Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

margarite · 15-01-2011 10:44pm

I came across this thead by chance, it can be very hard to talk about feelings and this thread would make it easier, I have being going to another thread which I though would help, but only got into trouble with someone who shall remain nameless. I think this place hopefull will help me as well as the people that write in it. How do I start, please help

RubyXI · 15-01-2011 11:38pm

margarite wrote: »

I came across this thead by chance, it can be very hard to talk about feelings and this thread would make it easier, I have being going to another thread which I though would help, but only got into trouble with someone who shall remain nameless. I think this place hopefull will help me as well as the people that write in it. How do I start, please help

Just feel free to say whatever you want. If you need to tell someone how you're feeling, then people here will understand. We mightn't be able to cure you but we'll listen and won't judge.

margarite · 16-01-2011 8:08pm

downdowndown wrote: »

heya,

i completly understand what you mean about friends not really understanding how you're feeling.
Ive been suffering from depression for the past 5 yrs (prob longer but just didnt know/accept it) and although my friends have been great in many ways (and one of the reasons why im still around) when i try to talk to them they just tell me to stop being "silly" and that i've "everything going for me and theres people out there with terrible problems".

That just makes me feel worse, tbh, cos i know that there is nothin fundamentally wrong in my life and i know others have terrible problems, but my problems are mine and they are just as relevant!

I know my friends feel awkward (which is why i dont talk about my depression with them much) so i agree that this thread is a great idea!

its funny, i can go for weeks where everything is ok and im coping with things and i feel like a 'normal' person and then suddenly im a tearful mess and just want to hide away from the world. Have just recently started counselling and can see improvements already but god, its hard and draining work!

I agree about all of what you are saying, you have to be suffering from some kind of depression to understand what you are going through, sometimes counselling feel like you are just a number and they have heard it all before, and I feel that they are not really not listening to me. So this thread is great because if something is really worrying us we can post whatever it is and because we are all going through it maybe we can help boost each other up or as strangers can look at it differently, while our friends do not understand and may seem small to them it is a big thing for us. So thanks to whoever started this thread.:)

margarite · 16-01-2011 8:10pm

intears wrote: »

I'm afraid I have been going to counselling for the past three years, even seeing a psycotherapist (sp?) for the last year and have also been seeing the mental health team up until recent months. I have for the most-part given up...I came to a decision over xmas that I needed to take a break from counselling and the guys at the hospital as I simply couldn't take it...thats where I'm at a loose end

I know there is a friends club that meets in Maynooth, they all suffer from some kind of depression, you go there once a week, you listen to the other peoples worries try give them a solution and then when it comes to your turn if you are able to speak u do so and if you are not able to speak there is no pressure put on you. They are a lovley bunch of people. Good luck.

LegacyUser · 16-01-2011 9:06pm

Hope everyone here has had a good weekend. This morning wasn't great, but the rest of the day was ok - no sign of any anxiety.Course the minute I thought to myself "today's been good"...the anxiety returned and is now sitting in my stomach gently rumbling away..!!!

Because of the new job, I've been quite tired and occasionally get the feeling that I just want to cry hysterically for no reason at all.I'm currently worried about something that happened with my OH a while ago...something I really want to get past (and would, under normal circumstances) but my obsessive thoughts keep dwelling on it.The poor guy, I feel so bad for him, he's the best in the world and he's doing his best to help me out; he feels so bad for what happened, but it's hard for him to understand that when the obsessive part of your brain kicks in, there's little you can do, but sit it out...that part of it isn't his fault at all.

Anyway, now that I've vented a bit....I hope the weekend has been ok for everyone, and intears, that you managed alright.

RubyXI · 16-01-2011 9:48pm

God people really don't understand do they? I wish people would stop telling me I'm negative. It's not like I can control it. It's not like I want to think like this or feel like this. I'm just doing my best to accept that my life is so unbearable. Accept that I might have to feel like this for the rest of my life. And yeah maybe that sounds negative but it's not like that. It's not that simple. It's when someone you think understands you says something it hurts so much. I can't cope with loosing anyone else.

