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worst thing your parents ever found in your room.

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    #32
    LizzieJones
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,459 ✭✭✭LizzieJones


    crockholm wrote: »
    The aul one found my bong(which at the time were hard enough to get,most friends used a plastic coke bottle with water,peasants) and Went running to the aul fellah where she said that she had found "a machine for making drugs".

    Hid porno under the mattress, no one would ever discover it there.I was very,very wrong.

    I'll be willing to bet you're the reason for every gray hair on her head. :)


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    #33
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    My first novel.


    Oh my god, they say most people are their own worst critics. Not true in my case.

    Here are their reviews which I found pinned to the fridge the next morning:

    "Poorly conceived plot with excruciatingly cliched characters." - Mum.
    "Bag o'****e. My arse could write better books than this." - Dad.


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    #34
    Lisha
    Registered Users Posts: 8,693 ✭✭✭Lisha


    Aphex wrote: »
    Came home one day to find a brand new bed in my room, and my old bed gone. I think somebody didn't need it or something and my mother said she would take it off the persons hands. Anyway.. Me being a young lad had some "magazines" under the mattress of my old bed. I lift up the new mattress to find the mags chilling in their new home. :o

    Absolutely nothing was mentioned by all parties about this new bed ever :o


    I hope you remember this every Mother's Day and give your mother fantastic gifts.
    She is a legend.


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    #35
    Ihatecuddles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    My first novel.


    Oh my god, they say most people are their own worst critics. Not true in my case.

    Here are their reviews which I found pinned to the fridge the next morning:

    "Poorly conceived plot with excruciatingly cliched characters." - Mum.
    "Bag o'****e. My arse could write better books than this." - Dad.

    That's f*cking brilliant!!! :D


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    #36
    harry Bailey esq
    Registered Users Posts: 4,814 ✭✭✭harry Bailey esq


    mauzo! wrote: »
    Porn? Drugs?

    For me, it was a bottle of gone off milk. I was too lazy to throw it out so I hid it in my drawer until my room smelled like death :o

    Hash and porn,my ma would often find both. She was too embarrassed to say anything about the porn,but she'd move it in such a way that id know she found it.The hash was a different matter though and more than once she rang the police on me and/or slap me round the house. Funny enough she has no problem with me having a joint when i visit nowadays,but when i lived under her roof i might as well have been smoking crack cocaine in my room.drugs are drugs was her mindset at the time. Thankfully middle age has mellowed her out.


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    #37
    NegativeCreep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,351 ✭✭✭NegativeCreep


    A block of hash and a pack of Drum but there were no repercussions so it was grand in the end!


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    #38
    Arthur Beesley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Arthur Beesley


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    My first novel.


    Oh my god, they say most people are their own worst critics. Not true in my case.

    Here are their reviews which I found pinned to the fridge the next morning:

    "Poorly conceived plot with excruciatingly cliched characters." - Mum.
    "Bag o'****e. My arse could write better books than this." - Dad.

    I'd love to be able to say that your writing has improved.


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    #39
    Kitty6277
    Registered Users Posts: 6,204 ✭✭✭Kitty6277


    kiffer wrote: »
    Why the fudgeknuckles would you leave food under your bed?

    That's what I'm wondering:confused:


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    #40
    Mince Pie
    Registered Users Posts: 3,901 ✭✭✭Mince Pie


    I used to collect worms and kept them in a box under my bed. She found them when cleaning and got a bit of a fright.


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    #41
    C14N
    Registered Users Posts: 2,656 ✭✭✭C14N


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    When I was a young teen my father was giving me the birds and the bees talk. He said don't choke the bishop too much. You should save that until you're 18. So he went into my room one day and found three jars full.

    Wait, are you saying you stored up enough of that stuff to fill 3 jars? :eek:

    I think at some point someone may have found some used jizzy toilet paper in my locker when I forgot to throw it out. Still not certain though.


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    #42
    Calibos
    Registered Users Posts: 7,806 ✭✭✭Calibos


    Aphex wrote: »
    Came home one day to find a brand new bed in my room, and my old bed gone. I think somebody didn't need it or something and my mother said she would take it off the persons hands. Anyway.. Me being a young lad had some "magazines" under the mattress of my old bed. I lift up the new mattress to find the mags chilling in their new home. :o

    Absolutely nothing was mentioned by all parties about this new bed ever :o

    Its 1988 and I'm 14

    I'm in my mates house across the road.

    Mate decides to show me an 'Icky' picture of his Mother sunbathing topless on holiday from her 20's.

    "Yeah, thats icky alright". I'd like to leave an icky mess all over.....[Cough]

    She's a 35yo Milf at the time.

    I bide my time and rob the photo a few days later when no one was looking. :D

    I fully intend to put the photo back after I've etched it into my mental ****-bank (80's remember, no scanners or camera phones etc)

    It goes under my matress of my built in bed in the box-room.

    The Fcuker slides through a gap in the panels. No way to retrieve it without destroying the built in bed. FUUUCCCKKK!!

    Its eventually forgotten about and we move out of this rented house a year or so later.

    Sometime in the last 20 years someone renovated that house and found a picture of the 60 year old granny from across the road topless :D


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    #43
    anncoates
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    Me on the job


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    #44
    confusedeire
    Registered Users Posts: 316 ✭✭confusedeire


    Pumpkinseeds wrote: »
    A dead mouse that was a 'gift' from the cat.

    i got the same. he brought it to me one night but the mouse was still alive.

    i got a fright when the cat came in the window and i ended up giving the cat a fright so he dropped the mouse.


