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advice needed re dating after break up

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  • 02-07-2015 1:05am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all

    Need a bit of advice from an outside perspective as I have received a wide variety of advice on this from friends and it's making me even more confused.

    Me and my ex recently broke up about a month ago, we were dating for about a year but we were seeing each other a bit longer before we made it official. Without getting into it we decided to call it a day but I'm completely heartbroken. I've been in several long relationships and I can't remember ever feeling so lost. The thought of having kids with him never freaked me out which is a big thing for me because pregnancy has always scared me.
    I've gone through a bit of a mad phase and agreed to go on an unofficial double "date" with a friend as she thinks it's a good idea even to get out there and not take things too seriously and to take my mind off everything. My other friend thinks it's a bad idea as she feels I'm going to get attached to this new guy as we have so much in common and I'm going to jump into a relationship with him. Another friend thinks I should just have a one night stand with some randomer..my head is literally splitting. In all honesty all I can think of is my ex and that I don't want to do anything I'll regret but I don't see myself and the ex getting back together just due to the fact that he has other things going on in his life.

    So my question is,should I just suck it up and go on the double date? It seems like the best option at the moment compared to the alternatives. Sorry for the long post and appreciate it if you've read it all


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    #2
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Why not do nothing and give yourself a chance to recover? It's too soon to go on any date. Is not fair on the guy you would be meeting as he probably thinks he's meeting a girl who is emotionally well and able to date / for a relationship.

    Why not park that option and focus on getting yourself well before you even think of dating :)


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    #3
    lazybones32
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,647 ✭✭✭lazybones32


    What do you want to do?
    Go on the date if you want; don't if you don't want to.

    Trust your own judgement before your friends opinion of what you should do with your life/time.


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    #4
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    A month is no time OP. You're not in the right frame of mind to date yet. It wouldn't be fair to the guy or to yourself.

    Date when you feel ready, not when your friends tell you to.


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    #5
    athtrasna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,420 ✭✭✭✭athtrasna


    Absolutely agree with CaraMay. Despite what some people will tell you, jumping straight back into the dating game is rarely the best thing to do after an emotional break up. Give yourself time, don't rush into anything.


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    #6
    mapaca
    Registered Users Posts: 405 ✭✭mapaca


    It sounds like you're not ready OP, give yourself more time. You have no space in your head or heart for someone new yet.


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    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks so much for all the replies. I probably should have mentioned the reason I wanted to go on the date is too keep my mind off my ex and also the guy is super nice and makes me laugh but you're all probably right,I don't want to hurt some innocent guy either,it wouldn't be fair considering he's so nice


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