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Valentines Day..was it???Ladies

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    #32
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I thought she would have dound the funny side of it too. I laughed but then had to explain myself. Making me think different about her to be honest.


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    #33
    Sparky
    Registered Users Posts: 22,231 ✭✭✭✭Sparky


    Maybe he has something nicer planned for lunch tomorrow (today)??


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    #34
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Lola123 wrote: »
    Point is, people don't go out of their way show each other they care this all year long, and as another poster said, humans celebrate things on specific occasions so as far as i can see, the people that do not want to celebrate are just uncaring to their OH!!

    So totally untrue.
    Anyone in a healthy relationship will go out of their way to show their OH they care.
    This could be a romantic weekend away in a hotel or a dinner in a nice restaurant just for the hell of it. I do that on a regular basis.
    That means an awful lot more than putting someone under pressure to perform on a certain date or else s/he's in trouble.


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    #35
    Meathlass
    Registered Users Posts: 3,023 ✭✭✭Meathlass


    Deleted User wrote: »
    I thought she would have dound the funny side of it too. I laughed but then had to explain myself. Making me think different about her to be honest.

    Well I'd want the explanation first but then I'd laugh, otherwise I would be wondering who the hell 'Susan'.

    My boyfriend gave me my card and chocolates on Tuesday night. I told him it was only the 12th and he grabbed them back off me, looking mortified! Very funny though.


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    #36
    RxQueen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,821 ✭✭✭RxQueen


    Lola123 wrote: »
    I'm not saying you have to buy flowers or chocolate or whatever. It's about making the person you're with feel that extra bit special than every other day. this can be as simple as making a point of sitting down with no tv/distractions and having a bottle of wine together.
    Point is, people don't go out of their way show each other they care this all year long, and as another poster said, humans celebrate things on specific occasions so as far as i can see, the people that do not want to celebrate are just uncaring to their OH!!

    Op, has he said anything since??

    But what i dont get is why does it have to be the 14th of feb, why cant you show somebody you care about them on a random day of a random week, rather than sticking to the calender or when companies wanting to make a profit says its fit to be.

    as for sitting down like you say to have a bottle of wine without the distractions of the tv, if your OH suggested that you do this today or two weeks down the line, would it make is any less special than if it was to happend on VD? The answer is no cause, like i said before valentines day like christmas and easter is becoming a commerical rip off. Affection when shown to be geunine and not just bowing to the pressure in case you get upset, is so much more meaningfull


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    #37
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,092 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Beruthiel wrote: »
    So totally untrue.
    Anyone in a healthy relationship will go out of their way to show their OH they care.
    Exactly. It's simple good manners if nothing else.

    I had a girlfriend who loved all that sentimental schlock that I am mildly suspicious of. I still got her roses, choccies and a card etc on valentine's day.

    Even though it did nothing for me and was buying into the "bullshít of the day". She took pleasure from it. I like fishing and she would come with me although god love her she was bored out of her mind, though valiantly tried to hide that(plus she was a right on veggie type). She did it for me, not for her.

    If I'm with someone and they as an example like ballet or something I absofugginlutely hate, I will treat them to that or go with them, for them, not for me and I would expect the same courtesy from them. That's the bloody point.

    Anything else is unbelievably self centered and indeed selfish. It speaks of a person who assumes the rest of the world thinks like them and if they don't well tough. A very immature worldview. Not a good recipe for a healthy relationship, either friendship or more. It worries me that so many are so self absorbed and then they wonder why the other half takes a hissy fit. :rolleyes:

    This is not rocket science.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #38
    LaVidaLoca
    Closed Accounts Posts: 277 ✭✭LaVidaLoca


    we all know that.

    In just the same way that we know that "it's inner beauty that counts." and "love is more important than money."

    However, even if you have one of those really cool girlfriends, who says she hates Valentines Day, doesnt like shopping, and never wears pink or makes jokes about being a 'chocoholic', in short, isn't merely the standard Irish walking bag of oestregen-fuelled consumer appetites. Sadly, some deeper part of her is still pissed off that other women are getting treated well on V-Day. Might as well hedge your bets.