LegacyUser · 16-01-2011 10:01pm

People don't understand phi3, and many don't want to.Mostly because they don't want to think about the amount of courage it takes to get through every day when you're dealing with problems in your mind.

It's not your fault, and you can deal with it. You're stronger than any of those who "understand".We all have our bad moments, but in between are better moments. Even try focusing on the better moments when you feel bad and remind yourself that sometimes, things aren't so awful, and that "This, too, shall pass."

margarite · 17-01-2011 7:04pm

intears wrote: »

As above, things have just gone way over my shoulders right now... I am in the middle of college exams at the minute, working part-time, have an extremely stressful family life (even thought I moved away 4 years ago, it has always haunted me) and a history of depression which nobody except my GP and counsellor know about.

Over the last few years, I have had my ups and downs (mainly downs) but I have always managed to pull through. Until mid-august I was on medication, the doctor felt that it wasnt working and that I would be better off recovering on my own steam...

So this week got off to a very bad start...I live the other end of the country from home and I contribute to my family as they are earning little at the moment. Thats grand and all, like its my family, I wouldn't like to see my mother or sister stuck financially...as for my father he can rot in hell for all I care. The pressure has been to give more and more money. I work all the hours that I physically can with college.

I was 'home' over xmas and told both my parents that I would be giving up my part-time job at the end of Jan as I was starting my college placement which is like 40 hours work per week, mon-fri! They were furious, they were basically saying that they wouldn't cope financially...

My problem is with all of the above and my fathers antics over the past 17 or so years, it has all literally caught up with me; I have been so upset all week, to the point I have been self-harming again, searching my drawers for old meds (anti-d's) to help settle me down but couldn't find nothing (prob luckily).

So I decided I'd go to my GP, I was in a pretty emotional state and I basically asked him out straight for meds to help me through basically...he refused, though he was probably right (not the first time in the last 3 weeks I asked).

Tonight, I am on my own...still havn't settled down and won't see anyone for the weekend, only the people I work with. I don't know how I am going to manage until Monday....I am just so stressed, shaken and upset. Things are catching up with me!

Reading what you wrote brough real tears to my eyes, what a hard time you are going through, are you able to make and list, and from that mark which things are stressing you the most. If you then want to mark which is the most stressful for you, and you feel confident to post this on this site, (if we are allowed to) maybe some of us can help you to come up with doable solutions to what ever is hurting/causing you to get so down. I hope that this works, it was an idea that I got from someone else. Good luck. I really hope that by saying this that I have not made you more confused/unhappy I really am only trying to help.

LegacyUser · 17-01-2011 8:02pm

margarite wrote: »

Reading what you wrote brough real tears to my eyes, what a hard time you are going through, are you able to make and list, and from that mark which things are stressing you the most. If you then want to mark which is the most stressful for you, and you feel confident to post this on this site, (if we are allowed to) maybe some of us can help you to come up with doable solutions to what ever is hurting/causing you to get so down. I hope that this works, it was an idea that I got from someone else. Good luck. I really hope that by saying this that I have not made you more confused/unhappy I really am only trying to help.

Thank you for you post Margarite. I think the main issue for me is my family and the pressure that my parents are putting on me now and for the past year or so particularily. I am trying to meet there demands financially... I am in college struggling academically but at the same time I feel/am working to meet an amount of money to send down home every couple weeks.

I no longer have a life for myself....all it consists of is work and college and possibly more work and little sleep...Exams are also causing me great distress at the minute, basically if I fail...I'm F**ked. I'll end up going back down the country to the hell hole that I had got away from. I simply can't go back there...repeating would also mean that I'd lose my grant making it financially unviable for me to live up here.

