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Child Item

Baby screaming in restaurant

c68zapdsm5i1ru

I was in a restaurant at lunchtime yesterday with a couple of friends. A couple sitting near us had a small child in a high chair. The dad was playing a game where he hid behind a napkin and then peeped out and the baby would start shrieking with delight. This went on for about ten minutes and the screams were getting really ear piercing. Eventually a woman at a nearby table went over and said something and the father stopped but didn't look too happy about it.

One of my friends thought the woman was out of order but myself and other friend were grateful to her. Just wondering who you think was in the right? Would never have asked the dad to stop myself but the noise was really starting to get on my nerves.

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[Deleted User]

PandaPoo wrote: »

Well I'd definitely prefer to see babies out and about and being noisy than to not see them out at all.

I didn't give any opinion on that part. It's just not the done thing here.

AryaStark

Deleted User wrote: »

In no situation is it ok to encourage a child to be noisy for an extended period of time. If you want to have noisy fun during meals, stay at home.

Where I live, this isn't a thing.. Babies are never brought anywhere. I can't remember the last time I've heard a baby to be honest.

That sounds horrible... poor kids.

Even not being a parent I love to see kids and baby's out having fun and experiencing life.

[Deleted User]

The woman was right, if a child can't be kept quiet then keep them at home or away from other people's ears.

Parents need to get over themselves big time thinking they can annoy people in public with their brats.

As the old saying goes "children should be seen but not heard".

[Deleted User]

AryaStark wrote: »

That sounds horrible... poor kids.

I said babies. How would a baby know it's not sitting in a nice restaurant?

AryaStark

Stetson Rapid Liposuction wrote: »

The woman was right, if a child can't be kept quiet then keep them at home or away from other people's ears.

Parents need to get over themselves big time thinking they can annoy people in public with their brats.

Wow ... you sound quite annoying yourself ... what should be done with you???

Allinall

Stetson Rapid Liposuction wrote: »

The woman was right, if a child can't be kept quiet then keep them at home or away from other people's ears.

Parents need to get over themselves big time thinking they can annoy people in public with their brats.

As the old saying goes "children should be seen but not heard".

A child making noise when it's happy is a brat?

Methinks one needs to look inwards.

Keane2baMused

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Hahaha it's parents like this that for years made me not want kids. Then I realised you can actually be a parent without the horrible attitude of "my kid can do what they like and if you don't like it then tough".

If YOUR child is causing a scene, then it's YOUR responsibility to deal with it. Sitting there oblivious to YOUR child screaming and roaring makes YOU a knob. Not everyone else. You seriously expect people who've paid for lunch to get up and leave if they're not mesmerised by your kids tantrums?
Get a grip

Kids cry, big deal. If a child is constantly crying, and won't stop then it's on you to get up and deal with it like a responsible adult and not put your kids behaviour on everyone else. Being a parent is a responsibility. If your child is very upset, take the child outside. If the child is running around and liable to cause an accident, bring a colouring book and make them sit down. If they're not able to sit down and behave themselves, bring them somewhere that they can run around.

It seems to be some parents attitude that they can bring their child wherever they like, their child can behave whatever way they like, it doesn't matter if everyone else's lunch is ruined, as long as you enjoy yours. Great attitude to have, well done.

You really need to chill out.

I never said parents didn't have a responsibility to their children. I have left restaurants many times because my kids have been crying.

Why do people have to listen to utter gobsh1tes at the table next to them? Should they also go outside if they want to laugh like morons? Or I dunno, go to mcdonalds?

[Deleted User]

It's inconsiderate of people to have their kids disturbing the relative peace and quiet others may wish to enjoy, whether that is allowing them run around, leaving them cry for extended periods, or as in this case whipping up the excitement levels. They can do that at home. It's fun to hear a baby laugh, but if the child was getting shrill and over excited it's time for the parents to rein it in a little.

Wabbit Ears

goz83 wrote:

As a father of 5, I would disagree with you. Entertaining a child most often prevents the crying most people cannot stand to listen to. Damage control.

Keane2baMused wrote:

It's also highly unlikely the father was "generating this noise for no reason". As someone else said it was most likely damage control and he probably thought he was doing everyone else a favour by keeping the child amused and not crying.

Ah now seriously guys, absolutely every one of us has experienced the epic twattery of the parent that really does think their kid is the center of the universe and will literally do anything to bask in their oh so funny and unique laughter and shenanigans. While other parents are doing damage control they are obliviously winding their kids up like joyous giggley clock toys.

Unfortunately you can't rip the batteries out if their little energiser bunnies on red bull and beat them to death with them so a quiet "Cop the Fcuk on" is the more diplomatic option.

