If you could have told your future self something, what would it be?

coco_lola · 01-03-2012 10:52pm

- Save Money while you have it and don't blow it all!
- Quit smoking before you get hooked
- Don't worry about the points you got in the Leaving Cert - even though you didn't get enough to do your first choice, your second choice allowed you to travel to America for a year for free and meet your lifelong best friend

- Never make a decision based on a boy, whether it's cancelling plans on your friends, a job decision, or a decision to not go on a holiday, cause the one who's worth it wouldn't make you feel the need to choose!

McChubbin · 01-03-2012 11:19pm

I'd go back to 18:

Run away from Ze Russian. Far, far away. He will leave you a broken woman.
Don't be ashamed of being a metalhead. Metalheads are awesome.
Don't waste your time listening to other people's opinions. Yours is the only one that matters.
Black is the worst color to get out of your hair so for the love of Chtultu don't dye your hair! You'll regret it for years.
Ignore the fat hair fedora wearing Neanderthal sitting at the end of the bar-it's 7 months of your life you won't get back.
Hang onto your virginity for dear life!
Don't let your mother rule your life. Stand up to her more often.
Write more- you are clearly not meant to be a web designer.
Draw more- don't drop out of Animation college. It's tough but it'll be rewarding.
Don't start drinking- it'll be difficult to stop.
Tell your parents you were serious when you said you were bi. Experiement. Seriously, woman- you're young. Boys will hurt you and make you doubt yourself and though you always had that nagging doubt in the back of your mind, realise that you do in fact like women and don't feel you have to spent the rest of your life trapped in a closet of your own making.
Save your money- you'll need it when the recession hits.

shopaholic01 · 01-03-2012 11:44pm

Study in school - honestly
Study science in uni
After uni travel, travel, travel - in fact why bother coming back
Stop being so shy - you are not that different
Keep your friends
Save
That house you want in 2004? DO NOT DO IT!!!!!!!!
Play sports and keep fit
Eat less
DO NOT SMOKE
Sleep around - who cares?;):o

CathyMoran · 02-03-2012 12:32pm

I was going to say tell my boyfriend that I wanted a small wedding, he is good but not a mindreader but then I would not have my two wonderful children now.

I suppose I would say to my past self when I was having chemo that I will be a mother.

RacoonQueen · 02-03-2012 12:56pm

• Don't let the family stuff distract you from school half way through 5th year when you're practically top of every class, you're going to ace the LC if you apply yourself. Let things get to you and you will f*ck up.
• Don't stop playing basketball you will miss it
• Appreciate your friends, encourage them to do the things you want to do on a night out instead of letting them drift just because you don't want to go clubbing.
• Physiotherapy is not for you, take science, go study science. PLEASE go and study science.
• Just because you've moved away from your childhood home it doesn't mean you can't see your childhood friends anymore. You saw each other every day ffs, if they don't contact you contact them. They miss you too.

Brendog · 02-03-2012 1:00pm

Work harder in school. get a great leaving cert.
Learn to drive immediatley.
Don't go out and save all your money to travel.
Eat healthier and it wouldn't be so difficult now.

Ayla · 02-03-2012 1:15pm

I'd probably go back to 18:

When you let P sweep you off your feet you'll lose all sense of yourself. Get it back QUICK, or you'll lose 4 years of your life before finally becoming strong enough to stuff it to him
You'll fall for a broken guy, and that's ok because he was as good to you as he could be. But keep your heart in check because his funeral almost undoes you
You're going to learn stuff about yourself that you had no idea was possible. Not all of it is good, but all of it is you. Accept that.
It's ok to forgive yourself.
It's also ok to think that you're a pretty good person who deserves to be treated well.

Babybuff · 02-03-2012 1:16pm

Hey, I'm your best friend, I'll always be your best friend. everything is going to be ok

Jamey_29 · 02-03-2012 1:30pm

Sell the house by end of 2007!

frozenfrozen · 02-03-2012 1:37pm

I'm 16 and reading this. 99% of the posts say to study for leaving cert. I'm reading this, it makes sense, yet I still can't make myself do the work.

