Trans Advice - Question and Concerns

WantToBeRose · 26-01-2012 9:36pm

It's been awhile since I posted here so I thought I'd give a little update.

Went to another appointment in Loughlinstown last week and it seems things are actually going to start rolling from now on. I spoke to Dr O'Shea this time. I have some issues with my iron levels which showed up in my last blood test and again in my most recent one. Hemochromatosis to be exact. It's also affected my liver so I'm going to have to get a scan on that. I have three months to get all that sorted until my next appointment which will include seeing their resident Psycologist, and if he gives the go ahead I'll get my hormones the same day.

Can anyone give me any advice on what I can use these next three months for to prepare for transition? I haven't told anyone about my little secret yet but I do have a friend I feel I can trust. So that might happen soon enough. I'm gradually building confidence to tell my parents, my mother especially but it will be awhile before I do.

Also, a question about Laser Hair Removal. I went to a Therapie clinic yesterday and the woman brought me in to check out if I'm suitable for it. I'm a redhead and have some very fair body hair. She looked at my facial hair and said I'm on the border of being able to be treated, she said it would get rid of the majority of the hair but some would remain since my testosterone would produce more. She explained how in a woman it's alot easier to get rid of it with little maintanence because of the estrogen. So this got me wondering. Would I be better off waiting until I get hormones before starting Laser Hair Removel or should I go ahead and start it anyway? It would take 6 months before I'd be clear of most of the hair. Or should I explain my situation to the woman and see what she thinks?

Any replies would be appreciated

RRJ.

deirdre_dub · 27-01-2012 11:40am

WantToBeRose wrote: »

Can anyone give me any advice on what I can use these next three months for to prepare for transition? I haven't told anyone about my little secret yet but I do have a friend I feel I can trust. So that might happen soon enough. I'm gradually building confidence to tell my parents, my mother especially but it will be awhile before I do.

It's hard to give advice, as everyone's situation and everyone's needs are different. But it sounds like you are on a good track.

Also, a question about Laser Hair Removal. I went to a Therapie clinic yesterday and the woman brought me in to check out if I'm suitable for it. I'm a redhead and have some very fair body hair. She looked at my facial hair and said I'm on the border of being able to be treated, she said it would get rid of the majority of the hair but some would remain since my testosterone would produce more. She explained how in a woman it's alot easier to get rid of it with little maintanence because of the estrogen. So this got me wondering. Would I be better off waiting until I get hormones before starting Laser Hair Removel or should I go ahead and start it anyway? It would take 6 months before I'd be clear of most of the hair. Or should I explain my situation to the woman and see what she thinks?

Your testosterone levels should be near zero within a few months of starting HRT.

I'd explain your situation to the therapist. They probably are already treating trans women. I went to a Therapie clinic for my hair removal, and they have been great with me.

For what it's worth, I started hair removal before I started HRT. However, my hair was quite dark...

Good luck!

hare05 · 27-01-2012 3:14pm

Anyone have experience with Bernie Fitzgerald? (Johnstown)

WantToBeRose · 27-01-2012 8:40pm

Thanks Deirdre!
I'll go ahead and start Laser treatment then. At least it will be the start of my phsyical transition!:D

deirdre_dub · 27-01-2012 9:39pm

hare05 wrote: »

Anyone have experience with Bernie Fitzgerald? (Johnstown)

I've met her on a few occassions. She's quite well versed in trans issues. As for how she is as a therapist - I've only had one, short, informal session with her, and it was quite good.

However, therapists are always a your-milage-may-vary thing. If you don't personally 'click' with a therapist, then it isn't going to work.

hare05 · 27-01-2012 9:57pm

deirdre_dub wrote: »

I've met her on a few occassions. She's quite well versed in trans issues. As for how she is as a therapist - I've only had one, short, informal session with her, and it was quite good.

However, therapists are always a your-milage-may-vary thing. If you don't personally 'click' with a therapist, then it isn't going to work.