[Deleted User]

Allinall wrote: »

A child making noise when it's happy is a brat?

Methinks one needs to look inwards.

Noise is noise, people don't want to listen to children making noise, they don't care about your child laughing etc.

Only this paddy's day I was trying to watch the racing in the pub and in came a few children running around annoying me, then they started messing with the projector screen and I told them to clear off. I was only hoping they would run up to their parents and they come down complaining to me so I could tell them to f*ck off out of the pub.

Keane2baMused

genericguy wrote: »

You've shown your hand. We all know you're one of these people now.

I don't like your baby.

Funny you've come to that estimation based on nothing. I've sat outside restaurants a number of times with my crying baby and left my OH and older child inside eating, or we take turns.

So no, I'm not "one of those people".

I just don't believe in the superiority complex that children should be purely seen and not heard and god forbid allowed in a restaurant at lunch time. Kids cry and laugh big deal. Get over it.

Life is really too short without getting so p1ssed off about insignificant things.

Allinall

Stetson Rapid Liposuction wrote: »

Noise is noise, people don't want to listen to children making noise, they don't care about your child laughing etc.

Only this paddy's day I was trying to watch the racing in the pub and in came a few children running around annoying me, then they started messing with the projector screen and I told them to clear off. I was only hoping they would run up to their parents and they come down complaining to me so I could tell them to f*ck off out of the pub.

Watching racing in the pub? How inconsiderate, with all the other people wanting to enjoy a quiet pint.

Speedwell

Children are not trying to give you a hard time. They are having a hard time. If a child is having a hard time, then that definitely needs to be addressed in a constructive way. Babies usually need to be taken to a quiet location where they can recover from their meltdown.

Older children do need to learn somehow how to conduct themselves in adult places. My grandmother was wonderful in explaining to me when I was six or so that she was taking me out to an adult restaurant and I needed to act like an adult while I was there. If she saw I was having trouble behaving, she would point out a quiet table and ask me to act like that. Within a few weeks wait staff were complimenting "the little lady's manners".

Keane2baMused

Stetson Rapid Liposuction wrote: »

Noise is noise, people don't want to listen to children making noise, they don't care about your child laughing etc.

Only this paddy's day I was trying to watch the racing in the pub and in came a few children running around annoying me, then they started messing with the projector screen and I told them to clear off. I was only hoping they would run up to their parents and they come down complaining to me so I could tell them to f*ck off out of the pub.

That's a different kettle of fish from my view.

Pubs are for adults not for children. I don't bring my kids to a pub and if I had to for some rare occasion or reason it would be eat and leave asap.

I worked in a bar during college and parents treated the pub like a crèche.

Many restaurants however are family oriented. So in that circumstance what do you? If you go to Milanos (for example) for lunch on a Saturday what can you expect really? If management have an issue with it they would speak to the customers directly.

[Deleted User]

Allinall wrote: »

Watching racing in the pub? How inconsiderate, with all the other people wanting to enjoy a quiet pint.

The entire pub was watching the racing, it's Cheltenham on Paddys day ffs.

goz83

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

Some people want a bit of peace and quiet at lunch and not have to listen to a child shrieking (whether it's in delight or not).

I despise people talking loudly on their phones for ages in public as well.A small bit of noise for a minute is understandable if it's going on for a good while it's completely disrespectful to other people.

People shouldn't have to suffer because someone else has a child.

I would suggest staying at home, where you won't be plagued by young children who, (god forbid) might make some noise in your ears. Bloody hell, I remember being on a bus when I was 15, on my way to my part time job and there was a lady with a crying baby. Some old lady started giving out to the mother that she should keep the baby quiet. It wasn't bothering me, or the other 3-4 people on the bus. I thought it was out of line, but the next thing that happened, the mother said "right, i'll quiet him" and proceeded to change a dirty nappy. Having a weak stomach, I moved upstairs, but the face on the old lady was priceless

meeeeh wrote: »

I never thought playing peekaboo with a napkin is the only way to entertain a child. Yes sometimes you can't avoid them get loud but usually we managed to entertain them in quieter ways or take them out for a little bit. Lunches with kids are often not that enjoyable for parents because you have to take care of your kid and make sure the others can enjoy their time too. But parenthood doesn't absolve you of responsibility to be mindful of others.

It's one way, not the only way. And believe me, it's better to have them laughing than it is to have them crying. Mostly, my kids are quiet, but occasionally, there is upset, as there sometimes can be with kids and babies. There's a lot more to parenting than keeping your kids quiet for the sake of asshats who think the world needs to be quiet for them, all because they paid for a sandwich.

andekwarhola wrote: »

It's can be kind of annoying to hear if it's constant but I just tune out. It's just a child.