Note to my future self: My bad; I was hoping the world would end in 2012.

LashingLady · 02-03-2012 2:00pm

Of course, our younger selves are long gone and can't benefit from this kind of advice. Any teenagers reading this now will probably think "blah blah blah, heard it all before...." I know my mam gave me all of this advice, and I didn't believe her. I will try to make my daughter understand when she's older too. But ultimately these are truths for each person to find out for themselves. The irony....................

******************************************************************

Even though you will be older and bigger, when you're 32 you will look in the mirror and feel happier about yourself than ever before. That will all be down to confidence, try to get more of it now.

A day will come when you will look back at photos of yourself at 18 and realise that far from fat and ugly, you looked hot! Just enjoy it now! Stop wearing black you can wear whatever you want.

And lay off the fecking Wispas, one a day on the way to college is not going to do you any favours....

Lay off the credit card a bit

Go with your gut, you have more cop on than you or others give you credit for

It's all going to work out ok!

Vinta81 · 02-03-2012 2:50pm

- Really think about your CAO choices

- Don't turn around at 2.30am on a night out in July 2009

- SAVE money! Even if it's €20 from every paycheck SAVE!

whitewave · 02-03-2012 3:09pm

- stop stressing out so much. you'll be fine

- realise how much your family mean to you, you don't know when that'll be taken away from you

- don't miss out on the chance to travel. take advantage of every opportunity possible

- have a rethink about that college course, are you completely sure it's for you?

Daisies · 02-03-2012 5:56pm

Dear 16 year old self
-Treasure M. Tell him he's like a brother to you. He'll be gone within a year and you will miss him forever.
-Give yourself more credit. You may not be the most popular in school, you may not have a boyfriend but the future gets much better!
-Ask him out. It doesn't matter who "he" is, just ask.
-Science is your strong point, although I think you know that already.
-Boards.ie log on, do it!
-Figure out what suits your body, don't wear lycra, you have curves, it's not going to work!

almostnever · 02-03-2012 8:57pm

Don't let fear hold you back. The fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of sadness, the fear of happiness. Every fear imaginable; don't let it have power over your choices. Even if it takes weeks to work up the courage to do things. Just don't let it hold you back. It's not worth it. Enough external factors will try to bring you down without you sabotaging yourself. Don't procrastinate happiness. Embrace the things you love. Embrace the people you love. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't worry about things and don't feel guilty about things. Don't be afraid to accept a compliment. Take chances. Open up. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. Smile more. Go for it if you really want it, no matter what people say. Tell the people you love that you love them; if you put it off it might never get said.

shakencat · 02-03-2012 9:07pm

My life was pretty awesome at 16..

its from the age of 21 I regret..
not all..

but.. alot.:(

x Purple Pawprints x · 02-03-2012 9:08pm

Stop thinking that you're not good enough for him.

Princess Peach · 02-03-2012 10:14pm

I don't really have any regrets! I had loads of tough times and bad relationships with guys and friends. But without them my life would be so different now and I like it this way. Great boyfriend, great home, love college. And my life led me to make these decisions. So I'm glad of all the mistakes I made and wouldn't want to change them.

Maybe would just tell myself not to purge so often, it will affect your long term health.

Ilyana · 02-03-2012 10:21pm

You need to lose weight, you're actually bordering on obese. It will come off eventually, but you're not doing yourself any favours now.

For heaven's sake, talk to boys. They're not going to laugh in your face. You're only making yourself look like more of a weirdo by staying silent.

Get into an exercise routine. Remember how much you like swimming? Do it.

Ditch J and A, like right now. They're nothing but trouble and you're worth more than they ever made you feel.

Be nicer to your sister.

You'll meet that guy eventually, the one you've always hoped you'll meet. Have patience, but maybe give him your phone number 3 months earlier when you have the chance.

Just because work experience sucked, still put law down on your CAO. You'll love it, and you won't end up working full time for 9 months after leaving the first course.