Had one session with her too, she was friendly but she seemed very focused on the 'clothing' aspect of things. Kept talking about fake boob inserts / etc

deirdre_dub · 28-01-2012 1:05am

hare05 wrote: »

Had one session with her too, she was friendly but she seemed very focused on the 'clothing' aspect of things. Kept talking about fake boob inserts / etc

One thing that I've noticed about the various therapists I've been with - a bad dynamic tends to be set up whereby I feel that the therapist is "the expert", and so when they are talking about something, I tend to believe that the reason must be because "it needs to be talked about".

The truth is that the thing that needs to be talked about in a session is the thing that you need to talk about. If the session has gone off on a complete tangent, and there is a different subject you need to see addressed, speak up - you are the expert, not your therapist. If you can't steer the session in the general direction you need, then there may be something fundamentally wrong with the relationship somewhere.

Not saying that is what happened with you, Hare, but I know it is something that has often happened with me. It's only recently that I've become good at saying to my therapist - "hang on - what about this ...".

Louisevb · 29-01-2012 3:57am

@wantoberose
Hair removal works better during hormone treatment... I'd wait for the hormones to kick in first before starting any kind of lazer hair removal... Even yet it is expensive and the testerone will fight it all the way. Save your money

Secondly therapists or counsellors who are trained in gender issues are thin on the ground. If you go to one they should be listening to you. They should not be leading the conversation and taking you to places where they want to go... But they should suggest areas that you want to look at but not give advice. It's afine line. Above all they should be a listener

LegacyUser · 29-01-2012 10:18am

Bernie is newly qualified and from meeting her socially wasn't all that impressed. I think she has a trans child though and I don't doubt that her intentions are good. She referred to me as pretty and I felt it was a bit stereotypical.

WantToBeRose · 01-02-2012 10:10pm

Louisevb wrote: »

@wantoberose
Hair removal works better during hormone treatment... I'd wait for the hormones to kick in first before starting any kind of lazer hair removal... Even yet it is expensive and the testerone will fight it all the way. Save your money

Funny you should say that. My consultation didn't go the way I wanted it to. It turns out that since I have red hair, my facial hair wouldn't be able to be lasered, it would be pointless. She said that it wouldn't be worth getting done. I just blurted out then that I was starting HRT in a few months and asked if it would work then and she said that if I come back once I start it she'll see if there's any difference.

I'm so scared now that I might not be able get rid of my facial hair. I'll have to be the bearded lady

haha

L.Jenkins · 01-02-2012 10:48pm

Someone else may know better, but you could always try electrolysis.

WantToBeRose · 17-02-2012 12:04am

Quick question regarding legal documents.

Is there anything I should be looking to change or apply for before I begin transition? Or is it alright to wait until I choose to live full time, or near it?

deirdre_dub · 17-02-2012 12:25am

WantToBeRose wrote: »

Quick question regarding legal documents.

Is there anything I should be looking to change or apply for before I begin transition? Or is it alright to wait until I choose to live full time, or near it?

I'd leave the legal side of it alone until you are ready to go full-time. Once you do your deed poll, for instance, it becomes illegal for you to use your male name. So things could get awkward really quickly if you aren't ready to go full-time.

WantToBeRose · 19-02-2012 9:11pm

Thanks again Deirdre. Just wanted to see if there was anything I could be doing. So tired of waiting at this point.

L.Jenkins · 19-02-2012 9:12pm

WantToBeRose wrote: »

Thanks again Deirdre. Just wanted to see if there was anything I could be doing. So tired of waiting at this point.

I understand how you feel sweetie.

deirdre_dub · 20-02-2012 3:02am

WantToBeRose wrote: »

Thanks again Deirdre. Just wanted to see if there was anything I could be doing. So tired of waiting at this point.

There is tons to do (though I don't know how much of it you need to do, or how much of it even interests you).

Some of the stuff I certainly needed to do was -

- learn how to dress myself (!)
- learn about makeup
- practice my voice
- gain confidence presenting as female in public
- learn how to take the male swagger out of my walk
- find what colour goes well in my hair
- research things like deed polls, hormones, blood test results, surgeries etc

Having said that, I understand your frustration. Hang in there.

LegacyUser · 27-03-2012 1:38pm

Hiya all, *waves* ^^

Was wondering if anyone could inform me as to how to contact Prof. O' Shea's office? I have an appointment with him next week (1st time) but am starting to worry that my blood test results never reached him. The appointment letter I received lists a telephone number for the appointments desk, so I'm just wondering if thats the one to ring to find out if they have my results or if theres another number?

