LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

cristali · 15-10-2014 12:29pm

Thank you so much for your replies ... Today is a good day, feeling my old self... In the same time I know coz of my old self I got to this point in life...work, relationships, alone with a child in another country, no support... I thought for almost 10 years I can do it no problem, until now, when it feels like I'm overwhelmed...I'm listening a lot to Josep clough,especially when my head starts rambling and I can't stop the thoughts but I guess it's still tough to accept myself

cristali · 15-10-2014 12:35pm

DeVore wrote: »

I know a secret.

We all wake up feeling useless, weak, vulnerable, terrified, having really, really bad thoughts sometimes. Your's sounds like a harder road then most but while I don't want to give you bad news, it probably means you need to fight harder than most too

So, here's the good news. You are doing the right things. My advice? Stop being Xena, its distancing you from who you really are and how you really feel which isn't good (its called dissociation and I did it a lot ). Take the meds, they aren't the same and you might find they work really well for you, everyone here on this thread seems to have different responses to different drugs.

Talk to your counsellor... ask if you can work out something like 50 euro a week? or go every second week if you have to. Most counsellors will find a way if you explain your situation.

Kill your ego before it kills you. Trust me on this one and honestly, if you take one thing from what I say, kill your ego... you will find it the most empowering and uplifting thing ever. When you allow yourself to be human, the weight of pressure to succeed and the unreal expectations of the ego lift and you can honestly find a peace and a happiness. With ego people can hurt you, people can say mean things to you and get to you. Without ego, its a lovely sea of calm... a lake of peace. If only I could find a way to stay there myself

Unfortunately I don't think she would put the price down instead I will try to see her every second week although I feel like I'm relying on her to give me my sanity back, in a way ....allowing myself to be human, that's what my counsellor says all the time and that's what I find most difficult ...how do you do that when all your life you bullied yourself with these high expectations ?

Drumpot · 15-10-2014 12:50pm

cristali wrote: »

Thank you so much for your replies ... Today is a good day, feeling my old self... In the same time I know coz of my old self I got to this point in life...work, relationships, alone with a child in another country, no support... I thought for almost 10 years I can do it no problem, until now, when it feels like I'm overwhelmed...I'm listening a lot to Josep clough,especially when my head starts rambling and I can't stop the thoughts but I guess it's still tough to accept myself

I used to think "if I don't have the answers to my problem, nobody else will". In truth I was the biggest problem in my own life. I was holding back any change or progress in my life because my ego (as Devore eluded to) convinced me that only I could fix how I felt in life.

I have as much, if not more responsibilities then I have ever had and while I get anxious, scared, sad, down, upset quite regularly, I do it with support. This has not happened over night. The single biggest obstacle was accepting "I cant do this on my own", just acknowledging that I was getting overwhelmed with my life. I thought the lives of people who relied on me would crumble if I ever showed a weakness like this, but in truth the world didn't fall apart and I believe that this change in mentality has changed my life beyond how I could ever of dreamed.

I have support from my G.P. , my therapist, a support group, family and select friends. I don't just have one "goto" person with my problems. It is so empowering when you can step back from your head and see your life for what it really is. When I was caught up in my life, I couldn't see how much damage I was doing to myself and my family by extension. I realised that just because I am trying my hardest to help my family it doesn't mean I am doing right by them or myself.

I was able to accept that my life was unmanageable and I found the support that works for me through sheer desperation.

I am glad that you feel good today, but if you are anything like me, this good feeling will pass. Sharing my feelings on this forum always gave me a shot in the arm, like I felt at least I wasn't alone. But invariably I would feel down again and the benefits of sharing hear got less and less. That's when I knew I needed to take it to the next step.

Nothing comes of nothing, acknowledging my life was tough and I was struggling was only part of the solution, taking action to change things was the next step. I found I got caught up trying to think myself well.

You know the way people say "I will never be like my parents" and they do absolutely no work to make sure it doesn't happen? They think that by saying it, they wont do it ? That's exactly how I feel my progress can be measured. How much I actually got engaged in things that I was not the one calling the shots. Group Therapy, individual therapy (CBT), coming to forums, actually giving suggestions (meditation, exercise etc) a good chance before dismissing them if they don't make me feel instantly well.