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    #39
    halfinch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 192 ✭✭halfinch


    Just be happy you have someone at all OP

    I went to bed holding a pineapple


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    #40
    Kenjd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭Kenjd


    Married for 4 years now and we don't do valentines. Although I did the 1st VD we were together , she liked it but said there was no need for expensive flowers! I think when people get married they tend to see the reality of life...
    My wife asked me yesterday morning what did i get her? To which i replied "for what", then we both had a good laugh. She knows i love her and thats that, some crappy card made in china isnt going to reaffirm mine or her feelings.:rolleyes:

    hahaha "Sadly, some deeper part of her is still pissed off that other women are getting treated well on V-Day"..... the reason my wife doesnt like it is cos it is shallow!!! Shes a lot deeper so VD isnt going to piss her off


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    #41
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,092 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    halfinch wrote: »
    Just be happy you have someone at all OP

    I went to bed holding a pineapple
    Off topic or frankly daft posts aren't tolerated around here. Read the charter.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #42
    TheDriver
    Registered Users Posts: 12,409 ✭✭✭✭TheDriver


    Dre: P45 isn't enough, she needs a whole redundancy package with it! Maybe a tshirt saying "My alter ego is Susan" written on it


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    #43
    aye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭aye


    halfinch wrote: »
    Just be happy you have someone at all OP

    I went to bed holding a pineapple

    lol, brilliant.

    i think she has a right to be annoyed.
    valentines is a comerical day, and all that jazz, but at the same time it doesnt take much to write happy valentines in a text and go to the shop and get a card for a fiver.

    there is nothing wrong with going the extra mile on valentines day to make your gf smile.
    valentines day has always been about the girls, i wish lads would stop making ****e excuses "she can text me first".

    relationships shouldnt be about playing a game, who contact who first, and that goes both ways.
    but i think valentines day is a day when you treat the lady a bit, sure you'll get your rock'n'roll after anyway :D

    also as for prices of flowers, chocolates etc. being over inflated, i can tell you they are over inflated at christmas too, yet no one seems to mind, and people treat they're OH at christmas more than normal but its ok. but come valentines day, its all "why should i make a big deal out of it", it's a cope out.


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    #44
    geminilady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 273 ✭✭geminilady


    i wouldnt take it personally he probably is wrecked from work. you shouldnt just focus how nice or romantic on one day of the year. If he is usually nice and thoughtful than it doesnt matter that he didnt meet at least he sent u a text


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    #45
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    aye wrote:

    there is nothing wrong with going the extra mile on valentines day to make your gf smile.
    valentines day has always been about the girls, i wish lads would stop making ****e excuses "she can text me first".

    relationships shouldnt be about playing a game, who contact who first, and that goes both ways.
    Exactly. So waiting around for him to text first and say "happy valentines" instead of getting up off your backside to tell him that is a load of nonsense.
    V-day is not/should not be an excuse for girls to throw strops when they dont get what they demand. Or didn't demand and expected the bf to magically know.


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    #46
    How Strange
    Registered Users Posts: 6,339 ✭✭✭How Strange


    Lola123 wrote: »
    I'm not saying you have to buy flowers or chocolate or whatever. It's about making the person you're with feel that extra bit special than every other day. this can be as simple as making a point of sitting down with no tv/distractions and having a bottle of wine together.
    No its not, VD is about lining the pockets of all the card manufacturers, florists, restaurants and any one else that can profit out of this ostentatious display of 'love'. Sit down tonight and switch the tv off and talk to each other but don't do it once a year on 14th Feb because Mr. Hallmark says you should.
    Point is, people don't go out of their way show each other they care this all year long, and as another poster said, humans celebrate things on specific occasions so as far as i can see, the people that do not want to celebrate are just uncaring to their OH!!
    Point is people DO go out of their way to show their care all year so why bother with a display which means very little in terms of sincerity and is more to show the world he loves me, he got me a big bunch of flowers delivered to my office to prove it.

    IMO, its a farce and I'd prefer a year full of caring than a bunch of flowers and a tacky card once a year. My bf hates going to my family do's (we have quite a lot of them) and at first he used to bitch and moan but now he goes along with no protest. That to me shows he cares because I know he still hates those situations.