Would rather not show up for my 1st appointment knowing he should have my blood test results only to find out he doesn't and having to wait however many weeks/months for the next appointment.

(Also to anyone curious, if anyone remembers ;b, I saw Dr. Kelly without incident and got my letter after three sessions.

)

L.Jenkins · 27-03-2012 7:20pm

Anxious Caller wrote: »

Hiya all, *waves* ^^

Was wondering if anyone could inform me as to how to contact Prof. O' Shea's office? I have an appointment with him next week (1st time) but am starting to worry that my blood test results never reached him. The appointment letter I received lists a telephone number for the appointments desk, so I'm just wondering if thats the one to ring to find out if they have my results or if theres another number?

Would rather not show up for my 1st appointment knowing he should have my blood test results only to find out he doesn't and having to wait however many weeks/months for the next appointment.

(Also to anyone curious, if anyone remembers ;b, I saw Dr. Kelly without incident and got my letter after three sessions. )

Hey, I remember you and your anxiety over making the first step and I'm glad to see that things are moving swiftly. From my experience and I was there only a couple of weeks ago, you will be given a brief check up, weight and blood pressure. Then you will see a Junior Doctor, who will give you a tick the box questions to answer. Don't be nervous and bring a book to take your mind off things if it helps

I know I have elaborated, but having received your blood test results or not shouldn't be an issue. (Well for me it wasn't) I was given my prescription with the required blood tests to be taken on the condition that I had them done before I took my first hormone injection. Now I'm just waiting to fill my prescription and it's all fun and games.

If you want to get through to the clinic, it's in the resources thread, but here's the number anyway. 01 211 5066 Do prepare to be fraustrated, but be persistant and don't expect a call back. Just keep ringing until you get through.

Anyway, best of luck with your appointment and don't be nervous.

BlueSmoker · 04-05-2012 1:33am

Hi guys, first off I would like to say no sorry I am about panicing in going to James Kelly, I have now decided to have my 3 or meetings with Dr Kelly, I thought about it long and hard and I believe I need to do it.

Secondly I really admire the courage that you girls have, and I do realise that sometimes necessity can be a badge for courage, but what you girls have posted in this thread, is beyond that I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Ok how can I give advice, in the advice thread to help out, someone said post your experience, might actually help, and after spending the week in reading how honest you guys are and thinking about it, I might start from their (even if ropey) but the first time I tired to explain or even work out who I was, so forgive me.

Here's my story, I was lucky enough, that although gender rules where there, they where allowed to be blured, and that is the first time I became confused when I went to school, I didn't mind hanging out with boys, but I didn't mind hanging out with girls either, infact at home I played with both, I never saw them as gender different, I saw them as my friends, I never got the "yuck" thing boys had for girls, I would have a crush on anyone at any time regardless of gender.

And this is a good enough reason to go and see Dr Kelly.

The I became seven, I still couldn't understand gender difference, but was told to grow up and be a man, "One Statement, not as harsh as it sounds" got me thinking, also alot of doctors and nurses games made me think hold on a sec "I'm confused???" that's it. Exactly what was going through my head, I spent the next 10 years questioning that confusion, the answers ended up in boxes

Am I gay (I had one or two crushes on guys in school)
Am I straight (I had more than two crushes on girls in school)
Am I ????? (I must be a cross dressing idiot "SURPESS, SURPRESS) not unlike a submaire

I Surpressed failing quit badly and read up on as much as I could on the "condition", now I cared and care for people but what that medical encylopedia said just turned my blood to stone (I'm still pretending at this point, I clean up the stores and lose those Physchbabble books in the back (they we're bought by my boss for the student market.)

So I work up the ladder of the bookshop I'm working in for 14 years, my dad died, my mom and most of my family moved to austrialia, I ended up missing them too much, I boworred to much money to chat with them

Ended up 20,000 in debt, from alot of other things that may become clear.

