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Do Atheists have different funerals to religious people?

pgj2015

I was baptized catholic but do not believe in god, and never go to mass, if I get married it will not be in a church, If I have kids they won't be baptized. also I don't want a priest talking at my funeral so can you bypass the whole church funeral bit most people seem to go through?

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mickoneill31

Baggy Trousers wrote: »

Good idea but you still need burial after 2 to 3 college years (depending on when in college year you died).

Not necessarily. A quick google got me this.

https://www.ucc.ie/en/anatomy/anatomicalbequests/

They'll take your body for a couple of years then cremate it at their expense when they're finished with it. It doesn't say what they do with the ashes.

Ruu

I want to blown out of a cannon and everyone have a good laugh for my funeral.

farmchoice

pgj2015 wrote: »

This would be my worst nightmare, I think it is disrespectful and selfish of your family to give you a catholic funeral when they know you are atheist and have a dislike for organised religion, the reason I would hate to have a catholic funeral is I would prefer people to be like " fair play to him, hes having the funeral he wants and is not conforming to what Irish society feels is appropriate, the last thing I would want to be thought of is another sheep who doesn't have his own mind. also I would want people to have a party, not be crying in a cold church.

well if they use the church i suspect they will it is well heated if nothing else.
what people will think is this ''this would drive farmchoice up the fcuking wall!! still fair play to mrs farmchoice for doing her own thing she has enough to worry about now, never mind that clowns daft notions, god he had her heart broken going on about atheism, not that she is much of a catholic herself she hasn't darkened the door of a church since she was married in one 20 years ago.

ginger_hammer

I've been to 2 non-religious funerals of a humanist persuasion (my dad and my grand-dad), both were as good as they could have been with personal stories from people who knew them, and also the humanist celebrant took a long time speaking to family before hand to get a good grasp on the individual so spoke like they knew the person.

I think this is a million times better than generic religious blather that has nothing to do with the deceased.

My girlfriend and I will take the same route when the time comes - I'm on strict orders not to let her parents try and take over and do the holy church thing!

BizzyC

meeeeh wrote: »

I am an atheist, I don't care how I am buried, neither did my grandparents.

Good for you.

As I said some people think funerals are for the living, which it appears is what you would believe since you don't care what happens when you're gone.

I think a funeral should celebrate the person who's departed, which is why I'd think it important to have a funeral in line with what that person believed, not what I believe.

freshpopcorn

Over the last few years I've noticed funerals become more diverse compared to before. Most people generally go with the flow. Even when the situation is different they just try and figure out what to do in the situation when they read the death notice. The only funerals I've ever really heard of people being awkward around were when people tried to make a party out of them. They close relatives and friends were upset and felt like they had to put on a happy show and the people who were attending the funeral and didn't know how to act.

meeeeh

BizzyC wrote: »

Good for you.

As I said some people think funerals are for the living, which it appears is what you would believe since you don't care what happens when you're gone.

I think a funeral should celebrate the person who's departed, which is why I'd think it important to have a funeral in line with what that person believed, not what I believe.

Yes it would be lovely for my grandmother to listen to the speeches from my grandfather's drinking buddies who were nowhere near last couple of years when his colonoscopy bag needed to be changed because his drinking turned internal organs to mush.

He was not a bad man but when he died my mother and grandmother were the ones who needed respect and support.

Mark Tapley

Spike Milligan wanted to be buried in a washing machine to mess with future archaeologists.

Mr. CooL ICE

I want my useful organs to be donated, but the rest of my body to be chopped up and fed to pigs. I've eaten so much bacon in my lifetime that I would see this as being symbolic of the circle of life. If my loved ones then want to eat the pigs, then fair enough.

Mmm, bacon.

Baggy Trousers

mickoneill31 wrote: »

Not necessarily. A quick google got me this.

https://www.ucc.ie/en/anatomy/anatomicalbequests/

They'll take your body for a couple of years then cremate it at their expense when they're finished with it. It doesn't say what they do with the ashes.