You took a brave step coming to this thread for help. Consider continuing to share, read back through different peoples stories to see if you can relate and try to learn to reach out for help. I didn't watch Xena to be honest but as a fan of superhero movies even I know superheroes need a little help from time to time . .;)

guitarzero · 15-10-2014 1:43pm

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/oct/14/age-of-loneliness-killing-us

DeVore · 15-10-2014 2:48pm

cristali wrote: »

Unfortunately I don't think she would put the price down instead I will try to see her every second week although I feel like I'm relying on her to give me my sanity back, in a way ....allowing myself to be human, that's what my counsellor says all the time and that's what I find most difficult ...how do you do that when all your life you bullied yourself with these high expectations ?

Do you know that for sure or.... (and forgive me), is that your ego finding a reason not to ask? (you don't have to answer that here, but you do have to answer that honestly to yourself).

I only say that because boy can I empathise with that. Anything like that would be tantamount to saying I was incapable of performing perfectly fine on my own. I didn't need anyone and I would rather wreck myself and my life rather than acknowledge the need for help.

So, I have a suggestion for you, a challenge... a dare even

You have to go to your counsellor and ask him/her for a discount. No shirking it, this is an exercise in humility and vulnerability and yes they might say no and you will have to deal with that. Thems the breaks and the risks of human contact.

But either way, if you see this as acknowledging the need for help, rather then humiliating begging as you probably think of it (at least, that's how I would have!

), then you will get a lot from the experience.

cristali · 15-10-2014 3:29pm

DeVore wrote: »

Do you know that for sure or.... (and forgive me), is that your ego finding a reason not to ask? (you don't have to answer that here, but you do have to answer that honestly to yourself).

I only say that because boy can I empathise with that. Anything like that would be tantamount to saying I was incapable of performing perfectly fine on my own. I didn't need anyone and I would rather wreck myself and my life rather than acknowledge the need for help.

So, I have a suggestion for you, a challenge... a dare even
You have to go to your counsellor and ask him/her for a discount. No shirking it, this is an exercise in humility and vulnerability and yes they might say no and you will have to deal with that. Thems the breaks and the risks of human contact.
But either way, if you see this as acknowledging the need for help, rather then humiliating begging as you probably think of it (at least, that's how I would have! ), then you will get a lot from the experience.

We talked about rates from the start and she said that's how much she charges but I'll give it a try anyway ... I do understand what you're saying, I'm like that , I asked for help after a week of terrible anxiety and thinking I'm possessed and unworthy of everything...aah Even reminding myself of my bad days makes me get shivers ...

cristali · 15-10-2014 3:34pm

Drumpot wrote: »

I used to think "if I don't have the answers to my problem, nobody else will". In truth I was the biggest problem in my own life. I was holding back any change or progress in my life because my ego (as Devore eluded to) convinced me that only I could fix how I felt in life.

I have as much, if not more responsibilities then I have ever had and while I get anxious, scared, sad, down, upset quite regularly, I do it with support. This has not happened over night. The single biggest obstacle was accepting "I cant do this on my own", just acknowledging that I was getting overwhelmed with my life. I thought the lives of people who relied on me would crumble if I ever showed a weakness like this, but in truth the world didn't fall apart and I believe that this change in mentality has changed my life beyond how I could ever of dreamed.

I have support from my G.P. , my therapist, a support group, family and select friends. I don't just have one "goto" person with my problems. It is so empowering when you can step back from your head and see your life for what it really is. When I was caught up in my life, I couldn't see how much damage I was doing to myself and my family by extension. I realised that just because I am trying my hardest to help my family it doesn't mean I am doing right by them or myself.

I was able to accept that my life was unmanageable and I found the support that works for me through sheer desperation.

I am glad that you feel good today, but if you are anything like me, this good feeling will pass. Sharing my feelings on this forum always gave me a shot in the arm, like I felt at least I wasn't alone. But invariably I would feel down again and the benefits of sharing hear got less and less. That's when I knew I needed to take it to the next step.

Nothing comes of nothing, acknowledging my life was tough and I was struggling was only part of the solution, taking action to change things was the next step. I found I got caught up trying to think myself well.