Came home was promoted, company closed within 12 months, (Not my fault, but I made his business more value) None at this point I still have no idea what gender or who I like sexually is (I'm using debt as my escape goat (2002)

After the company was sold and I felt I lost my family again, I stopped trying so hard I'm me and maybe I'm actually a nice person,

My Mom came home from austrialia, with mayor forgetfullness, I've being carering for her ever since.

I still until this week realised what I was glancing against, I'm still waiting to find out what gender I am (but as people have point out , it's really not that important we are ourselfs)

Also the reason I gave the example of my live was so that others could see that we do have a hard time of it (we over think what a cister would do, we do want to be prefected, and we our the ones who wait for the fall. Also allow yourself a clap on the back an kiss of reassurance on the forehead, XX XX. I stilll don't understand gender (yep I understand it as it's put down on paper, and how others understand it) I just never felt it emotionally within my bones, if anyone asked me now or 40 years ago, if I wanted to fit in with the binary system of gender, I am female, rather than male

BlueSmoker · 12-05-2012 2:26am

Ok part two of my experiences, I really don't feel different than any other genders, but I do feel misrepresented by some people, every time they say sir, or "good man" (which happened today through txt). I honestly thought that breaking the news first (eg coming out first) would break the cycle and give them time, of what I was hearing from others experiences.

It just seems to be a phase I'm going through, that every member of my family prays I will change. I spent lunch and a walk with my sister, who appears to want to help, but I keep getting these snide remarks, (like I dye my hair 2 weeks ago and wore it down(I generally wear it in a ponytail)) "what did you do to your hair, have you got split ends" I know my hair can be a fuzz ball, but really and truely it wasn't that night, it was a little fuzzy)

After lunch and a walk today I asked her what she thought of my hair and she said "it actually works really well, (I was trying to hide grey bits) and it looks so shiney and soft (baby oil, Brilliant

)

And we got discussing a couple of other things, I mentioned hormones thearpy, and mentioned how long it might take and wanted to take them sooner than later, her immediate reaction was to call me a "butch female" when taking them, my immediate reaction back at that was "I take a very much smaller shoe size than you"

I told my sister over 20 years ago, and she still thinks I'm a fruit cake, because I was waiting to tell everyone, when I did I was expecting them to say go for it,(they didn't, I image now they were expecting me to do that)

Now I feel like I have to come out again, easier, but at least everyone has begun breathing again, morale of this tale, you may have too come out again, and again, and again, and again. But if someone asks you who you are be proud and just tell them.

I've decided to do that, I always did things arse about tip, even the way I was born ( I was trying to come out side ways)

Poistive: of my experience is that most of my family and friends know, I get great tips off girls

Negative: I'm still considered male and seen as male (wasn't the reaction I was looking for Grrrr) evening by the people who have known for the last 15 years

Cherylwalsh3 · 05-04-2013 11:37pm

I have my appointment on may1st with Dr Canavan,diagnosis from dr kelly and will have my bloods done,should i expect anything to come from it?

Azure_sky · 06-04-2013 2:15pm

Cherylwalsh3 wrote: »

I have my appointment on may1st with Dr Canavan,diagnosis from dr kelly and will have my bloods done,should i expect anything to come from it?

If I remember correctly I think I got my prescription for Zoladex from that appointment. I think it was three or six months and I got my estrodot then.

grimnirr · 26-10-2013 3:15am

Hello *waves* I've just moved to Dublin and I need to find a doctor, nurse, or friendly neighbor to help me with intramuscular testosterone injections, and eventually with a prescription. I have brought my prescription and supplies with me from the US, and I have about six months' worth. I am just really awful at giving myself injections. I can do someone else's just fine, and what I've done for the last several years has mostly been to trade shots with someone. Does anyone have an idea of where I might start looking?

Thanks!

RiseToMe · 24-11-2013 12:08pm

Hey guys,

Just made my first appointment With Dr Kelly. Does anybody know of any trans resources aside from teni?

Thanks

Freiheit · 24-11-2013 12:37pm

In terms of the Internet the best support site I know of is trueselves.com, very heavily moderated so no crap there, there's obviously also support groups, some under the auspices of teni, others not. P.M. if your in need of anything further.
F:)

RiseToMe · 30-11-2013 3:46pm

Folks I'm starting with Dr Kelly in two weeks, just wondering about loughlinstown, I presume this is the only hospital in Dublin dealing with trans folk? The waiting time seems to be three months or over, is this for both medical card and private patients? In terms of privately, is the only option for private (quicker) treatment through the UK?

