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No Best Man Speech

IBB1983

Hi all, my wedding is coming up and the best man who is not a good public speaker is not comfortable about doing a speech. Frankly he's terrified. But its fine with me if he doesn't want to do one. I told him there's no pressure to do one. Just out of curiosity, has anyone experience of the best man not doing a speech?

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baby and crumble

Neither of my brothers wedding contained speeches, and nobody cared- if anything it was a slight relief. I'm planning on saying something at ours but mostly to acknowledge how many people in attendance (both gay and straight) went out last year and campaigned for my right toget married. We wouldn't be able to do this if it wasn't for them so I personally feel it's important. Otherwise we probably wouldn't bother.

Toots

It's no big deal if he doesn't want to do the speech. At my bro in law's wedding my husband was best man and he was the only one who made a speech. Groom and dads didn't want to do it, so my hubby just did a short one thanking people on the b&g's behalf, and then a toast to them as a couple. Less than 5 minutes. Sometimes it's really hard to watch someone make a speech if they obviously aren't comfortable doing it and stumble through the whole thing.

salmocab

I told my best man he didn't have to make a speech as I knew he wouldn't be keen and Ive been to enough weddings to know they are rarely worth listening to, just told him to make a quick toast, just after dinner started he announced that he was ****ting himself and couldn't do it, we laughed at him and my groomsman did the toast. Great craic slagging him about it now and nobody cared because I suspect nobody cares about the speeches in general.

lalababa

Whenever I go to weddings and listen to the priest talk about a committed and lawfull partnership made in public, I have to laugh when I think of all the nonsense that happens after the ACTUAL ceremony. Esp. the 'big' hotel the fancy cars and the dreaded photoshoot. The speeches fall into this category aswell. In Ireland and I suppose other countries ( I don't know) If you don't do a thing the way everybody else does it (and bigger) then you're not doing it right.:rolleyes:

ElleEm

funkey_monkey wrote: »

Yeah, but does the best man at least have to introduce the speech makers?

Is there a minimum to be said?

No, you can do what you want. There is no minimum/ maximum. The hotel or DJ can introduce people. We didn't have any introductions. Best man started, gave my dad the mic then my dad gave it to my husband. There is no need for introductions. It just adds more time onto the speeches which noone wants!

Sugar Free

funkey_monkey wrote: »

If omitting a best mans speech what role does the best man have to perform after the actual wedding - i.e. at the reception?

Help hoard people for photos, accept gifts/cards to look after, possibly pay some of the vendors on the day etc. Just be available to help if needed and not be off somewhere downing drinks

OP, I've done a speech as 'co-best man' if you want to call it that, where the real best man (the groom's brother) was too nervous to do it. No one cared nor noticed. I've also been at a wedding where the bride spoke but the groom didn't as he too wasn't up to it. Really no big deal at all.

gifted

I was at a wedding where the bride was texting all through the speeches....families didn't get on and a horrible vibe in the air all day and evening....didn't bother me, wasn't related to either family. had a great day. And yes there was punches thrown at the end of the night between the families lol lol

ElleEm

funkey_monkey wrote: »

If omitting a best mans speech what role does the best man have to perform after the actual wedding - i.e. at the reception?

The best man's role is to be a support to the groom, and usually acts as a witness on the register. People might give him gifts to mind.

fineso.mom

I was at a wedding last week, no best man speech. The groom, his father and bride's father made a short speech each. It didnt make the slightest difference to the enjoyment of the day.
Your wedding so your call.
Enjoy.

IBB1983

Sam Kade wrote: »

That isn't such a bad thing because when some of them start they never shut up, some believe they are comedians for the day :rolleyes:

Very true Sam!

IBB1983

Thanks all, good to hear some of your experiences!

micar

It's your wedding.

Are you bothered if he doesn't do one?

If so, why would you stress him and yourself put?

uck51js9zml2yt

We had my speech, best man, my mother, my wife and my father in law ( through a translator).
The only rule is, there are no rules:)

Sam Kade

That isn't such a bad thing because when some of them start they never shut up, some believe they are comedians for the day :rolleyes:

kandr10

We only had a grooms speech. No one cared. Not a big deal at all. People prob wouldn't bat an eyelid.

IBB1983

The Sidewards Man wrote: »

Give him a few brandy's to settle his nerves before the speech.

Usually I would say yes, but I've seen enough drunken best man speeches to last me a life time!

ElleEm

Our best man was the same but ended up doing a speech in the end. We were planning on just mixing up the other speeches, like having one at the drinks reception and one after dinner. It is great that you are so understanding. I am sure it makes him feel much better.

endacl

The Sidewards Man wrote: »

Give him a few brandy's to settle his nerves before the speech.

He advises,missing the point of the question. :rolleyes:

No best man speech is no big deal, OP. if he doesn't want to do one, don't have one. From the POV of the guests, one less speech can only be a good thing.

The Sidewards Man

Give him a few brandy's to settle his nerves before the speech.