I understand they will also pay towards a full burial if the family requests that.

RDM_83 again

ThatGeekGirl wrote: »

I always wanted a viking burial, you can't legally do that now though can ya?

Aye the whole rape and human sacrifice thing tends to be frowned upon these days damn PC crowd ruining things

I know the detailed the description is only one literary source but there is some pretty solid evidence for occasional Human sacrifice at burials,

PS wildly of topic but Viking paganism should never be mistaken for being "nice"

Deep Six

Lyaiera wrote: »

I can't even begin to imagine how much pain I'd suffer knowing the Christian God is real and I rejected it.

Why would you suffer pain? Isn't the Christian God a great care bear in the sky who loves everyone? I'd rather get on with my mortal time on this earth and enjoy myself than worrying about something nobody has ever even come close to proving the existence of.

ThatGeekGirl

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Aye the whole rape and human sacrifice thing tends to be frowned upon these days damn PC crowd ruining things
I know the detailed the description is only one literary source but there is some pretty solid evidence for occasional Human sacrifice at burials,

PS wildly of topic but Viking paganism should never be mistaken for being "nice"

don't know where the viking paganism comes into it - I just want to be put on a boat and have it burned (sans the slaves seen as I don't have any) then have a stone tomb thingy piled up so if someone wants to come visit my remains they can.

Asaiah

Mark Tapley wrote: »

Your belief in this nonsense is hard for me to fathom . In the real world I avoid discussions of belief in Gods as the truth is I don't respect them . At the same time I have no wish to cause upset to friends and family. I allow myself to be frank on Internet fora as people have freely entered a discussion. I bear no ill will towards to you but think your beliefs are childish.

Just because you cannot fathom something doesn't mean it's nonsense. People look at a computer program and see nonsense, where another see's perfect sense.

What is nonsense is to believe that the universe and all life is the result of random events, nonsense is the belief that the universe sprung from nothing. It's strange how people have no problem with the idea that there was a singularity event in the beginning but cannot accept that there was a cause to this singularity event, a creator. The case here seems to be that some of us understand reality and others are unable to. It's sad that you have decided to reject God, I feel sorry for you. I doubt you would deny that we live in a lawful universe, but yet you deny there is a law maker. The very reality around you is testament to God, it is a miracle that we exist, that this universe exists, that anything can exist.

The Randy Riverbeast

ThatGeekGirl wrote: »

don't know where the viking paganism comes into it - I just want to be put on a boat and have it burned (sans the slaves seen as I don't have any) then have a stone tomb thingy piled up so if someone wants to come visit my remains they can.

It's not that you cant have it done, it's just the people attending need to be prepared to run when the gardai show up. It's not like they can un burn you.

Deep Six

Asaiah wrote: »

Just because you cannot fathom something doesn't mean it's nonsense. People look at a computer program and see nonsense, where another see's perfect sense.

What is nonsense is to believe that the universe and all life is the result of random events, nonsense is the belief that the universe sprung from nothing. It's strange how people have no problem with the idea that there was a singularity event in the beginning but cannot accept that there was a cause to this singularity event, a creator. The case here seems to be that some of us understand reality and others are unable to. It's sad that you have decided to reject God, I feel sorry for you. I doubt you would deny that we live in a lawful universe, but yet you deny there is a law maker. The very reality around you is testament to God, it is a miracle that we exist, that this universe exists, that anything can exist.

The ironing here is delicious

legocrazy505

Asaiah wrote: »

Mark Tapley wrote: »

Your belief in this nonsense is hard for me to fathom . In the real world I avoid discussions of belief in Gods as the truth is I don't respect them . At the same time I have no wish to cause upset to friends and family. I allow myself to be frank on Internet fora as people have freely entered a discussion. I bear no ill will towards to you but think your beliefs are childish.

Just because you cannot fathom something doesn't mean it's nonsense. People look at a computer program and see nonsense, where another see's perfect sense.

