What is important for you in a relationship

tbh op, i think your one of the few 25 year old guys who looks for that kind of girl. most guys i know are very based on how a girl looks and while the group i hang out with is a good mix of guys and girls, most of the girls are single even though I would say they are very intelligent, attractive women. the guys in our group don't seem to be interested in us at all really, but happy to date girly, ditzzy girls.

anyway, what do I look for in a man? hmmm...how long have ya got?
sensible, decent funny guy. I used to be a lot more pickyer, but tbh now i just want a nice sound guy who i can have a bit of craic with. I guy who makes the effort and treats me with respect.

allgirlz wrote: »

is always in my corner

^^
Very well said. That sentence pretty much sums up what I would describe as the perfect relationship.
It summarises a healthy balance of encouragement, inspiration, loyalty, trust. Someone who will challenge you, pull the best out of you, and still be there when it all falls apart.

Physically, I rate 'that something' over looks everytime. That flash of attraction when you first make eye contact? Unbeatable

I'm not too fussy about funny girls or girls who are not too girly. There is something cute that sticks out about girly girls and lets be fair it would be difficult and possibly unhealthy to find someone who is basically the female version of yourself, you have to have some differences.

I would also agree that while they say personality is a lot more important than looks, you have to have a certain degree of attraction to another person. To have a strong and healthy relationship it must be mutual in both ways, for liking the other person for who they are and having a reciprocal sexual bond. One cannot form a lasting relationship without the other, I don't know of any couples that lasted because they didn't have the best of both.

So yes looks are vastly important, and the whole "looking for a model" thing is bull**** beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I personally find brunettes to be far better looking than blondes but I know other's who see it the other way around. A woman who is a genetic genius to one fella is only average looking to another.

Also I would not encourage online dating to anyone in any circumstance. Especially for guys who have never had girlfriends or been on a date, girls on those sites may not always reply to your messages and winks. It can be frustrating and its a massive blow to anyone's confidence.

I would be much more inclined to encourage someone to be as sociable as possible and try and meet as many girls as they possibly can. If you ever see an attractive person sitting by themselves at a pub, train, bus in a quiet atmosphere just go up and talk to them. Its difficult at first but it gets better and easier to do with experience, it can also be a useful alternative to guys who find it difficult to meet girls in nightclubs because at least in these situations they will more than likely be sober and may not have set plans.

wivy wrote: »

1. Initially I would admit I go for looks when approaching a guy... tall, dark.. As previous posters say I really think you need that initial attraction and it is important for me..

2. I want a guy whos intelligent, witty and funny with a kind and caring personality. Someone I can basically talk to about everything and anything and who can make me fall around the place laughing...

3. Someone with ambition and some get up and go in them. They want to go places, try new things and are open to new experiences!

... not looking for much at all really... :P

Probably explains why so many lads I know are single:)

No the interests thing wouldnt be an issue for me as long as she wouldnt be complaining about the things that Im interested in. Ive no problem with girlie girls as long as its not OTT or annoying. Not really into girls who like doing the same things as guys too much- I mean, a girl who knows more about football than me I would find that a turn off tbh. other things i would look for is just basically to like the person and get on with the person, most of the time.Everything else just kinda sorts itself out after that I think.

I was thinking about this a little and maybe if you have this "ideal partner" idea it is hard to find them then.

Just thinking of some of the things about my boyfriend I would have said before we met weren't what I ideally wanted. He's a bit older, he lived far away, he's not much of a party guy, he doesn't like Star Wars or Star Trek, he's not blonde!

Had I thought about this I probably wouldn't have given him much a chance you know. And I'm so so glad I did. There's no problem having ideas of who you want, but you should always be open to new people, cause it could turn out great!

Someone who can be my best friend with all that entails. Looks never were a big thing. I've always ended up with men who were average looking but as they won me over with their personality they became the sexiest guys around.

Before I'd have a long check list but now think its meaningless. The ideal person might be different from what you think is your ideal or type of person. You might have a certain look or type you go for that's fine maybe for some aspects of a person but not the be it and end all other things can come into consideration too. What you think is your ideal might not be your ideal at all that your ideal could be someone else!? Though I do try to be a little bit more open I am a tad bit fussy though not to the extreme.

1. For me I suppose personality wins out hands down! If someone hasn't a personality I gel with or find it hard to talk to them or if they are too loud or too quiet that would be a no brainer! I need to be able to have a conversation with someone, be my friend and understand each other. Though not ruling out that opposites attract.

2. Sense of humour be another thing, the guy would have to have a similar sense of humour to me or at least be funny but not insult to be funny. Can have a laugh and the banter but there is such a thing as crossing the line when acting the maggot or insults people for a laugh that would be a no no for me. Immaturity not my thing.

3. A reasonable education and someone I could have an intellectual conversation with and is mature for ones age. Poor conversation or not clicking with someone that would raise a few flags for me. Job wise not a major thing as I understand what the situation is in Ireland but as long as they are happy or have a job I don't mind what ever it is, money and status means nothing too me. Just reasonable standard is enough for me. Though I draw the line if someone hasn't done the leaving though, and that perhaps they at least tried 3rd level though not for everyone that's fine some aren't suited to it. Just that education is very important to me. A trier is better than a doer if you got motivation and ambition I am yours!

4. Say when it come to values and interests it would be important to share similar things and views but not everything its ok to be a little different. That what make that person unique to me, have something talk about and share but that they have their own kind of thing going on independent of me and own space and vice versa for me too. If its the the extreme opposite as in polar opposite then I don't know, I wouldn't like being total opposite in everything as we could end up clashing, some things is ok though like yin yang kinda thing. Compatibility to an extent in most things and areas be important.

5. Looks and attraction be last on my list not the most important or be it and end all but important at the same time. A certain level of attraction. I wouldn't go out with someone if there isn't something there and he feels the same way about me. If its one sided then it won't work. He doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous, once I fancy and like guys who are average-above average looking and I am ok with that. There is such a thing as being realistic!
Though anything else to happen then physical attraction and chemistry need to go hand in hand if its one or the other could make or break. I cannot separate sex from love.

Though I go for certain looks, types and style I suppose and attracted to certain guys over others. I cannot help it who I fancy and don't fancy. Though don't fancy someone straight away, like them yes but until I get to know them will I start to fancy them. Looks is minor, nice too look at, cute, easy on the eye that's ok. More Irish he is the better! I know that's a bit narrow minded I only like Irish guys but find I am more attracted to them than say the likes of really handsome guys like Enrique Iglesias. Same goes for younger guys I'm more attracted to them than older ones. I like a style or look that suits a guy. If he has sense of style that doesn't suit him then no if it does then grand.

It be important to have a life outside the relationship too very very important. Its like living at home I feel I am married to my mother sometimes and that weighs me down. I'm not her husband but feels like that. Then again its the adult child-parent situation and its difficult so from a partner point of view I'd understand what its like to need personal space and live your own live outside a relationship otherwise you tire of the relationship and get sick of each others company if you are with each other too much and living in each others pockets, its not healthy. Which in fact can lead to poor communication, break down of communication, doing our own thing without each other more so, and lack of a secure relationship where you don't confide in each other. If we change then we drift apart then.

Its important we grow together but grow outside too but not too much that we distance each other if that happens then no point in the relationship continuing.

Though happiness with someone is probably close to the top too for me. After that friendship, communication, loyalty, honesty, trust, compromise, give and take, openness and compatibly.