Am i being unreasnable??????

LegacyUser · 13-02-2008 12:29pm #1

It's not a huge deal, but my boyfriend was just made redundante and one of his friends (girl) asked him out to lunch, just the two of them. I'm not afraid of him doing anything on me i trust him completely, but i just think it is unappropriate for him to go to lunch with her just the 2 of them. I wouldn't mind if there was a group of them. Is it silly of me to aske him not to go???????? Please help?

LegacyUser · 13-02-2008 12:39pm

If they're very close friends you shouldn't be bothered,don't worry.
Having lunch just the 2 of them doesn't make it a date or something...
If one of your male friends ask you out for lunch or a cuppa,would that make it dodgy? NO
Relax love

JuliusCaesar · 13-02-2008 12:41pm

you either trust him or you dont.
I don't think it's inappropriate. She may be in the same boat, have career/job advice that you can't give. I'd be v annoyed if someone started interfering with who I have lunch with. It's lunch for heavens sake, not drinks.

whiskeyman · 13-02-2008 12:43pm

he told you he was meeting her for lunch?
I think you're being very unreasonable.
Do you let him even speak or talk or meet up with any other women?
You do realise he may have been having lunch while at work with other women... sometimes just by themselves, without even telling you??

LegacyUser · 13-02-2008 12:46pm

if you trust him then you cannot let it get to you. surely when hes just been made redundant spending time with friends will be good for him

koneko · 13-02-2008 12:52pm

Are they friends? Does she know he's not single?
If you trust him, then you shouldn't let it bother you,. It'd be inappropriate if he's pretending he's single and is on a "date" lunch with her, but it doesn't sound like that at all.

Beruthiel · 13-02-2008 12:53pm

Sarah125 wrote: »

It's not a huge deal, but my boyfriend was just made redundante and one of his friends (girl) asked him out to lunch, just the two of them. I'm not afraid of him doing anything on me i trust him completely, but i just think it is unappropriate for him to go to lunch with her just the 2 of them. I wouldn't mind if there was a group of them. Is it silly of me to aske him not to go???????? Please help?

I assume they have been friends for a long time? Longer than he knows you?
Yet still, you're his g/f....
Relax

sharkie2008 · 13-02-2008 1:07pm

koneko wrote: »

Are they friends? Does she know he's not single?
If you trust him, then you shouldn't let it bother you,. It'd be inappropriate if he's pretending he's single and is on a "date" lunch with her, but it doesn't sound like that at all.

if it was a 'date' i doubt he would have told you about it. just relax about it, if you were meeting a male friend for lunch would you expect your boyfriend to find it inappropriate?

Fwaggle · 13-02-2008 1:11pm

Sarah125 wrote: »

Is it silly of me to aske him not to go????????

Yes, cop on.

Attol · 13-02-2008 1:13pm

Most of my friends are male and I go see films, have dinner/lunch or drinks with them one on one, just as I would with female friends. There is nothing unusual I think in having a friendship with someone of the opposite sex. If my boyfriend had a problem with that then there'd be something seriously wrong with the relationship. Likewise, if he wants to meet up with female friends one on one who am I to stop him? I don't think he wants to jump in bed with every girl he talks to. I've grown up past that adolescent jealousy and insecurity.

I'm not Irish so maybe the way I've been brought up is a little different to the way you lot have. Social interactions don't tend to be restricted to those of your own gender in Scandinavia. I think it's a lot healthier to have both male and female friends.

John_Mc · 13-02-2008 1:14pm

Totally unreasonable

Wibbs · 13-02-2008 1:16pm

On the basis of what you've told us yes you're being unreasonable. Is it because he's been made redundant and he's not relying on just you for emotional support that's irritating you. If so, get over it.

Colonel_McCoy · 13-02-2008 1:16pm

I agree, lean back ...........nothing wrong with it.

star-pants · 13-02-2008 1:37pm

I have male friends that I hang out with, 'just the two of us' and it's just friends.
I have had bfs who's best friends are a girl. It's never bothered me, because I'm the gf, and I trust them. And who am I to say which friends they hang out with.

You said it yourself 'he's meeting a female friend from work for lunch' that's what it is.

dudara · 13-02-2008 1:38pm

Normally, I would say that you are being unreasonable. If you trust your boyfriend, then there is no need to follow him around.

Why are you so worried? Have you picked up on vibes between them or something?

tbh · 13-02-2008 2:10pm

Being Upset: Not unreasonable.

Mentioning it: Unreasonable.

moco · 13-02-2008 2:15pm

You're being unreasonable, it's only lunch. You can't stop him having friends!

no you can't moco - Beruthiel

John Mason · 13-02-2008 2:17pm

completely unreasonable. if my bf asked me not to meet one of the guys i work with lunch, he would dropped so quick he wouldnt know what happened

Cathmandooo · 13-02-2008 2:40pm

yea sorry but you're being very unreasonable, it's only a lunch and you trust him so there's no problem!

Mr. Incognito · 13-02-2008 2:41pm

Get a grip love- she's only a mate- us men do have them you know.

jesus_thats_gre · 13-02-2008 2:42pm

tbh wrote: »

Being Upset: Not unreasonable.

