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Pointless

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  • 08-03-2010 11:53am
    #1
    cson
    Registered Users Posts: 14,432 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm after indulging myself in a packet of Thai Sweet Chili's - very nom nom btw. Horror of horrors I'd forgotten to bring my book so I ended up reading the literature that was on the packet. Apparently it's "made with real ingredients".

    Well imagine my relief. I can sleep safe in the knowledge that Walkers don't trip it off to Never Never Land for their flavourings and potatoes. Made with real ingredients..... as opposed to what; imaginery ones?

    Seriously; who gets paid to come up with this ****? Cos I want that job. Anyone else got any pointless blurb you've seen written on food packets or any packets of anything in fact?


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    #2
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    "Contents are hot" on takeaway coffee cups.


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    #3
    littlefriend
    Registered Users Posts: 1,900 ✭✭✭littlefriend


    Not food but Vanish for clothes 'with special stain seeker technology'.


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    #4
    Gone Drinking
    Registered Users Posts: 2,809 ✭✭✭Gone Drinking


    Techron cleans your engine


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    #5
    cson
    Registered Users Posts: 14,432 ✭✭✭✭cson


    littlefriend wrote: »
    Not food but Vanish for clothes 'with special stain seeker technology'.

    Jesus CIA much? :eek:


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    #6
    m@cc@
    Registered Users Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭m@cc@


    cson wrote: »
    I'm after indulging myself in a packet of Thai Sweet Chili's - very nom nom btw. Horror of horrors I'd forgotten to bring my book so I ended up reading the literature that was on the packet. Apparently it's "made with real ingredients".

    Well imagine my relief. I can sleep safe in the knowledge that Walkers don't trip it off to Never Never Land for their flavourings and potatoes. Made with real ingredients..... as opposed to what; imaginery ones?

    Seriously; who gets paid to come up with this ****? Cos I want that job. Anyone else got any pointless blurb you've seen written on food packets or any packets of anything in fact?


    I seen some pointless blurb written in an opening post once.........


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    #7
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    Warning: Threads posted in After Hours may be pointless.


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    #8
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    The word newspaper prominently displayed on copies of the SINDO.


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    #9
    littlefriend
    Registered Users Posts: 1,900 ✭✭✭littlefriend


    cson wrote: »
    Jesus CIA much? :eek:
    Sorry, I don't know what that means?


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    #10
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    littlefriend wrote: »
    Not food but Vanish for clothes 'with special stain seeker technology'.

    That's actual technology man. There's stain seeking nanobots in Vanish. It's all very high grade military industrial complex cleaning technology.
    stovelid wrote: »
    The word newspaper prominently displayed on copies of the SINDO.

    That's just false advertising surely?


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    #11
    neilthefunkeone
    Registered Users Posts: 1,522 ✭✭✭neilthefunkeone


    Bifidus Digestivum....

    I can do science me!!!


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    #12
    alwaysadub
    Registered Users Posts: 11,554 ✭✭✭✭alwaysadub


    On a bottle of bleach,'caution, contains bleach'


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    #13
    Super-Rush
    Registered Users Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭Super-Rush


    On a packt of Smoke XXXX "not for human consumtion"


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    #14
    Dr. Feelgood
    Registered Users Posts: 115 ✭✭Dr. Feelgood


    "may contain nuts" on packets of peanuts is pretty pointless.


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    #15
    Danbo!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,942 ✭✭✭Danbo!


    "Do not read while box is open" is written on the bottom of boxes of Celebrations sweets.

    "Do not operate heavy machinery after consumption" on Boots' version of Calpol under-six's


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    #16
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Dr. Feelgood wrote: »
    "may contain nuts" on packets of peanuts is pretty pointless.

    I'd be pretty pissed if i bought peanuts that DIDNT contain nuts tbh

    "do not iron clothes while being worn" yes that is a real iron warning label, never underestimate the influence one moron can have on the rest of us


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    #17
    bazmaiden
    Registered Users Posts: 2,039 ✭✭✭bazmaiden


    Warning: Not for human consumption - Any item of head shop paraphernalia


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    #18
    NothingMan
    Registered Users Posts: 11,178 ✭✭✭✭NothingMan


    I do feel that all these new pro biotic type yogurt drinks just steal their new "ingredient" names from the Harry Potter books. Bifidus activus regularus! *waves wand at cholesterol*.