Don't change a thing about LC year, you're going to do amazingly well and it'll be something you'll always be proud of.

Write more, it's what you're good at.

Raminahobbin · 03-03-2012 12:34am

I don't regret anything except not having more fun. It's all a learning curve and everything is what it is. However, 15 year old me needed a kick up the hole in terms of self-confidence and to NOT do that stupid thing just because I felt it was expected of me.

20/21 year old me sought something very particular out that caused me much much MUCH grief for years when I eventually found it, and I am still trying to heal from that particular period. I'd love to tell her not to judge her own worth based on how much other people need her, and focus instead on her own happiness instead of shouldering other people's burdens with them.

In conclusion: Younger me, BE MORE SELFISH. CARE LESS.

And most importantly, HAVE FUN. Lots of.

Maple · 03-03-2012 1:12pm

We had a thread like this before and I think all my advice would still be the same

Maple wrote: »

Fabulous idea for a thread. What would I tell my 16yr old self? Hmmmm...

- You're not fat. Stop making yourself sick.

- Your breasts are going to grow. Stop fretting about them, and DO NOT ever stuff your bra with green tissue at the disco. It will fall out. I know this.

- Yes, you will always love him but he is not for you. Break up and walk away from him the first time, not the eleventh million.

- Don't put yourself in the middle of your parent's divorce. You're the child, not the parent. It will hurt you.

- Velvet scrunchies are not cool. I repeat, not cool.

- you might hate her now but your sister will turn out to be your best friend in the world.

- sex is not affection. learn the difference.

- don't take it all on your own shoulders, speak to someone about your head and where it's at.

- you might feel lonely but one day you will have the most wonderful people in your life. look forward to that day.

- learn to like yourself, you're pretty cool, there's only one of you so you're unique and can never be replicated.

Zapperzy · 04-03-2012 1:35am

Don't join boards.ie, you'l end up wasting hours and days of your life there.

Send that text, you'l not get another chance.
Keep that kitten.

SomeGuyCalledMi · 04-03-2012 1:41am

MAKE MORE MISTAKES.

wonderfulname · 04-03-2012 1:52am

I'll go back to 12:

Don't start smoking
That goes for weed too, and the legal highs that will come along, you'll waste the next 4/5 years of your life on that sh*t
Only drink socially, EVER, with one or two depressed people is not socially
Self harm - thats another no
Councilling - it does work, give it a chance
Don't bother 'experimenting' with men, your next boyfriend is the only one you'll ever give a crap about, you're effectively gay
Start listening to that little voice in the back of your head
You are not an engineer, stop pretending otherwise, do what you enjoy in life
You're going to meet some awesome people over the next few years, and some of them aren't going to last as long as you'd like, stay in touch

Well I was a screwed up teen...

mackg · 04-03-2012 2:04am

Me when I was a kid, one word: Relax.

Tigger99 · 04-03-2012 3:33am

You are not ugly. Yes, you are a bit overweight but nothing that some exercise won't fix.

Things are going to get better and you won't feel so suffocated. You will find a courage that you never thought you had.

Don't cut off friends and go all introverted when things get hard for you, you will regret not keeping in touch and you will miss them.

You can do more than you ever expected you would. Don't doubt yourself or listen to the bullies or stay with that guy who will make you feel inferior.

Wester · 04-03-2012 11:24am

Put all your doubts and insecurities out of your mind - they're not real- and don't break up with her; you'll regret it, deeply.

verywell · 04-03-2012 12:10pm

Run fast from that stupid boy run fast and don't look back.

You will waste years of your life on someone that did not deserve you.

herisson · 04-03-2012 2:25pm

to 13 year old me:

start running, stop smoking!

to 16 year old me:

for the love of jesus do not dye your hair! you will later regret it and spend 2 and a half years growing it out...we are nice as ginger!

also stop being so down on yourself! he was not worth it!

to 15 ear old me:

do not get with him....you will never be right with guys after him...all trust in men will be gone!

