Approaching a Girl in the Street

05-03-2012 8:38pm #1

We've seen this happen all the time in romcoms - guy walks up to girl/girl walks up to guy they don't know and sparks a conversation, eventually leading to an invite for a coffee/pint/whatever. Seemingly this works all the time in the movies, but have any guys here actually tried it and, if so, what happened?

Humorous stories welcome!

Princess Peach · 05-03-2012 8:55pm

It happened to me before. He was "from out of town" and needed directions to a pub, maybe I should join him. I kinda laughed and said no.

I'm very shy though! I never even said yes to dates with guys I met in clubs.
I guess it could work depending on the girl! It just caught me off guard, and I remember I was coming from the gym and looked like crap, no was was I going to the pub, think that was the main thought in my mind!

MrStuffins · 05-03-2012 8:57pm

Princess Peach wrote: »

It happened to me before. He was "from out of town" and needed directions to a pub, maybe I should join him. I kinda laughed and said no.

I'm very shy though! I never even said yes to dates with guys I met in clubs.
I guess it could work depending on the girl! It just caught me off guard, and I remember I was coming from the gym and looked like crap, no was was I going to the pub, think that was the main thought in my mind!

"Why hi there Princess Peach. I'm looking for a particular pub and some company........ perhaps you would like to join me?"

- "Thank you stranger......... but your princess is in another boozer!!"

jaffacakesyum · 05-03-2012 8:59pm

Haven't been approached on the street by any (sober) men but I did while I was waiting at the bus stop and it freaked me out to be honest cos the guy ended up sitting next to me on the bus and I really wasn't interested but he didn't get the hint!

Raminahobbin · 05-03-2012 9:10pm

It's really weird lads. It's common in America AFAIK, but not so much here. A friend of mine is living there at the moment, and gets asked frequently for her number by random guys. I don't know any girl who would go for it here since it's very out of the blue, but it does make us feel good!

I was in a bookshop and afterwards, while crossing a nearby bridge, a guy fell into step with me and struck up a conversation about the book he'd seen me buy. He then asked me to go to the cinema with him that weekend! I declined, as a default 'stranger alert' reaction, but looking back I think I should have gone for it! If it happened tomorrow, I think I'd still say no though. It's just too unexpected!

I also had a guy trying 'The Game' out on me in the Jervis Centre before. He was trying to do the insult compliment thing they describe in the book and hook me in with some other techniques, but he just insulted me a bit too much and REALLY annoyed me so I told him to fcuk off and stormed off.

Abi · 05-03-2012 9:14pm

boneyarsebogman wrote: »

We've seen this happen all the time in romcoms - guy walks up to girl/girl walks up to guy they don't know and sparks a conversation, eventually leading to an invite for a coffee/pint/whatever. Seemingly this works all the time in the movies, but have any guys here actually tried it and, if so, what happened?

Humorous stories welcome!

I think women get weak at the knees or certainly wishy for this stuff, though when presented with it in RL most of them think you're possible loons, no offence. They are aren't being nasty, if a film pans out the right way that's one thing, in RL, the chick knows nothing of you. It's smart to be cautious.

That said, if I was a single gal and he seemed genuine, I'd have a drink with with a guy that seemed nice and was brave enough to say something (:

beks101 · 05-03-2012 9:16pm

I think a lot of women will encourage the idea of the cold-approach, but the reality is usually a lot different. Those rom coms have a lot to answer for.

It happened to me at a bus stop once and another time on the street where some dude went from asking directions to asking me out in about 2.5 seconds. It made me smile in hindsight, but to be honest at the time my instinct was just to get away as fast as possible, as if I was trying to escape a chugger or something. It's just that caught-offguard thing, we don't have a culture of it so you don't expect it and it can be a little intimidating.

In Canada, it's different. Not as mad as the States but a hell of a lot more common. It's happened me a few times in the subway station, once in the mall and once even in the supermarket! And not because I'm some big ride or anything, it's just the done thing! It usually goes - prolonged eye contact, they move themselves closer to you and ask about train times/opening or closing times or comment on the weather, mundane stuff. The most interesting one was probably the guy who sat beside me on the subway, asked for directions to a certain street, I gave him directions, he asked if I was single, asked for my number and then got off five stops too early!