At this stage, I should at least have a savings account and be looking towards the future, but, I can't manage on the money I have left over from week to week and as well as that about 60% of my student grant goes back to my family....Tbh, last friday night I didn't think that I was going to see today...I literally feel as if I have had enough...Scary as that sounds its the way I feel.

I got back in contact with my GP earlier today, to see if there was someone he could get me in touch with to help me out...he's trying to find me a councellor and said he'll get back to me first thing in the morning...he's been good to me and for the most-part understands my situation. I will give it another go... I will try, I'm just no longer optomistic about my life's prospects...

LegacyUser · 17-01-2011 8:03pm

Booked a CBT session today with a counsellor.

My brain needs re-programming and I'm sick of trying to balance a new job with swooping feelings of anxiety and hysteria inside me (and it's only been 4 days!). The psychologist was not the right call for me, as I've haven't got anything to analyse, as such (as I said before).

I know I've little cause to complain compared to some other people here. I have to say, I've nothing but respect and the utmost sympathy for people who live with panic attacks and depression/depression-related illnesses.

Hopefully this will be of benefit for me. I'm so afraid of ruining the best thing in my life (my relationship) over my insecurities and obsessive thinking about my OH.

lowlife · 18-01-2011 9:57pm

lowlife wrote: »

lowlife i've edited you r post because it contains incorrect information about drugs

The following is an extract from a learned medical journal.

Olanzapine has the potential to produce a serious side effect called tardive dyskinesia . This syndrome consists of involuntary, uncoordinated movements that may appear late in therapy and not disappear even after the drug is stopped. Tardive dyskinesia involves involuntary movements of the tongue, jaw, mouth or face or other groups of skeletal muscles. The incidence of tardive dyskinesia increases with increasing age and with increasing dosage of olanzapine. Women are at greater risk than men for developing tardive dyskinesia. There is no known effective treatment for tardive dyskinesia, although gradual (but rarely complete) improvement may occur over a long period.

sam34 · 18-01-2011 11:56pm

you gave incorrect information about olanzapine being the same as another drug which is why your post was deleted.

and yes, this particular drug has side- effects. as do all drugs. it is up to an individual to discuss with their doctor whether the risks outweigh the benefits for them.

please do not come on here scare-mongering about particular drugs and issuing blanket warnings against them.

lastly, if you have a problem with this mod instruction please pm me. dont derail the thread by discussing it here.

LegacyUser · 19-01-2011 6:39am

I've being checking this thread for so long now, and thought I'd add my story to it.

I went through a really tough time this past Summer. I never dealt with depression/GAD before then, but it was like a train crash, one day I was fine the next it was like I became a whole different story. It was all health related and one thing lead to another. Before I knew it I was sitting in a psychartrists office telling her everything. All I remember from the Summer was always being in the doctors office and crying.

But I don't like to think of where I'd be now if I never went to my GP and told him everything. I am now on 15mg of Mirap. The psychartrist said that she doesn't think I need counsling or CBT but I go to Aware support groups and find them very very helpful. The first few times I went I didn't open my mouth but then I got to know everyone an it was great being able to open up.

I don't really know the point of me writing this post, just want people to know that no matter how bad it seems ( and believe me I have being there. ) There is always hope.

margarite · 20-01-2011 6:15am

intears wrote: »

Thank you for you post Margarite. I think the main issue for me is my family and the pressure that my parents are putting on me now and for the past year or so particularily. I am trying to meet there demands financially... I am in college struggling academically but at the same time I feel/am working to meet an amount of money to send down home every couple weeks.

I no longer have a life for myself....all it consists of is work and college and possibly more work and little sleep...Exams are also causing me great distress at the minute, basically if I fail...I'm F**ked. I'll end up going back down the country to the hell hole that I had got away from. I simply can't go back there...repeating would also mean that I'd lose my grant making it financially unviable for me to live up here.

At this stage, I should at least have a savings account and be looking towards the future, but, I can't manage on the money I have left over from week to week and as well as that about 60% of my student grant goes back to my family....Tbh, last friday night I didn't think that I was going to see today...I literally feel as if I have had enough...Scary as that sounds its the way I feel.

