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(UK) Vicar hospitalised with potato up his Bum

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Comments

  • #52
    BaZmO*
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,625 ✭✭✭✭BaZmO*


    Nice of the editor to provide a picture of a potato just in case anybody doesn't know what a potato looks like.


  • #53
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,080 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    Be honest. Who hasn't stuck a spud up their holes?


  • #54
    PogMoThoin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,874 ✭✭✭✭PogMoThoin


    Rectum, nearly fcukin killed him


  • #55
    Rockn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 363 ✭✭Rockn


    Always tie a bit of twine around the spud before inserting. Amateurs!


  • #56
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    That's the worst place to get a potato.


  • #57
    Hootanany
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,477 ✭✭✭Hootanany


    I wonder was it peeled first Hygene and all.


  • #58
    RichieC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,333 ✭✭✭RichieC


    There's an old saying out west: If it hasn't got a handle don't stick it up your ring..


  • #59
    Hootanany
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,477 ✭✭✭Hootanany


    RichieC wrote: »
    There's an old saying out west: If it hasn't got a handle don't stick it up your ring..



    The mind boogles.


  • #60
    senorwipesalot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,458 ✭✭✭senorwipesalot


    Anyway doctor, there I was hanging up me curtains naked when I slipped and this Russian doll fell into my anus.


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  • #61
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    I'm blue in the face from telling ye men, nothing bigger than a finger should go up there.....two if you are highly experienced :pac:


  • #62
    John Doe1
    Registered Users Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭John Doe1


    Story of the year:D


  • #63
    AngryBollix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭AngryBollix


    kfallon wrote: »
    I'm blue in the face from telling ye men, nothing bigger than a finger should go up there.....two if you are highly experienced :pac:

    Its bananas and cucumbers all the way


  • #64
    Mr.Crinklewood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,505 ✭✭✭✭Mr.Crinklewood


    Wonder if the potato was covered in Franks Red Hot Sauce.


  • #65
    JustAddWater
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,990 ✭✭✭JustAddWater


    Will it still be a class 2 when they remove it?


  • #66
    Mr.Crinklewood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,505 ✭✭✭✭Mr.Crinklewood


    JustAddWater wrote: »
    Will it still be a class 2 when they remove it?

    The barring order prevent him going near class 2.


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  • #67
    Riddle101
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,440 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    If I can be serious for a moment. Why is the Metro quoting The Sun as a source? Does the Sun even count as a reliable source?


  • #68
    CreepingDeath
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,015 ✭✭✭CreepingDeath


    Well, when he starts off with the body of Christ in his mouth everyday it probably was going to escalate..


  • #69
    amacachi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,316 ✭✭✭✭amacachi


    senorwipesalot wrote: »
    Anyway doctor, there I was hanging up me curtains naked when I slipped and this Russian doll fell into my anus.

    Don't like those Russian Dolls, they're so full of themselves.


  • #70
    Elmer Blooker
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,183 ✭✭✭Elmer Blooker


    Was he in a tutu?
    He's not strange, he just wants to live his life this way.


  • #71
    Hootanany
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,477 ✭✭✭Hootanany


    Why would you hang Curtains Naked.


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  • #72
    kelle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭kelle


    If I had a tenner for every time I heard that story over the past few years I'd be fairly well-off by now - bit of a (hospital) urban legend...


  • #73
    Xivilai
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 721 ✭✭✭Xivilai


    Thats how my family hid their potatoes back in the Famine days. These days its just perverted however


  • #74
    kelle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭kelle


    http://top10king.com/crazy-objects-found-in-peoples-bumbums/


  • #75
    earpiece
    Closed Accounts Posts: 550 ✭✭✭earpiece


    RichieC wrote: »
    There's an old saying out west: If it hasn't got a handle don't stick it up your ring..
    Doors and bicycles come to mind.... or wood burning stove..... ouch!


