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Drinking at home alone...or drinking in pubs...

[Deleted User]

...so for 20 years I did the whole pub and party thing, last man drinking, crashing in the door at 5 and 6am, and loved it. Sneered at fellows drinking at home, thought it almost pointed to a problem.

In the past year, at the age of 41, I've kinda got the flea in the ear from the wife and went cold turkey. After years of burning the candle at both ends, just switched it off. Now haven't been out after midnight in over a year.

When I was doing the whole partying thing, thought drinking at home alone sounded depressing. Now wife and kid in bed, on 5th can, watching tv...and wondering why I spent so many years thinking this was so bad.

Have I just forgotten how good it was and become institutionalised?

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[Deleted User]

esforum wrote: »

No, I wouldnt be too concerned myself but the doctor would, its classed as binge drinking isnt it?

It was more the image of your wife and child in bed and you arriving home pissed as a fart at 5am on a regular basis that concerned me,

I hate this attitude that once you get married and have kids that you have to give up having the craic. What's wrong with falling in the door drink at 5am when you have a wife and kid (once your wife isn't s drysh1te and doesn't mind)?

I have no intention of giving up regular nights out when I have kids.

timthumbni

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Jaysus, do you leave the house at all!? Sure you could get hit by a car crossing the road but I doubt that stops you from crossing the road

Well, as I get older I prefer drinking at home as opposed to out. Don't have to worry about standing like a dick begging for a taxi, nor the hoards of pissed up teenagers acting like Mike Tyson on the street at chucking out time, just because they haven't copped a girl.

Plus I tend to be sleeping on my feet at 11 pm when I do go out. This comes with age I suppose.

[Deleted User]

Giovanni Cuddly Beneath wrote: »

I hate this attitude that once you get married and have kids that you have to give up having the craic. What's wrong with falling in the door drink at 5am when you have a wife and kid (once your wife isn't s drysh1te and doesn't mind)?

I have no intending of giving up regular nights out when kids come along.

In fairness...to myself...for the first 19 years and 8 months, there was no kid. And the wife had no huge issue, it was once a week, she knew I wasn't out leering at women, wouldn't drink the rest of the week...but it was classic uncontrolled or binge drinking.

The late late shows went down to once a month or so for first 4 months after baby arrived, and then stopped. Now, I appreciate some may say 6 cans at home is still an issue...but it's a long way from the days of 6 cans at home and heading out at 11 or 12...

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

RayM

Giovanni Cuddly Beneath wrote: »

I hate this attitude that once you get married and have kids that you have to give up having the craic. What's wrong with falling in the door drink at 5am when you have a wife and kid (once your wife isn't s drysh1te and doesn't mind)?

I have no intention of giving up regular nights out when I have kids.

That's one hell of a grim post. I hope you never have kids.

boobar

I live in a small village, unless you make arrangements to meet friends at the pub, you're likely to walk into a near empty pub even at the weekend.

So, you end up paying through the nose to drink at the pub anyway. And you have to watch whatever the publican wants to watch, usually something dire and depressing hence the empty pub.

So, I usually choose a decent bottle of red, nice takeaway, stream a movie.

I'd say I've been out about 3 times since Christmas and have a healthier bank balance as well.

[Deleted User]

RayM wrote: »

That's one hell of a grim post. I hope you never have kids.

This is exactly the attitude I was talking about, didn't take long....

You don't have to give up on life once you have kids

Sure already that fact I'm in my 30's and out drinking at least once a week some people would have an opinion on as you are suppose to have "setteled down" and only go out once every two months or some nonsense like that. Talk about boring.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

suicide_circus

Sometimes I like to blare some appalling music, drink out of a jam jar and lock myself in the hot press. To complete the illusion of going out, I flush 80 euro down the jacks and get the missus to refuse me entry.

[Deleted User]

suicide_circus wrote: »

I flush 80 euro down the jacks and get the missus to refuse me entry.

Erm.

Umm.

I want some clarification on this...

[Deleted User]

Giovanni Cuddly Beneath wrote: »

This is exactly the attitude I was talking about, didn't take long....

You don't have to give up on life once you have kids

Sure already that fact I'm in my 30's and out drinking at least once a week some people would have an opinion on as you are suppose to have "setteled down" and only go out once every two months or some nonsense like that. Talk about boring.

I was gonna keep up the routine, but it proved impossible. I think if I had been able to do the 6 pints, home for midnight, I possibly would be going out more often. One of my closest friends had a kid at the same time and still gets out for the odd session, but he was more of a 2am type anyway. I haven't given up on the pub completely, mind you, but it's once a month, home for midnight...and getting so comfortable with cans at home that it's possibly closer to 2 months since I was last there...

shamrock55

Anyone who drinks alone at home has a problem with drink in my eyes, fine to have one or two before you go out,but to actually stay at home all night drinking on your own is worrying

Tombi!

shamrock55 wrote: »

Anyone who drinks alone at home has a problem with drink in my eyes, fine to have one or two before you go out,but to actually stay at home all night drinking on your own is worrying

You can't be serious.
So if I'm having wine at home with whatever girl I'm going out with, that's a problem if we stay in and drink?
Or if I have a few cans watching a match?
Or if we had a BBQ and a few people have a few cans on a nice summer day?

KERSPLAT!