I got back in contact with my GP earlier today, to see if there was someone he could get me in touch with to help me out...he's trying to find me a councellor and said he'll get back to me first thing in the morning...he's been good to me and for the most-part understands my situation. I will give it another go... I will try, I'm just no longer optomistic about my life's prospects...

I apologise for this in advance, how badly do your family need the money that you send down to them. This seems to the most stressful thing that is happening to you. Remember you need some time to relax so that you can get through your exams. I m sorry u do not have to answer this if you do not want to. Forgive me asking please, I m only trying to help.

LegacyUser · 20-01-2011 12:43pm

margarite wrote: »

I apologise for this in advance, how badly do your family need the money that you send down to them. This seems to the most stressful thing that is happening to you. Remember you need some time to relax so that you can get through your exams. I m sorry u do not have to answer this if you do not want to. Forgive me asking please, I m only trying to help.

Hi Margarite,

Basically they maintain that they do need the money for bills and that because they are not earning much money and have to keep my sister going as well. The problem that I have no with sending on the money is:
1. Is the money going where it's supposed to be going?
2. How much harder am I going to have to work to support them...I'm not physically able to do much more...I'm wrecked as I am.

As for exams, I am super stressed about them. Not looking too god that I'm going to pass them even though I am trying my best to get through!

I have arranged an appointment this afternoon with a councellor after ringing GP on monday he felt that it was worth another go...I'm trying to get by one day at a time and if I can get through the next two weeks...I should be okay...

LegacyUser · 20-01-2011 6:56pm

Well done intears.Sometimes it's good just to have another person listen to your story. I had my first counselling appt this week too, and I have to say, it went well.Having been previously unimpressed by a psychology appt, I wasn't holding out too much hope, but I liked the counsellor and hopefully it'll go well for me.....and for you too.

I hope your exams go ok - all you can do is give it your best shot.It's a stressful time, but you will get through.

DM addict · 20-01-2011 7:55pm

intears wrote: »

Basically they maintain that they do need the money for bills and that because they are not earning much money and have to keep my sister going as well. The problem that I have no with sending on the money is:
1. Is the money going where it's supposed to be going?
2. How much harder am I going to have to work to support them...I'm not physically able to do much more...I'm wrecked as I am.

As for exams, I am super stressed about them. Not looking too god that I'm going to pass them even though I am trying my best to get through!

I have arranged an appointment this afternoon with a councellor after ringing GP on monday he felt that it was worth another go...I'm trying to get by one day at a time and if I can get through the next two weeks...I should be okay...

Intears - hope you're feeling ok. I don't understand why your family is relying on you for income. It's not your responsibility to maintain them. If they're unable to work/unable to find work, then that's what unemployment benefits are for. If they are simply unwilling... then that is unfortunate but also not your fault.

you're clearly under a lot of stress and I don't think your family understands how much pressure they're putting on you. have you tried explaining to them?

hope the counselling goes well. Exams are always a stress - just have to get through it!

Keep holding on chuck.

LegacyUser · 20-01-2011 9:56pm

Hiya,

Thanks for replies; Councelling session today went well, but at the same time I still feel like crap, considering I have an exam in the morning, I feel screwed!

Tbh, talking to my family its usually a one way conversation; my mum asking me for money. Saying no is a huge problem...I feel even now that my family have disowned me, in some respects I don't want that to go any further, I have come to the point where since xmas I havn't gone home...I can't face it, its easier this way.

As for their income, they both maintain that they aren't earning what they used to (like who is) and the bill are a bit much for them to handle as well as keeping a house as well as him in drink I suppose! I suppose its only now I'm questioning where the money is going and even to that I got an answer of 'why do you need to know?' Like its my flipping money and if its supporting his drinking then thats it...No more.

