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What was the last inanimate object you swore at?

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  • 09-06-2008 9:34am
    #1
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭


    And what did you call it?

    Pighead went absolutely stone raving bananas with the lawnmower on Saturday afternoon. Its one of those lawnmowers were you pull the cord and the motor roars into action, or doesn't as was the case on Saturday.

    Threw a right tantrum at the fcuker and called it every name under the sun, including the C word (apologised to it later on, there was no need to throw out the C word.).

    Questioned its parentage and even called it fat and ugly at one stage. Waited a few seconds for a reaction, but nothing, which made Pighead even angrier. Then Mammy Pighead came out, asked what was wrong, pulled on the cord and Mr Smarmypants Lawnmower roared into action. Called Mam a smug bitch and stormed off into the sitting room muttering empty promises about never coming to visit the folks ever again.

    So what was the last inaminate object that caused you to go all Basil Fawlty?
    Tagged:


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    #2
    geuro
    Closed Accounts Posts: 336 ✭✭geuro


    yore ma!


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    #3
    c - 13
    Registered Users Posts: 5,584 ✭✭✭c - 13


    The cup that held the coffee that I spilled on my keyboard this morning.


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    #4
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    geuro wrote: »
    yore ma!
    geuro you dithering baboon do yourself a favour and look up what inaminate means! You're embarrassing yourself here pal.


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    #5
    JohnnyChimpo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,075 ✭✭✭JohnnyChimpo


    inanimate adj 1 without life; not living • inanimate objects. 2 dull; spiritless

    going by definition no.2 seems like a pretty good reason to swear at her!


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    #6
    listermint
    Registered Users Posts: 33,755 ✭✭✭✭listermint


    My Shoes!!

    I was pulling them outta my haversack and it was packed with clothes and managed to bend my nail right back shear bloody pain. dont know how i did it because i bite my nails. They got some fierce abuse!!:D


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    #7
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    JohnnyChimpo wrote: »
    going by definition no.2 seems like a pretty good reason to swear at her!
    Listen here JohnnyGimpo, Pigheads mother has more life and spirit than you'll ever have. She's a diamond in the rough, where as you're a lump of dogs poo at the bottom of the garden.


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    #8
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    My laptop. There's so much wrong with it I wouldn't know where to start. Couldn't be arsed getting it looked at though...


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    #9
    Steve_o
    Registered Users Posts: 3,432 ✭✭✭Steve_o


    I roared a few profanities at my laptop this morning... stupid wan**r froze 3 times, I had a massive discussion with it about how i would be replacing it if it didn't get its act together... i think it worked!!!


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    #10
    Doctor DooM
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,868 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    I work with computers so I pretty much spend all day swearing at inanimate
    objects.

    The bastards


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    #11
    Maximilian
    Legal Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 5,400 Mod ✭✭✭✭Maximilian


    A statue of the virgin mary


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    #12
    TeletextPear
    Registered Users Posts: 2,413 ✭✭✭TeletextPear


    the tv, it has this lovely habit of turning itself back off when you turn it on


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    #13
    passive
    Registered Users Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭passive


    Shower... The showers in the student Res here are more or less an open pipe, with a button to force the water out (which much be repressed every 30 seconds or so) and for the first 4 minutes of use the water is ice cold so, rather than being a pussy and standing outside heating it up for a while, passive has had to "man up" and deal with it... Unfortunately when one is very sleepy/otherwise in a weakened state, a sudden stream of angry cold water on your chest/back can lead to sudden bursts of ********c***b******b******sonofa*****argh****dammit****cuntcunt****! :o


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    #14
    geuro
    Closed Accounts Posts: 336 ✭✭geuro


    maybe you should have look in the dictionary instead. Then you might spell it correctly the next time.


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    #15
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    geuro, use the quote function or you'll cause confusion. It looks like you're referring to the comment above.


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    #16
    chuci
    Closed Accounts Posts: 938 ✭✭✭chuci


    cleaning out my wardrobe last night, hit my head off a shelf. think the neighbours heard the profanities. have a really bad bump.


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    #17
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    my phone, or more directly, the alarm on my phone


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    #18
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    geuro wrote: »
    maybe you should have look in the dictionary instead. Then you might spell it correctly the next time.
    The lad makes a cracking point.

    guero Pighead takes back the harsh words he threw at you earlier. You're obviously a much smarter cat than Pighead gave you credit for. Time to correct the error and put this sorry mess behind us.