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    #47
    How Strange
    Registered Users Posts: 6,339 ✭✭✭How Strange


    LaVidaLoca wrote: »
    we all know that.

    In just the same way that we know that "it's inner beauty that counts." and "love is more important than money."

    However, even if you have one of those really cool girlfriends, who says she hates Valentines Day, doesnt like shopping, and never wears pink or makes jokes about being a 'chocoholic', in short, isn't merely the standard Irish walking bag of oestregen-fuelled consumer appetites. Sadly, some deeper part of her is still pissed off that other women are getting treated well on V-Day. Might as well hedge your bets.
    Not me!


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    #48
    DaDa
    Registered Users Posts: 362 ✭✭DaDa


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Well how about this one. I ordered flowers and a teddybear for a girl i have been seeing for a few months now.

    On valentines day i got a text from her saying " whos Susan " I replied saying i dont know . I heard nothing . I got a delivery notification on email. So i was waiting to get a call or a text to say thanks . I hear nothing .

    So that evening i decided to call her as i thought she might not have got them.
    She was very short with me and asked me again who Susan was . I hadnt a clue what she was talking about . She then told me that she recieved flower's to her house and the card says to susan, "happy valentines day, from me" Problem is , this is what i said but her name is Eva. I dont even know a Susan. This was a mistake on their end.

    In the end i had to send her the order slip i had. We didnt go out that night, i stayed in my place and she stayed in her's. Things are still cold. Very big complaint going to the company i ordered from .

    Jeez... have to agree with other posters... what's her problem!?

    Offer to take the flowers back since they have offended her.

    Then you could return them to the florist and ask for your money back as you did not recieve the service you paid for.

    See what she thinks of that.


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    #49
    RuailleBuaille
    Registered Users Posts: 521 ✭✭✭RuailleBuaille


    halfinch wrote: »
    Just be happy you have someone at all OP

    I went to bed holding a pineapple

    ROFL

    My BF got me a teddy. I hate teddies! It was a nice gesture but very unneccessary, I don't buy this sh1t and neither does he but I guess he was hedging his bets also! ;)


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    #50
    Placebo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,070 ✭✭✭Placebo


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Exactly. So waiting around for him to text first and say "happy valentines" instead of getting up off your backside to tell him that is a load of nonsense.
    V-day is not/should not be an excuse for girls to throw strops when they dont get what they demand. Or didn't demand and expected the bf to magically know.

    u have to be a daft, un appreciative man to not bother with valentines with your g/f. People actually booking flowers in advance are not finding money growing on trees, its a nice way to show your partner how much you appreciate them.

    i took day off work and made my gf dinner, now shes getting me a ferrari for my bday, score


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    #51
    chris_oc
    Registered Users Posts: 230 ✭✭chris_oc


    buckfast4me wrote: »
    LOL your boyfriend is a legend.

    haha think so too!!:D

    ever occur to you that you mighta done somethin wrong and hes pissed of at ye?!?! thats what id probably think. maybe its just me nd the fact that im usually the one who does somethin wrong:rolleyes::rolleyes:


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    #52
    Zulu
    Registered Users Posts: 10,965 ✭✭✭✭Zulu


    My GF (who is class I might add) called over to my place and cooked me my favourite food. Three courses of bliss. :) ...now thats what I call a V-Day.


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    #53
    pookie82
    Registered Users Posts: 2,217 ✭✭✭pookie82


    I understand why people get worked up about being expected to spend too much on VD (ha ha, that looks like venereal disease) but I don't think it's a particularly big ask to show a tiny gesture of affection on the day. All of this "I'm not doing something just because I'm told to" etc seems really childish and stubborn. Did all of the people who say this give and receive xmas presents??? Do they give cards and gifts on birthdays?? It's not that much of a leap to "buy into convention" and give a card on a day reserved to celebrate love.

    Plus, there are loads on here saying "why do I have to show it on this one day?? I'd much prefer to show it at spontaneous moments all throughout the year" etc. Which is all good and well if you DO, but some people aren't that forthcoming with romantic gestures in a spontaneous manner and it can be a day to remind you to just let your OH know you love them by leaving a card on the table or something.