You know the way people say "I will never be like my parents" and they do absolutely no work to make sure it doesn't happen? They think that by saying it, they wont do it ? That's exactly how I feel my progress can be measured. How much I actually got engaged in things that I was not the one calling the shots. Group Therapy, individual therapy (CBT), coming to forums, actually giving suggestions (meditation, exercise etc) a good chance before dismissing them if they don't make me feel instantly well.

You took a brave step coming to this thread for help. Consider continuing to share, read back through different peoples stories to see if you can relate and try to learn to reach out for help. I didn't watch Xena to be honest but as a fan of superhero movies even I know superheroes need a little help from time to time . .;)

I know I can't do this on my own and I have a few good friends that support me now, but I was always the person they used to go to for everything and I think that's why is so tough for me to accept myself now, from that strong person that I was that nothing was putting her down, I fell ...to the stage that I'm even afraid sometimes to sleep alone and when I have a good day and Im smiling I'm afraid next day might be very bad ...
I always used to say I will never be like my parents and I ended up making the same mistakes as they did

looking_around · 15-10-2014 4:49pm

cristali wrote: »

We talked about rates from the start and she said that's how much she charges but I'll give it a try anyway ... I do understand what you're saying, I'm like that , I asked for help after a week of terrible anxiety and thinking I'm possessed and unworthy of everything...aah Even reminding myself of my bad days makes me get shivers ...

Depending on your reasons for seeking counselling or even past history. Have you considered the "Adult Counselling Service"? They are free and not connected to the HSE/GP referral.
They're speciality I suppose, is abuse, but you don't need to see them about abuse, it's just that they only take on people who have suffered abuse in their life. (this could be parental, teachers, bullying, emotional, physical..it's quite a wide range.)

Outside of that, you could look into a new counsellor?

I know from a friend of a friend, that registered counsellors, are meant to charge, I think it's between 55 and 70..or something like that, anyway, they apparently can't go around saying they'll charge 20.
But, try a different counsellor, often when you talk to them they have "whatever you can afford" rate.

And lastly, but the longest in terms of waiting lists, get your GP to refer you to a psychiatrist, who in the mean time will get you to see psychiatric nurses and they can refer you to psychologist. So you can actually be on the counselling waiting list before ever seeing the psychiatrist. the pysch nurses can also be very helpful. And I'd advise that anyway, if you feel like you're needing a little extra support.
It's free, and has been a life saver for me.

The thing about seeing a counsellor through the HSE, is well.....it's about a year waiting list. however you can see the nurses, multiple times a week if you want/need.

cristali · 15-10-2014 5:04pm

looking_around wrote: »

Depending on your reasons for seeking counselling or even past history. Have you considered the "Adult Counselling Service"? They are free and not connected to the HSE/GP referral.
They're speciality I suppose, is abuse, but you don't need to see them about abuse, it's just that they only take on people who have suffered abuse in their life. (this could be parental, teachers, bullying, emotional, physical..it's quite a wide range.)

Outside of that, you could look into a new counsellor?

I know from a friend of a friend, that registered counsellors, are meant to charge, I think it's between 55 and 70..or something like that, anyway, they apparently can't go around saying they'll charge 20.
But, try a different counsellor, often when you talk to them they have "whatever you can afford" rate.

And lastly, but the longest in terms of waiting lists, get your GP to refer you to a psychiatrist, who in the mean time will get you to see psychiatric nurses and they can refer you to psychologist. So you can actually be on the counselling waiting list before ever seeing the psychiatrist. the pysch nurses can also be very helpful. And I'd advise that anyway, if you feel like you're needing a little extra support.
It's free, and has been a life saver for me.

The thing about seeing a counsellor through the HSE, is well.....it's about a year waiting list. however you can see the nurses, multiple times a week if you want/need.

