Blow jobs - womans perspective

LegacyUser · 26-02-2009 8:23pm #1

is anyone else like me!!

it just repulses me - tried it once never again!!

am i the only one?? Are there females out there who actually physically enjoy giving them??

dudara · 26-02-2009 8:30pm

When you think about it, blowjobs are a bit of an odd activity. But in reality, they are pleasurable to give. Why? Because you're giving your partner pleasure, and there's always pleasure to be had in giving. Additionally, knowing that your partner is enjoying himself is quite arousing in its own right.

liger · 26-02-2009 8:31pm

I can honestly say my most recent ex had no problem with this and fully enjoyed what she was doing.

Kenno90 · 26-02-2009 8:33pm

Most girls i know like to do it , sure it makes us feel good ,:D

MagicMarker · 26-02-2009 8:34pm

Most women I have been with love it.

But as with everything, there are always people who don't like it.

liah · 26-02-2009 8:35pm

I'm not entirely sure I like posting this while logged in, but what the hell.

I actually enjoy giving them, and not solely because I enjoy pleasing my partner-- I just think they're fun. Genuinely. I'd probably almost rather give one than have sex quite a bit of the time. I'm probably weird. I don't know. It just never bothered me at all, possibly because I have an oral fixation as it is (not in a sexual sense, I just constantly have to be chewing something, or sucking on something, or eating). It's also increasingly peculiar because I really don't like receiving oral at all, but I digress.

What about it exactly repulses you? Is it the fact that you've got some lad's.. lad in your mouth, and god knows where it's been? Is it the orgasm? Is it just that you see it as dirty, or it smells funny, or tastes bad? I'm sure there has to be a more specific reason you don't like it.

Perhaps if you could give us some specifics, we might be able to help you learn to enjoy it, since your partner or future partner or whatever is probably going to want to be able to enjoy that activity with you..

Princessa · 26-02-2009 8:36pm

I LOVE giving my boyfriend Bj's. Theres something highly pleasurable knowing that he is enjoying this experience that very intimate to the two of us. Do you not like recieving head? Its the same thing when you think about it....

Maddison · 26-02-2009 8:50pm

I enjoy giving as I enjoy my partner enjoying himself. If a woman feels she doesnt enjoy giving them & gives anyway for peace sakes I doubt it would be an enjoyable experience for the male on the receiving end. Just my opinion.

Pherekydes · 26-02-2009 8:51pm

No, you're not unique, by any means. My OH hates oral sex (even receiving) so to each his or her own.

Don't let anyone pressure you into giving it, either.

LegacyUser · 26-02-2009 9:02pm

no no i know its nice to give because its pleasuring you other half thats why i was asking about the purely physical side!

i really dont know i just dont get the pleasure in it you've got this thing sticking back your throat just making you want to gag, the position your in when giving it, doesn't smell or taste nice or isn't clean, and especially the ejaculation!! just everything in general!! i would love to be able to do it for a partner to make them happy but i just can't its terrible!!!!!!

dudara · 26-02-2009 9:18pm

Unregistered wrote: »

doesn't smell or taste nice or isn't clean, and especially the ejaculation!!

OK, if his penis isn't clean then you're perfectly right in not wanting to go there. Hygiene is important here.

As for the ejaculate, not every woman gives a blowjob to the point of climax. You could try perfectly the mix of blowjob and handjob.

But ultimately, don't do anything that you're not happy with.

Jimmy Bottlehead · 26-02-2009 9:22pm

Unregistered wrote: »

no no i know its nice to give because its pleasuring you other half thats why i was asking about the purely physical side!

i really dont know i just dont get the pleasure in it you've got this thing sticking back your throat just making you want to gag, the position your in when giving it, doesn't smell or taste nice or isn't clean, and especially the ejaculation!! just everything in general!! i would love to be able to do it for a partner to make them happy but i just can't its terrible!!!!!!

If it tastes or smells bad (now penis' do have their own smell but it shouldn't be bad) then tell your man to wash it! Or else do it for him by taking a shower together

And if you don't want him to ejaculate in your mouth, don't let him! As long as it happens the guy generally doesn't care. Your boobs is one good place that provides a visual too.

An ex of mine didn't enjoy doing it either, esp swallowing, and would pull a face every time she did it. Talk about givine me a complex about it! Jesus! Took two other girls telling me it wasn't bad (after the breakup, lol) to make sure I knew it was ok. So don't do something you don't enjoy. You don't have to take it deep either.

