Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Immaculate deception: 'I don't regret tricking my boyfriend into having kids'

Options
1356

Comments

  • Options
    #62
    Ectoplasm
    Registered Users Posts: 4,468 ✭✭✭Ectoplasm


    Chimpokomon wrote: »
    Many men still act the man-child in their 30s nowadays, with it never once crossing their minds that their partner doesn't have the same luxury of time that they do (if they're the same age). Not justifying it, but if a woman is in her 30s, and he is still giving her the 'someday' spiel, you can see how it might happen.

    I really really can NOT see how it might happen. I'm a woman in my thirties and I think that doing this is an utterly selfish and cowardly act. This is a case of forcing your* will upon someone else and deciding that you know what is best for them. The sheer arrogance of that is breathtaking.

    Yes, as a woman in my thirties I'm aware that if I want to have kids I need to do it in the next few years. Given that I am inclined towards having kids I've already looked into how to have a child by myself and you know what - it's not that complicated. Accidents do happen but there is NO excuse for doing something like this deliberately.

    *generic you


  • Options
    #63
    theg81der
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,644 ✭✭✭theg81der


    Absolutely hate this kind of thing gives all women a bad name imo. My hubby wasn`t sure if he wanted another kid as he has a 13 year old who he was tricked into having by his ex.

    We`re together 11 years now, so I gave him time and space to decide and he did - we`re expecting our very wanted baby this week and I love that it was a decision we made together and I would never have had it any other way.

    I do believe that men should take more responsibility to know their partners well and to use precautions if they feel strongly that they`re not ready for children.

    I have seen this so much thou with women - "oh I didn`t know the pill didn`t work if you had diarrhea/flu/vomiting woopsy!" I`m thinking - BS I know you knew that/you didn`t have that/you would have had to take it for that to be the case.

    People will jump down my throats for saying accidents are bs but they really are mostly.


  • Options
    #64
    Boombastic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,496 ✭✭✭Boombastic


    I wonder about all the 'accidents' when the woman swears blind that she was using contraception.


  • Options
    #65
    le la rat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,072 ✭✭✭le la rat


    kylith wrote: »
    What a fantastic slogan!

    Brilliant alright


  • Options
    #66
    girl in the striped socks
    Registered Users Posts: 653 ✭✭✭girl in the striped socks


    Boombastic wrote: »
    I wonder about all the 'accidents' when the woman swears blind that she was using contraception.
    It does happen. The pill isn't 100% safe.
    Not all women who happen to fall pregnant while on the pill planned it as some elaborate plan to trap a man or have a baby that they want.
    But there's plenty of nut jobs who do go down the route of deliberately getting pregnant whilst pretending to be on the pill.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #67
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    theg81der wrote: »
    I have seen this so much thou with women - "oh I didn`t know the pill didn`t work if you had diarrhea/flu/vomiting woopsy!" I`m thinking - BS I know you knew that/you didn`t have that/you would have had to take it for that to be the case.

    People will jump down my throats for saying accidents are bs but they really are mostly.

    It's amazing how skipping/missing the pill for a single day makes women ultra-fertile.


  • Options
    #68
    IzzyWizzy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,645 ✭✭✭IzzyWizzy


    Deleted User wrote: »
    It's amazing how skipping/missing the pill for a single day makes women ultra-fertile.

    Do you understand how the pill works? Missing one pill can be enough to let you ovulate.


  • Options
    #69
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    IzzyWizzy wrote: »
    Do you understand how the pill works? Missing one pill can be enough to let you ovulate.

    Yeah and every ovulation apparently leads to pregnancy.


  • Options
    #70
    Millicent
    Registered Users Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Yeah and every ovulation apparently leads to pregnancy.

    I know a few Turkish tummy babies. I have also spoken with quite a few people who were unaware and not advised by their doctor that taking a certain medication could totally prevent their pill from working.

    Both partners need to take responsibility for contraception so a condom is always a good idea, if even to protect against STDs.


  • Options
    #71
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Millicent wrote: »
    I know a few Turkish tummy babies. I have also spoken with quite a few people who were unaware and not advised by their doctor that taking a certain medication could totally prevent their pill from working.

    Both partners need to take responsibility for contraception so a condom is always a good idea, if even to protect against STDs.

    Don't worry, I'd never be stupid enough to ever trust a woman who claimed she was on the pill and didn't want me to use a condom.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #72
    theg81der
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,644 ✭✭✭theg81der


    The pill failure rate is 0.2% per year - says it all.


  • Options
    #73
    IzzyWizzy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,645 ✭✭✭IzzyWizzy


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Yeah and every ovulation apparently leads to pregnancy.

    The chances of a pregnancy occurring from unprotected sex are very high. It doesn't matter whether you missed one pill or whether you never bother with contraception. If you ovulate, you can get pregnant. I don't understand why you think it's so unlikely. It really isn't.