Tombi! wrote: »

You can't be serious.
So if I'm having wine at home with whatever girl I'm going out with, that's a problem if we stay in and drink?
Or if I have a few cans watching a match?
Or if we had a BBQ and a few people have a few cans on a nice summer day?

He did say on your own, not that I agree, it's just not something I'd be into.

andekwarhola

Never even kept drink in the house when I was younger because it'd never get touched. And I also thought drinking in the house was a bit sad and preferred going out.

Now, I enjoy a few beers in the house (alone, with partner or with friends) sometimes. Drinking at home is enjoyable these days as well because of the amount of decent beers you can now get in ireland.

Still enjoy going out though.

One isn't better than the other, they're both good in different ways

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

RayM

Giovanni Cuddly Beneath wrote: »

This is exactly the attitude I was talking about, didn't take long....

You don't have to give up on life once you have kids

It gets grimmer and grimmer. If I felt that not falling in the door drunk at 5am was akin to 'giving up on life', I'd reassess whether I was mature enough to have children. I'd also have a long think about life itself.

Patww79 wrote: »

What do you suggest then. Pop a kid and swap it all for afternoon teas in the Shelbourne instantly?

I'd suggest not being a selfish parent. If only there was some middle-ground between 'falling in the door drunk at 5am' and having 'afternoon tea in the Shelbourne...'

andekwarhola

How Irish to think that getting plastered in a pub is craic yet having a six pack in front of a movie at home alone is alcoholic.

Alcoholism is about your relationship with alcohol, not where or with whom you choose to consume it.

[Deleted User]

shamrock55 wrote: »

Anyone who drinks alone at home has a problem with drink in my eyes, fine to have one or two before you go out,but to actually stay at home all night drinking on your own is worrying

I fully agree, staying up drinking "all night" would point to a problem.

Did you never drink at home at all...maybe it was another shamrock who spoke of only giving up as they had 2 kids...

Torricelli

Never drank in the house and never will. I find it a little sad and tight fisted to be honest. It's nice to go out to the pub and catch up with friends and neighbors.

Fred Talbot

Quite enjoy sitting at home with a few beers. You put on the music you want and just chill out. The is one major drawback to drinking at home, you'll never meet a woman that way. So inevitably you force yourself to back to pub.

Also it's not a good idea to have a lot of drink in the house because when you get back from the pub you tend to lay into it.

[Deleted User]

Torricelli wrote: »

Never drank in the house and never will. I find it a little sad and tight fisted to be honest. It's nice to go out to the pub and catch up with friends and neighbors.

That was me, looking across at the fellows clutching the 6 beers for the night as I was buying drink for the post pub party, thinking how grim it all looked.

Now I'm in the queue with the middle aged men.

One just...readjusts... I kinda look back on the late nights and wince. I mean, there were some great nights, the 00s were a ball...but in recent years there were many when I was trying to convince myself I was having a good time when it really wasn't worth the hangover. It was a case of diminishing returns.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

Tombi!

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

He did say on your own, not that I agree, it's just not something I'd be into.

I missed the alone part.

Fred Talbot

shamrock55 wrote: »

Anyone who drinks alone at home has a problem with drink in my eyes, fine to have one or two before you go out,but to actually stay at home all night drinking on your own is worrying

What a miserable puritanical attitude.

[Deleted User]

RayM wrote: »

It gets grimmer and grimmer. If I felt that not falling in the door drunk at 5am was akin to 'giving up on life', I'd reassess whether I was mature enough to have children. I'd also have a long think about life itself.

I'd suggest not being a selfish parent. If only there was some middle-ground between 'falling in the door drunk at 5am' and having 'afternoon tea in the Shelbourne...'

I don't see anything grim about it.

Also why is it being a selfish parent? I would fully expect me to be looking after the child a different night and my gf/wife to be out on the lash.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Once in a while would be fine for a bender with kids, if say you weren't with the other parent and the kid was not staying in your house, or if the kid was staying at their grandparents.

If my fella was coming in every sat night, making a racket, and spending the entire next day ignoring the child because he wasn't in til 5 o clock and he's on the verge of death, I'd be fair pissed off. Wouldn't like my kid seeing that to be honest. And I'm no dry****e either

timthumbni

Torricelli wrote: »

Never drank in the house and never will. I find it a little sad and tight fisted to be honest. It's nice to go out to the pub and catch up with friends and neighbors.

Tight fisted?? So someone can buy a beer from an offie at about a quarter of the price for a pint in a bar. That's not tightfisted. It's sound economical practise.

I see plenty of sad sights in bars. And they are paying royally for it.

Discodog

When I moved back here 15 years ago I wandered into the local pub that had an off sales hatch in the door. I bought some tins & headed home. After doing this a few times a neighbour said that it had been "noticed" that I was drinking at home. He asked if I had a "problem". It had also been noticed that I was a single guy who wasn't in the pub every night. The conclusion was that I must be a recovering alcoholic.

I continue to live alone, I have a can every night & I love life.

RayM

Giovanni Cuddly Beneath wrote: »

I don't see anything grim about it.

Also why is it being a selfish parent? I would fully expect me to be looking after the child a different night and my gf/wife to be out on the lash.

You don't see anything grim about the idea that not 'falling in the door drunk at 5am' is equivalent to 'giving up on life'?

Whether it's selfish or not depends on whether you believe it's ok for a child to see their parents seriously drunk or hungover. To me, that sounds like the classic ingredients for a very depressing childhood.

But once you have your fun, eh?