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Child Item

Objects that don't work

Day Lewin

To quote that excellent scruffy detective Lovejoy, most things aren't.

Money is only paper and scrap metal, it isn't really worth anything in its own right, not like in the Olden Daze when it was actually connected with the value of real gold and silver.

Well, jugs that don't pour properly? I mean, why does this object exist? Someone got paid to design it - (one presumes. But there again...)

A machine got tooled up to produce it, probably by the million. The Pyrex company got their proud company name stamped on it. I pay real paper money to a hardware shop and bring it home.

And you fill this with water or milk etc and attempt to pour...there's a little sulky lip right there, supposedly to facilitate pouring. And the liquid gloops over the edge and spills on the table and continues to drip. Blob blob.

I mean, did nobody TEST these things before allowing good factory time and materials to be spent on them?
How can you call it a jug if it won't pour? A flowerpot would do a better job.

Inspired by this thought, the Pyrex measuring jug now holds a pot plant.

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darkpagandeath

sadie1502 wrote: »

Tesco self service tills. Crap hate them they see me coming and refuse to work.

Is that what you tell the person checking the unexpected item in the bagged area ? You know the Flat screen telly.

:pac:

sadie1502

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Is that what you tell the person checking the unexpected item in the bagged area ? You know the Flat screen telly. :pac:

Drives me nuts. Unexpected item in bagging area !!! God I hate those tills.

Stigura

katemarch wrote: »

Well, jugs that don't pour properly? ..... Pyrex measuring jug now holds a pot plant.

Hang on! Kate; I just went out to put my boiled rice on. It so happens that I put boiling water in it and stick it in the micro. In my one litre, PYREX Measuring Jug. (Red lettering?)

Thinking of this thread, I poured some water out of it. Sweet as a mountain stream! Lip handled the flow beautifully. So; What was up with yours

Now, this fukcing Severin electric kettle of mine?! (By their names shall they be known) Useless fukcing thing! Pisses water everywhere :mad:

Stigura

Harry Palmr wrote: »

Speaking of jugs - my dirt cheap Chinese made kettle is useless really, if you try to pour beyond a certain angle it dribbles a stream down its front so leaving a pool at the "base" as you fill the cup. Also it doesn't have a reliable shut off so you can switch it on empty and it'll stay on!

Harry knows!

MarkAnthony

katemarch wrote: »

To quote that excellent scruffy detective Lovejoy, most things aren't.

I'm obviously missing the reference as the only Lovejoy I can remember is the antiques dealer.

looksee

katemarch wrote: »

Oh, it is currently employed as a cache-pot, the actual plant is in a pot of its own.

The purpose of a cachepot is to hide the plastic flowerpot. So if you put it in a clear-glass container all you have done is add a handle and a row of red print to a plastic flowerpot.

(I have one of those jugs and it pours fine)

Capt'n Midnight

Wibbs wrote: »

Dyson vacuum cleaners

yeah Dyson's suck.

Wibbs

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

yeah Dyson's suck.

Feck off you.

darkpagandeath

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

yeah Dyson's suck.

Pff, Not if you turn them onto blow fill them with spiders. Then you have a spider gun. Hmmm New invention ?

rubadub

RainyDay wrote: »

The problem is that many designers (product designers, architects, ICT app and web designers) value form over function. They want something that looks great, but they put little value on how the bloody thing works.

Often the designers have little or no say in it. Its the gobshites above them who decide on how it should look and don't give a damn how it works.

Mister Vain

The machines at Tesco work most of the time but the poxy trays are far too small. You can only fit a few items in it.

Fulltimer

Condoms

Donald Trump

Meheeecans

Oh wait, no, they take our jobs.

Wait til I get me wall built. That'll learn the pesky little rapey divils fairly lively.

JackieBauer

Hilary Clinton

Menas

Wibbs wrote: »

Dyson vacuum cleaners. Well they kinda work, but not very well and are pure shíte on carpet. The vacuum with no bag that doesn't lose suction, yeah because it has eff all in the first place.

We may fall out over this one Wibbs!
Our Dyson dc29 is 7 years old and is still the best thing going. To prove to my mum how crap her one was we vacuumed her house with the dyson just after she had done it with her hoover.
The amount of dust and crap it picked up from her carpet and hardfloor - her own cleaner never had a chance.

I admit that this could all be a scam. By her. To get us to vacuum her house.

CrowdedHouse

The Lotto ticket readers in shops

Capt'n Midnight

Fulltimer wrote: »

Condoms

"Condoms are useless and ineffective. And they burst!.