26-02-2009 9:30pm

Before you engage in oral sex, perhaps have a hot steamy shower together. Wash his penis for him (that can be highly sensual!). If the taste bothers you so much, you can purchase a "d1ck lick" from any sex shop. It's basically a gel that is flavoured (and edible) that can be put on the penis to give an additional .. taste.

And additionally you can buy the same for a vagina .. but when using these products, it may be a good idea to lie on a towel. They tend to get quite sticky.

As for the ejaculation, he doesn't have to do it in the girl's mouth. Instruct the fella to tell you before he is about to climax, and then just remove it.

Maddison · 26-02-2009 9:33pm

If you find that you gag (unless its a hygiene issue as Dudara says insist its clean or just dont do it) but if you find its your positioning, when on your knees if he mabey gets a bit enthusastic mabey keep one hand on his hip so you can control how far it goes(so to speak) and use your other hand for other things.

LegacyUser · 26-02-2009 9:35pm

ya but ya cant tell someone to wash themselves everytime or they would get offended!!! and if i was to do it i would be liable to have to ask them everytime!!

i dont know im just a weird one!! i dont think i would be easily pushed into doing it either so no need to worry on that aspect of things!!

maybe i just had a bad experience and should try it again...

Dudess · 26-02-2009 9:35pm

It makes perfect sense that some women would hate giving blowjobs - I find it surprising when women consider that unusual or that it indicates "issues". It's an excretory organ and yes, an area that requires extra maintenance in the hygiene department. I don't know... I could be wrong, but I can't help but feel some of those who have always "loved" it didn't really initially but felt obliged to act like they did. I was certainly repulsed by it when I became sexually active, but I have grown to enjoy it now. I don't imagine it being pleasant as a first or very early sexual experience for a girl - seems more suitable for a girl who's more sexually experienced. This is all just based on my opinion though.
Oral stimulation of a penis... I personally can't see how that in itself is appealing, but oral stimulation of the penis of the right guy... different story.
OP, best not to overthink it.

Boston · 26-02-2009 9:39pm

Dudess wrote: »

It makes perfect sense that some women would hate giving blowjobs - I find it surprising when women consider that unusual or that it indicates "issues". It's an excretory organ and yes, an area that requires extra maintenance in the hygiene department. I don't know... I could be wrong, but I can't help but feel those who have always "loved" it didn't really initially but felt obliged to act like they did.

Your wrong.

Neverwhere · 26-02-2009 9:42pm

yeah i agree with what other people have said.

blowjobs are something that took me a while to master. (i was abused as a child, so blow jobs werent the best for me)

ive only recently started giving oral properly. because of flashbacks, i cant let him ejaculate in my mouth, but there are plenty of ways around that as other people have said.

as for the gagging....dont deep throat. put as much as you feel comftorable with in your mouth, and give him a handjob on the rest.

if you dont like the taste, but you want to give the full blowjob.....try flavoured condoms. thats usually what me and my partner do.

as someone else mentioned above...only do it if YOU want to, dont let anyone ever pressure you into anything.

Dudess · 26-02-2009 9:43pm

Unregistered wrote: »

is anyone else like me!!

it just repulses me - tried it once never again!!

am i the only one?? Are there females out there who actually physically enjoy giving them??

I see you tried it once - I'm guessing it wasn't with a guy to whom you were extremely attracted, or madly in love with... wait until you're with one of those guys - makes all the difference.

Miss Fluff · 26-02-2009 9:46pm

Unregistered wrote: »

ya but ya cant tell someone to wash themselves everytime or they would get offended!!! and if i was to do it i would be liable to have to ask them everytime!!

Erm, so there is obviously a serious hygiene issue here, you have inferred same in your earlier posts too. No wonder you have an issue if he's a stinky minger, tell the dirt bag to wash himself properly.

pop.1280 · 26-02-2009 9:49pm

A bit off topic but did anyone notice that wind farms are one of the context sensitive ads associated with this thread

LegacyUser · 26-02-2009 10:03pm

well no i wouldnt say hygiene is at issue here i think that is just something iv got in my head!!

Dudess · 26-02-2009 10:07pm

Well who's the guy? (As in, what's your relationship to him?) How attracted to him are you? There are cases where sexual maturity is required for particular sexual acts - what age are you?

Boston wrote: »

You're wrong.

Sorry, I should have said I think there are probably "some" girls who say they love it when they don't really/always loved it when they didn't at the start - there are of course people who pretend to enjoy something when they don't, due to feeling pressured.

LegacyUser · 26-02-2009 10:15pm

I genuinely love giving oral and find it a big turn on - but I didn't always, it made me very squeamish when I was young and inexperienced. Took a while to get used to it, and a guy I could really let go with. Even now that I'm totally comfortable with it, I still wouldn't do it until I was really relaxed with the guy. OP - wait 'til it's someone you're mad about that makes you feel totally at ease, and then practise practise practise!