What is nonsense is to believe that the universe and all life is the result of random events, nonsense is the belief that the universe sprung from nothing. It's strange how people have no problem with the idea that there was a singularity event in the beginning but cannot accept that there was a cause to this singularity event, a creator. The case here seems to be that some of us understand reality and others are unable to. It's sad that you have decided to reject God, I feel sorry for you. I doubt you would deny that we live in a lawful universe, but yet you deny there is a law maker. The very reality around you is testament to God, it is a miracle that we exist, that this universe exists, that anything can exist.

Atheism isn't a religion, it's a lack of belief entirely. You seem to be implying the atheism is a belief therefore religion.

You know what I find sad about the human race is people who preach as if there word is the "truth". Atheists would be gladly proven wrong, can you prove your God is real? Can you prove there is this law maker you believe in? Can you prove anything said in the Bible actually happened?

Go on and prove to the world that God exists, bet you'll have as much success as people who think there's a teacup orbiting the sun.

Ben Gadot

My dad had a humanist ceremony and it was nice, and plenty of people loved the service.

The only thing I would say about a humanist ceremony that I'd view negatively is the pressure you feel to get up and say something. It's not enough for just one person to give their "eulogy", as if only one person spoke the whole thing would end in 10 minutes.

Which is good in a way, but for me it would have been a slight disservice to my oul lad. And you know many other people would feel the same way, that's where the pressure comes from. So I got up and said a few words, and unfortunately it didn't end well for me.

So all I'd say is if you really don't want the ringmarole of a religious ceremony and have the fortune to decide what you want, I'd suggest going directly to the graveyard or crematorium. The humanist ceremony is essentially no different for me as the structure of it is generally the same.

BizzyC

meeeeh wrote: »

Yes it would be lovely for my grandmother to listen to the speeches from my grandfather's drinking buddies who were nowhere near last couple of years when his colonoscopy bag needed to be changed because his drinking turned internal organs to mush.

He was not a bad man but when he died my mother and grandmother were the ones who needed respect and support.

I'll try state my point for a third time......you don't have to have the same type of funeral as I would do.
I see two perspectives on funerals, you use one, I use the other.
Unlike a religion, Atheists are free to do what we want, there's no rule book as to how we have to do things, aside from laws preventing things like viking funerals.

If someone doesn't care what kind of funeral they have then yeah, work away and have whatever funeral the family wants.
I was making a point that I'd find it disrespectful to hold a religious funeral for someone who was against the idea of one when they were living.

Zen65

Asaiah wrote: »

Just because you cannot fathom something doesn't mean it's nonsense. People look at a computer program and see nonsense, where another see's perfect sense.

What is nonsense is to believe that the universe and all life is the result of random events, nonsense is the belief that the universe sprung from nothing.

Atheists do not believe that the universe sprang from nothing. We just refrain from joining the dots by inventing a perpetual god, as there is no evidence to support that theory.

I've lived a life which has been broadly very happy and privileged. I hope that when I die my family will respect my wishes not to try join the dots of my life and death at my funeral by suggesting that my existence was planned by a god who loved me enough to bestow a good life on me, but didn't share that love with others of my species whose lives have been pure misery. For that reason alone I abhor the sermons at religious ceremonies.

Mark Tapley

Asaiah wrote: »

Just because you cannot fathom something doesn't mean it's nonsense. People look at a computer program and see nonsense, where another see's perfect sense.

What is nonsense is to believe that the universe and all life is the result of random events, nonsense is the belief that the universe sprung from nothing. It's strange how people have no problem with the idea that there was a singularity event in the beginning but cannot accept that there was a cause to this singularity event, a creator. The case here seems to be that some of us understand reality and others are unable to. It's sad that you have decided to reject God, I feel sorry for you. I doubt you would deny that we live in a lawful universe, but yet you deny there is a law maker. The very reality around you is testament to God, it is a miracle that we exist, that this universe exists, that anything can exist.

You are really wasting your time directing this kind of tripe at me.