    Wibbs was entirely correct with his point on "so what if you don't buy into it and recognise it's a load of pants, if your OH would like a gesture on the day and would appreciate it being marked it doesn't kill you to do something". (Not a direct quote, just the general idea I think!) I agree with this entirely. So there are alot of people out there who think it's pants or a money racket or whatever, but I think if you know it would be important for your partner to get a gesture (however small) on the day, you should do so for THEM.


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    #54
    mysterymeme123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭mysterymeme123


    I didn't expect anything other than a happy valentines text.I certainly didn't expect flowers or chocolates a card or a teddy .I got him a remote control helicopter. No I haven't done anything to piss him off. I didn't expect him to spend anything other than 15c on a text . Maybe he is just cynical he was the same at Christmas .


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    #55
    Jack B. Badd
    Registered Users Posts: 3,294 ✭✭✭Jack B. Badd


    OP, did you tell him you'd be expecting a "Valentines Day text" (whatever that is - I would have assumed his text saying "x" probably wasn't far from the sentiments that would be expressed in a VD text)? And why is a text (or lack thereof) bothering you so much?


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    #56
    mysterymeme123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭mysterymeme123


    sorry new here what does the OP at the start of your post mean? sorry

    I don't know why it bothered me , I just thought he would have texted something , sort of made me feel like crap to be honest. I thought it was the norm for the guy to do this sort of stuff. I didn't want to say anything in case he had forgotten and then got embarrassed and then I didn't say anything in case he thought I was silly for thinking it would be fun to do something.

    Anyway I'm over it, still haven't seen him and to be honest I think I'm just going to start being as casual about things as he is.


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    #57
    Placebo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,070 ✭✭✭Placebo


    OP = original poster,
    it varys from relationship to relationship, if i didnt text my gf on any given day, it would be because im annoyed at her, from the sounds of xmas/ and now val, i think your guys just liked that. Could be work depression.


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    #58
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Placebo wrote: »
    u have to be a daft, un appreciative man to not bother with valentines with your g/f. People actually booking flowers in advance are not finding money growing on trees, its a nice way to show your partner how much you appreciate them.

    i took day off work and made my gf dinner, now shes getting me a ferrari for my bday, score

    I'm female.
    And I prefer that we show each other the rest of the year.


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    #59
    Placebo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,070 ✭✭✭Placebo


    i know your female. Id hate to have my bday celebrated like the rest of the year mind you.


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    #60
    Jack B. Badd
    Registered Users Posts: 3,294 ✭✭✭Jack B. Badd


    mysterymeme123 wrote: »
    I don't know why it bothered me , I just thought he would have texted something , sort of made me feel like crap to be honest. I thought it was the norm for the guy to do this sort of stuff. I didn't want to say anything in case he had forgotten and then got embarrassed and then I didn't say anything in case he thought I was silly for thinking it would be fun to do something.

    Chances are if you two had discussed this before yesterday and you had told him what you would like (which doesn't seem all that much) you probably would have got it. Making assumptions about each other and the lack of communication seems to be what's causing the problem. You thought he'd do something for VD, he probably thought you weren't interested in it and not discussing it means you're now unhappy.
    Just tell the boy that you'd like a bit of pampering/effort/acknowledgement on VD in the future and don't punish him by "as casual about things as he is" for something he doesn't even know he's done.
    Men are not psychic, there are quite a few women who need reminding of this. Don't be one of them. It's highly unattractive.


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    #61
    mysterymeme123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭mysterymeme123


    Jack B. Badd wrote: »
    Chances are if you two had discussed this before yesterday and you had told him what you would like (which doesn't seem all that much) you probably would have got it. Making assumptions about each other and the lack of communication seems to be what's causing the problem. You thought he'd do something for VD, he probably thought you weren't interested in it and not discussing it means you're now unhappy.
    Just tell the boy that you'd like a bit of pampering/effort/acknowledgement on VD in the future and don't punish him by "as casual about things as he is" for something he doesn't even know he's done.
    Men are not psychic, there are quite a few women who need reminding of this. Don't be one of them. It's highly unattractive.

    1. that post is completely patronising and condescending
    2. I am not punishing him, I am just going to take it easy. How is that a punishment?


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