Male Friends

gmac102 · 08-09-2011 3:57pm #1

How do you make more Male friends? Not for romance purposes just because I get along better with men! I find them easier to be around mostly and much more fun.

ToxicPaddy · 08-09-2011 4:01pm

gmac102 wrote: »

How do you make more Male friends? Not for romance purposes just because I get along better with men! I find them easier to be around mostly and much more fun.

Join a club, whether it be a sports club, society etc.. You find like minded individuals who you have something in common with.

Sky King · 08-09-2011 6:04pm

Have in interest in typical male things:

Soccer, motor racing, UFC, Gadgets....

Just realised I am not into any of those things... am I a woman?:eek:

Artur Foden · 08-09-2011 6:08pm

Yeh there are plenty of hobbies you could do, doesn't have to be a manly man hobby either, maybe a walking group?

gmac102 · 08-09-2011 6:10pm

LMAO I said I wanted to make male friends not take up a hobby! Maybe I should watch footie in the pub and shout at the telly!!!

Altho I am taking up target shooting as a hobby from Sundayish!

Sky King · 08-09-2011 6:11pm

I love target shooting.

You'll make man friends doing that... maybe rotund ones in their 40's but... yea.

gmac102 · 08-09-2011 6:14pm

Sky King wrote: »

I love target shooting.

You'll make man friends doing that... maybe rotund ones in their 40's but... yea.

I love it to! Its pretty cool

Hey if they're cool its ok with me

LeeHoffmann · 09-09-2011 1:54pm

How do you make more Male friends? Not for romance purposes just because I get along better with men! I find them easier to be around mostly and much more fun

If you're female, be aware that you're going to get treated differently by most of them at the start - e.g. lots of them will think they need to soften their language or not talk about sex with you, you'll probably get 'preferential' treatment too - such as they'll give up their chair for you for no reason etc. However, how do you make friends with them?? They're everywhere - just talk to them. Have a bit of banter and joke around. That usually works

*weird body language tip: men tend to stand beside each other more than women (i.e. less face to face) and don't make steady eye contact as much as women.

* yes these are generalisations but that's what body language is based on. Weirdest advice I've ever given

Fentdog84 · 13-09-2011 11:19pm

Just be cool but humble. Dont be bitchy, argumentitive or dominating, guys hate that.

FetchTheGin · 14-09-2011 9:48am

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

If you're female, be aware that you're going to get treated differently by most of them at the start - e.g. lots of them will think they need to soften their language or not talk about sex with you, you'll probably get 'preferential' treatment too - such as they'll give up their chair for you for no reason etc.

I have never seen this. What century are you living in?

LeeHoffmann · 14-09-2011 10:12am

unfortunately lots of guys I know are like this. Drives me mad!

Alopex · 14-09-2011 12:19pm

If you're female don't flirt with them, and if not interested in a relationship make that clear from the start. IF you do flirt or don't make it clear it can end in utter disaster.

gmac102 · 14-09-2011 9:19pm

Alopex wrote: »

If you're female don't flirt with them, and if not interested in a relationship make that clear from the start. IF you do flirt or don't make it clear it can end in utter disaster.

eh i flirt with everyone, i dont even know im doing it. it doesnt matter what age r gender either

That_Guy · 15-09-2011 12:20am

Come to a boards beers. That'll get ya started.

the_syco · 15-09-2011 12:54am

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

unfortunately lots of guys I know are like this. Drives me mad!

Your seen as a woman. If you're seen as a tomboy, or "one of the lads", you'll get treated "normally". You may need to drink more?

LeeHoffmann · 15-09-2011 10:26am

Your seen as a woman. If you're seen as a tomboy, or "one of the lads", you'll get treated "normally". You may need to drink more?

Assumption overload! :pac: :pac:

I am seen as a woman. Therefore, a lot of men expect me to be gentler, more delicate, less vulgar. Hence, the 'preferential' treatment at first.

Dravokivich · 15-09-2011 10:33am

He didn't say you weren't

He was comparing the difference between a "Lady" and a "Laddette."

LeeHoffmann · 15-09-2011 10:42am

He didn't say I wasn't what?

Maybe I read that wrong, but I saw that as assuming that I'm not seen as a tomboy/one of the lads and that I don't drink much.

