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Alan Partridge Superthread - Sponsored by Dettol

BMMachine

This thread is for a man that has been a journalist, presenter, a broadcaster, a husband and father, a company director, a vigorous all rounder with a fascinating past and an amazing future. Gregarious, popular, a philanthropist but never happier when he's relaxing in his own 5-bedroom self built house with three acres of land and access to a private stream. But who the hell is this mysterious enigma? This mysterious enigma is Alan Partridge.

Almost 25 years of gracing our TV screens and radio waves and proving to be a cultural pillar and cornerstone of British Comedy and yet he hasn't got a ruddy thread on boards. He has just finished season 2 of Mid Morning Matters With Alan Partridge (MMMWAP) which of course was 10 on 10 and he looks to continue for a long time yet. What are your favourite Alanisms, scenes and characters? What is your favourite King and Car combination? (Henry 8th - Range Rover, Vogue 4.6, Petrol, Sage Green with a Saddle Tan interior).

I realise he has his haters (naysayers) and is quite divisive but hes not the type to let that bother him, just water off a ducks back really and anyway, hes far better than Eamonn Holmes.
So let battle commence!

A-ha!

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stoplooklisten

Evolution not revolution, because I evolve , but I don't ... revolve

Welsh Megaman

stoplooklisten wrote: »

Evolution not revolution, because I evolve , but I don't ... revolve

Alan: I suppose, what you're trying to say is, you don't want another Chris Evans on your hands.
Tony Hayers: No, that is what we want.
Alan: I'm your man!

Thargor

The coffin dance is hilarious:

Grayditch

"I was going to play 'London Calling' by The Clash, but... it's awful."

loyatemu

How's the Edge?
The Edge is fine
How's Adam Clayton?
Adam Clayton's fine
How's, eh, the drummer?
The drummer's fine

He is not Bono. He is rubbish!

Realt Dearg Sec

loyatemu wrote: »

How's the Edge?
The Edge is fine
How's Adam Clayton?
Adam Clayton's fine
How's, eh, the drummer?
The drummer's fine

He is not Bono. He is rubbish!

I was at the pop concert.

Ash.J.Williams

Sordid little grief hole

Grayditch

"Don't rub your FANNY ON MEEEE"

[Deleted User]

loyatemu wrote: »

How's the Edge?
The Edge is fine
How's Adam Clayton?
Adam Clayton's fine
How's, eh, the drummer?
The drummer's fine

He is not Bono. He is rubbish!

Lynn, are those your mother's cataract glasses?

Grayditch

Valentina wrote: »

Lynn, are those your mother's cataract glasses?

"Help yourself to a scone. You’re probably sick of canteen food from being on tour… I forgot, you’re not Bono."

padd b1975

Out for dinner with Tony Hayers.

"I will have.....a pint of bitter.

dr.fuzzenstein

.red. wrote: »

The air guitar is another classic scene. I love how he goes to take the guitar strap off his shoulder at the end

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nNDqzpgzdis

Its air bass, stop getting Partridge wrong!

dr.fuzzenstein

Ciaran_B wrote: »

I only noticed, after my millionth rewatch, that this is the set up of a joke that we get the pay off for later in the episode.

Zombies, by their very nature, are inconsistent.

stimpson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq0BITsiqQg

[Deleted User]

[Singing] Tell you what, it's nine and a half thousand pounds!

tipptom

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Zombies, by their very nature, are inconsistent.

Indeed,and the tungsten tip screws came in handy for demonstrating that very point.

stoplooklisten

Lap dance scene:

?:I like your thong

Alan: It's polyurethane rubber so it doesn't perish

tipptom

Michael;So what did you do last night?

Alan;Just stayed in and watched a documentary about quick sand,then Sonja and I took our tops of and had a cuddle,followed by mince beef and onions,dosent get much better than that.

M;It did for me,i had more than a cuddle last night,i had full sex with a woman.

A;Go on,Go on!

M;She was all over us,man,I Mean she's a bit older than me, like,shes 60.

A;What!,shes 60?

M;Aye,whats wrong with that,the same age as you and Sonja?

A;Yea,that's just wrong,you shouldn't do it the other way round.

M;We did!!

A; 60s not really old is it?,I meal look at Bob Dylan.

M;Aye,she looked a bit like him

Alan;What with big nose and lots of mad hair?

M;Aye,do you know her?

A;How did you meet her?

M;Outside Threshers,she was loading all this booze in to the back of her car.
And she says "Oh,Ive had a bit to drink",like,"would you drive us home.........to Cardiff".

A;To Cardiff???!!

M;Aye,I came back this morning on the national express coach.It was sort of like a secret SAS operation,you know,Your mission:Gan to Cardiff,have full sex with a woman,come back on a coach.Sort of like operation Bravo two zero.

A;I think in your case Michael it was more like bravo 6-0 by Randy McNab!

M;Hey,Randy McNob!!!

A;Stop that now!

Thargor

stoplooklisten wrote: »

Lap dance scene:

?:I like your thong

Alan: It's polyurethane rubber so it doesn't perish

Alans thong was vulcanised rubber, polyurethane was the laquer he reccomended for Tonys Hayers coffin so it didnt rot

tipptom

Thargor wrote: »

Alans thong was vulcanised rubber, polyurethane was the laquer he reccomended for Tonys Hayers coffin so it didnt rot

Unlike the lining in Alans 80s shorts which did rot and let the boys out of the barracks.

groucho marx

Dan dan dan dan dan daaaaan

dasdog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDYEG38P_yU

tipptom

Alan;You threw a monkey in the sea?!!

Michael;Well,it had eaten all my fags,it was 200 duty free carton like.so I picked it up and threw it in the sea.

A;You threw a monkey in the sea?!!
Thats awful,i mean I was fishing for some sort of funny story but that's just upsetting

M;Well you know,i just wasn't thinking straight,I got the red mist in front of me eyes and I just hurled it in the sea.

A;Will you stop saying you threw your monkey in the sea?
All I can see is a monkey spinning towards the water.

M;Well it didn't go straight in the water.It bounced of a rock first.

Welsh Megaman

Now I must say I'm very grateful you've come over. Big fans of all the Irish stuff. Love your pop music, Enya...

And the other one...ripped up the pope, bald chap.

groucho marx

Couple of gremlins in the system there

Ash.J.Williams

love this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AtQLkpTGsA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7SFj6VKjqA

Welsh Megaman

It's four-fifty a.m. The Queen is dead, long live the King Singers!

(Later)

Now, we've had several calls during the last few hours concerning a humorous comment I made some time ago. Just to reassure you, the Queen is not dead. It was a humorous intro into a song which seems to have been taken a bit too literally by one or two listeners...and a newspaper. So, just to repeat, QUEEN ELIZABETH IS NOT DEAD.

Unless she went in the night, and is yet to be discovered by the maid.

Thargor

tipptom wrote: »

[/B] Unlike the lining in Alans 80s shorts which did rot and let the boys out of the barracks.

It didnt rot it perished!

Sir Oxman

“I flew to Gothenburg to negotiate directly with Bjorny and Ben’s lawyers for exclusive rights to shout, but not say, the word ‘Aha’ 50 times per year in perpetuity for the rest of my life or until 2015, whichever comes sooner.”

Grayditch

Alan:Actually, can I have a look at that list. I want to get to the bottom of this.
Mr. G. String…Mr. Nick Hers…Y. Front… Mr. T. Osser? That doesn’t even work.
Mr. B. Ody – this is Bill Oddie. It’s not a prank call. Why have you put it on there?

Susan: Well, we thought it looked like ‘body’.

Alan: What’s rude about a body?

Sophie: Tits?