Tbh, I still feel a bit tangled and can't fully deal with this mess atm. I am barely getting through but as I said to someone today last friday night I didnt think I'd be here Monday and this is now thusday, so thats a good sign!

DM addict · 20-01-2011 10:05pm

intears wrote: »

Hiya,

Thanks for replies; Councelling session today went well, but at the same time I still feel like crap, considering I have an exam in the morning, I feel screwed!

Tbh, talking to my family its usually a one way conversation; my mum asking me for money. Saying no is a huge problem...I feel even now that my family have disowned me, in some respects I don't want that to go any further, I have come to the point where since xmas I havn't gone home...I can't face it, its easier this way.

As for their income, they both maintain that they aren't earning what they used to (like who is) and the bill are a bit much for them to handle as well as keeping a house as well as him in drink I suppose! I suppose its only now I'm questioning where the money is going and even to that I got an answer of 'why do you need to know?' Like its my flipping money and if its supporting his drinking then thats it...No more.

Tbh, I still feel a bit tangled and can't fully deal with this mess atm. I am barely getting through but as I said to someone today last friday night I didnt think I'd be here Monday and this is now thusday, so thats a good sign!

Still being there the next morning is always a good sign

I would refuse to pay your parents anymore money until they provide you with their weekly income/outgoings. I know you're taking a lot of **** from them and it's REALLY unfair, but sometimes families are like that. I've had my share of issues with family in the last year or two, and I've found that keeping my distance from them has really helped - that and bitching about them

You're an adult, you have your own life. You have to live your own life for yourself, not for your parents. I know that is tough to do, but it is for the best. They'll always be your family, and you can always work to rebuild your relationship when you're in a better place emotionally.

LegacyUser · 20-01-2011 10:16pm

DM addict wrote: »

Still being there the next morning is always a good sign

I would refuse to pay your parents anymore money until they provide you with their weekly income/outgoings. I know you're taking a lot of **** from them and it's REALLY unfair, but sometimes families are like that. I've had my share of issues with family in the last year or two, and I've found that keeping my distance from them has really helped - that and bitching about them

You're an adult, you have your own life. You have to live your own life for yourself, not for your parents. I know that is tough to do, but it is for the best. They'll always be your family, and you can always work to rebuild your relationship when you're in a better place emotionally.

Ya no yer right, there's only so much **** a person can take, and I'm taking no more! I'm just simply looking to tomorrow and taking each day as it comes.

Cutting off ties since xmas hasn't been easy but yet again..I'm not fully cut off if I'm still sending them money, like I'm barely surviving on what I have, not to have to support them as well!

Princess Peach · 20-01-2011 10:47pm

Had a couple of good days, but now I'm back to being just as down as ever. I've increased my dosage back up and I'm on the wait list for a new counselor, but I've been through all this before. I'm just starting to lose hope that I'll ever be happy for a long time, and that any good days I have will soon be turned around and I'll be back to whats usual for me.

margarite · 21-01-2011 2:15am

intears wrote: »

Hi Margarite,

Basically they maintain that they do need the money for bills and that because they are not earning much money and have to keep my sister going as well. The problem that I have no with sending on the money is:
1. Is the money going where it's supposed to be going?
2. How much harder am I going to have to work to support them...I'm not physically able to do much more...I'm wrecked as I am.

As for exams, I am super stressed about them. Not looking too god that I'm going to pass them even though I am trying my best to get through!

I have arranged an appointment this afternoon with a councellor after ringing GP on monday he felt that it was worth another go...I'm trying to get by one day at a time and if I can get through the next two weeks...I should be okay...

