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What was the last inanimate object you swore at?

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24

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    #32
    passive
    Registered Users Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭passive


    pickarooney wrote: »
    Not only swearing at inanimate objects, but repressing them into the bargain. That's cold, man :D

    I spent yesterday doing some DIY... a shelf, a wall, a light-fitting, a screw-hook, a hacksaw and a paintbrush felt my wrath. "Prick****er" was my favoured term of endearment.

    You will be punished for this offence... Connard :P


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    #33
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,182 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    A friend of Pigheads has a fantastic manner with inanimate objects. If he's watching the telly and he's trying to change the telly with the remote but it won't work he doesn't get angry and stressed and threaten the remote with a crushing painful unforgiven death.

    No he talks calmly to the remote and lets it know exactly what the current state of play is. He'll say "Now I'm going to take out your batteries, give them a jiggle in my hand, put them back into you, give you a shake and then you are going to work" He says all this with a cool calm reassuring voice whilst petting it softly. AND IT ALWAYS WORKS. Fucker.


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    #34
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    The wireless modem. It has a habit of cutting itself off.


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    #35
    Toto Wolfcastle
    Registered Users Posts: 25,005 ✭✭✭✭Toto Wolfcastle


    My parents' computer which my brother had ruined with World of bloody Warcraft.

    Then I shouted at my dad to give me back my laptop, but he's not an inanimate object.


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    #36
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 33,044 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Pighead wrote: »
    The inanimate object which causes the worst reactions of anger and name calling has to be the sinister little pain giver that calls itself a Plug. There is no greater pain.

    Butt or vaginal?

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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    #37
    JIZZLORD
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,484 ✭✭✭JIZZLORD


    i was swearing at a locker in the gym. i had to get the lady from behind the counter to open it and she got it open with no effort whatsoever


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    #38
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    My weighing scales. You can't put on 2lbs in one day! Piece of shít.


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    #39
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,182 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    JIZZLORD wrote: »
    i was swearing at a locker in the gym. i had to get the lady from behind the counter to open it and she got it open with no effort whatsoever
    Pighead hopes that when the lady went away you went up to the locker and whispered threateningly at it "If you ever make a fool out of me again in front of a chick I'll rip off your cheap shitty aluminium door and throw it in the lake until it rusts to death"


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    #40
    Mossin
    Registered Users Posts: 2,219 ✭✭✭Mossin


    The f*cking cup of tea I was just drinking that decided to leak all down the front of my shirt, 7 minutes before a meeting with my manager :mad:


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    #41
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    scumlord wrote: »
    my Lazy Bastard Of A Tv Does That Too. A Good Punch Will Put Manners On It.
    Lol :d


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    #42
    Quality
    Registered Users Posts: 6,900 ✭✭✭Quality


    My telephone in work!:mad::mad:


    Why does the cable always have to tangle up underneath my chair? And why does the cord always get tangled up....

    A girl has gotta gossip you know!!!


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    #43
    Agent Smith
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 21,502 Mod ✭✭✭✭Agent Smith


    The Vending machine about 6 mins ago when it wouldnt give me my Orange juice


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    #44
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Mr Abigayle. And yes, I know what inanimate means.


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    #45
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,182 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    Abigayle wrote: »
    Mr Abigayle. And yes, I know what inanimate means.
    Does it mean Mr Abigayle is a blow up doll?


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    #46
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Pighead wrote: »
    Does it mean Mr Abigayle is a blow up doll?

    Might aswell be.


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    #47
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Agent Smith wrote: »
    The Vending machine about 6 mins ago when it wouldnt give me my Orange juice
    Ooh yes! Nothing incurs my wrath more than one particular brand of vending machine which sometimes doesn't actually drop the item - instead, it gets stuck. But the machine still swallows up your money.


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    #48
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,182 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    Abigayle wrote: »
    Might aswell be.
    Oh Oh. Hate to be Mr Abigayle right now. Come on Abi tell Uncle Pighead all about it. Whats the doucheball done now? Slept with your sister, lost the kids, got sick on the good rug?


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    #49
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Pighead wrote: »
    Come on Abi tell Uncle Pighead all about it. Whats the doucheball done now?

    He just made me some tea and left the sugar out. The thick fuck.


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    #50
    Toto Wolfcastle
    Registered Users Posts: 25,005 ✭✭✭✭Toto Wolfcastle


    Agent Smith wrote: »
    The Vending machine about 6 mins ago when it wouldnt give me my Orange juice

    That's just depressing. I once spent ages trying to get a bottle of Lucozade out of a vending machine and when I gave up someone came along and stole the bloody thing.


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    #51
    JerryHandbag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,543 ✭✭✭JerryHandbag


    my ipod...seriously could they not have come up with an easier method to select songs than that round selection dial thingy cos it ALWAYS goes to the track either before or after the one i want


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    #52
    cornbb
    Registered Users Posts: 6,790 ✭✭✭cornbb


    I called a Mac Pro a f*cking f*ck about 2 mins ago. I'm not gonna apologise to it. No way. Its a complete arsehole.


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    #53
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    Abigayle wrote: »
    He just made me some tea and left the sugar out. The thick fuck.

    he was making a point: wimmins make the tea


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    #54
    Third_Echelon
    Registered Users Posts: 4,889 ✭✭✭Third_Echelon


    I gave my car tyre a good swearing at this morning for deflating below the recommended 30 psi :D


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    #55
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,182 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    cornbb wrote: »
    I called a Mac Pro a f*cking f*ck about 2 mins ago. I'm not gonna apologise to it. No way. Its a complete arsehole.
    Damn right cornbb, why should you. Stick to your guns son. Mac Pro my arse. Mac Amateur more like.


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    #56
    Kinetic^
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,249 ✭✭✭✭Kinetic^


    Dudess wrote: »
    My laptop. There's so much wrong with it I wouldn't know where to start. Couldn't be arsed getting it looked at though...


    An OS re-install could sort it out. Worth a shot.


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    #57
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    The Bollox wrote: »
    he was making a point: wimmins make the tea


    Wimmens make the sex.


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    #58
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Kinetic^ wrote: »
    An OS re-install could sort it out.
    English please, nerd!


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    #59
    Sherifu
    Registered Users Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    Dudess wrote: »
    English please, nerd!
    Take the cd, put it in the drive. Turn on, press ok until the end. Take cd out. You're welcome.


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    #60
    Reku
    Registered Users Posts: 3,766 ✭✭✭Reku


    The corpse in my cupboard, bastid left bloodstains on my good knife!:mad:
    :D


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    #61
    Marucci
    Closed Accounts Posts: 28 ✭Marucci


    My 5 iron

    used the A, B, C words on it deservingly so


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