I asked my gp to reffer me to a counsellor and she gave me a list with different counsellors and off you go, nothing else, I will try to find another one ....can you tell.Me more about adult counselling service please, abuse is between the things that triggered everything

looking_around · 15-10-2014 5:59pm

cristali wrote: »

I asked my gp to reffer me to a counsellor and she gave me a list with different counsellors and off you go, nothing else, I will try to find another one ....can you tell.Me more about adult counselling service please, abuse is between the things that triggered everything

Yeah, don't ask your GP to refer you to a counsellor, they can't, you need to be referred to an outpatient unit. (a psychiatrist, who then refers you to a counsellor..awkward I know.)
[Just editing the above. ] . The first time, I had to go through a psychiatrist, this was a few years back now. More recently my GP referred me to the local outpatient facility, requesting CBT and counselling services. For this, I spoke to 2 psychiatric nurses and was then added to a waiting list, that was supposed to take 4 to 6 months, but took a year. )

I don't know your area, I used their services while I lived in limerick, it's HSE funded as far as I know.

The HSE National Counselling Service (NCS) is available to adults who experienced abuse as a child. Counselling is available at 60 locations throughout Ireland and can be accessed by calling freephone 1800 670 700 for an appointment at a location of your choice.

See if that works, if not, if you would like to let me know your county, I might be able to get you a contact number for the area. Your GP may or may not know of the free services, perhaps you could ask them and specify that that's what you're looking for.

Some numbers specific to regions here http://www.irishhealth.com/article.html?con=437

Mid Western Health Board
Adult Counselling Service.
Freephone: 1800 234115

Southern Health Board:
Adult Counselling Service.
Freephone: 1800 234116

North Eastern Health Board:
Adult Counselling Service.
Freephone 1800 234117

South Eastern Health Board:
Adult Counselling Service.
Freephone: 1800 234118

North Western Health Board
Adult Counselling Service.
Freephone: 1800 234119

0byme75341jo28 · 15-10-2014 6:06pm

looking_around wrote: »

Yeah, don't ask your GP to refer you to a counsellor, they can't, you need to be referred to an outpatient unit. (a psychiatrist, who then refers you to a counsellor..awkward I know.)

Just curious about this as I've only spoken to my GP recently.

He told me he'd send me to a counsellor, he definitely just meant a psychiatrist? Also, what do ye think about going privately as opposed to going through the HSE? Is it worth the extra money? Just trying to see what your experiences have been with both systems, I've rarely heard anything good about the HSE to be honest.

looking_around · 15-10-2014 6:06pm

looking_around wrote: »

Yeah, don't ask your GP to refer you to a counsellor, they can't, you need to be referred to an outpatient unit. (a psychiatrist, who then refers you to a counsellor..awkward I know.)

I don't know your area, I used their services while I lived in limerick, it's HSE funded as far as I know.

See if that works, if not, if you would like to let me know your county, I might be able to get you a contact number for the area. Your GP may or may not know of the free services, perhaps you could ask them and specify that that's what you're looking for.

Some numbers specific to regions here http://www.irishhealth.com/article.html?con=437

Basically, from my own experiences. you call the number, they set you up an appointment to see what you're looking to get out of the counselling, a quick (not detailed) run down of your issues/experiences, and your level of need.

They then tell you there's a bit of a long waiting list, and they'll add you and let you you know. (I was waiting 3 weeks. )

looking_around · 15-10-2014 6:14pm

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

Just curious about this as I've only spoken to my GP recently.

He told me he'd send me to a counsellor, he definitely just meant a psychiatrist? Also, what do ye think about going privately as opposed to going through the HSE? Is it worth the extra money? Just trying to see what your experiences have been with both systems, I've rarely heard anything good about the HSE to be honest.

from my experience it's outpatient units they refer you to, you may not actually see a psychiatrist. more recently, I just spoke to psych nurses and got referred from there.

private means no waiting lists, which if you really really need it, that's obviously useful. if you can wait, then might as well

Macavity. · 15-10-2014 6:19pm

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

Just curious about this as I've only spoken to my GP recently.

He told me he'd send me to a counsellor, he definitely just meant a psychiatrist? Also, what do ye think about going privately as opposed to going through the HSE? Is it worth the extra money? Just trying to see what your experiences have been with both systems, I've rarely heard anything good about the HSE to be honest.

No, it definitely wouldn't be a psychiatrist. Probably a psychologist or a psychotherapist.

cristali · 15-10-2014 9:07pm

How is everyone tonight?

wexie · 15-10-2014 11:02pm

cristali wrote: »

How is everyone tonight?

hmmm.....terrible terrible unproductive day (weather didn't help) but managed to get out to an evening course I've started taking so that was good and has made me feel a bit better.