Silverfish · 26-02-2009 10:20pm

pop.1280, I suggest you read the charter for this forum, off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban.

LegacyUser · 26-02-2009 10:22pm

well at the time when i tried it i was in a serious enough relationship and i was attracted to him alot. maybe it will be different when i meet mr. right! im only 21..

i was just wondering, given that i am now single and potential suitors will invariable want oral, if i was just weird in not liking it at all.

i think ill give it a try again when the time is right and if i dont like it then ill just take it that i just dont like it.

useful_contacts · 26-02-2009 10:22pm

Unregistered wrote: »

is anyone else like me!!

it just repulses me - tried it once never again!!

am i the only one?? Are there females out there who actually physically enjoy giving them??

i love giving them, but im the only one i know who does, everyones different TBH and it depends on your gag reflix as well

Maddison · 26-02-2009 10:26pm

Oh absolutely, It takes a while to get used to giving & enjoying it too! I really cannot understand why/how any man would expect a woman to go there if he knew it hadnt recently been given a good scrub. I personally dont like receiving oral but If i did Id ensure If I knew nookie was coming up that I was squeaky clean, not for him but for myself!

Lone Stone · 26-02-2009 10:30pm

god i hate being single

Faith · 26-02-2009 10:32pm

Unregistered wrote: »

well at the time when i tried it i was in a serious enough relationship and i was attracted to him alot. maybe it will be different when i meet mr. right! im only 21..

i was just wondering, given that i am now single and potential suitors will invariable want oral, if i was just weird in not liking it at all.

i think ill give it a try again when the time is right and if i dont like it then ill just take it that i just dont like it.

Personally, I think if you're uncomfortable with it, oral is something you can put off for a while with a new guy. You wouldn't really be expected to go down the first few nights with them if other threads I've read are anything to go by. Many actually regard oral as more intimate than penetration. So don't get too worked up about being expected to go down on guys you're not sure about.

But when you feel ready, I think you'd be right in giving it another shot, if only to help you identify what it is that you don't like about giving them. When I was younger, the thought of giving a guy a blow job freaked the hell out of me because I had NO idea what I was supposed to do. If you've only done it once before, do you think that might be contributing to your dislike of it?

If you have a sensitive gag reflex, or if he's quite big, don't try and take more than you can manage into your mouth. Try doing it when he's lying on his back because you have more control then and he's much less likely to accidentally thrust.

Finally, some women just hate doing it and that's that. You don't have to do it if you really don't like it. Guys might not be too happy about it, but if they like you enough, I'm sure it's a sacrifice many would be willing to make.

GrumPy · 26-02-2009 10:35pm

Unregistered wrote: »

is anyone else like me!!

it just repulses me - tried it once never again!!

am i the only one?? Are there females out there who actually physically enjoy giving them??

They repluse you? Fair enough if you dont enjoy them, but surely once hygiene isn't a major issue then it can't be all that bad imo. I mean, men deffo have the shorter end of the stick when it comes to oral, and you dont hear us complaining! :pac:

Dudess · 26-02-2009 10:36pm

OP, the more experience of it you have, the more comfortable you become with it - and when you develop a technique (particularly one that will have him hitting the roof with ecstasy

) it can be a fantastic experience.

LegacyUser · 26-02-2009 10:44pm

Faith wrote: »

Guys might not be too happy about it, but if they like you enough, I'm sure it's a sacrifice many would be willing to make.

No man should make this sacrifice!! Seriously.....men love them so why would they give them up for the rest of your life? No chance!!

Lads, if she don't go down then get rid!!

LegacyUser · 26-02-2009 10:47pm

I have an oral fixation and there is nothing I like more then having my mouth full
of a good sized hard smooth tasty cock, the feel of it, the weight of it, the push and play
of it through my lips, over my tongue, against the roof of my mouth or to just suck and lick
the glands of it.

I think a lot of women are caught up in the daft idea that it's wrong to like it and
it's demeaning, thing is it can be incredibly empowering, the things you can do
and how you can make him react and twitch.

Some women even orgasm from being fcuked in the mouth, I know I do.
Not everyone enjoys it as much as I do, but not ever woman has issues with it
that they had to over come.

Loxosceles · 26-02-2009 10:52pm

Personally, I find that a ratio of Irish men over the age of 35 need to improve the habit of washing under the foreskin. Older Irish men are used to more conservative bathing due to the era in which they were raised, as well as psychological blocks toward normal regular tumescence and self-relief that stretches the foreskin enough for washing. This very often adds up to a cheesy outcome. BLEAH! Younger Irish men are, however, tend to be far more clean-cut and scrubbed-up as a whole.