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    #45
    Gatling
    Registered Users Posts: 40,291 ✭✭✭✭Gatling


    250 copies of the Pamela Anderson sex tape when it originally came out,
    Wardrobe was full of tapes ready to sell
    360_F_102352090_ie3kLjDIvgrT1sxVDknWCUh8PxgMYzM7.jpg




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    #46
    Calibos
    Registered Users Posts: 7,806 ✭✭✭Calibos


    Mother found my hash stash one day and confronted me with it.

    HER: "Jaysus, Haven't smoked that since the 70's. Why don't you roll a spliff"

    ME: "W...T...F!!???"

    Rolled a monster as ironically this was my first ever hash purchase and had little to no experience rolling. I put too much in. We both got wrecked, I took to my bed to sleep it off. When I woke up later that evening she confronted me again,

    "You little Bastard!! Fine for you, you took to your bed. I had to fcuking do the ironing and cook the families dinner while stoned out of my tree!!"


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    #47
    Drexel
    Registered Users Posts: 3,500 ✭✭✭Drexel


    mauzo! wrote: »
    I kept them in the bottom of my schoolbag, they went a weird greeny colour and turned to powdered mould.

    I hated sandwiches but she insisted :(

    Went through about 3 schoolbags a year!

    I used to do this too. I dunno why haha. In 1st / 2nd class something went missing from the classroom and we all had to go to the front of the class and empty out our schoolbags to see who the robber was. I remember being really stressed waiting to be called and mortified when all my old mouldy sambos fell out.

    Good times..


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    #48
    Ihatecuddles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    jonny666 wrote: »
    I used to do this too. I dunno why haha. In 1st / 2nd class something went missing from the classroom and we all had to go to the front of the class and empty out our schoolbags to see who the robber was. I remember being really stressed waiting to be called and mortified when all my old mouldy sambos fell out.

    Good times..

    I'm so glad it wasn't just me!!! :D we're all gross together!


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    #49
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,909 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    Went to Australia with my OH when I was 19. I knew my mum would probably go in and do a massive cleanup on my room while I was gone, so the week before I left I got rid of a bag of weed, roller and numerous packs of skins from a little box under my bed. Sorted, or so I thought. I'd forgotten about the bag I referred to as my 'bag of debauchery' basically the bag I brought any time myself and the OH got away for a night together. It contained two sets of handcuffs, a couple of bottles of that warming and cooling lube, blindfold, cock ring and a couple of other bits (this is 100% true BTW, not making this up!). When I got home from Oz, my mum had indeed cleaned up my room. I found all the things from the bag neatly tucked away in a box in the bottom of my wardrobe. Nothing was ever said about it. I just pray it was my mum who found it and not my dad, he'd be scarred for life.


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    #50
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    Gatling wrote: »
    250 copies of the Pamela Anderson sex tape when it originally came out,
    Wardrobe was full of tapes ready to sell

    Proper gangsta. You must have been well popular in school. :D


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    #51
    herisson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,676 ✭✭✭✭herisson


    Cigarette boxes, lighters and vodka bottles when i was younger

    My crop, my vibrators, rope, condoms and lube.


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    #52
    rambutman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 287 ✭✭rambutman


    about 10,000 magic mushrooms. not a good day.


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    #53
    fleet_admiral
    Registered Users Posts: 3,750 ✭✭✭fleet_admiral


    Gatling wrote: »
    250 copies of the Pamela Anderson sex tape when it originally came out,
    Wardrobe was full of tapes ready to sell
    should have patted you on the back for being enterprising


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    #54
    Boskowski
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,361 ✭✭✭Boskowski


    Dad walked in on me while cutting a lump of stash in two halves. :o
    He says what are you doing and all I could think of was saying thats an eraser and its too big for the pencil case. He left it at that and I thought how cool was that only to find out years later he knew exactly what it was but he left me off for creativity's sake or something.


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    #55
    Sinister Kid
    Registered Users Posts: 7,503 ✭✭✭Sinister Kid


    My stash box :D


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    #56
    Duffman K
    Registered Users Posts: 127 ✭✭Duffman K


    Accidentally kicked a hole in one of my bedroom walls, scared of the reaction I just covered it with a poster for months.

    Nobody had a clue it was there, until it became time to repaint the room anyway.


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    #57
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    Hash and a really filthy porno.


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    #58
    ulinbac
    Registered Users Posts: 707 ✭✭✭ulinbac


    Lube and the gurlfriends netted dress from Ann Summers


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    #59
    bumper234
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭bumper234


    A Kabar, fully loaded 9mm and £2500 in cash (1993)


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    #60
    Pumpkinseeds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,635 ✭✭✭Pumpkinseeds


    I'd forgotten about the weed I had to hide in my room for my brother's girlfriend. He was going out with this 15 year old French exchange student when he was a teenager. She was more like 30 than 15 in attitude. He sneaked her into his room in the middle of the night and she had the cannabis with her.

    My Dad went ape sh*t the next morning as he was in the shipping business and totally paranoid that his business would be raided, don't know why he thought that. Anyway I bowed to emotional blackmail from my brother and hid it in my room and he hung me for it, the git. I took the blame for it. Somehow it was better for his 18 year old daughter to be getting stoned in the house than his son's 15 year old girlfriend smuggling dope for personal use from France to Ireland.


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    #61
    castletownman
    Registered Users Posts: 11,126 ✭✭✭✭castletownman


    One of the most embarrassing moments of my early teenage years was when my father and cousin were doing a bit of furniture moving and my mother found a couple of "used" page 3 pictures under my bed.

    Cousin laughed his head off. I was morto. Wouldn't mind if it was decent porn too.


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