It's not really any more annoying than ambient restaurant noise like overloud drunk conversation, laughter; talking on phones etc that often is deemed acceptable- often by the very same people that just get worked up at the mere sight of kids in these situations.

Noise happens in social, public places. Deal with it.

Agreed. I would rather listen to a child giggle than an adult sh1ting on about work, football, hand bags after a glass of wine/beer.

speedboatchase wrote: »

I would've done the same as the woman, or at least pointed it out to management. Everyone has paid for a service and are entitled to have their meal in peace. If a child is crying then the parent obviously will be embarrassed and try alleviate the situation, but in this case the parent just kept going for 10 mins, ignoring the discomfort that the noise levels would cause other patrons. Baby or no baby, that level of noise for 10 minutes is disrespectful. I'm amazed it took someone that long to say something, to be honest.

I'm sure there was a little exaggeration in the OP. As I said already, places with high chairs welcome babies. And babies make noise.

speedboatchase wrote: »

They're in a restaurant, with other paying customers. Whether or not they're 'allowed' scream for 10 mins is entirely at the discretion of management.

Exactly. At the discretion of management. And management used their discretion by leaving the father entertain his child. The woman was a whinger and would be glad it wasn't me she approached, as she would be wearing her lunch.

[Deleted User]

Speedwell wrote: »

Within a few weeks wait staff were complimenting "the little lady's manners".

My gran hated being called "the little lady". She'd start crying and running around the place, spoiling the peace and quiet for everyone...

Mfarr3ll

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

As a parent of two I have to say the father was out of order and deserved to be told off.

Some parents look at their kids with blinkers on and can be completly oblivious that their kid is not the only thing in the world. This father was generating this noise for no reason then his personal happiness at hearing the kid laugh at the expense of the other diners enjoyment of their meals.

This is not the same scenario at all like a crying or noisy kid which I am sympathetic to.

yes I agree

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Keane2baMused wrote: »

You really need to chill out.

I never said parents didn't have a responsibility to their children. I have left restaurants many times because my kids have been crying.

Why do people have to listen to utter gobsh1tes at the table next to them? Should they also go outside if they want to laugh like morons? Or I dunno, go to mcdonalds?

Yes, quite frankly. Have a little bit of self awareness of other people. I was out for dinner last night and there was a large party nearby. Someone was doing really loud whistles with their fingers shoved in their mouth, and it just penetrated through the entire restaurant.

But it's those kind of people who'll probably have no issue with their children causing a scene either. Having a little bit of respect for your surroundings is all that's required.

Speedwell

Deleted User wrote: »

My gran hated being called "the little lady". She'd start crying and running around the place, spoiling the peace and quiet for everyone...

My grandmother was five-foot-one, dyed her hair a violent strawberry blonde, and used to sing in nightclubs. Imagining how she might act if she ran around screaming in restaurants gave me my biggest laugh in a while. Well done.

Keane2baMused

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Yes, quite frankly. Have a little bit of self awareness of other people. I was out for dinner last night and there was a large party nearby. Someone was doing really loud whistles with their fingers shoved in their mouth, and it just penetrated through the entire restaurant.

But it's those kind of people who'll probably have no issue with their children causing a scene either. Having a little bit of respect for your surroundings is all that's required.

Yes and that's understandable but I don't agree that a father trying to entertain his child during dinner is enough reason to expect them to leave.

Many families don't have the luxury of baby sitters and so maybe a lunch out is their only chance at a bit of normality?

My son has autism and so often he can find it really difficult to sit still and not make noise but if he does make too much noise or starts jumping around I will do my best to correct him and get him to sit nicely. Doesn't always work and if I think things will kick off then I leave! But at the same time if I can't actually bring him out in the world to learn the skills we all need to learn at some stage what's the point?

Freedom to behave and do as they please is not acceptable. All the same a bit of tolerance and understanding is appreciated.

Samaris

It is quite possible that the woman felt that asking the management to ask him to quieten down a bit was pulling rather bigger guns into it than she felt was quite justified, so she went and made a personal "look, can you keep it down a bit" rather than make it semi-official.

Pinch Flat

as a parent I've no issue what ever with a small child shrieking with excitement - which is what is sounded like in the op. There is little context though - it's is Eddie Rockets or a Michelin star restaurant? Needs some context.

And in a busy restaurant at lunchtime, it's unlikely to be as quite as a morgue and the child's shrieks of excitement are the only sounds to be heard. It's seems almost fashionable on boards these days to be outraged by these things. And a child that young is not going to sit quietly - sooner or later it's going to make some sort of noise, I'd prefer a child's shrieks of excitement rather than being plugged into a tablet with headphones and peppa pig on loop, which is becoming a more common sight.

