If you could redesign the human body

jaffacakesyum · 23-05-2013 5:33pm #1

I'd get rid of the stupid appendix for a start. I'd probably redesign the whole method of vision too; Maybe add more eyes or have a visor type organ so that you can have 360 degree vision.

When women are not pregnant, they should be able to lactate beer. (When pregant, the system of milk is fine).

I'd definitely rethink male genetalia too. Have no problem with a nice looking cock :pac: but I'd design some different system for sperm as I just don't like large sagging ballsacks. Think God could've done better with that one.

What would you do?

Predictable responses: Bigger díck, boobs etc. :pac: (Don't get me wrong AH replies welcome and encouraged but be original

)

wesf · 23-05-2013 5:35pm

little flaps to cover ear holes when your girlfriend is wrecking your buzz

Prodigious · 23-05-2013 5:36pm

A better brain is first on the list.

KeithM89 · 23-05-2013 5:36pm

Fewer places for hair to grow, especially on women.

Dave0301 · 23-05-2013 5:36pm

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I'd get rid of the stupid appendix for a start. I'd probably redesign the whole method of vision too; Maybe add more eyes or have a visor type organ so that you can have 360 degree vision.

When women are not pregnant, they should be able to lactate beer. (When pregant, the system of milk is fine).

I'd definitely rethink male genetalia too. Have no problem with a nice looking cock :pac: but I'd design some different system for sperm as I just don't like large sagging ballsacks. Think God could've done better with that one.

What would you do?

Predictable responses: Bigger díck, boobs etc. :pac: (Don't get me wrong AH replies welcome and encouraged but be original )

So you are anti ball sacs, but are all for some sort of visor organ around a person's head....riiiiiiight!

SimonTemplar · 23-05-2013 5:36pm

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I'd get rid of the stupid appendix for a start. I'd probably redesign the whole method of vision too; Maybe add more eyes or have a visor type organ so that you can have 360 degree vision.

When women are not pregnant, they should be able to lactate beer. (When pregant, the system of milk is fine).

I'd definitely rethink male genetalia too. Have no problem with a nice looking cock :pac: but I'd design some different system for sperm as I just don't like large sagging ballsacks. Think God could've done better with that one.

What would you do?

Predictable responses: Bigger díck, boobs etc. :pac: (Don't get me wrong AH replies welcome and encouraged but be original )

The ability to shut off you hearing (like eyelids for ears) would be nice for certain situations.

NothingMan · 23-05-2013 5:37pm

4 asses!

Nino Brown · 23-05-2013 5:38pm

Have you ever been on a plane or something, and you were dying for a piss, and parched with the thirst at the same time. Surely something could be worked out there.

seamus · 23-05-2013 5:38pm

Un-stubbable toes.

ScumLord · 23-05-2013 5:38pm

NothingMan wrote: »

4 asses!

I be content with fixing the one we have, 4 ases just means 4 times more hemorrhoids.

jaffacakesyum · 23-05-2013 5:38pm

Dave0301 wrote: »

So you are anti ball sacs, but are all for some sort of visor organ around a person's head....riiiiiiight!

It's only weird because it's not the norm. Remember, I'm talking about changes that would be implemented "at the dawn of time" so you'd know no better than having 10 eyes or beer nipples or whatever :pac:

donvito99 · 23-05-2013 5:39pm

That you, Karl Pilkington?

23-05-2013 5:43pm

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

When women are not pregnant, they should be able to lactate beer. (When pregant, the system of milk is fine).

Surely milk comes into it's own AFTER the pregnancy part? It's not much use before the baby comes, now is it?

Unless you're too lazy to go the shops and you hate black coffee.

wesf · 23-05-2013 5:43pm

SimonTemplar wrote: »

The ability to shut off you hearing (like eyelids for ears) would be nice for certain situations.

I see you didn't read the whole thread!

Cody Pomeray · 23-05-2013 5:49pm

Surely some sort of in-built anti-gravity mechanism wouldn't have been a lot to ask.

And lazers. We need lazer eyes.

23-05-2013 5:49pm

Biting the inside of your mouth should be impossible some way.

lahalane · 23-05-2013 5:50pm

No hair from the neck down.
No toenails.
Join all the molars, premolars, incisors and canines into one big, long tooth on top and bottom.

mikom · 23-05-2013 5:51pm

A system of shark teeth.

Fuck this "once they're gone, they're gone" bollox.

robman60 · 23-05-2013 5:51pm

Main modifications I'd make:

-Somewhere around the diaphragm would have an in built air sack in case of oxygen deprivation.
-80% of your recommended calorie intake is burned to maintain body temperature and basic bodily functions, so the body having the ability to moderate its temperature in order to conserve energy.

Main point:
-Clean up the (w)hole defecation process. The "product" would be released wrapped in a cling film like substance produced by the body, no toilet paper required.

El Guapo! · 23-05-2013 5:52pm

A kind of built in thermostat so you can regulate your body temperature.

And I'd devise something that makes getting a kick in the bollox less painful.

KeithM89 · 23-05-2013 5:54pm

No gag reflex would be great.
Maybe some wings too :P

23-05-2013 5:55pm

El Guapo! wrote: »

A kind of built in thermostat so you can regulate your body temperature.

You don't have this? Are you some kind of reptile?
You missed an evolutionary memo or something.

El Guapo! · 23-05-2013 5:57pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

You don't have this? Are you some kind of reptile?
You missed an evolutionary memo or something.

Yeah. I'm fcukin freezin.

I meant so you're not too cold or too warm you can adjust it whenever you like!

jaffacakesyum · 23-05-2013 5:58pm

Deleted User wrote: »

You don't have this? Are you some kind of reptile?
You missed an evolutionary memo or something.

Yeh in fairness, the body is pretty amazing at temperature, water/salt etc. regulation.

Great ideas though lads, keep em coming. I'd love a pair of wings

DeVore · 23-05-2013 6:01pm

The human body is incredibly badly designed. I have to laugh at the "Intelligent Design" crowd, cos if this is the pinnacle of "God's" ability... he's crap at design.

I mean, who puts the "waste disposal" system beside the "playground".

jonnny68 · 23-05-2013 6:01pm

Teeth that don't decay or rot saving having to visit rip off dentists, 7 fingers on each hand, 3D vision,

kraggy · 23-05-2013 6:03pm

Poo like a dog so we don't haveto wipe.

And some way for the wimmin to pee standing up so we don't have to wait for them while they're queuing for a much sought after cubicle.

jaffacakesyum · 23-05-2013 6:03pm

DeVore wrote: »

The human body is incredibly badly designed. I have to laugh at the "Intelligent Design" crowd, cos if this is the pinnacle of "God's" ability... he's crap at design.

I mean, who puts the "waste disposal" system beside the "playground".

I agree. But where would you put it?

*horror visions of **** vomitting out your mouth* :eek:

Maybe the belly button could be put to better use! :pac:

WinterSong · 23-05-2013 6:05pm

No periods, duh

The Backwards Man · 23-05-2013 6:07pm

I want a longer tongue.

Cody Pomeray · 23-05-2013 6:08pm

jonnny68 wrote: »

7 fingers on each hand

I agree with this one.

I've always felt that we don't truly have enough fingers.

If you could redesign the human body

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