There are other roles between lady and laddette I hope

gmac102 · 15-09-2011 3:52pm

That_Guy wrote: »

Come to a boards beers. That'll get ya started.

on my own, yikes!!!

the_syco · 16-09-2011 2:48am

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

be aware that you're going to get treated differently by most of them at the start

FetchTheGin wrote: »

I have never seen this. What century are you living in?

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

unfortunately lots of guys I know are like this. Drives me mad!

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

I saw that as assuming that I'm not seen as a tomboy/one of the lads and that I don't drink much.

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

I am seen as a woman. Therefore, a lot of men expect me to be gentler, more delicate, less vulgar.

Incorrect. You're seen as a lady, and thus treated like a delicate flower. It's usually how you carry yourself that dictates this. I'm not saying that this is a bad thing; this is how most men have been programmed to treat a lady.

Georgina/George from the Famous Five would be classed as a tomboy and would be treated as a ladette from the get go.

I see nothing wrong with lads seeing a woman as a lady, as they'll help her out. A "ladette" won't receive (nor often take) as much help.

LeeHoffmann · 16-09-2011 9:37am

With respect, Mr Syco, it's a little absurd for you to assume I carry myself like a lady seeing as you've never met me. You are talking through your hat. You are suggesting that I act like a delicate little flower and therefore I deserve that treatment. I only wish you knew how wrong you were.

Were the famous five not children? And isn't 'ladette' a fairly derogatory term? Maybe you attach a different meaning to it. In my part of the country, it's the female equivalent of 'scumbag' - i.e. a woman with no class

Your dichotomy of 'delicate little lady flower' and 'ladette' is a false one. Do you not see that the vast majority of women don't fit into either of these categories?

Anyway, I think we are derailing the thread.

aujopimur · 16-09-2011 9:42am

If you buy a nice classic car I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

gmac102 · 16-09-2011 9:49am

aujopimur wrote: »

If you buy a nice classic car I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

Then maybe we can race them :P

astonaidan · 16-09-2011 9:59am

If Your a lad, Join a club soccer, gaa, darts, poker could be anything really

If Your a girl well coming from where I live the only way girls seem to become friends with lads is on a night out or through mutal friends which isnt really helpful

16-09-2011 10:03am

gmac102 wrote: »

How do you make more Male friends? Not for romance purposes just because I get along better with men! I find them easier to be around mostly and much more fun.

I give much the same advice for this question as I do for people looking for a partner on the Relationship Advice forum here. The best way to meet someone is to stop trying.

Instead invest yourself in the things you enjoy, most especially the social aspects of those things. There are few hobbies that do not have some social aspect. If music is your hobby find jamming sessions, if learning a language is your hobby find conversation groups. Few hobbies can not be explored socially.

Things like friends, partners, drinking buddies and so on then sort of work themselves out without you even trying. You will be just doing your thing and you will hear, or maybe you will say yourself "who is up for drinks when we are done here?" and it will go from there.

G-Money · 16-09-2011 10:12am

Alopex wrote: »

If you're female don't flirt with them, and if not interested in a relationship make that clear from the start. IF you do flirt or don't make it clear it can end in utter disaster.

+ about a billion

There's nothing more annoying that a girl who's all flirty then you find out she's not interested for whatever reason. To be honest I'm sceptical when people say they are flirts and don't realise it etc. If you don't want people to get the wrong idea, don't flirt with them. It's pretty easy not to flirt with someone. It's not like it's something impossible like sneezing with your eyes open.

gmac102 · 16-09-2011 10:22am

G-Money wrote: »

+ about a billion

There's nothing more annoying that a girl who's all flirty then you find out she's not interested for whatever reason. To be honest I'm sceptical when people say they are flirts and don't realise it etc. If you don't want people to get the wrong idea, don't flirt with them. It's pretty easy not to flirt with someone. It's not like it's something impossible like sneezing with your eyes open.

Im taken as I am or not at all, as I said previous Im unaware Im doing it, I dont limit it to men either.

And in your experience its easy not to flirt with someone because Im sure your aware your doing it.

G-Money · 16-09-2011 10:26am

gmac102 wrote: »

Im taken as I am or not at all, as I said previous Im unaware Im doing it, I dont limit it to men either.