Dudess · 26-02-2009 10:53pm

Unregistered wrote: »

No man should make this sacrifice!! Seriously.....men love them so why would they give them up for the rest of your life? No chance!!

Lads, if she don't go down then get rid!!

So you'd be cool with a girl giving you head even though she hated doing so? Sorry, if someone doesn't like something, they shouldn't have to do it.

LegacyUser · 26-02-2009 10:56pm

GrumPy wrote: »

They repluse you? Fair enough if you dont enjoy them, but surely once hygiene isn't a major issue then it can't be all that bad imo. I mean, men deffo have the shorter end of the stick when it comes to oral, and you dont hear us complaining! :pac:

Elaborate on this please ?!

I'm a guy and I'd say this...if you don't like it, don't do it. However, if you don't like it the first few times and don't do it ever again thereafter then you are cutting out what could be a really enjoyable experience for both of you.

The guy in me wants to say "Give it a few more tries ! Maybe it will come good in the end !" (Forgive the pun), but if you REALLY REALLY cannot stomach it, then just say no.

HOWEVER, if its a problem of hygiene, say it to him. I'm a guy. If my girlfriend said "Hey, you're a bit whiffy down there...would you mind having a shower because its kind of hard for me to enjoy myself down here...I could come too and help with the...scrubbing... if you wanted....", then I would be in there like a shot, and from that he should get the message too. You have to tell him though, I bet he'd rather know so he can fix the problem than stop getting them altogether !!

Dudess · 26-02-2009 10:56pm

Oral fixation. wrote: »

I think a lot of women are caught up in the daft idea that it's wrong to like it and it's demeaning

I suppose, on a superficial level (not taking any other factors into account) the idea of it (particularly the ejaculation aspect) appears "demeaning" to some.

Dudess · 26-02-2009 11:00pm

GrumPy wrote: »

men deffo have the shorter end of the stick when it comes to oral, and you dont hear us complaining! :pac:

Oh yeah, "deffo" - those clitorises can choke ya...

LegacyUser · 26-02-2009 11:08pm

i always insist on my husband washing before i give him a bj
no wash no blow, simple as that.
if he respects and loves you he won't mind

Grimebox · 27-02-2009 1:49am

i think im the only guy in the world who doesnt like this. ive never come from it and find a bit tedious after a few mins. just so you know not every guy is mad about it

LegacyUser · 27-02-2009 2:10am

@Grimebox: Well is she doing it right? My Gf was ok at blowjobs at first but it would take me ages to come, however with a little advice from me and her basically asking what she could do to make it better has made getting a blowjob an amazing experience. Next time you two are getting freaky together try and guide her and get her to work the right places with her tongue, she's prob just being doing it wrong which seems possible to me. So help her out and you might find blowjobs to be very very good

One tip I would suggest is use your hand to move her head down on you, you can dictate the right pace and I think this bit of control can help make it feel more engaging. Play around

27-02-2009 8:04am

Dudess wrote: »

Oh yeah, "deffo" - those clitorises can choke ya...

I'm sure what he meant was performing oral on a guy is considerably easier/more straight forward than on a girl. (not that i've ever done it on a guy)

LegacyUser · 27-02-2009 10:40am

One tip I would suggest is use your hand to move her head down on you, you can dictate the right pace and I think this bit of control can help make it feel more engaging.

Nonononononono..... just no.

be very careful before going down this route.

Tommy the Cat · 27-02-2009 10:45am

Years ago I was going out with a girl in my early teens. She had been unfaithful and I was still raw about it. Anyhoo the conversation had turned into why she hated giving head. The usual lame excuse "I just don’t".

That kind of lit the flame. After all she had no problem with me giving her oral, even though another gent’s togger had been partying. I kindly escorted the lady to the door, open it and booted her in the tush.

Chris Rock said it best "Whenever I meet a girl that doesn’t give head...I look at her like a damn Betamax...They still make you?"

shellyboo · 27-02-2009 11:50am

Unregistered wrote: »

ya but ya cant tell someone to wash themselves everytime or they would get offended!!! and if i was to do it i would be liable to have to ask them everytime!!

You most certainly CAN ask him to clean it every time. I'd say given a choice between washing before a bj and no bjs, most men would choose the first option. Depending on how clean you want it to be, even something like some baby wipes beside the bed might help you get over that mental block of 'it's dirty'? Alternatively, do it int he shower as other posters suggested.