QuiteInterestin · 05-03-2012 2:03pm

Have better posture, exercise more, relax and don't put so much pressure on yourself in college! It will help you avoid long term joint problems in the future!!

Acacia · 06-03-2012 11:05pm

So, so many things I wish I could say to 15 year old me!

- don't just be a complete doormat for the first guy that shows you attention. He is so not worth the amount of time you'll waste on him. I know it's tempting to invest everything into the relationship cause it's your first 'proper' boyfriend, but seriously, he is a loser! And he's not even your type ! (You know this deep down!)

- Appreciate Mammy & Daddy a bit more. It's fun out in the big, bad world but you should realise how much they do for you and that they'll always be there for you.

- Spend more time with your granny now. I know right now it seems like she'll be there forever and you'd rather spend the weekends with your mates, but you'll miss her more than you can imagine when she's gone. An extra weekend or two won't hurt.

- Speaking of mates, branch out a bit more. Now. I know it's handy just to hang around with the same girls all the time ( and they are your besties) but it would actually be healthier and cause less hassle down the line if you had more friendships outside of them.

- Dye your hair, get that piercing and tattoo. Be the person you actually want to be, not what everyone else expects. Don't be such a pussy

- Actually think about your future, not make vague guesses like "I'll be a writer." You're just in denial about properly planning for it cause you think you'll fail, you figure it'll just happen magically, but all your hard work will come to nothing if you come out of college not having a clue what to do. Which leads me onto...

- get counselling now for all the sh1t you carry around with you, cause it will totally hit the fan around 20/21 otherwise. When you lose the 'high achiever' identity you built up through school by now being on the dole it will fcuk with your head in a big way (even though it's not really your fault, there's this **** thing called a recession that's about to hit in about 5 years, save up now!!!

). BUT you might be better prepared for that if you have therapy now. Save yourself years of pain.

- One last thing, all the crap you eat WILL catch up with you. Start exercising now and eating less sweets. I know you hate sports, but you won't be size 6 forever and still be able to eat what you want (and believe me, it sucks.) So ditch the sh1te now!

Having said all that, I'm glad everything happened the way it did cause I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for my mistakes.

[Rasta] · 06-03-2012 11:46pm

I honestly can't think of any reason to go back and do something different. I've always thought about my actions and choices before I'd make them. Everything worked out fine and I've nothing to complain about really. Maybe to give more gratitude to my parents for giving me the freedom to let me make the choices I wanted and to let me become who I am now.

However, maybe not eating the ~4kg of Lindt chocolate I had in one week would've been nice, which lead to my only cavity, but it doesn't really bother me.

candy-gal1 · 07-03-2012 6:15pm

excellent thread, loving the life tips here

going to add a few, cant edit my first post here,

to myself just over a year ago, for the love of jesus be thankful that your realising/being told all this crap now about what was/is/will still be going on and how that truly 99.9% of people arent really worth a damn tbh and that life is for enjoying, looking out for yourself, not hurting anyone for no reason and living as much as possable!
at least your only 25, imagine if you were in your 40s or something only realising all that :eek:

relax, go with the flow, save more, and stay single, its a lot easier and a hell of a lot of fun

except the old saying of if its meant to be it will be, and if he wants to be with you again hell come back to you, otherwise your just driving yourself nuts!
also, when thinking of himself and times you had, realise that they were really really good times, it was my very first relationship and it was great, i just shouldnt have believed and fallen for everything that he said to me tbh.

dont do everything someone tells you to do unless theres a legitimate reason for it/if benefits you.

do not under any circumstance even slightly befriend that work colleaugue that your put with to train, shell fcuk you over in a lot of ways for absolutly no reason just to put up the aule self esteem on her part, get away from it as soon as possable, theres a huge difference between shyness and just being a complete ****, youll thank yourself later!

smile and move on, do nothing unless physically provoked, it annoys/freaks any of the haters out

life just keeps getting better in different ways tbh, plus its a lot of different experiences for you, enjoy it!

if you have to look back, do it either being happy or learning!