How are you doing?

Freezing!! · 16-10-2014 12:22am

wexie wrote: »

hmmm.....terrible terrible unproductive day (weather didn't help) but managed to get out to an evening course I've started taking so that was good and has made me feel a bit better.

How are you doing?

I'm doing okay tonight, got some stuff done that needed to be done earlier on today. Didn't feel great about getting up and going out this morning but it's good to have it out of the way. I'm finding myself feeling quite guilty recently over my depression, not liking it at all, trying to do my best to avoid feeling this way but it isn't easy.

cristali · 16-10-2014 7:06am

wexie wrote: »

hmmm.....terrible terrible unproductive day (weather didn't help) but managed to get out to an evening course I've started taking so that was good and has made me feel a bit better.

How are you doing?

I felt horrible , panicked and got really really afraid of my thoughts ...so afraid thinking that I could fall asleep and do something bad while asleep although I never sleep walked in my life and couldn't even hurt a fly

mickstupp · 16-10-2014 7:39am

Not getting nearly enough time alone lately, all the people everywhere are driving me mad. Need space to clear my head each week and I'm not getting it and it's making me feel really not good.

wexie · 16-10-2014 8:51am

cristali wrote: »

I felt horrible , panicked and got really really afraid of my thoughts ...so afraid thinking that I could fall asleep and do something bad while asleep although I never sleep walked in my life and couldn't even hurt a fly

Did your GP give you something for the anxiety? I find it to be far more disruptive than depression, and certainly more disruptive to family life. I'm taking Xanax at the moment (little worried as they're supposed to be addictive) and was talking to a nurse about whether or not it's working, she asked me did I feel sleepy or buzzed at all and when I thought about it I realised the only difference it's made is it seems my mind has stopped racing ALL the time. She said to me that the fact I'm not getting the 'recreational' effects are a good indication of how much I needed it

wexie · 16-10-2014 8:56am

mickstupp wrote: »

Not getting nearly enough time alone lately, all the people everywhere are driving me mad. Need space to clear my head each week and I'm not getting it and it's making me feel really not good.

Alone time (for me anyways) is super important but there's a big difference in being alone and feeling alone. Had to explain recently that I hardly ever get to be alone but almost always feel, terrible combination.

One thing that I've found helpful, if you've the time and money, is to take up an evening course, something run in your local school, nothing too official. It'll get you out of the house but also away from your regular stresses, you wont be alone but it'll be something just for you. The fact that it's organised might help with actually going. All good and well to decide you're going for a long walk every evening, you need to actually go though....

looking_around · 16-10-2014 11:53am

mickstupp wrote: »

Not getting nearly enough time alone lately, all the people everywhere are driving me mad. Need space to clear my head each week and I'm not getting it and it's making me feel really not good.

This is a huge thing for me.

And since I've started a course and driving lessons, I hardly have alone time.

For me it's not just about "me" time, and I need time to be quiet and free from all thoughts. (while not sleeping.)

for this I have my yoga time. And I'll go and do yoga and I'm alone.
I also might go to bed a little later than normal, or wake up earlier so it's just me awake. And that's nice.

Importantly, is finding time for your space. Know exactly what you need when you say "alone time". And a find a way u#you can have that, maybe at the end of the day, start or one day a week.

See if the people around you, know that you need this, and tell them what they are to do when you are having your "alone time". Like leaving you alone in the room, or not talking to you for an hour or 2 or the day. Let them know.

cristali · 16-10-2014 12:07pm

wexie wrote: »

Did your GP give you something for the anxiety? I find it to be far more disruptive than depression, and certainly more disruptive to family life. I'm taking Xanax at the moment (little worried as they're supposed to be addictive) and was talking to a nurse about whether or not it's working, she asked me did I feel sleepy or buzzed at all and when I thought about it I realised the only difference it's made is it seems my mind has stopped racing ALL the time. She said to me that the fact I'm not getting the 'recreational' effects are a good indication of how much I needed it

They never gave me xanax, I do have it in the house tho, but the feeling was that I could fall asleep and unsconsciously I could hurt someone ... And then I was crying all night about how I could have that thought in my head, is very very confusing for me

sunshine and showers · 16-10-2014 12:29pm

Anytime I'm suffering some kind of stress (usually emotional) I wake up at about 4am every night. No problem getting to sleep, but I'll be wide awake in the middle of the night and take an hour or so to get back to (very broken) sleep. It's so annoying.