Unregistered wrote: »

maybe i just had a bad experience and should try it again...

I think you should, OP. If you're in a relationship with a decent guy, just tell him your fears - that you're not really keen on it but you want to try, for him, and just ask him to be patient with you. I don't think many men would have an issue with their gf wanting to give them as much pleasure as possible... there's no need to be ashamed that you don't like it.

It's pretty scary really, having something in your mouth and throat, like you say. You *can* get to like it over time though. I used to be an "I don't do that" girl for various reasons, but I learned to love it with practice - and the better I got, the more I enjoyed it. So you can get to enjoy it. It's one of those things that you just need to DO, and once you have, you'll probably see that it's not so bad.

Just make sure all the variables are right for you before you try it again - an understanding guy, a clean area, and lots of patience. Take it slow.

Unregistered wrote: »

One tip I would suggest is use your hand to move her head down on you, you can dictate the right pace and I think this bit of control can help make it feel more engaging. Play around

A world of no. This is the very last thing you should be doing to a girl who dislikes or is inexperienced at oral sex. Do you want to put her off for life? It has to be at the woman's pace, especially if she's nervous. Giving a helping hand if fine with an established partner who knows what she's doing, but otherwise than that it's a BIG no-no.

Nitxteha · 27-02-2009 12:00pm

don't do anything that you don't like. Even if everybody else like it, if you don't... end of story, don't get stressed because of that.

Do only what you like and what you enjoy

LegacyUser · 27-02-2009 1:31pm

oh...BJ - my boyfriend LOVES them, but although i dont dislike doing this, i just find it so difficult. Its impossible for me to do it, the gag reflux is too much, and i panic incase i throw up or something...how bad would that be.
And he is quite big (not that im bragging or anything), and my mouth is tiny, so its so difficult for me. So poor man only gets about 1 a week, and thats if i really prepare and brace myself for it!!!!

Dudess · 27-02-2009 2:17pm

Have you said all this to him? It's not ideal that it's such a difficult experience for you yet you feel obliged to do it.

Tommy the Cat wrote: »

the conversation had turned into why she hated giving head. The usual lame excuse "I just don’t".

That kind of lit the flame. After all she had no problem with me giving her oral, even though another gent’s togger had been partying. I kindly escorted the lady to the door, open it and booted her in the tush.

Chris Rock said it best "Whenever I meet a girl that doesn’t give head...I look at her like a damn Betamax...They still make you?"

Great use to the OP. Tell me this, does the idea of sucking cock appeal to you?
Now why exactly should it be such a delightful idea to a hetero girl? Because she fancies men, therefore she'll automatically enjoy giving them head?
And "I just don't" is not necessarily a "lame excuse" - maybe she was unable to articulate why it didn't appeal to her. She was also only in her early teens (well that's what you say anyway) - it's a big deal for some and can require sexual maturity.
So you gave her head - I don't think "I give her head, therefore she can give me head" cuts it really. If you didn't want to give her head, you shouldn't have done so.

OP, there are a lot of responses here advising you that you "should" do it - don't do anything you're not comfortable with. At the same time, there can be situations where you're not entirely confident about it but you love your partner so much it would get you off to give him pleasure... wait until you're at least at that point.

27-02-2009 6:36pm

Tommy the Cat wrote: »

Years ago I was going out with a girl in my early teens. She had been unfaithful and I was still raw about it. Anyhoo the conversation had turned into why she hated giving head. The usual lame excuse "I just don’t".

That kind of lit the flame. After all she had no problem with me giving her oral, even though another gent’s togger had been partying. I kindly escorted the lady to the door, open it and booted her in the tush.

Chris Rock said it best "Whenever I meet a girl that doesn’t give head...I look at her like a damn Betamax...They still make you?"

Right well, I hope the next girl you meet is horrified you're not into being tied down and had an anal toy roughly used on you and dumps you for that :rolleyes:
Seriously, cop on.

OP, don't do it if you don't want to. Nothing will turn you off faster than that, not to mention you just shouldn't do it if you're uncomfortable with it. To hell with all these "norms" or "everyone else does it", it's about you.
If you feel it may have just been a bad experience and want to try it again by all means do so, it can be a lot of fun, but only if you don't feel under pressure to do so.

MadgeBadge · 27-02-2009 7:05pm

I was going out with my boyfriend for four and a half years and I used to hate giving them. I was very sexually un-adventurous.

I had kind of a one night stand after our relationship ended and found giving head such a turn on. I loved his reaction, I loved that I could make someone feel that way. It turns out I'm a sex fiend.

Blow jobs - womans perspective

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