Emme · 16-03-2012 1:57pm

To my 20 something self:
Stop worrying about what other people think so much.
Chill out, enjoy yourself more, you're not as fat as you think.
When guys say you're hot they mean it, you are hotter than you think.
Sleeping around won't make you a slut if you're careful, enjoy yourself because you might not meet the man of your dreams in future and the offers will dry up as you get older.
Don't date losers because you think you can get nothing better. If you date losers you are wasting precious time - time that could be spent looking for somebody decent.

To my early 30s self:
Studying at night is all very well but there might not be a job at the end of it and an honours degree won't keep you warm at night.
Don't waste precious time trying to reform that alcoholic git because he'll never change.
Don't continue dating that older guy you don't fancy in the hope it will change because you think you can't find somebody else. You won't fancy him, he will force himself on you and leave you traumatised for years. And when you finally get over the attack it might well be too late to find somebody.
Don't date losers because you think you can get nothing better. If you continue to do so the day will come when all the decent men your age are gone or date younger women and only losers will date you.

To my late 30s self - now:
Try to make the most of things now even if they're not ideal, and try not to regret being so idealistic and puritanical in the past. You can't change the past and the future might not be as bad as you think. And if an attractive man propositions you - grab him, even if you do think he's too young! It's been a long time and one night of fun could put a smile on your face for weeks. Carpe diem.

bubbaloo · 16-03-2012 4:38pm

Brilliant thread.......

To the teenage me......

Stop partying - have fun, but study (even just a bit) and stay in university.
Stop worrying about finding a man - you will find the world's most wonderful man, and he will love every breath from your mouth.

Spend more "nice" time with your parents - they won't always be here or be healthy.

To me in my 20's........

You will have a very difficult journey but you will have your beautiful child.
Your brother is an asshole and can't be depended upon so stop expecting anything from him now and you won't be disappointed!
Save your bloody money!

To me in my 30's.....

Stop trying to please everyone. They wouldn't do the same for you and if you'd just call their bluff you'd find out who your friends are!
Save your bloody money!

I am a friend · 16-03-2012 9:24pm

Dont break up with 'Mr X'... You wont meet anyone as sound as him and you will get back with him in 17 years time after kissing lots of frogs

Kiera · 16-03-2012 9:47pm

You will see the warning signs after 3 months. Run. Do not waste 5 more years on him.

Stick with nursing, one more year isn't gonna kill you.

Chuchoter · 17-03-2012 12:24am

frozenfrozen wrote: »

I'm 16 and reading this. 99% of the posts say to study for leaving cert. I'm reading this, it makes sense, yet I still can't make myself do the work.

Note to my future self: My bad; I was hoping the world would end in 2012.

Same here but I'm so ****ing sick of this year. If the leaving cert was tomorrow I'd be so happy. I'm just terrified the points will go way up :S

I'm going to go for 16
Be less boring. Go out more, meet more people.

Stay away from that girl! She's a huge bitch, will cheat on you and make you completely miserable for 2 years for no reason, but in the end she gets her comeuppance in a really big way. You have much better friends under your nose you're not paying attention to.

Don't pick all three sciences for the love of god.

Grow a set, stop changing yourself to please everyone else.

Jessibelle · 17-03-2012 3:15am

To 19 year old me,

That one you never thought you'd get with? You will.
The one that you thought if it happened it would never end? It does.
The inability to ever get over them. You do, (eventually, it does take about 12 months longer than you're willing to admit though

)
That thing you dreamed of doing, and never stopped wanting to do, despite a whole other life developing in front of you, even then? The second you have a bit of faith in yourself (despite 2 years of applications), they let you in, you're doing it now and you have never been as

:D:D:D in your life. Also exhausted but mainly

Regarding the exhaustion? You may want to invest in a decent eye cream now....

