, its "the done thing" for every age bracket.

16 is a tiny bit older in terms of age, but i think a person matures fastest in the years between 13 and 16, and while i know some do not mature as well as others but 16 is hardly an obscene age to begin having sex.

it is obscene, however, to assume no one at 16 is emotionally ready for sex.

Dudess · 18-09-2007 12:14am

In my opinion it's not obscene at all. But that's my opinion - you have yours. I suppose all we can do is just leave it at that.

johnnyskeleton · 18-09-2007 12:22am

Dudess wrote:

And I bet some THINK they want to, but don't actually.

That'll be the hormones for you.

cournioni · 18-09-2007 12:27am

You're not right to be angry, because it happens regularly up and down the country after night clubs and the sort. And the fact that it is none of your business because both of them are above the age of consent. Just because your morals don't match theirs doesn't give you the right to be angry. Personally I think it is morally wrong, but hey, who am I to say that?

Plug · 18-09-2007 11:10am

Dave wrote:

Is she hot?

Thats a very valuable point there young man!

Dudess · 18-09-2007 1:35pm

Lately I've seen a 16-year-old girl giving a 27-year-old woman fellatio advice on another forum. That is f*cked up.

annie19 · 27-01-2008 3:28am

:)dont be worring
bring up ur child as best u can and enstill what u beleive r good values and ull have nothing 2 b worried about

thefinalstage · 27-01-2008 3:57am

Dudess wrote: »

Lately I've seen a 16-year-old girl giving a 27-year-old woman fellatio advice on another forum. That is f*cked up.

I wonder which forum that was...

FunkZ · 27-01-2008 4:48am

Ah I think 22 and 16 is a bit weird now...

Irish Wolf · 27-01-2008 4:51am

Arise zombie thread.

foxhound · 08-03-2008 11:17pm

the age of consent is 17 here but its 16 in uk
Ireland has one of the oldest age of consent in the west
In france its 15, in germany its 14/16 in greece its 15 and in Liechtenstein its 14
In some states of the US its also 16

http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm

justsomebloke · 08-03-2008 11:36pm

Irish Wolf wrote: »

Arise zombie thread.

apparently arise again:rolleyes:

Aisling(",) · 08-03-2008 11:43pm

im 16 and its normal enough for me or one of my friends to be meeting people around 21/22

having dont it myself a fair few times i think it depends on the people...if she wants to and he wants to then i'd see no problem

Tar.Aldarion · 09-03-2008 12:09am

Nothing wrong with it, people hit puberty at an age for a reason.

cson · 09-03-2008 12:57am

I've been in a few cities around Europe and one thing I always remark on is that there are always feck all young ones with prams as opposed to say walking down O'Connell St. Now I could just be avoiding those sort of area's or...

I mostly notice it in France tbh. They have a much more advanced society than ours in terms of attitudes to Alcohol and Sex. I'd almost live over there only for they've no proper Ham/Spuds/Rashers/Sausages/Guinness.

MrJoeSoap · 09-03-2008 1:06am

cson wrote: »

I've been in a few cities around Europe and one thing I always remark on is that there are always feck all young ones with prams as opposed to say walking down O'Connell St. Now I could just be avoiding those sort of area's or...

I mostly notice it in France tbh. They have a much more advanced society than ours in terms of attitudes to Alcohol and Sex. I'd almost live over there only for they've no proper Ham/Spuds/Rashers/Sausages/Guinness.

Irelands rate is actually fairly average for developed nations. Britain has the highest in Europe.

Continental (mainland) Europe is very low though.

http://student.bmj.com/issues/02/07/news/images/news223.jpg

Overheal · 09-03-2008 2:10am

let them have their dick and eat it too.

cson · 09-03-2008 2:13am

Overheal wrote: »

let them have their dick and eat it too.

Fantastic contribution right there.

Overheal · 09-03-2008 2:35am

Thanks. How old is your sister?

Bottle_of_Smoke · 09-03-2008 1:44pm

Anto McC wrote: »

If the 16 year old had been a bloke and the 22 year old had been a women, no one would have had a problem with it.

Ah the PC bullsh*t. Males & females are different as is the sexual psychology.

I don't think a 22 year old should be doing that. I'm the same age myself & going out with an 18 year old so perhaps I'm being hypocritical

To the OP, not worth your time worrying, older guys wil lbe happy to oblige & nothing you can do will stop that. If anything they're more likely to use a condom

Kold · 09-03-2008 2:48pm

It's none of your business OP.

Here's the deal, 16 year old girls aspire to appear older than they are. They go out trying to attract older men and a lot of the time succeed. Everything is pointing in the right direction, they're starting to enter their sexual prime. Unfortunately this is coupled with the hormonal tornadoes causing them to be utter retards. They don't know what they want, they don't know who they are, blah, blah, blah. Often men are attracted to this, vulnerability can be a turn on. I wouldn't see it as 'preying', it's inadvertant a lot of the time.

There isn't too much difference, physiologically between a lot of 16 year old girls and 20 year old girls and often enough, 20 year old girls are just as stupid as 16 year olds. It's funny, I figure it's one of those survival traits, if teen girls weren't so attractive would we not just shoot them? The reason I wouldn't try to pull a younger girl is because in my opinion, no 16 year old is mature enough for my own standards and if they seem so, it's because they're a good actress. I don't really care if other guys do it, 6 years isn't a huge difference, especially taking differing maturity levels into account. I don't see why you would hold it against a guy either. We're not talking about rape here, we're talking about 2 consenting adults.

Everyone deals with pressure and we all have to make our own decisions at some point. Who cares who was mentally prepared to do what and when? That's life. I'm 22, I like having sex, if I was going out with a 22 year old girl who continually held out then f*ck it, I'd be off. We obviously aren't compatable. I wouldn't pressure her against her will. If she felt pressured then that's not really my fault.
I don't think Dudess' point is really valid, it's true that a lot of 16 year olds aren't ready but it's still their responsibility to do what's best for them. There are two people in the situation.

22 year old guy having sex with 16 year old girl

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