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Boyfriend's disrespect for me

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    #92
    WilmaRidesAgain
    Closed Accounts Posts: 125 ✭✭WilmaRidesAgain


    Its naughty of him, OP he owes you and explanation and an apology. Its one thing extracting the urine out of a stranger on a one night stand (not saying even thats right) but definitely not out of your long term GF.

    It was stupid of him.
    Having said all that its not even near a dumping offence, if I was you though I would get some value out of it.....he owes you a nice treat, a posh dinner or something you can boast to YOUR mates about!


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    #93
    Mr Benevolent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    This may be hypocritical but... why talk to a bunch of strangers about it? Talk to him. Getting pissed off about something someone doesn't know they've done wrong is not helpful to you, him or the relationship. I suggest getting off the internet forums and on with telling him how you feel.


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    #94
    girl2
    Registered Users Posts: 654 ✭✭✭girl2


    I think the OP is totally right here. I have just read through all the posts here and at first I was like the majority of people thought it was something else, a few things went through my head. But when I read what it actually was, I was pretty shocked. I think the boyfriend in this case is a more like a juvenile and a childish little prick. I would be thinking some young pubescent boys might think this kind of thing to be funny, not someone in their late 20s.

    Personally, I would be disgusted with him.....its the way he went about the thing.....I dont think it was funny at all.

    OP, you have every right to say what you think.........and certainly DO NOT hold your opinions on things you may feel strongly about because you are afriad of an argument......that makes me think there may be more to what may be going on in your relationship as well.


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    #95
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    I'm sorry but I nearly cried I laughed so much. Hilarious...... however

    It's funny, but it IS disrespectfull. I mean it's one thing on a one-night stand for a bet with the lads or something but with your missus? ich don't think so, I'd seriously red-card this one. why don't you just with-draw sexual services for a while to make him appreciate just what the hell he is abusing here.


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    #96
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    SetantaL wrote: »
    I mean it's one thing on a one-night stand for a bet with the lads or something
    Oh Christ, thank **** I don't know any lads like that.
    Anyhoo, it would be really, really low on a one-night stand to play a trick like that on an unsuspecting girl and laugh with your mates about it - really, really low. But ya gotta act like that's ok and the norm because ya gotta be DA MAAAAAAN...
    It's even worse than with your girlfriend really because at least she knows you.

    Actually it's pretty crap in either situation...


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    #97
    madser
    Closed Accounts Posts: 190 ✭✭madser


    Thank you for coming back and updating us, I think your right to be peeved and he shouldn't have laughed off your concerns.

    If he can't respect your opinion then get rid, I know you love him but nothings worth been treated like that and by like that I mean the way he laughed at you when you were upset


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    #98
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    madser wrote: »
    Thank you for coming back and updating us, I think your right to be peeved and he shouldn't have laughed off your concerns.

    If he can't respect your opinion then get rid, I know you love him but nothings worth been treated like that and by like that I mean the way he laughed at you when you were upset
    How can he respect an opinion he knows nothing about?


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    #99
    mayordenis
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 9,629 Mod ✭✭✭✭mayordenis


    I think tell him definately and leave it at that - i'm sorry but it's not a big deal in my opinion - also have a shower.


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    #100
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    The ejaculation is no big deal, the way he went about it though, was really immature.


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    #101
    Jumpy
    Registered Users Posts: 7,606 ✭✭✭Jumpy


    Did he do the squint and everything?
    I am almost crying here.
    Personally I think he did it to bring a bit of life into the bedroom. Personally if it was near the face I would consider it a disrespectful act (ie, the "spiderman"), but personally I think the guy is a harmless joker.
    The amount of people who take things too seriously in the bedroom is too high as it is. Part of growing up is learning to relax and have fun. If I were you OP I would be plotting something to outdo him. The A-Team suggestion earlier in the thread for example.
    Personally I would go with something Jessica Fletcher related.