  • #76
    im invisible
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,372 ✭✭✭im invisible


    token101 wrote: »
    You're being sarcastic. Surely? Please tell me you're being sarcastic? Because if you're not, you're calling me homophobic for suggesting that a guy pouring concrete up his ass is beyond a moron?
    only seeing this now,
    the Darwin awards are given to people who have managed to kill themselves through their own stupidity, usually before they manage to procreate, thus taking thier stupid-genes out of the genepool, for the benefit of future generations of mankind,

    now, i dont think this guy who poured concrete up his ass managed to kill himself, but he was gay, so probably won't passing on his genes anyway...


  • #77
    booboo88
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,107 ✭✭✭booboo88


    benway wrote: »
    No corkscrews in the rectory, obviously.

    No cork screws in the rectum ;)


  • #78
    holystungun9
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,933 ✭✭✭holystungun9


    benway wrote: »
    No corkscrews in the rectory, obviously.

    *snigger snigger


  • #79
    some random drunk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 969 ✭✭✭some random drunk


    What incredible bad luck! I mean bad enough for this sort of thing to happen once, but it seems the exact same thing happened to the poor vicar back in 2008 too:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3330057/Vicar-went-to-hospital-with-potato-stuck-in-bottom.html


  • #80
    vibe666
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,016 ✭✭✭✭vibe666


    some random drunk wrote: »
    What incredible bad luck! I mean bad enough for this sort of thing to happen once, but it seems the exact same thing happened to the poor vicar back in 2008 too:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3330057/Vicar-went-to-hospital-with-potato-stuck-in-bottom.html
    once i can believe, but twice? i honestly don't think he was there to hang curtains. :eek:


  • #81
    Fizman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,605 ✭✭✭Fizman


    "But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way."

    Sure ye do love.


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  • #82
    Fart
    Registered Users Posts: 1,825 ✭✭✭Fart


    holystungun9 wrote: »
    *snigger snigger

    Racist!
    John Doe1 wrote: »
    Story of the rear

    F.Y.P.


  • #83
    latenia
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,997 ✭✭✭latenia


    44leto wrote: »
    I remember reading about a case in England when they found a man who bled too death.

    He somehow figured that sodomy would be a good idea with his horse, it wasn't, but the remarkable thing, the coroner estimated it took him about 3 days to die and in agony. He was to embarrassed to seek assistance.

    There's a good but really disturbing documentary about that case:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoo_(film)

    And something closer to home:

    http://www.thejournal.ie/woman-died-from-allergic-reaction-to-sex-with-dog-172620-Jul2011/


  • #84
    vibe666
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,016 ✭✭✭✭vibe666


    is this the new tayto parked everyone is always on about?


  • #85
    MetalDog
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 904 ✭✭✭MetalDog


    vibe666 wrote: »
    is this the new tayto parked everyone is always on about?

    I dunno, maybe it's one of the Mystery Walkers flavours http://www.walkers.co.uk/Home/Index


  • #86
    vibe666
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,016 ✭✭✭✭vibe666


    MetalDog wrote: »
    I dunno, maybe it's one of the Mystery Walkers flavours http://www.walkers.co.uk/Home/Index
    vicar's hoop flavour?


  • #87
    Paparazzo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,397 ✭✭✭Paparazzo


    token101 wrote: »
    Eh, regardless of what this guy did, is he not entitled to confidentiality? Or does that just go out the window when the situation is funny? I'd sue the hole of that nurse and I'd be wanting her struck off if possible.

    It is confidential. It doesn't give a name. However, good luck to keeping that secret when you go to court.


  • #88
    Yakult
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 7,941 Mod ✭✭✭✭Yakult


    That story is exactly like what happened to an old guy living down the road from me.
    He was "changing a light bulb naked" when the light bulb went up he's rear end. Ya....


  • #89
    dilallio
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,728 ✭✭✭dilallio


    My flat mate was working as a porter in the Regional Hospital in Galway 15 yrs ago when a man came in one night with a black pudding lodged up his ass. Before removing it, my flatemate had to take him down to x-ray first.
    Now normally, when a patient is sent for an x-ray, the request form includes details like
    "Query - tibula or fibula" or "Query - radius or ulna".
    In this case, the form simply read
    "Query - Denny's or Roscrea" :-)


  • #90
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 92,450 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    The Vicar's not a licker 'cos it's quicker up the gicker when it's slicker not thicker.