And in your experience its easy not to flirt with someone because Im sure your aware your doing it.

Well fair enough, but you must have some awareness of it in order to say you are doing it and not knowing.

Anyway, that's not the point of the thread. I guess just try out some clubs, and stuff that men are interested in. I think there's been some good advice in previous replies.

gmac102 · 16-09-2011 2:58pm

G-Money wrote: »

Well fair enough, but you must have some awareness of it in order to say you are doing it and not knowing.

People say it to me

Anyway, that's not the point of the thread. I guess just try out some clubs, and stuff that men are interested in. I think there's been some good advice in previous replies.

And your right it isnt the point of the thread, thanks for your input. There is some great advice

Wompa1 · 17-09-2011 12:14am

You have to change your sense of humor around ladies otherwise you could be done for some sort of harassment.

G-Money · 17-09-2011 10:24am

Wompa1 wrote: »

You have to change your sense of humor around ladies otherwise you could be done for some sort of harassment.

True, I definitely tone down my language and what I say when women are around.

Pepe LeFrits · 17-09-2011 8:04pm

I think I might need to start going on man-dates...

PK2008 · 17-09-2011 8:59pm

A woman trying to be 'one of the lads' is embarrassing for all concerned.

One of the most common things I hear from women is "I'm not like other women, I have more in common with lads"....

No. You don't.

G-Money · 17-09-2011 9:28pm

A piece of advice. There's nothing more boring than a girl talking about some other fella she fancies. So if you want to become friendly with guys, don't be talking about some other guy you fancy or who came onto you or whatever. That talk is meant for your female friends :pac:

MIN2511 · 17-09-2011 11:32pm

PK2008 wrote: »

A woman trying to be 'one of the lads' is embarrassing for all concerned.

One of the most common things I hear from women is "I'm not like other women, I have more in common with lads"....

No. You don't.

That's unfair generalisation; I'm female and have more male friends than I have female friends.

Malari · 18-09-2011 9:04am

PK2008 wrote: »

A woman trying to be 'one of the lads' is embarrassing for all concerned.

One of the most common things I hear from women is "I'm not like other women, I have more in common with lads"....

No. You don't.

You realise when girls say this they are talking in general about interests, likes and dislikes, sense of humour, etc, and not the ability to pee standing up and the possession of facial hair? ;-)

paulmclaughlin · 18-09-2011 9:11am

Malari wrote: »

You realise when girls say this they are talking in general about interests, likes and dislikes, sense of humour, etc, and not the ability to pee standing up and the possession of facial hair? ;-)

Some women have facial hair.

Malari · 18-09-2011 9:36am

paulmclaughlin wrote: »

Some women have facial hair.

Well, there! They have more in common than you think ;-)

Kash · 18-09-2011 10:38am

PK2008 wrote: »

A woman trying to be 'one of the lads' is embarrassing for all concerned.

One of the most common things I hear from women is "I'm not like other women, I have more in common with lads"....

No. You don't.

I think women who tend to say this are actually trying to say that they are not a girly-girl, and prefer the company of men. I am not 'one of the lads' but I do find it a lot easier to spend time with them than with my girlfriends. It tends to be way more chilled and require far less dancing on eggshells or patience. So it's easy on both sides, and that makes it comfortable. But although I share a lot of interests with the guys (games and gadgets and a solid plan for the eventual zombie invasion) I would consider myself very, very female, and treasure my few girlfriends. We just get on better in smaller doses

But for the OP, I've always had more guy friends than girls... I don't have any technique for it other than to make them laugh and occasionally make them food, don't play games and don't expect them to read your mind.

gmac102 · 18-09-2011 9:24pm

PK2008 wrote: »

A woman trying to be 'one of the lads' is embarrassing for all concerned.

One of the most common things I hear from women is "I'm not like other women, I have more in common with lads"....

No. You don't.

That made me laugh, tunnel vision.

I am a not trying to be one of the lads, nor do I want to be. I am a girly girly, does this mean I cant have more male friends? I think not.

Otis Driftwood · 18-09-2011 9:42pm

PK2008 wrote: »

A woman trying to be 'one of the lads' is embarrassing for all concerned.