    For those quoting statistics - when the pill is taken perfectly, it's very effective. If you miss one or a few (or it interacts with medication or you have a stomach bug), it's next to useless.


  • Options
    #74
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    IzzyWizzy wrote: »
    The chances of a pregnancy occurring from unprotected sex are very high. It doesn't matter whether you missed one pill or whether you never bother with contraception. If you ovulate, you can get pregnant. I don't understand why you think it's so unlikely. It really isn't.

    It's not as likely as 100%. Though I know if someone was having trouble conceiving my first advice would be to go on the pill for a few weeks, skip a day and bang, 100% success rate.


  • Options
    #75
    Boombastic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,496 ✭✭✭Boombastic


    Are the pill and condoms the only type of contraception available in Ireland?:pac:

    Considering the high rate of pill 'failure' shouldn't we be looking at more effective contraceptions?


  • Options
    #76
    IzzyWizzy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,645 ✭✭✭IzzyWizzy


    Deleted User wrote: »
    It's not as likely as 100%. Though I know if someone was having trouble conceiving my first advice would be to go on the pill for a few weeks, skip a day and bang, 100% success rate.

    Oh, it's only about 25% likely. Yeah, you're right, that's not a huge risk at all. :rolleyes: I really don't think you understand how the pill works. If you miss one and ovulate and have sex, you might as well have never been on the pill at all. I think some people really have their heads in the sand.


  • Options
    #77
    Thwip!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,234 ✭✭✭Thwip!


    I misread as Immaculate Decepticon, gave me a wholly different expectation of this thread


  • Options
    #78
    Millicent
    Registered Users Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Boombastic wrote: »
    Are the pill and condoms the only type of contraception available in Ireland?:pac:

    Considering the high rate of pill 'failure' shouldn't we be looking at more effective contraceptions?

    There are a number of contraceptives available but sadly all at present (bar condoms) become the responsibility of women -- the coil, the implant, the cap, the injection etc.

    What we should see more of is allowing men to have vasectomies without the requirement that they first have children. However, the fail rate for vasectomy is about 2 in every 100 so condoms or some other contraceptive should also be used.


  • Options
    #79
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    IzzyWizzy wrote: »
    Oh, it's only about 25% likely. Yeah, you're right, that's not a huge risk at all. :rolleyes: I really don't think you understand how the pill works. If you miss one and ovulate and have sex, you might as well have never been on the pill at all. I think some people really have their heads in the sand.
    Still a lot less than the apparent 100%.


  • Options
    #80
    Millicent
    Registered Users Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Don't worry, I'd never be stupid enough to ever trust a woman who claimed she was on the pill and didn't want me to use a condom.

    Em, she may not know her pill is not working. Quite a few couples choose to go pill only as they prefer sex without condoms. It's not a case of being "stupid enough" to trust a woman; it's about knowing the incumbent risks that come with this and all contraceptives.


  • Options
    #81
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Millicent wrote: »
    Em, she may not know her pill is not working. Quite a few couples choose to go pill only as they prefer sex without condoms. It's not a case of being "stupid enough" to trust a woman; it's about knowing the incumbent risks that come with this and all contraceptives.

    It's not that I don't trust women, I don't trust anyone, it just happens that it's quite unlikely that I could partake in an activity with a man that could end up with me paying for a kid I didn't want for the rest of my life and all the other crap that would go along with it.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #82
    Boombastic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,496 ✭✭✭Boombastic


    Millicent wrote: »
    There are a number of contraceptives available but sadly all at present (bar condoms) become the responsibility of women -- the coil, the implant, the cap, the injection etc.

    What we should see more of is allowing men to have vasectomies without the requirement that they first have children. However, the fail rate for vasectomy is about 2 in every 100 so condoms or some other contraceptive should also be used.

    The problem with the pill relies on the woman to take it every day. Condoms should always be used until both are cleared of stds.

    Contraceptive implants and injections are long-acting, effective, reversible and progestogen-only methods of contraception. They are over 99% reliable in preventing pregnancy. This means that fewer than 1 in 100 women who use the implant or injection will become pregnant each year. The injection is given every 12 weeks and the implant lasts for 3 years.


  • Options
    #83
    IzzyWizzy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,645 ✭✭✭IzzyWizzy


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Still a lot less than the apparent 100%.

    What are you on about? You think 100% of woman who miss a pill get pregnant?

    .................................OK.

    Just because you reckon that every woman you know who missed a pill got pregnant 'accidentally', that doesn't change the fact that the chance of pregnancy from a missed pill + unprotected sex is very high.

    Pills fail. Fact. All it takes is a bad bout of vomiting or diarrhoea, which can even occur after the unprotected sex when it's too late to do anything about it. People who think they're mature enough to have sex should also be mature enough to realise that accidents happen and be prepared to accept things not going their way.