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  • #91
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 92,450 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    http://themetapicture.com/potato-you-understand-me/


  • #92
    ProudDUB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,569 ✭✭✭✭ProudDUB


    At least the spud didn't have claws. ;)

    Asked my old restaurant boss once what was the worst/best/funniest excuse he heard for an employee not coming into work. He said it was a waiter calling and saying that he couldn't come in as he'd been gerbiling the night before and his ass was cut to ribbons. Cue me looking mucho puzzled as to what he was talking about. :confused:

    Turns out it is putting a gerbil into a sock, tying a knot in it and then shoving it up your bum. Apparently, the gerbils to-ing and fro-ing in the sock trying to escape gets the business done in the pleasure department.

    Only thing is, this idiot neglected to trim the claws of the poor wee gerbil before he sent him on the ride of a lifetime.

    As an employer, it would tend to stand out from the typical " the my dog ate my homework " type of excuses that they are used to hearing wouldn't it? :D


  • #93
    Johro
    Registered Users Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭Johro


    I wonder did they send the spud to the kitchen?
    I mean, with the recession and all..


  • #94
    Johro
    Registered Users Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭Johro


    Potato: 'It was horrible, just horrible... I.. I don't even... L-leave me alone!'
    (in an interview for the Sun).


  • #95
    Wosserwoman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6 ✭Wosserwoman


    its better him getting action from vegetables than young children :)


  • #96
    Mr E
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 55,533 ✭✭✭✭Mr E


    http://www.oddee.com/_media/imgs/articles2/a97933_penispotato.JPG

    (May be NSFW from a distance - up close, it's a potato) :o


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  • #97
    The Snipe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,484 ✭✭✭The Snipe


    In the words of System of a Down.... PULL THE POTATOE OUT OF YOUR ARSE!


    But seriously I guess he took it too far when he heard the term, "Straining the spuds"


  • #98
    shancoduff
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭shancoduff


    ProudDUB wrote: »
    At least the spud didn't have claws. ;)

    Asked my old restaurant boss once what was the worst/best/funniest excuse he heard for an employee not coming into work. He said it was a waiter calling and saying that he couldn't come in as he'd been gerbiling the night before and his ass was cut to ribbons. Cue me looking mucho puzzled as to what he was talking about. :confused:

    Turns out it is putting a gerbil into a sock, tying a knot in it and then shoving it up your bum. Apparently, the gerbils to-ing and fro-ing in the sock trying to escape gets the business done in the pleasure department.

    Only thing is, this idiot neglected to trim the claws of the poor wee gerbil before he sent him on the ride of a lifetime.

    As an employer, it would tend to stand out from the typical " the my dog ate my homework " type of excuses that they are used to hearing wouldn't it? :D

    You must feel honoured to have worked with Stephen Lynch :P


  • #99
    Hootanany
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,477 ✭✭✭Hootanany


    ProudDUB wrote: »
    At least the spud didn't have claws. ;)

    Asked my old restaurant boss once what was the worst/best/funniest excuse he heard for an employee not coming into work. He said it was a waiter calling and saying that he couldn't come in as he'd been gerbiling the night before and his ass was cut to ribbons. Cue me looking mucho puzzled as to what he was talking about. :confused:

    Turns out it is putting a gerbil into a sock, tying a knot in it and then shoving it up your bum. Apparently, the gerbils to-ing and fro-ing in the sock trying to escape gets the business done in the pleasure department.

    Only thing is, this idiot neglected to trim the claws of the poor wee gerbil before he sent him on the ride of a lifetime.

    As an employer, it would tend to stand out from the typical " the my dog ate my homework " type of excuses that they are used to hearing wouldn't it? :D

    I heard you need a bit of Wavin pipe to do this.


  • #100
    Oat23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,363 ✭✭✭✭Oat23


    *Frank Costanza voice*

    Million-to-one shot doc, million-to-one...


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