Handsome Bob · 17-03-2012 5:00pm

Would probably go back to when I was 10 or something and tell myself to lose weight, it's amazing how so many issues can develop from one single, original issue!

jam_mac_jam · 17-03-2012 5:03pm

Don't ever smoke.

daenerysstormborn3 · 17-03-2012 9:26pm

I would go back to when I was 18 and tell myself to start looking after my body then rather than waiting until it got out of hand and impossible to control (or so it seems).

jesus_thats_gre · 18-03-2012 12:03pm

Realise that you get bored quickly and that the high performance that you exhibit early on will taper off unless you up the work level. That and don't get fat.

loalae · 18-03-2012 12:24pm

I would tell my 16 year old self:

- you're not ugly, at all! But when you talk about the way you look, you're boring.

- Forgive your cousin, she's messed up at the moment.

- College isn't going to work out the way you want it to, but do it anyway.

- It's ok to be shy and reserved. You're not weird, you're you.

- People like you, accept it.

boomkatalog · 19-03-2012 4:08pm

I'd tell my teenage self:

-don't worry about the past, its not relevant to who you are now. Ye'll be friends some day

-dont eat all that crap, it WILL start to catch up with you, just like mom said :pac:
-dont ever be afraid to tell people where to go, nobody has the right to make you feel uncomfortable!
-no, your boobs aren't going to get any bigger but who cares, you've got great legs

-just because someone has had a hard life doesn't make it ok for them to be a jerk to you.
-mom loves you, she doesn't mean to be so hurtful, she just doesn't think before she speaks.
-chin up blondey, that 'flaw' isn't a flaw at all, its what makes you you!

Wonder if I'll have anything to say to my 21 year old self in ten years time

jellygems · 19-03-2012 5:32pm

the only person whos opinion matters is your own

ragdoll91 · 19-03-2012 8:52pm

This is a really lovely thread

To my 15 year old self:
No, you don't have a perfect body. And all the dieting and exercising in the world isn't going to change that. But in a few years you'll look in the mirror and be genuinely happy with what you see.

Your brother will be one of your best friends. Crazy I know, but you have more in common than you realise and he's really great.

You, E and S won't actually be best friends for ever. E will suddenly decide she doesn't want to be part of your life and it will break your heart, and you and S will simply grow apart. So start making other friends now, it's hard to suddenly be alone.

In contradiction, don't panic too much about not having good school friends. Keep studying hard because when you get the points it's worth it and when you go to college you will meet the most amazing people who will make you become a better version of yourself and love you for you. Really I promise!

Don't stress about not having a boyfriend. Don't be afraid to have fun, you have time to be sensible later. Don't kiss too many boys in coppers, and DON'T kiss the boy who lives next door to the girl you're going home with....mistake! On the other hand, don't be afraid to kiss that friend who's too shy to make the first move, it'll be worth it!

And finally, ignore the rules. Don't worry about what you 'should' do. Text him first, stay up all night before a 9am lecture, cry to anyone (you'll be surprised how many people will be there to wipe up the tears), put yourself forward - you are so much more confident than you realise, and no one is judging you.

Posy · 19-03-2012 9:11pm

You're 12 years old.
You are about to have a wonderful opportunity to learn French, science, art, be taught about history and generally have a lot of fun and make wonderful friends.
Please do not spend five years sulking about having to go to school, hating it and not learning anything useful.
Don't wish away your school time. You have summers off and no bills to pay or rent to worry about.
And really enjoy that summer when we had a heat wave and almost three months of constant sun. It will not happen again for a LONG TIME.

lolita60 · 20-03-2012 2:10am

To My 16 year old self:

-Go to your lectures, there's more to College life than Partying!!
-If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you!!
-Listen to Mom... She's ALWAYS right!!
-Don't go to Rome!
-Don't Move in with him, neither of ye really want to anyway!!:rolleyes:
-Save!!!!
-Dont put up with the lies
-Dont be so stubborn!!!!
-Cherish the memories!!
-Make the Coffee without complaining!!!!!!:(

tinyk68 · 21-03-2012 3:16pm

Chin up! You won't always be the ugly duckling who's too shy to look anyone in the eye. Some day very soon you will blossom and all those people who overlooked you will look twice;)

If you could have told your future self something, what would it be?

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