Pembily · 05-03-2012 9:19pm

Happened me with a guy in a shop I had been in a few times. I said yes and we had a fun few weeks

05-03-2012 9:20pm

Hm. I'm quite tempted to try it now and see what happens. It would be an interesting experience/experiment.

MadYaker · 05-03-2012 9:23pm

Never tried it but id say a waste of time tbh. Stranger danger kicks in.

py2006 · 05-03-2012 9:24pm

It is not something I would ever do but from what I hear, you are more than likely to freak out an Irish girl. Apparently, Russian girls are more appreciative of this approach. But don't quote me, I am no expert. I'd come across as a nervous wreck if I tried it.

Pembily · 05-03-2012 9:25pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Hm. I'm quite tempted to try it now and see what happens. It would be an interesting experience/experiment.

Go for it, I was on cloud nine after it! An American friend of mine loved it as it happens regularly over there! I didn't think he was a freak but I was well shocked, I couldn't string a sentence together and for me that's no easy task!

05-03-2012 9:26pm

What is it that makes us like that though? I mean, it's only recently that online dating has become somewhat acceptable over here. What makes us so afraid of meeting people in somewhat unconventional means?

awec · 05-03-2012 9:29pm

This post has been deleted.

Starokan · 05-03-2012 9:34pm

Tried it once years back encouraged by my mates, failed miserably, i saw the look of abject horror on her face as i began my ill fated charm offensive :pac:

At the time I felt like chucking myself in the liffey but looking back it was pretty funny, i totally lost my nerve and was just babbling some incoherent nonsense to her. Id say she thought i was let out for the day or something :pac:

Pembily · 05-03-2012 9:37pm

Deleted User wrote: »

What is it that makes us like that though? I mean, it's only recently that online dating has become somewhat acceptable over here. What makes us so afraid of meeting people in somewhat unconventional means?

Same reason masturbation is dirty! It's not something we have talked about or done a lot so it's new!

MrStuffins · 05-03-2012 9:41pm

Pembily wrote: »

Same reason masturbation is dirty! It's not something we have talked about or done a lot so it's new!

................

You must be new here.........

Pembily · 05-03-2012 9:50pm

MrStuffins wrote: »

................

You must be new here.........

I didn't mean masturbation, I meant asking out randomly!

MadYaker · 05-03-2012 9:54pm

Seems strange that it would scare irish girls considering plenty are quite happy to have sex with some lad they met for the first time in a club 2 hours beforehand...

Granted there is alcohol involved in that situation but I've been brought home by 1 or 2 sober ones.

MrStuffins · 05-03-2012 10:04pm

MadYaker wrote: »

Seems strange that it would scare irish girls considering plenty are quite happy to have sex with some lad they met for the first time in a club 2 hours beforehand...

Well this is the thing isn't it? A lot of irish girls seem to think they're above guys talking to them and such and a lot of them (not all of them of course) have a very skewed view of things!

Girl: "Hey, you know that good looking guy? Well I got his number and I rang him last night at 3am on a private number and just kept quiet! When he answered it sounded like he was alone so he must be single! But i wasn't sure so I found out where he lived and went around to his house to see if there was more than one car outside but there wasn't!

So then I found out where he worked and turned up outside his job as he left to try and strike up a conversation with him but I missed him. Perhaps i'll just send him some anonymous texts and see if he'd be interested in me!

Friend: "Oh my God, that's so clever! He'd be crazy not to go out with you anyway, that's so romantic"

Girl: "Yeah i know. Oh, and you'll never guess what happened today. You know that ugly guy who fancies me? Well......... He said HELLO to me today as I walked past him"

Friend: "OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT A STALKER!!!!!!!!"

MadYaker · 05-03-2012 10:08pm

Thats a bit of an exaggeration. I've never really had trouble talking to girls, although a lot of people say I don't know when to shut the f*ck up! Irish girls always seems fairly down to earth. Certain other nationalities are much less so....

py2006 · 05-03-2012 10:21pm

MrStuffins wrote: »

Girl: "Yeah i know. Oh, and you'll never guess what happened today. You know that ugly guy who fancies me? Well......... He said HELLO to me today as I walked past him"

Friend: "OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT A STALKER!!!!!!!!"

haha, no at that stage he is just a "creep". The next phase is the stalker one.

beks101 · 05-03-2012 10:31pm

MrStuffins wrote: »

Girl: "Hey, you know that good looking guy? Well I got his number and I rang him last night at 3am on a private number and just kept quiet! When he answered it sounded like he was alone so he must be single! But i wasn't sure so I found out where he lived and went around to his house to see if there was more than one car outside but there wasn't!