Well just say for the next two weeks u do not send any money down to your family, if they call u do not answer and look after just yourself for those two weeks, how would you feel. Put yourself first for once, your sister can get a job cleaning just like my niece did when she had to pay only half of her college fees, why should it all be put on you. It is just to much to expect from one person. The stress it is putting on you is only going to affect your life, all that study for what letting go of things just for the few weeks. I did attend a councellor and was advised to put myself first take care of myself, and when I am able and ready to slowly let me take back control of my life at a pace that is good for me. All I m saying is just for those few weeks while your exams are on that you do not need that extra pressure. As you say yourself you are not sure that the money is going to where it should be going. This is for the rest of your life and you may only get this opportunity to succeed. After you have finished the exams you can look at things again when you are not stressed! What do you think?

LegacyUser · 21-01-2011 7:20pm

margarite wrote: »

Well just say for the next two weeks u do not send any money down to your family, if they call u do not answer and look after just yourself for those two weeks, how would you feel. Put yourself first for once, your sister can get a job cleaning just like my niece did when she had to pay only half of her college fees, why should it all be put on you. It is just to much to expect from one person. The stress it is putting on you is only going to affect your life, all that study for what letting go of things just for the few weeks. I did attend a councellor and was advised to put myself first take care of myself, and when I am able and ready to slowly let me take back control of my life at a pace that is good for me. All I m saying is just for those few weeks while your exams are on that you do not need that extra pressure. As you say yourself you are not sure that the money is going to where it should be going. This is for the rest of your life and you may only get this opportunity to succeed. After you have finished the exams you can look at things again when you are not stressed! What do you think?

I havn't had contact now for like 48 hours; weird in some respects! As for my sister, she's only 14 next month so she's a bit young for work yet...

I have just had another exam this morning, didn't go as planned then again none of them have gone as planned just yet! Was thinking there today of having a word with my tutor and explaining my situation, but I don't want to seem weak or anything, I am trying to get by.

The councellor explained to me that they could take my circumstances into account if I got a letter from her and my doctor supporting my case. I am seriously thinking of doing this next week, if it helps me pass exams would be one less worry!

After next friday, exams are finished; time then to focus on what to do with home: one thing is for sure there getting no more money until I find out where its going!

C_Dawg · 23-01-2011 1:45am

Just when things seem to be going alright a load of drastic changes at work once again have me in a world of worry :mad:

R_a_u_l · 23-01-2011 7:09pm

First time poster, long time reader of this thread.

I have suffered from anxiety and depression for upwards of 10 years but did not do anything about it until about 2 years ago when it started to get the better of me, with me struggling to keep it together at work.

I have been on and off antidepressants (currently back on for 5 weeks) and unfortunately have not found one that has worked for me. I live alone, in a rural village and have become quite isolated - hence boards.ie has become a source of advice and comfort in the absence of having someone to talk things through with.

Through my GP I have sought a referral to Psychriatric services - requested last October and heard nothing back. I have also sought a referal to a neurologist/MRI scan 2 weeks ago (my vision is constantly blurred, getting headaches and have a frequent crawling sensation in back and chest) and have not heard anything back yet.

How long should I be waiting to get to see a specialist before I start chasing my GP or should I look to find another GP?? I am quite reserved and don't like to push unreasonably, but I am going out of my mind with worry that I have MS or something and would really like to find out 1 way or the other.

I anyone could advise on how to get to see a specialist I would be greatful.

sistasista · 23-01-2011 11:37pm

Hi I really need some help at the moment. I think my sister may be suffering from depression and am afraid of saying the wrong thing all the time. She had a health scare a couple of years ago and has never felt right since. The doctors cannot find anything and she's had loads of different types of tests. The thing is, my mother has just been diagnosed with cancer, so of course that has become everyones priority. Except for my sister, dont get me wrong she's really good with my mother most of the time. But today I found her crying with my mother today saying she sick of feeling unwell. I was soooo annoyed with her, I hid it but to be honest I just cant believe she did this. Theres plenty of us in the family who she can come and talk to.. we've all been doing our best for her. It just really frustrates me that she cant at least put on a brave front for my mothers sake. I want to say this to her but I'm so terrified of saying the wrong thing and putting her over the edge. Help... I'm at the end of my tether.

margarite · 25-01-2011 2:26am

C_Dawg wrote: »

Just when things seem to be going alright a load of drastic changes at work once again have me in a world of worry :mad:

Please try and not worry, this will affect your performance and put more pressure to deliver, think of something nice when you feel yourself getting pressured just for a minute and then take your time while still working, until you feel less pressured. It always works for me. Good Luck but won t need it.

margarite · 25-01-2011 2:33am

R_a_u_l wrote: »

First time poster, long time reader of this thread.