One of the most common things I hear from women is "I'm not like other women, I have more in common with lads"....

No. You don't.

What constitutes trying to be "one of the lads"?

I have a couple of female friends that I would consider to be one of the lads in that I can say pretty much anything to them and them me or that we have a similar sense of humour.None of them try to fit themselves into that bracket,its just who they are and why Im friends with them in the first instance.

That_Guy · 20-09-2011 12:22pm

gmac102 wrote: »

on my own, yikes!!!

I've been to all boards beers by myself. Decided to just take a chance and I've met some great people.

AstonMartin · 20-09-2011 1:57pm

How do we make more female friends?

have a sense of humour, being witty is the best way to get on with the lads. If you score any of them you will be kept at a distance by the other lads in that group.

pub is not the way, they will try to score you or move on.

get involved in a group hobby and take it easy but figure out a way to make it clear to a lad that spending time with you is not going to lead to a shag.

Alopex · 20-09-2011 2:32pm

g mac wrote:

eh i flirt with everyone, i dont even know im doing it. it doesnt matter what age r gender either

Well ask yourself why you're doing it. If you continue to flirt with male friends I can assure you some of them will get the wrong impression and will end up hating you.

Rossin · 20-09-2011 2:36pm

nah i disagree with that, i have a female friend that does the same, sure you'd have to be blind to not see thats just how she is, it's part of what makes her so much fun in the first place

A Primal Nut · 20-09-2011 2:36pm

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

If you're female, be aware that you're going to get treated differently by most of them at the start - e.g. lots of them will think they need to soften their language or not talk about sex with you, you'll probably get 'preferential' treatment too - such as they'll give up their chair for you for no reason etc. [/SIZE]

Well some girls will get offended or uncomfortable if guys talk the same way as they talk amongst themselves. So some guys might wait till they really know the girl before they make toilet humour jokes, etc.

I remember one girl saying that she just wanted to be one of the lads, so one of my friends starting talking about his most recent trip to the toilet. She soon changed her mind.

paulmclaughlin · 20-09-2011 10:39pm

Rossin wrote: »

nah i disagree with that, i have a female friend that does the same, sure you'd have to be blind to not see thats just how she is, it's part of what makes her so much fun in the first place

Same as myself. As long as you both know the score, flirting is harmless.

gmac102 · 20-09-2011 11:58pm

paulmclaughlin wrote: »

Same as myself. As long as you both know the score, flirting is harmless.

Thank you both of you

Kanoe · 22-09-2011 2:00pm

I just get talking to the men in the groups more than the women. Being avid coffee drinkers I get to bump into them during the day in the local for a cup and they're always good for a friendly chat and every now and again (especially at the weekends) it leads to a decent night out. I work with a lad and we often go together to wherever before or after work and up meeting mutual friends that are a mix of both but I still end up mostly in the boys corner. I think at this stage I need a decent lady friend.

Alopex · 23-09-2011 6:10pm

Rossin wrote: »

nah i disagree with that, i have a female friend that does the same, sure you'd have to be blind to not see thats just how she is, it's part of what makes her so much fun in the first place

paulmclaughlin wrote: »

Same as myself. As long as you both know the score, flirting is harmless.

The problem is not all guys will know whats going on.

I have 2 friends who pulls the "its just my personality" line, I don't believe them, I think they just likes flirting and the reaction, but the point is both of them have a mile long queue of men who they became close friends with, and later fell out with because of this.

THey both flirt with me sometimes. I find it a bit pathetic but I don't like them in that way so I don't particularly care.

They're both the type of girls who say they prefer to have male friends. Seems to be a pattern actually

G-Money · 23-09-2011 9:52pm

I agree in that I think people know what they are doing, they just sometimes like to pretend they don't.

Anyway if you are looking to make guys friends, here are some things to avoid. Don't start talking about relationships, feelings, worrying that you might be pregnant, guys you like and guys you want to hook up with. Those last three are especially uninteresting to guys unless the we are the guy in question. Save those topics for your female friends. Nothing puts me to sleep faster than a girl talking about that stuff.

We also don't believe in going for dinner for every occasion, at least I don't. I never quite understood the automatic reflex women have that says "lets go to dinner" for every social occasion.

Male Friends

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