So then I found out where he worked and turned up outside his job as he left to try and strike up a conversation with him but I missed him. Perhaps i'll just send him some anonymous texts and see if he'd be interested in me!

Friend: "Oh my God, that's so clever! He'd be crazy not to go out with you anyway, that's so romantic"

I don't know a single Irish girl who carries on like this.

Sky King · 05-03-2012 10:33pm

What you mean they all have boyfriends?

Daisies · 05-03-2012 10:34pm

I'd like to think I'd be flattered and would accept but in reality I would probably panic and say no.

Now if it was someone who I saw regularly on the street/ where I get my coffee etc I'd be much more open to it.

Joe10000 · 05-03-2012 10:44pm

As my missus always says to questions like this, "it depends what they look like".

Well dressed good looking bloke will give the girl a nice story to tell and she may even have said yes, beardy unkempt bloke will have her calling 999.

seenitall · 05-03-2012 10:45pm

Deleted User wrote: »

What is it that makes us like that though? I mean, it's only recently that online dating has become somewhat acceptable over here. What makes us so afraid of meeting people in somewhat unconventional means?

The downside of living in a still fairly traditional society where a lot of the “proper ways of doing things" are still hanging on for dear life, and consequently the mindset is difficult to shift to a new approach (that's just my opinion as an outsider.)

Happened to me in Ireland a few times, though, most memorably when I was approached by a guy on a street while I was reading a notice in a shop window. He was mumbling something about whatever I was reading about, seemed like a nice enough guy. (I have to add a caveat here that he has a very laid-back and non-threatening stance/body language, which must have swayed me toward saying yes to going to cinema with him that evening! :eek:).

Anyway, roll on 10 years and he is a valued friend and vice versa, I think!

(However, and probably what you are wondering, it never went any further than friendship.

)

It takes cojones to do that in Ireland IMO, so fair play if you do it, BABM.

MrStuffins · 05-03-2012 10:45pm

beks101 wrote: »

I don't know a single Irish girl who carries on like this.

Lucky you!

Also, I was exaggerating a bit but you get the idea.

Sarn · 05-03-2012 11:16pm

MadYaker wrote: »

Seems strange that it would scare irish girls considering plenty are quite happy to have sex with some lad they met for the first time in a club 2 hours beforehand...

I think it comes down to the state of mind that a person is in when they're approached. In a club, the thought that you could end up with someone at the end of the night is there, whereas on the street you could be thinking about what you need to pick up in the shops or that you're running late for work. Being asked out a million miles away. In America, at least the expectation that this might happen is there.

Being approached while preoccupied probably throws most people, especially when it's not really a done thing here. On the other hand, if you catch someone at the right moment, while they're having a coffee at the table next to you, chances would probably be a little bit better.

southernstar · 06-03-2012 12:07am

one time a friend of mine went up and gave his business card to this hot asian girl in front of a group of us.

Later on one of the lads got his wife to call him - pretending to be her. This escalated and continued all night. At one point I was in the cubicle in a pub calling him ( in a ridiculous falsetto Vietnamese accent) and he was ten foot away through the bathroom door ernestly trying to get her to meet. We had him going from pub to pub - going up to every asian chick in every pub we went to.

He only copped it when we asked him to go to Wagammama around 2 am.

jeep37 · 06-03-2012 5:14am

If you're a 'hot' guy, you'll be seen as courageous and romantic. If you're around average-looking or worse, CREEP.

MadYaker wrote: »

Irish girls always seems fairly down to earth. Certain other nationalities are much less so....

Have you ingested psychedelic substances or are you a woman in disguise?

jill_valentine · 06-03-2012 5:26am

I've had this happen to me, and wasn't terribly impressed. The only guys I've ever seen try it came across as a bit... odd, independently of their approach, and didn't take the hint. It felt kind of presumptuous and made me uncomfortable. I don't want to have to be put on the spot, and I hate having to think of a polite way to give somebody the brush off when I'm just walking down the street.