ThatGeekGirl

The Randy Riverbeast wrote: »

It's not that you cant have it done, it's just the people attending need to be prepared to run when the gardai show up. It's not like they can un burn you.

Yeah I see what you are saying but realistically it would be hard to organise without having to answer to the authorities somewhere. You would have to find someone to make a boat, then somewhere to put the boat for the ceremony knowing at the end you will have a pile of ash and burnt wood - which in itself will bring the Gardai or the council down on your back especially if you decided to do it on public land (I don't know anyone who would have a plot of private land willing to let us use it). Also who would release my body to the family to put it on the boat? would they have to do a kidnap style heist to get it? I am pretty sure there are legal regulations around burial/disposal of a body so they might not support the whole boat burning thing.

DEFTLEFTHAND

farmchoice wrote: »

that's about the height of it. i knew a woman who wanted to donate her body to science, her family are distraught about it, not for religious reasons, they are your average Irish lapsed Catholics, its just the idea of her body not being buried. its just the cultural norm.

i'm an atheist and would like a humanist service of some sort when i die. the wife however has made it clear that i can forget about it and if i do drop dead i will get a catholic ceremony because she knows how to organize that and how it works and what with the dead husband and bawling kids doesn't need the hassle of trying to sort out the humanist one.
ill be dead so i really won't care, still you would think she could at least pretend while i'm alive!!

In regards to science donation is the body not returned to the family after 3 years? I know of one case where a young guy donated his body to be used in medical training. After 3 years he was returned to his family for burial.

Lost in Time

I wonder which is worse, stuck in a room full of Muslims or stuck in a room full of atheists?

Mark Tapley

Lost in Time wrote: »

I wonder which is worse, stuck in a room full of Muslims or stuck in a room full of atheists?

At school myself and my classmates were stuck in a room with one Christian brother that was bad enough. If it was a room full of them I would make a run for it.

Any Muslims I have met did not have a lot to say about Islam.

mrpdap

Hi, yes you can certainly have a non religious funeral.
We had a non religious goodbye when my bh passed away.
Its up to you what you do at it, there's no script!!
Afterwards we retired to a hostelry for beer and sandwiches in the best tradition.

legocrazy505

Lost in Time wrote: »

I wonder which is worse, stuck in a room full of Muslims or stuck in a room full of atheists?

American Christians are probably worse, I mean you only have to watch things like Jesus Camp and God Loves Uganda to see that. Depends on which type of Muslims, all the Muslims I've met don't speak about their faith that much at all and don't see the need to brag about how great Allah is to them. Atheists are cool with anyone as long as you don't start preaching your "truth". We won't go quizzing you on belief until you start preaching it.

HardenendMan

Only times I've been at mass in the last five or so years has been to funerals. I do be bemused by the whole thing. The priest waffling on about the dead being up with our Lord now and 95% of the time is spent reciting the same old cultish tripe. The bit that really annoys me is when they hold up a chalice of plonk and then a bit of wafer. It's actually disrespectful to the dead to spend so much time talking nonsense.

deeduck48

Most Atheists or non religious friends would be planning cremation, as i will, i dont get the hundreds of people coming to say goodbye, yet wouldnt have seen the person in yrs? A young man in our locality was killed in a horrific crash, a few yrs ago, and i heard a woman in a local shop, bragging that they qued outside his family home for 3hrs (!!!) to pay respect, and had great craic!!!!!!

wokingvoter

HardenendMan wrote: »

Only times I've been at mass in the last five or so years has been to funerals. I do be bemused by the whole thing. The priest waffling on about the dead being up with our Lord now and 95% of the time is spent reciting the same old cultish tripe. The bit that really annoys me is when they hold up a chalice of plonk and then a bit of wafer. It's actually disrespectful to the dead to spend so much time talking nonsense.

Yeah. Do you know what would be great? If bereaved people had a choice in what to do with the corpse of their loved one?
Oh wait! They do....
What else would be great is if friends of the bereaved had a choice in where they offer their condolences to the bereaved?
Oh wait....they have that too....