Mentioning it: Unreasonable.

Being upset is also unreasonable..

tbh · 13-02-2008 2:45pm

jesus_thats_gre wrote: »

Being upset is also unreasonable..

not if you don't act on it, imo. In fact, that to me is being very reasonable - having a reaction, accepting that it's your problem and deciding not to act on it

Aran61 · 13-02-2008 2:46pm

Sarah125 wrote: »

It's not a huge deal, but my boyfriend was just made redundante and one of his friends (girl) asked him out to lunch, just the two of them. I'm not afraid of him doing anything on me i trust him completely, but i just think it is unappropriate for him to go to lunch with her just the 2 of them. I wouldn't mind if there was a group of them. Is it silly of me to aske him not to go???????? Please help?

I guess you have to be careful with this one. It'll seem crazy if you insist he doesn't go, but more than likely he has some kind of attraction to her. Most guys, given the opportunity, will sleep with someone if it's put on a plate for them. Friend or not.

Cathmandooo · 13-02-2008 2:50pm

Aran61 wrote: »

I guess you have to be careful with this one. It'll seem crazy if you insist he doesn't go, but more than likely he has some kind of attraction to her. Most guys, given the opportunity, will sleep with someone if it's put on a plate for them. Friend or not.

talk about over reacting! Some kind of attraction to her? they're friends for gods sake, do you chase all your male / female friends? grow up

Aran61 · 13-02-2008 3:09pm

Cathooo wrote: »

talk about over reacting! Some kind of attraction to her? they're friends for gods sake, do you chase all your male / female friends? grow up

We only have his word for them being "just friends". We don't know the true extent of their relationship. Besides he's just lost his job and may be a little vulnerable. With lot of guys, their entire identity depends on their job, having a role to play. It's just not ideal is all I'm saying. To answer your question, I personally don't chase my male friends. I can't say that the same holds true for guys though. Most of them think with their d*icks. If you don't believe that then maybe it's time for you to grow up.

Cathmandooo · 13-02-2008 3:17pm

Aran61 wrote: »

We only have his word for them being "just friends". We don't know the true extent of their relationship. Besides he's just lost his job and may be a little vulnerable. With lot of guys, their entire identity depends on their job, having a role to play. It's just not ideal is all I'm saying. To answer your question, I personally don't chase my male friends. I can't say that the same holds true for guys though. Most of them think with their d*icks. If you don't believe that then maybe it's time for you to grow up.

The OP says she trusts him completely, you're taking this off topic and tarring the majority of men with the one brush and possibly scaring the OP into believing he wants to get in this girls pants. You sound like you have trust issues, maybe open yourself a pi thread.

John Mason · 13-02-2008 3:19pm

Aran61 wrote: »

We only have his word for them being "just friends". We don't know the true extent of their relationship. Besides he's just lost his job and may be a little vulnerable. With lot of guys, their entire identity depends on their job, having a role to play. It's just not ideal is all I'm saying. To answer your question, I personally don't chase my male friends. I can't say that the same holds true for guys though. Most of them think with their d*icks. If you don't believe that then maybe it's time for you to grow up.

Now you are being completely unreasonable. Do you seriously think all men think with their dicks? I am assuming you are either very young or very bitter. i have a lot of male friends, and that what we are friends, nothing more nothing less. :mad::mad::mad:

Beruthiel · 13-02-2008 3:22pm

Aran61 wrote: »

I can't say that the same holds true for guys though. Most of them think with their d*icks. If you don't believe that then maybe it's time for you to grow up.

Please do not project your problems with men onto the OP.
There are as many good men out there as there are assholes.

Aran61 · 13-02-2008 3:22pm

Cathooo wrote: »

The OP says she trusts him completely, you're taking this off topic and tarring the majority of men with the one brush and possibly scaring the OP into believing he wants to get in this girls pants. You sound like you have trust issues, maybe open yourself a pi thread.

OP is already scared in case you hadn't noticed, otherwise she wouldn't be posting here. I'm just giving my view which she can accept or reject as she sees fit. I have no trust issues by the way so you can cut out the facetious remarks.

Meathlass · 13-02-2008 3:45pm

Aran61 wrote: »

We only have his word for them being "just friends". We don't know the true extent of their relationship. Besides he's just lost his job and may be a little vulnerable. With lot of guys, their entire identity depends on their job, having a role to play. It's just not ideal is all I'm saying. To answer your question, I personally don't chase my male friends. I can't say that the same holds true for guys though. Most of them think with their d*icks. If you don't believe that then maybe it's time for you to grow up.

It's possible for males and females to have relationships based on friendship, you know.

OP I wouldn't worry about it and certainly don't say anything to him. You yourself must have plenty of male friends that you'd meet without it being something sexual. He's just meeting a friend for lunch, nothing more or less.

dudara · 13-02-2008 3:50pm

Aran61 wrote: »

OP is already scared in case you hadn't noticed, otherwise she wouldn't be posting here.

I agree with this point of view, which is why I earlier asked the OP to explain if she had any underlying issues or concerns.

Am i being unreasnable??????

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