Freiheit · 30-11-2013 4:51pm

I've not heard of any other Dublin options. Dr Bell operates in Galway, available privately fairly quickly, but not sure of her autonomy over Loughlinstown. I don't if Loughlinstown hold private appointments, does anyone else?. I'd be surprised if there wasn't quicker options in the UK but am only surmising. Hope your ok, F

RiseToMe · 30-11-2013 5:34pm

Thanks for the quick reply, tho I attend uni in the UK several time a year I'm more inclined to start hormones at home as I graduate next June. We just hoping /wondering if there was a way around the time lapse between Dr Kelly diagnosis and seeing o shea for hormones.

YoHiOla · 01-12-2013 4:06pm

Hi, everybody.

This post is a little bit different from the norm here, but I'm looking for help. I'm a writer. I've recently signed with an American literary agent and we go out on submission to publishing houses in January. Which is cool, but I've recently started a new novel. It's Young Adult, and has two main characters: a cis white girl, and a FTM transman. I've done a lot of research, but finding an exact (or reasonably-exact) timeline for Ireland is proving difficult.

If any of you could help me out, that'd be brilliant. Essentially what I'm looking for is the timeline of this sixteen-year-old kid's transition, starting from his coming out. I've read the resource thread here and followed the links but I'm still not 100% on the timeline. I realise everyone is different, but I want to make sure this book is as authentic and realistic as possible. Any help would be appreciated! Thanks! Any questions, message me! Cheers!

RiseToMe · 10-02-2014 11:29am

Hey guys and girls,

So I got my referral from Dr Kelly for loughlinstown and now I need my second referral from a psychiatrist. Dr Kelly did tell me this can be tricky as some psychiatrists haven't dealt with trans folk before and can and do refuse.

So I have a few questions:

Do loughlinstown wait until they have both referrals before giving me an appointment?

Does anybody have a psychiatrist they can recommend that is familiar with trans folk?

I don't have a medical card, is a private psychiatrist acceptable?

Meesared · 10-02-2014 11:39am

RiseToMe wrote: »

Hey guys and girls,

So I got my referral from Dr Kelly for loughlinstown and now I need my second referral from a psychiatrist. Dr Kelly did tell me this can be tricky as some psychiatrists haven't dealt with trans folk before and can and do refuse.

So I have a few questions:

Do loughlinstown wait until they have both referrals before giving me an appointment?

Does anybody have a psychiatrist they can recommend that is familiar with trans folk?

I don't have a medical card, is a private psychiatrist acceptable?

Ill try to help!

1. No the second opinion is only necessary when and if you get to the surgery point

2. Afraid not, sorry!

3. Yes it is indeed!

RiseToMe · 10-02-2014 12:58pm

Meesared wrote: »

Ill try to help!

1. No the second opinion is only necessary when and if you get to the surgery point

2. Afraid not, sorry!

3. Yes it is indeed!

That's great thank, I'm a bit lost in all this now.

I've made an appointment with my doctor for referral to psychiatrist, would like to get all my ducks in a row and then be able to press forward but glad to know any wait I have won't affect my loughlinstown wait time

Lyaiera · 10-02-2014 3:00pm

1. The second opinion thing is weird. Some people have needed it, others have not. I had a second opinion from my psychiatrist and that was sufficient. When I was at the clinic a lot of people who had a therapists opinion were being sent to see the in house psychiatrist. I pointed out I had a second opinion already and didn't need to see him.

2. Sorry, I don't know any private psychiatrists who specialise in gender issues.

3. No problem with a private psychiatrist.

RiseToMe · 10-02-2014 3:02pm

Thanks for your reply.

I think I'll push forward with getting my gp to refer me to the psychiatrist and therefore eliminate any hold ups and other things that could stand in my way.

