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Child Item

It's the year 566BC

Mint Aero

You've landed back in time naked and empty handed. We'll done. Describe me how you would woo cavewomen or men into the sack with your modern day knowledge.

I'd draw 2 squares on a rock face and then do the joiny liney trick to make it into a 3d box or cube as it's known. Mind blown I bet.

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Princess Consuela Bananahammock

My knowledge of knowing that cavemen lived a lot further back than 566BC...

One eyed Jack

Mint Aero wrote: »

You've landed back in time naked and empty handed. We'll done. Describe me how you would woo cavewomen or men into the sack with your modern day knowledge.

I'd draw 2 squares on a rock face and then do the joiny liney trick to make it into a 3d box or cube as it's known. Mind blown I bet.

If you arrived empty handed, how did you draw on the rocks?

I'd start a fire, lay out a mammoth rug, and crack open a couple of coconuts, sorted

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Id bring my milkshake to the yard and the boys be like ....

me_irl

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

My knowledge of knowing that cavemen lived a lot further back than 566BC...

Heh, deadly.

[Deleted User]

One eyed Jack wrote: »

If you arrived empty handed, how did you draw on the rocks?

I'd start a fire, lay out a mammoth rug, and crack open a couple of coconuts, sorted

Mammoths were extinct by 1800 BCE.

Sh1tbag OToole

Chop down a few trees, try to build some sort of primitive version of a lathe

maudgonner

Most of the guys I attract seem to be cavemen, so I reckon I'd just keep doing what I'm doing now

Sh1tbag OToole

maudgonner wrote: »

Most of the guys I attract seem to be cavemen, so I reckon I'd just keep doing what I'm doing now

Heyyy do you want to join me for a bowl of elk stew? Only clubbed him to death this morning

stoplooklisten

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

Chop down a few trees, try to build some sort of primitive version of a lathe

with what axe?

I'd explain how helicopters work, with a demonstration!

biko

For perspective - in 566BC Newgrange was already 2600 years old.

[Deleted User]

Egyptian civilization is 5,000 yrs old OP. What you're talking about is probably more likely to be in the range of 20,000 yrs ago.

If I landed on earth that long ago I'd be very busy 'inventing' tools and agricultural methods and using all the knowledge I've gained from watching Bear Grylls make parachutes out of fig leaves and suchlike.

maudgonner

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

Heyyy do you want to join me for a bowl of elk stew? Only clubbed him to death this morning

That actually sounds like what would appear on a Michelin star restaurant menu, if you garnished it with some class of wild herb doohickey and a smear of foam.

Pick me up at 8. Literally pick me up, you're meant to be a caveman like.

biko

Around 500BC the Romans had running water and the Greeks had already invented philosophy.
In Ireland the Iron Age started.

But you go chasing cave women OP... :rolleyes:

RayM

I'd go around singing Beatles songs and pretend I wrote them myself. Just like Gary Sparrow in the '90s time-travelling sitcom Goodnight Sweetheart.

[Deleted User]

Mint Aero wrote: »

I'd draw 2 squares ..

Whoa, whoa. Slow down, egghead!

maudgonner

RayM wrote: »

I'd go around singing Beatles songs and pretend I wrote them myself. Just like Gary Sparrow in the '90s time-travelling sitcom Goodnight Sweetheart.

Good luck explaining to them what a yellow submarine is.

stoplooklisten

What year did Jonah live in the whale?

Manach

What about the dinosaurs then - how does the OP deal with them?
If there is one thing I learned from Hollywood, them sauropods and cavemen co-existed.

biko

I heard dinos are like 6000 years old and planted by god.

[Deleted User]

I'd make saddles for the dinosaurs and domesticate them, they can pull rudimentary ploughs and stuff.

Stinicker

I'd be advising that as soon as any lad called Mohammed or Jesus comes along to quickly ignore them. I'd start my own cult like of Religion.

Capt'n Midnight

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

My knowledge of knowing that cavemen lived a lot further back than 566BC...

They survived for a lot longer in Cavan

Capt'n Midnight

Time Machine Cheat Sheet

http://imgur.com/gallery/IhPDcoa

Start off with Health.

Learning about metals is also handy, the big hint here is to make charcoal.
Throw some sand in the mix to get glass, now you can get glasses and microscopes and telescopes.

Once you get copper you can start with electricity

Since by 566BC people had domesticated animals, crop rotation and the horse harness and plough would have been big leaps forward.

Arabic numerals and our modern maths would be handy too.

Junkyard Tom

Candie wrote: »

Mammoths were extinct by 1800 BCE.

I grew up before the internet age when common knowledge was that Mammoths were extinct tens-of-thousands of years ago (which they essentially were as a viable population) and was saddened to learn that a small flock of them survived on little natural sanctuary for thousands years after their species collapsed.

It's terribly poignant learning that Woolly Mammoths were still running, and jumping, around the place after the Pyramids were built having grown up thinking they were extinct in the distant stone-age.

mzungu

Maybe have a ol flutter on the Panathenaic Games.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Manach wrote: »

What about the dinosaurs then - how does the OP deal with them?
.

Probably voted for them.

recylingbin

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

My knowledge of knowing that cavemen lived a lot further back than 566BC...

Best reply I've seen in aaaages.

Capt'n Midnight

Candie wrote: »

Mammoths were extinct by 1800 BCE.

Mammoth smammoth, just stick a fur coat on an elephant and no one will know the difference. And besides we'll clone them soon (I hope)

For something better try giant slots, they lasted longer, just as big and had bad ass claws - imagine a five ton grizzly bear standing up.

Also Meiolania a giant turtle,
Megalania was a goanna, but it was the size of a saltie.
Quinkana was a croc. A long legged land croc.

And don't get me started on the Moa's or Roc's or Steller's Sea Cows which survived long past 566BC

The Randy Riverbeast

Humans were a bit more advanced back then than you think. I would probably claim im the Messiah and warn them of the false prophets Jesus and Muhammad.

stoplooklisten wrote: »

with what axe?

I'd explain how helicopters work, with a demonstration!

You punch the trees to get wood, make wooden axes to cut trees faster and a wooden pick to start gathering stone. Then make stone tools and start looking for iron. All these years of survival games will finally become useful.

[Deleted User]

That'd be a cool evening course to do.. How to introduce as many modern concepts as possible if you get landed back in time.

Ya'd learn a lot.