Say what you will about the traditional Irish shift-in-the-incredibly-grim-hotel-nightclub, but I absolutely hate the transactional American approach to "dating", and I'd hate to see it catch on here.

jeep37 · 06-03-2012 5:47am

jill_valentine wrote: »

Say what you will about the traditional Irish shift-in-the-incredibly-grim-hotel-nightclub, but I absolutely hate the transactional American approach to "dating", and I'd hate to see it catch on here.

So you approve of sticking with the current situation in Ireland where Irish women go to nightclubs and "shift" the top 10%-20% of most physically attractive males in society, rather than bringing in a scenario where the norm is for two people to go out and actually communicate to get to know eachother better?

eire-kp · 06-03-2012 11:15am

Yes tried this once and it worked not exactly in the steet but something similar.
I was delivering some stuff with a truck a while ago and was absolutely lost in the middle of nowhere eventually came to the nearest town and called into a petrol station, The shop was empty so ended up talking to the girl at the counter for a minute while getting directions off her,

Got her number as I was leaving with the classic "any chance of your number in case I get lost again"

..Made my day

Ended up texting for a while but didn't meet up as we lived a big distance from each other.

Never tried anything like it since.

MadYaker · 06-03-2012 11:29am

jeep37 wrote: »

Have you ingested psychedelic substances or are you a woman in disguise?

No but I do have adequate communication skills and I don't wet myself with fear every time a girl says hello.

jeep37 wrote: »

So you approve of sticking with the current situation in Ireland where Irish women go to nightclubs and "shift" the top 10%-20% of most physically attractive males in society, rather than bringing in a scenario where the norm is for two people to go out and actually communicate to get to know eachother better?

I don't know where you're from but thats not the only way it happens here. At least not in my experience anyway. Surely the only time you have an opportunity to meet women isn't in nightclubs when everyone is wasted?

grames_bond · 06-03-2012 11:44am

Happened me, I was walking to work and would pass the same girl twice a day - eventually (when we were about to move office) I bit the bullet and stopped her, thought what have I got to lose! Best decision I ever made as the girl is an absolute legend, and I am f*cking delighted I stopped her!

newbee22 · 06-03-2012 1:19pm

Happened me once before while I was working, this guy was a regular customer and asked me out and gave me his number. To be honest I was a bit freaked out because I was only 18 at the time. Now as a wise 24 year old (:P) I think I'd be flattered. Us Irish are a bit too shy I think, the only way most of us have confidence to approach people we fancy is if we're off our faces in a pub/nightclub!

Tim the Enchanter · 06-03-2012 1:32pm

A friend of mine done this. He approached a girl looking a bit lost in the street. It turned out she was a Canadian tourist and was looking for a local hotel. Now this hotel was only around the corner but my buddy chanced his arm and said he would show her the way, she agreed and went with him, he walked all over town with her and about an hour later arrived at her hotel. He's now married to this girl and living in Canada.

Galvasean · 06-03-2012 1:55pm

Pretty girls are always doing this to me in the street.
And boys too.
Damn Chuggers :mad:

TerrorFirmer · 06-03-2012 2:16pm

jeep37 wrote: »

So you approve of sticking with the current situation in Ireland where Irish women go to nightclubs and "shift" the top 10%-20% of most physically attractive males in society, rather than bringing in a scenario where the norm is for two people to go out and actually communicate to get to know eachother better?

I don't know what planet you live on but that's some creation of the imagination...specifically yours.

Hazys · 06-03-2012 4:03pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CrQQGMvA8g

I think these guys’ videos are pretty hilarious just to watch for entertainment purposes.

I think they prove it doesn’t really matter what you say as long as you are confident as fcuk and throw in a bit of wit and humour. Confidence and humour seem to be way more important than looks to women.

Most girls seem to be completely in shock when a lad comes out of the blue and starts talking to her on the street. But i presume the majority of them kinda like their daily routine to be broken up with a bit of romance, even if they are not really interested in the guy.

The guys seem pretty successful but I guess they only show the parts where they get on well with the girl, i'd say the majority of the time they get rejected and look like a psycho...but i guess its a numbers game literally.