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    #102
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Wicknight wrote: »
    Sounds like he wanted to ejaculate over you, but either knew you wouldn't go for it, or was worried you wouldn't go for it, so wanted to "surprise" you with this. Bit of a cheap thing to do without asking, particularly if he knew you wouldn't go for it if he asked. Some girls love it, but a lot of girls hate being jizzed upon and it is some what inappropriate to just do it without asking is it ok.

    I don't think he was making fun of you or anything. Guys just get off watching themselves ejaculate on girls. Some people read a low lot of stuff into that such as a reversal of power, and humiliating the girl etc etc but as I a guy I think that is largely nonsense.

    But of course, as I said in the previous email, if you don't want him to do it, if you don't like it, tell him to not do it again.

    And you perfectly within reason to tell him that if he is going to do any more surprises he is to check with you first.
    It wasn't just the ejaculating on me that upset me - it was shouting rubbish at me at that moment. I cant imagine you would like it if your partner screamed "just one thing" or anything else at you. Its not just that phrase - it could have been anything, "AWOOGA!" or whatever.


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    #103
    madser
    Closed Accounts Posts: 190 ✭✭madser


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    How can he respect an opinion he knows nothing about?

    He does know she spoke to him yesterday and he just laughed at her:mad:


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    #104
    Marksie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    It is simply immature and thoughtless in the end. Thanks for updating OP.


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    #105
    brianthebard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,165 ✭✭✭✭brianthebard


    helppls08 wrote: »
    It wasn't just the ejaculating on me that upset me - it was shouting rubbish at me at that moment. I cant imagine you would like it if your partner screamed "just one thing" or anything else at you. Its not just that phrase - it could have been anything, "AWOOGA!" or whatever.

    has he apologised yet?i think that sort of behaviour is inappropriate for the bedroom.also you need to think about whether his treating you as an object is acceptable or a reason to break up.


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    #106
    jeepers101
    Registered Users Posts: 707 ✭✭✭jeepers101


    Any bloke with a bit of cop on knows no girl is gonna find that funny. I'd put money on it he's been bragging to his mates about what happened.


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    #107
    Grawns
    Registered Users Posts: 2,169 ✭✭✭Grawns


    He sounds incredibly immature. I can't imagine you wanting to let him near you after that. How are you supposed to fancy someone who might come out with something like that. Shudder!

    When he figures out that his behaviour has damaged the relationship that's a lesson that will be certain to mature him.


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    #108
    She Devil
    Registered Users Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭She Devil


    Lovemaking is all about the two involved being comfortable!!! He should know how important your lovemaking is! AND isn't it an unwritten rule for a guy to ask can he cum somewhere before he does? ie : inside you or outside you.
    I am very openminded regarding sex but would definately not appreciate someone taking me for granted, i think if he apologies you should move on, and talk about what you both want in the bedroom. Best of luck OP x


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    #109
    TheDriver
    Registered Users Posts: 12,431 ✭✭✭✭TheDriver


    I agree with She Devil, theres nothing primarily wrong with what he did, just the manner in which he took it for granted you would be ok with it, all he had to do was throw the idea out there and let you either agree or disagree with it being part of your fun. Maybe when you discuss the situation with him, you should take theopportunity to discuss your bedroom life and communication with each other and be able to ask each other regarding ideas ye both might like to explore and move on, I'm sure your bf is not a bad person, just made an assumption and mistake. Best of luck!!


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    #110
    chump
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,807 ✭✭✭chump


    Just one more thing, did he apologise for it?


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    #111
    Ghost Girl
    Registered Users Posts: 214 ✭✭Ghost Girl


    **************He's a ghoul!***********************

    Firstly you can allow for a person making a mistake and doing some thing like that, they thinking its funny

    But to dismiss your concerns when you raised it, is down right selfish, and childish.

    Secondly, if you feel you cant talk about it more because it may cause an argument, then your the fool, because you can't let some thing that annoys you go, for that reason!! So what, let the arguing begin, because I would be saying - listen buster, argue away, but if you want to dismiss my concerns in the bedroom - then you won't be in the bedroom with me any more!!

    It takes two to tango, and it should take to two to decide on what the tango is......!!!!!!!


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