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    #19
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,198 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    passive wrote: »
    Shower... The showers in the student Res here are more or less an open pipe, with a button to force the water out (which much be repressed every 30 seconds or so) and for the first 4 minutes of use the water is ice cold so, rather than being a pussy and standing outside heating it up for a while, passive has had to "man up" and deal with it... Unfortunately when one is very sleepy/otherwise in a weakened state, a sudden stream of angry cold water on your chest/back can lead to sudden bursts of ********c***b******b******sonofa*****argh****dammit****cuntcunt****! :o

    Not only swearing at inanimate objects, but repressing them into the bargain. That's cold, man :D

    I spent yesterday doing some DIY... a shelf, a wall, a light-fitting, a screw-hook, a hacksaw and a paintbrush felt my wrath. "Prick****er" was my favoured term of endearment.


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    #20
    Sherifu
    Registered Users Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    I can't remember really. Anger management.


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    #21
    Dord
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,817 ✭✭✭✭Dord


    My laptop, I smacked my foot off it when I got out of bed this morning. It was on the floor.... :o


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    #22
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    The inanimate object which causes the worst reactions of anger and name calling has to be the sinister little pain giver that calls itself a Plug. There is no greater pain.


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    #23
    Doctor DooM
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,868 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    Pighead wrote: »
    The inanimate object which causes the worst reactions of anger and name calling has to be the sinister little pain giver that calls itself a Plug. There is no greater pain.

    This is why you should leave every plug left in in your house. Sod the enviromentalists.


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    #24
    Iago
    Registered Users Posts: 6,638 ✭✭✭Iago


    Mario Kart Wii, just after getting hit by the 3rd blue shell in a row. I used the full range of my extensive cursing vocabulary...


    ...and then had to apologise to my son who was sitting there with his mouth wide open in shock :(

    I really shouldn't play computer games when he's in the room.


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    #25
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    Toasters are cunts as well. If ever you pass Pigheads kitchen and you look in and see him yelling at seemingly nobody you can be damn sure he's giving the thick dopey toaster a dressing down after its burnt yet another innocent piece of bread.


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    #26
    The Artist
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,676 ✭✭✭The Artist


    i never swear at any thing.
    wheresssssssssssss me fukcing!
    oh ****,christ god damn it! for fukcs sake my fags!


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    #27
    Defenestrate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 442 ✭✭Defenestrate


    My router when it switched itself off mid download.


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    #28
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    chair legs are the worst when you catch your baby toe on one. the frustration of knowing it's not possible to cause the chair as much pain as you have been inflicted with, coupled by the knowledge that it's your fault and multiplied by the realisation that you have been swearing non-stop at a piece of wood for the past few minutes


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    #29
    lemon_of_old
    Registered Users Posts: 232 ✭✭lemon_of_old


    The toaster that burnt my toast this morning.
    The knife that sliced my finger as I tried to butter said charcoal toast (probably not the best idea to use a steak knife for buttering)
    The coffee cup that didn't do its job right by keeping the coffee in the cup, aiming instead for all over me.


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    #30
    ScumLord
    Registered Users Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    TeletextPear wrote: »
    the tv, it has this lovely habit of turning itself back off when you turn it on
    My lazy bastard of a TV does that too. A good punch will put manners on it. The computer is another one, I can't restart it, if it's turned off it won't turn back on for half an hour. I always blame inanimate object when ever anything goes wrong, stub my toe, doors fault. Over cook me food, ovens fault.

    I find it a great way of releasing tension. The only inanimate object I don't give out to is my beloved car. Everyone else on the road gets an earful but me and the car are in it together.


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    #31
    Defenestrate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 442 ✭✭Defenestrate


    The Bollox wrote: »
    chair legs are the worst when you catch your baby toe on one. the frustration of knowing it's not possible to cause the chair as much pain as you have been inflicted with, coupled by the knowledge that it's your fault and multiplied by the realisation that you have been swearing non-stop at a piece of wood for the past few minutes

    Have to agree with that, hurts like mad and everyone else just laughs at you hopping round and cursing like a lunatic. :(


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