The woman was wrong in my opinion to intervene - she can always go somewhere else and the man has an equal right to have his kid there, interacting with him, as she does to enjoy her meal - was she to shut up talking to people in her company and eat in silence?

Dirty Dingus McGee

goz83 wrote: »

I would suggest staying at home, where you won't be plagued by young children who, (god forbid) might make some noise in your ears. Bloody hell, I remember being on a bus when I was 15, on my way to my part time job and there was a lady with a crying baby. Some old lady started giving out to the mother that she should keep the baby quiet. It wasn't bothering me, or the other 3-4 people on the bus. I thought it was out of line, but the next thing that happened, the mother said "right, i'll quiet him" and proceeded to change a dirty nappy. Having a weak stomach, I moved upstairs, but the face on the old lady was priceless

People should have respect for others.

Nobody can blame a baby for crying/shrieking but if someone is encouraging the child to do so it is fairly inconsiderate.

CarrickMcJoe

The father should realise that there's maybe 30 more tables in the restaurant, not just his...

[Deleted User]

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

People should have respect for others.

Nobody can blame a baby for crying/shrieking but if someone is encouraging the child to do so it is fairly inconsiderate.

And that's pretty much it. Children make a scene for many reasons, usually it's not because they are bold but because they are tired or hungry. But encouraging a child into a state where they disturb others is simply inconsiderate. Not terrible, not awful, far better that then seeing someone giving out to a kid...just a little inconsiderate. The lady was right to say it to them rather than make a big deal and drag in the waiter or manager. Course much depends in context, the relative noise in the place etc. But the thread title refers to screaming.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

etoughguy wrote: »

My mistake, clearly the parent was deliberately making the child scream, as you do. I was taking the common sense approach of assuming he was playing with his child but what was I thinking

He was playing with his child in a way that was making the child scream shrilly. Fine at home or in the park but surely in a restaurant you need to be aware of others? And I agree, people shouting into phones or laughing raucously every two minutes are equally annoying.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Keane2baMused wrote: »

Yes and that's understandable but I don't agree that a father trying to entertain his child during dinner is enough reason to expect them to leave.

Many families don't have the luxury of baby sitters and so maybe a lunch out is their only chance at a bit of normality?

My son has autism and so often he can find it really difficult to sit still and not make noise but if he does make too much noise or starts jumping around I will do my best to correct him and get him to sit nicely. Doesn't always work and if I think things will kick off then I leave! But at the same time if I can't actually bring him out in the world to learn the skills we all need to learn at some stage what's the point?

Freedom to behave and do as they please is not acceptable. All the same a bit of tolerance and understanding is appreciated.

Nobody is expecting him to leave. They're just asking him to stop making the child scream. 10 mins of a screaming baby is not enjoyable. If the child is distressed or needs to calm down, take the child outside and wait until they're calm enough to bring back inside.

I take your point many people can't afford babysitters but there's probably quite a few in the establishment who can't afford to go out for lunch very often, so why is that reason enough for a parent not to act when their child is becoming boisterous or noisey.
It's not the babies/toddlers fault (up until they're old enough to have a bit of manners) babies cry, toddlers get bored, it's not a big deal, it happens. It's how parents then deal with it is the problem. It's not up to everyone else to put up with your child screaming their heads off.

[Deleted User]

What kind of restaurant was it? If it was a cheap cafe type place then nobody should have any expectation of peace, quiet, and an ambiance of fine dining, though the dad could have been more considerate. I'd find it on a par with people on cellphones having audible conversations in terms of nuisance.

If it was a proper restaurant where you order from a menu and the sugar is in a bowl rather than individual packets, then I'd expect management to keep a lid on the noise to some extent, though I would expect to see families out at lunchtime. This is something that should be welcomed, it teaches kids how to behave in public, use proper cutlery and table manners, and other important skills.

I just don't mind kids and babies laughing and having a good time generally, whereas there are people who would like them kept behind doors rather than have their eyes assaulted by kids out in public, anywhere, anytime. One auld lad complained to me about kids playing football in the park. The nerve of those kids, playing outdoors in a space allotted for outdoor activity, don't they even know that adults consider themselves more important by default. It's almost like they were too busy having fun to care.

To Elland Back

The amount of people you think everybody should enjoy their little offspring doing 'cutesy' things in public spaces baffles me. He is your child and you are entitled to enjoy him, but not when it impinges on the equal right of other diners to enjoy their meals. It's no different to people being overly loud in conversation, or intruding in your personal space. It's never the child's fault IMO, it's the parents who need manners