DeVore · 16-10-2014 12:57pm

sunshine and showers wrote: »

Anytime I'm suffering some kind of stress (usually emotional) I wake up at about 4am every night. No problem getting to sleep, but I'll be wide awake in the middle of the night and take an hour or so to get back to (very broken) sleep. It's so annoying.

Yep, me too. Its so sooo frustrating. I'll wake up and look at the clock and its 5am and I'm like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FFS!! >.<

wexie · 16-10-2014 1:21pm

sunshine and showers wrote: »

Anytime I'm suffering some kind of stress (usually emotional) I wake up at about 4am every night. No problem getting to sleep, but I'll be wide awake in the middle of the night and take an hour or so to get back to (very broken) sleep. It's so annoying.

DeVore wrote: »

Yep, me too. Its so sooo frustrating. I'll wake up and look at the clock and its 5am and I'm like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FFS!! >.<

You want to be fondling your kidney meridian points (no laughing in the back there!) for a few minutes every day (3 or so). Preferably at the opposite side of the clock as when you wake up, wake up at 4am, try to do it at 4pm.

It's the one in this graphic marked KI-1

I've been taking a mindfulness and meditation course (turned out to be mostly meditation) and while I was always of the opinion that if alternative medicine really worked it'd just be called medicine.....I'm starting to come around to think there may be something to it. Certainly some people reporting in the class (with similar symptoms as you guys) they're sleeping better than they have in years.

**********
Just to expand on this a bit, teacher started chatting about aura's and stuff....which I'm highly sceptical about...but then she started explaining quite how the aura is made up, explaining chakra's and meridians and meridian points. Meridian points are some of the points used in accupuncture and accupuncture would be more in the realm of things I'd be willing to believe, rather than a lot of mumbo jumbo involving sacrificing young goats under a waning moon with your wife's underpants on your head while chanting Daniel O'Donnel's version of Danny Boy.

Long story short, I've tried some of it....and some of it works :eek:

**********

Worse that can happen is you end up with smelly fingers from fondling your feet, give it a go for a few days

wexie · 16-10-2014 1:25pm

Macavity. wrote: »

No, it definitely wouldn't be a psychiatrist. Probably a psychologist or a psychotherapist.

Are you sure about this? I've just been referred to an actual real life psychiatrist (pretty decent one well by all accounts) after long discussions with the GP. It's definitely possible so. First appointment next week (3 week waiting list which seems to be pretty damn good***).

And before you start saying perhaps I'm just especially ****ed up (I do accept that possibility is there) the GP made it clear that for depression (and certainly for anxiety) referrals to psychiatrists aren't unusual at all.

***just one of the many benefits of being a country dweller

DeVore · 16-10-2014 2:57pm

Its quite possible I guess.... though its also quite possible the doc just calls Psychologists "Psychiatrist" too... or thinks that the patient might not know what a Psychologist is... or there's none available in your area in which case they would definitely fall back to a Psychiatrist. I guess the person might even be qualified as both...

DeVore · 16-10-2014 2:59pm

As for fondling my kidney meridian lines, I'm not entirely sure about that ... I've no idea where to find them but I'm generally willing to fondle anything and everything ! :eek:

0byme75341jo28 · 16-10-2014 3:19pm

Are doctors allowed refuse to write you a medical cert? I want to defer a year of college because I'm finding it extremely difficult to keep myself going in, and even when I go in there I can't concentrate and feel very bad in general, it basically wasn't doing any good for me and with the amount of work I missed my chances of failing are very high. Anyway, he won't write me a cert so I can defer the year even though the first-year coordinator in college agreed that giving myself a year to sort my head out would be the best option. Can I do anything about it besides trying to get him to change his mind? I really can't deal with college this year, I'm not going back there anyway even if he does continue to refuse to write the cert. The amount of stress this is causing me is worrying and making me feel much much worse than I have before. I just feel like getting hold of some vodka later on and trying to forget all this, it's too much.

LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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