Lyaiera · 10-02-2014 3:06pm

If he hasn't already ask James Kelly to send your referral to Loughlinstown. Depending on how long you're waiting you could have a second opinion by then. They might start you on anti-androgens if you don't have a second opinion or they might send you to see the in-house psychiatrist.

You can always just bring your printed letter of support from a psychiatrist once you do get it.

Best of luck.

RiseToMe · 10-02-2014 3:53pm

I'm signing my paperwork with Dr Kelly next week for him to send my referral

The waiting times for loughlinstown atm are around 4 months according to him so I hope I'll get my second opinion within then with a private psychiatrist

Cherylwalsh3 · 19-02-2014 2:36am

RiseToMe wrote: »

I'm signing my paperwork with Dr Kelly next week for him to send my referral

The waiting times for loughlinstown atm are around 4 months according to him so I hope I'll get my second opinion within then with a private psychiatrist

I sent in mine to loughlinstown in jan last year and got an appointment in May. Started on blockers on the 1st appointment. E then 3 months later. The 2nd opinion is really only needed for srs,as far as im aware,and loughlinstown will sort that for you.

RiseToMe · 27-02-2014 7:20pm

Have ended up privately referred to Jim lucey,any idea long his waiting times are?

Also how many sessions? At 300 a pop I'm trying to budget

RiseToMe · 13-05-2014 1:33pm

Guys I have done my deed poll, however the passport office are refusing to change my name until I show that I've been using it for at least two years.

Is this right?

The deed poll was done with a solicitor and I renounced the use of previous name entirely from that forth. Can they really force me to keep it and use it essentially illegally?

Freiheit · 13-05-2014 1:42pm

6 months perhaps, 2 years, rubbish, mine was legal and in use about 6 months, and I've gotten a female passport... Evidence is required of the name being in use, on various documents, ID's, letters etc, but not for 2 years...

Annasopra · 13-05-2014 1:53pm

RiseToMe wrote: »

Guys I have done my deed poll, however the passport office are refusing to change my name until I show that I've been using it for at least two years.

Is this right?

The deed poll was done with a solicitor and I renounced the use of previous name entirely from that forth. Can they really force me to keep it and use it essentially illegally?

Ring TENI and ask

RiseToMe · 13-05-2014 1:58pm

My biggest issue is that a lot of places I've sent my deed poll to are looking for passport proof in addition to name change.

Phone networks, banks etx.

In addition to this, I work in the medical sector and insurance and registered bodies require the passport proof addition.

To further complicate it I'm moving to the UK at the end of June and my new employer requires copy of photo identification which I now cannot provide.

Freiheit · 13-05-2014 2:04pm

Understood, have you got a drivers licence or even a learner permit? your not a student on any even part-time basis? might be worth your while doing a driver theory test, as that was my main identification in the intervening period. No gender on that.

RiseToMe · 13-05-2014 2:10pm

Freiheit wrote: »

Understood, have you got a drivers licence or even a learner permit? your not a student on any even part-time basis? might be worth your while doing a driver theory test, as that was my main identification in the intervening period. No gender on that.

I have a driver licence however they won't do anything without further proof my name change also which I cannot get until I have a form of Id.

I am a student, but just finishing and it's in the UK. They require a gender recognition cert which Ireland don't have. And the deed poll also needs supporting documents.

Absolute nightmare.

Freiheit · 13-05-2014 2:25pm

I've been through all of the above with minimal problems,there was no problem changing drivers licence, or student ID...is there any bills in your name? or bank statements? surely there will be something soon?

RiseToMe · 13-05-2014 2:27pm

Soon doesn't cut it though as the passport office want two years of proof. I am leaving Ireland in June and supposed to be arriving in the UK with new passport

Freiheit · 13-05-2014 2:38pm

As I said 2 years is not factual at all...if you can't get documentation just use old id. and make sure you are well armed with medical and legal documentation....

RiseToMe · 13-05-2014 6:30pm

Currently embroiled in a battle over them essentially forcing me to travel on false documentation.

It is such a backwards system. I would understand if I was changing it through common usage but a deed poll is a legal document.

Freiheit · 13-05-2014 7:25pm

It's ****, but remember you will get through this , it's horrible and only very temporary, soon it will all be past tense.

Trans Advice - Question and Concerns

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