The problem for most guys is...how the fcuk do you become that confident

Elmer Blooker · 06-03-2012 4:06pm

jeep37 wrote: »

If you're a 'hot' guy, you'll be seen as courageous and romantic. If you're around average-looking or worse, CREEP.

It's the opposite if you ask me.
Good looking guy: "who does he think he is, god's gift to women?" ....... "a player" ....... "thinks he can get any woman!"

Average guy" "a bit of a rogue"....... a jack-the-lad ..... a bad boy... a chancer.

I think women would have a sneaky admiration for mr average.

Apolloyon · 06-03-2012 4:09pm

I think in Ireland, we've very much bound to what is socially acceptable and even when those goalposts move with each generation. We generally try to keep as close as possible to what is the current norm.

Although to be fair, speaking as a man (I think that's the first time in my life, I've used that phrase. It sounds so weird. But I digress!), I don't know how I'd react if a woman did come up to me out of the blue and asked me out so directly. I think I would be bewildered (obviously!) and I think wouldn't know how to react either. Someone mentioned earlier that you might not be in the right headspace for such a situation whereas in fiction, the person normally is and romance...or hilarity ensues.

As for the comparison between nightclubs. I suppose it is a little contradictory. People often meet strangers there and bring them home. But a stranger on the street wants your number...no way! I think again, it's the headspace issue again. People in the nightclubs can be in the right frame of mind to meet someone. So do we need to change our way of thinking and open ourselves up to new opportunities? Or do we leave well enough alone?

Malari · 06-03-2012 4:12pm

Actually this is what would spring to mind if someone approached me on the street - that it was being filmed for some sort of "entertainment" or it was being done for a dare and I'd be looking for a couple of his mates standing a short distance away, giggling. :rolleyes: Maybe I'm cynical. And no I didn't meet any of my previous boyfriends while utterly scutterly in a nightclub.

Red Hand · 06-03-2012 6:20pm

Yeah, I kind of tried it once with a girl who worked in a pharmacy who seemed nice and was quite pretty. Bit the bullet and asked her for a coffee after making horrendous, absolutely horrendous small talk.:D

She politely declined, and laughed off the embarressment. And she didn't pepper spray me which is always nice.:)

06-03-2012 6:34pm

Red Hand wrote: »

Yeah, I kind of tried it once with a girl who worked in a pharmacy who seemed nice and was quite pretty. Bit the bullet and asked her for a coffee after making horrendous, absolutely horrendous small talk.:D

She politely declined, and laughed off the embarressment. And she didn't pepper spray me which is always nice.:)

Wow, taking your chances doing it in a pharmacy. Lord knows what prescriptions she might have been getting that could add to the embarrassment.

Pembily · 06-03-2012 6:41pm

Hazys wrote: »

The problem for most guys is...how the fcuk do you become that confident

It's more an act. I know a lot of guys who act that confident but truly aren't! If you act confident no one will know you're not.

06-03-2012 6:43pm

Pembily wrote: »

It's more an act. I know a lot of guys who act that confident but truly aren't! If you act confident no one will know you're not.

Plus they are with friends and know they are being filmed - I'm presuming they knew the camera man. Take away the camera, take away the friends and put them somewhere they're not familiar, would they be as confident?

Red Hand · 06-03-2012 6:54pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Wow, taking your chances doing it in a pharmacy. Lord knows what prescriptions she might have been getting that could add to the embarrassment.

I left the rash cream prescription for another pharmacy and just bought something neutral at her's.:D

Daisies · 06-03-2012 6:59pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Plus they are with friends and know they are being filmed - I'm presuming they knew the camera man. Take away the camera, take away the friends and put them somewhere they're not familiar, would they be as confident?

My guess is nowhere near as confident!

Hazys · 06-03-2012 7:04pm

Pembily wrote: »

It's more an act. I know a lot of guys who act that confident but truly aren't! If you act confident no one will know you're not.

Fake it, till you make it

Its true a lot of people act 'confident' as a defense mechanism to cover up their insecurities and they are usually the ones who make up ridiculous stories to big themselves up, it is just an act and if you get caught up in it, you'll believe they are actually naturally confident.

I dont believe there is anybody in the world without some level of insecurity, but there are some who are less insecure than others and most likely to be more naturally confident.

Approaching a Girl in the Street

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