Your stomach just can’t cope with the sudden impact of that much raw cocaine."

Ardal O’Hanlon

maryishere

TheHillOfDoom wrote: »

My bugbear is milk containers.

The tesco 2 lite ones are the same price as the lidl ones ( well actually cheaper than the lidl ones, because you can get club card points with lidl ) but yet the tesco ones pour slightly better without dribbling / are more user friendly.

Mister Vain

Menas wrote: »

We may fall out over this one Wibbs!
Our Dyson dc29 is 7 years old and is still the best thing going. To prove to my mum how crap her one was we vacuumed her house with the dyson just after she had done it with her hoover.
The amount of dust and crap it picked up from her carpet and hardfloor - her own cleaner never had a chance.

I admit that this could all be a scam. By her. To get us to vacuum her house.

They'd want to be good for the price of the fecking things.

Crumpets

Pizza cutters

Day Lewin

I've never yet met one of those rolly-wheel type of pizza cutters, that works.

A scissors does the job better, seriously.

Ive gone through a dozen garlic-presses, too: the kind that are supposed to squeeze two handles together, like a nutcracker - which also never work.

To be honest the best nut-cracking system I've ever come across is a bigger base stone with a hollow in it for the nut, and a smaller stone to knock it with. And i now crush garlic with a plastic sort of millstone thing that does a brilliant job.

However, I have a ten-year-old Dyson that still works superbly. Sorry about that!

Thargor

katemarch wrote: »

To quote that excellent scruffy detective Lovejoy, most things aren't.

Money is only paper and scrap metal, it isn't really worth anything in its own right, not like in the Olden Daze when it was actually connected with the value of real gold and silver.

Well, jugs that don't pour properly? I mean, why does this object exist? Someone got paid to design it - (one presumes. But there again...)

A machine got tooled up to produce it, probably by the million. The Pyrex company got their proud company name stamped on it. I pay real paper money to a hardware shop and bring it home.

And you fill this with water or milk etc and attempt to pour...there's a little sulky lip right there, supposedly to facilitate pouring. And the liquid gloops over the edge and spills on the table and continues to drip. Blob blob.

I mean, did nobody TEST these things before allowing good factory time and materials to be spent on them?
How can you call it a jug if it won't pour? A flowerpot would do a better job.

Inspired by this thought, the Pyrex measuring jug now holds a pot plant.

Thats for the best because Pyrex are another company that have decided to switch over to cheap sh1t and trade off their good name, here's mine making a fish sauce a few nights ago. Thats supposed to be laboratory grade glass that can go from
the freezer to boiling water over and over, have a look at the visitor messages on their facebook page, its nothing but people complaining about exploding oven dishes etc.

darkpagandeath

Crumpets wrote: »

Pizza cutters

mezzaluna pizza cutter work every time.

rubadub

Thargor wrote: »

Thats supposed to be laboratory grade glass that can go from
the freezer to boiling water over and over,

not all pyrex brand glass is borosilicate anymore. In the EU its is meant to be, but it would not surprise me if they import the cheaper stuff in some places.

How did yours break? your photo has it on a hob, you were not heating it on a hob were you?

wil

AAA batteries.
Waste of space, same price or dearer than AA, hold quarter the charge and invariably run out just when needed.
Why oh why do manufacturers use them in equipment that could easily take AAs with ease, remotes, torches, etc.
Very few consumer items require their slightly smaller size or weight.
And mostly, grrrrrr, they don't work.

JustAThought

Suspended sentences. Particularly if you've already had 20 or 30.

katemarch wrote: »

I've never yet met one of those rolly-wheel type of pizza cutters, that works.

A scissors does the job better, seriously.

Ive gone through a dozen garlic-presses, too: the kind that are supposed to squeeze two handles together, like a nutcracker - which also never work.

To be honest the best nut-cracking system I've ever come across is a bigger base stone with a hollow in it for the nut, and a smaller stone to knock it with. And i now crush garlic with a plastic sort of millstone thing that does a brilliant job.

However, I have a ten-year-old Dyson that still works superbly. Sorry about that!

Kuhn rikon Epicurean garlic press and wmf/zwilling pizza cutter, sorted!

rsh118

Those truffle slicers. Always end up nearly slicing the end off my thumb!

wil

rsh118 wrote: »

Those truffle slicers. Always end up nearly slicing the end off my thumb!

Did you mean "knife" ?

the_pen_turner

them yokes for mashing the spuds. they bend all over the place