I have suffered from anxiety and depression for upwards of 10 years but did not do anything about it until about 2 years ago when it started to get the better of me, with me struggling to keep it together at work.

I have been on and off antidepressants (currently back on for 5 weeks) and unfortunately have not found one that has worked for me. I live alone, in a rural village and have become quite isolated - hence boards.ie has become a source of advice and comfort in the absence of having someone to talk things through with.

Through my GP I have sought a referral to Psychriatric services - requested last October and heard nothing back. I have also sought a referal to a neurologist/MRI scan 2 weeks ago (my vision is constantly blurred, getting headaches and have a frequent crawling sensation in back and chest) and have not heard anything back yet.

How long should I be waiting to get to see a specialist before I start chasing my GP or should I look to find another GP?? I am quite reserved and don't like to push unreasonably, but I am going out of my mind with worry that I have MS or something and would really like to find out 1 way or the other.

I anyone could advise on how to get to see a specialist I would be greatful.

Unfortunately you have to push your g p again for referral but if you do not he/she will think you are coping. How accessable is your nearest town. If you go on the Aware web site or recovery website they will have the information where they have access to one of their meetings where people, in the same position can advise you in a friendly manner. Most of these people are going through what you are going through. You do not have to speak unless you want to, but maybe someone at the meeting might have the information that you want. Please try this, of come back to us with regard to what your G P. Some of the symptoms (sorry bad speller) sound like they could be stress related but still your G P will be able to tell you that they have send for a referral. Please do not isolate yourself it make everything worse. Good Luck. Take care.:)

margarite · 25-01-2011 2:51am

intears wrote: »

Hiya,

Thanks for replies; Councelling session today went well, but at the same time I still feel like crap, considering I have an exam in the morning, I feel screwed!

Tbh, talking to my family its usually a one way conversation; my mum asking me for money. Saying no is a huge problem...I feel even now that my family have disowned me, in some respects I don't want that to go any further, I have come to the point where since xmas I havn't gone home...I can't face it, its easier this way.

As for their income, they both maintain that they aren't earning what they used to (like who is) and the bill are a bit much for them to handle as well as keeping a house as well as him in drink I suppose! I suppose its only now I'm questioning where the money is going and even to that I got an answer of 'why do you need to know?' Like its my flipping money and if its supporting his drinking then thats it...No more.

Tbh, I still feel a bit tangled and can't fully deal with this mess atm. I am barely getting through but as I said to someone today last friday night I didnt think I'd be here Monday and this is now thusday, so thats a good sign!

It s a brillent sign, I agree with the person advised you about not giving the money, take care of your self. If you feel bad about not thinking of them take time out for yourself, make a your favourite drink and tell yourself its my life, I m not responsible for anybody but myself, my future and then do a plan for study time, giving yourself short breaks like say I have to get such an amount done, when you are happy with what you have achieved award yourself. Do something nice again and go on for there. I have suffered a number of years with depression and its the only way I found to help me with my study without getting to stressed. If you are still finding it hard please come back to us, we all have our problems and I know if I can I will try help people if I can.

C_Dawg · 25-01-2011 6:30pm

margarite wrote: »

Please try and not worry, this will affect your performance and put more pressure to deliver, think of something nice when you feel yourself getting pressured just for a minute and then take your time while still working, until you feel less pressured. It always works for me. Good Luck but won t need it.

Cheers for the kind words, much appreciated

I've taken to daydreaming in work so a bit of the worry is gone with that

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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