  • Options
    #84
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    IzzyWizzy wrote: »
    What are you on about? You think 100% of woman who miss a pill get pregnant?

    .................................OK.

    Just because you reckon that every woman you know who missed a pill got pregnant 'accidentally', that doesn't change the fact that the chance of pregnancy from a missed pill + unprotected sex is very high.

    Pills fail. Fact. All it takes is a bad bout of vomiting or diarrhoea, which can even occur after the unprotected sex when it's too late to do anything about it. People who think they're mature enough to have sex should also be mature enough to realise that accidents happen and be prepared to accept things not going their way.

    Yah it's somewhat coloured by what I've come across. I can't think of a girl who had a kid who I or someone close to me would be close enough to get an honest answer from who didn't do it on purpose. The main thing is those who would open up would admit it while those who don't claim the missed pill, amazing how later they'll admit some intent.


  • Options
    #85
    Madam_X
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,327 ✭✭✭Madam_X


    Boombastic wrote: »
    I wonder about all the 'accidents' when the woman swears blind that she was using contraception.
    Why can't you accept most of them are accidents (no quote-marks needed)?
    Deleted User wrote: »
    It's amazing how skipping/missing the pill for a single day makes women ultra-fertile.
    What about all the women who don't get pregnant because of missing a pill? You're only focusing on those who do, as if they're all or most of them.

    Seems some folk want it to be the case that accidental pregnancies are not really accidental.
    Maybe consider the fact that most rational women don't want an accidental pregnancy either. And as said, maybe the man shouldn't be so reliant on the woman doing all the work regarding contraception.


  • Options
    #86
    Millicent
    Registered Users Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Boombastic wrote: »
    The problem with the pill relies on the woman to take it every day. Condoms should always be used until both are cleared of stds.

    Contraceptive implants and injections are long-acting, effective, reversible and progestogen-only methods of contraception. They are over 99% reliable in preventing pregnancy. This means that fewer than 1 in 100 women who use the implant or injection will become pregnant each year. The injection is given every 12 weeks and the implant lasts for 3 years.

    The injection can be quite dangerous to some women as can the implant. If there is a side effect with the injection, for example, it will remain until the injection is out of the woman's system in two or three months time. No particular contraceptive is suitable for everyone. That said, I think the pill is often the first thing prescribed for whatever reason, whether it suits the woman or not.

    I wholeheartedly agree with what you say on condoms though. Even if both partners are cleared for STDs, it's an extra bit of security if you're both dead set on not having kids.


  • Options
    #87
    Boombastic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,496 ✭✭✭Boombastic


    Pregnant because you missed your pill /sick etc?

    The morning after pill - if you really didn't intend to get pregnant and it was an honest mistake

    @Millicent pill seems to be the most perscribed - I'm not sure why.

    Not every type of contraception will suit but there are more reliable methods than pill. Coils etc work for up to 5 years.


  • Options
    #88
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    Chimpokomon wrote: »
    Many men still act the man-child in their 30s nowadays, with it never once crossing their minds that their partner doesn't have the same luxury of time that they do (if they're the same age). Not justifying it, but if a woman is in her 30s, and he is still giving her the 'someday' spiel, you can see how it might happen.

    Translation you'd do it.


  • Options
    #89
    nibtrix
    Registered Users Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭nibtrix


    Going back to the linked article, it's fairly shocking that her idea of talking to him about the possibility of them trying to concieve involved sitting him done and saying "I think I'm pregnant".
    “I thought if he did want kids then we'd have to talk about it, so one day I sat him down and we talked. I told him my period was late and that I thought I was pregnant. At the end of that conversation, he was gone. He disappeared."
    The guy disappears for a year, finally comes back, they never mention having kids again and she decides (with the connivence of her friend) to trick him into impregnating her? Stupid bitch.


  • Options
    #90
    Boombastic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,496 ✭✭✭Boombastic


    Onixx wrote: »
    Why can't you accept most of them are accidents (no quote-marks needed)?

    Law of averages


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #91
    Millicent
    Registered Users Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Boombastic wrote: »
    Pregnant because you missed your pill /sick etc?

    The morning after pill - if you really didn't intend to get pregnant and it was an honest mistake

    @Millicent pill seems to be the most perscribed - I'm not sure why.

    Not every type of contraception will suit but there are more reliable methods than pill. Coils etc work for up to 5 years.

    Just for the first part of your post and the MAP, some women will not know that the pill is not working so won't know to take emergency contraception. St. John's Wort, for example, caused a bit of a furore a few years back as it was un-prescribed and sold in health shops. It was found to possibly affect the pill. So for those women who were taking it, thinking it's all natural and good, they wouldn't be aware that their contraceptive had failed.

    And again, just because something is more reliable doesn't mean it's safer. There are risks to the coil too, not least increased and heavier periods. No thanks!


Advertisement