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    #19
    Cookie_Monster
    Registered Users Posts: 24,489 ✭✭✭✭Cookie_Monster


    Contains Milk

    On a milk carton :rolleyes:


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    #20
    jokettle
    Registered Users Posts: 11,419 ✭✭✭✭jokettle


    I just bought a pair of running shoes and was told "scientists at NASA were paid €1m each to design the best running shoes and this is what they produced!" I had just paid for them; delivering a ridiculous sales pitch after making the sale is pointless at best and bloody annoying at worst!

    Sports brands have too much money and NASA has far too much free time.


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    #21
    Heisenberg.
    Registered Users Posts: 7,541 ✭✭✭Heisenberg.


    This post has been deleted.


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    #22
    Cookie_Monster
    Registered Users Posts: 24,489 ✭✭✭✭Cookie_Monster


    jokettle wrote: »
    I just bought a pair of running shoes and was told "scientists at NASA were paid €1m each to design the best running shoes and this is what they produced!" I had just paid for them; delivering a ridiculous sales pitch after making the sale is pointless at best and bloody annoying at worst!

    Sports brands have too much money and NASA has far too much free time.

    great, give me €1m to design a shoe and I'll go out and buy a pair of aisics, take off the label and hand them over. €999,860 up on the deal :D


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    #23
    Theta
    Registered Users Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭Theta


    Cookie_Monster wrote: »
    great, give me €1m to design a shoe and I'll go out and buy a pair of aisics, take off the label and hand them over. €999,860 up on the deal :D


    140 euro to buy a pair of runners? Id want at least 2m to do that job then, think about it man your only left with €999,860


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    #24
    Catari Jaguar
    Registered Users Posts: 6,649 ✭✭✭Catari Jaguar


    Children's cough medicine: May cause drowsiness. Do not opearte heavy machinery. :rolleyes:


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    #25
    Theta
    Registered Users Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭Theta


    Lil Kitten wrote: »
    Children's cough medicine: May cause drowsiness. Do not opearte heavy machinery. :rolleyes:

    I can see a reason to this. Its to stop people going. The childrens one doesn't have the warning on it. Maybe ill just take that one and go into work!


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    #26
    artanevilla
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 10,484 Mod ✭✭✭✭artanevilla


    Lil Kitten wrote: »
    Children's cough medicine: May cause drowsiness. Do not opearte heavy machinery. :rolleyes:

    What if you're Luke and 5 and your dad's Bruce Lee, who drives you round in his JCB?


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    #27
    KnifeWRENCH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,148 ✭✭✭✭KnifeWRENCH


    "Serving suggestions" on boxes of some foods, where the picture just shows the food on a plate.

    Serving suggestion = a plate! :rolleyes:


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    #28
    MistyCheese
    Registered Users Posts: 4,005 ✭✭✭MistyCheese


    Magnus wrote: »
    "Contents are hot" on takeaway coffee cups.

    Now that really is stupid. What about two hours later? Are the contents still hot?


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    #29
    Theta
    Registered Users Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭Theta


    MistyCheese wrote: »
    Now that really is stupid. What about two hours later? Are the contents still hot?

    THIS is the reason for that warning!

    Read the verdict section!


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    #30
    dr gonzo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,676 ✭✭✭dr gonzo


    I saw a dog bed box that had "dog not included" on it. A proud moment for the human race.


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    #31
    Dunjohn
    Registered Users Posts: 1,345 ✭✭✭Dunjohn


    On a Star Wars space ship in a toy shop: "Toy displayed in a fantasy setting."

    Also, can somebody explain to me precisely how one "takes" something internally? On a bottle of TipEx I bought earlier, it said, "if taken internally, consult a doctor." WTF does that mean?


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