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Buffalo & Doozerie - The mild musings of two grumpy old men!

Lusk Doyle

Having read a fair amount of giving out rants from these two recently and also the responses to same from both the subject matter of said ranting and fellow boardsies, I think it's time for this thread to be rolled out. Their stories are deserving of their own home!

Buffalo, doozerie - care to humour us?

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Rogue-Trooper

I think this belongs in this thread.

So, almost at work this morning and I come to take a right turn on a green filter light. An SUV coming the opposite way is stopped on the red. As I’m half way through my turn, they decide to break their red light and turn left across me! WTF?!! As I get to our car park and see them park up over the far side, I realise it’s someone that works in our place. Could be awkward so I decided not to engage them at that point.

Later on, I headed up to our staff canteen for a spot of porridge and lo and behold, there’s the errant SUV driver having brekkie with her colleagues. I couldn’t resist the temptation. We have different coloured chairs in our canteen. Taking centre-stage and, with much flamboyance, I grabbed a red one and a green one and asked her to verify the colours of each which she duly did, although a little confused. Then, playing to my now intrigued audience, I gestured to the red chair and said to her “If this chair was a traffic light, what would you do?” and added, “Maybe you see where I’m going with this?” She started to go bright red as it dawned on her. At this point I put the rest of them out of their misery and explained what had happened earlier to much guffawing & slagging.

So then, my now mortified colleague pipes up and says, “Yeah, I know – I saw you!” At this point the canteen descends into a chaos of hysteria as I ask with some incredulity, “So, I can assume that it was attempted murder then, that you meant to kill me?! What chance do I have on the open roads if my own co-workers are trying to take me out?!!”. Christ on a bike.

It didn’t take long for the story to spread around our building and to be fair, she did apologise profusely on 3 separate occasions during the day.

There is one female SUV driver out there now that has a new-found awareness of cyclists and hopefully will think twice at traffic signals from here on.

My work here is done.

doozerie

Rogue-Trooper wrote: »

There is one female SUV driver out there now that has a new-found awareness of cyclists and hopefully will think twice at traffic signals from here on.

She'll be sat there indefinitely, waiting for the chair-shaped green light.

doozerie

There must be something in the air at the moment, I've seen more blatant ignoring of red lights by motorists in the last couple of weeks than I've seen over the previous few months.

Just this evening 3 taxis in a row drove straight through the same red light. Traffic was badly backed up so everything was stationary, when the queue past the traffic lights finally moved a little, one taxi driver just seemed to think yerrafukkit and floored it through the light, stopping in the queue no more than 3 car lengths beyond the light. One after the other two more taxis lurched forward, only to have to stop just past the still red light. In their heads I suspect they were high-five-ing each other for sticking it to the man and leaving the other loser traffic in their wake, but back in the real world they looked more like giddy arses. I did feel smug though as I rode past them and off into the distance while they were still stuck there.

That was nothing compared to some of the other antics recently though.

* The motorist that broke his solidly red light at a crossroads, then slowed for the pedestrians crossing on green ahead. Realising that he was now in the middle of the junction and therefore in the path of traffic to his left that had a green light, any concern for the welfare of the pedestrians was apparently outweighed by a sense of embarrassment so he sped up and drove through the pedestrians.

* The woman in the SUV who turned right onto the side road I was (driving) on as I approached the junction. I was still metres short of the junction but she had cut the turn so badly she still nearly drove through the front wing of my car. She was clearly struggling with concepts like steering, lane discipline, and generally not being a complete complete menace on the roads.

* The guy in the IKEA car park who decided that the Nirvana of parking spots was about to escape him. There were plenty of parking spaces everywhere I looked, but presumably none of them was exactly right. So he swung his car round to drive against the one-way system, driving half on the pedestrian walkway and half on the "road" (sure he wouldn't want to be causing an accident by hitting a car, like) to get to that perfect spot. I was walking with my young daughter on the walkway, I managed to limit my reaction to simply pointing at the pedestrian markings as he drove past, his face that curious but familiar mask of "I'm so embarrassed" mixed with "gofukkyerself!". "That was BAD driving!", said my daughter. "Yes it was", I said, just about managing to resist adding, "by a right fukkin eejit!".

* Or the guy in the shiny SUV who blasted through two red lights in a row, at busy junctions, just so that he was a few positions further up in the long queue of stopped cars ahead. If that's what counts as a success I think he should reassess his life.

CramCycle

So I had a car pull out on me today, at a decent clip. I learned two things. One, that Mavic Yksion Elite are not worth a sh1t in regards grip, must change back to my old tyres. And two, even in a non collision (I skidded and remained upright, stopping side on to the car who had reacted to my death curdling scream deep and ferocious roar). The driver then stopped, started, stopped and then just left.

Adrenaline was elevated but I didn't chase but interestingly I had caught the driver at the next junction. I didn't go over as the passenger had a hand covering the face and looking away. I took off my light and shined it on the car, in a vain attempt to point out, I had not come from nowhere, I was quite visible, my light and milk bottle white legs being more reflective than a typical RSA jacket.

To be fair, the driver seen me, then apologised with hand gestures, profusely. I didn't cross over, I just felt, what was the point. They were not going to learn, no cameras on the junction to show what they had done, I just waved my hand and prepared to move on. I had become a normal Dublin commuter, I just didn't care.

Then a red car pulled up beside me, the driver distraught and asking was I OK, she was at the junction and was convinced she was about to see a fatality, asked was I feeling OK etc. Very nice. but I was numb, I said, it's just one of those days, thanks for asking though, and slowly pushed off into the periphery of the drivers mind. I doubt the driver remembered what had happened before they went through the next junction. I used to hope such things made an impact on people, but now, I can't believe that they do, or surely things would have changed by now.

Alek

Dear fellow commuter on a fixie, you were cycling fast enough to show you are not a novice. So, its high time to learn how to USE YOUR BLEEDING BRAKES when drafting behind someone at 34kph in traffic. A few inches to the right and the fire brigade would still be untangling us from between spokes.

(I was slightly outside the painted cycle lane when I had to quickly slow down and veer left as a commuter on a hybrid suddenly turned right and stopped without looking behind. Then your man, following me for some time, just swooshed between me and the kerb)

check_six

CramCycle wrote: »

I doubt the driver remembered what had happened before they went through the next junction. I used to hope such things made an impact on people, but now, I can't believe that they do, or surely things would have changed by now.

Yup, they won't remember. If you had given them an insight into your inner thoughts and how they might avoid doing the same in future they would have remembered something. That "something" being - "This bloody cyclist came from *NOWHERE*, nearly scratched my paintwork, and then started shouting at me as I was stopped at the lights. Hanging's too good for the likes of them!". And their friends would have agreed vigorously.

Leroy42

check_six wrote: »

Yup, they won't remember. If you had given them an insight into your inner thoughts and how they might avoid doing the same in future they would have remembered something. That "something" being - "This bloody cyclist came from *NOWHERE*, nearly scratched my paintwork, and then started shouting at me as I was stopped at the lights. Hanging's too good for the likes of them!". And their friends would have agreed vigorously.

I used to be far more assertive about this than I am now, I tend to just let it go these days. I used to chase the car, catch them and try to ask why they had decided that 2 more seconds wait wasn't worth the risk they put me in. But it nearly always, not matter what approach I took, ends up as a debate about ALL cyclists, lack of lights, too fast, RLJ etc etc. I usually finished by asking them if it was a Garda on the bike would they have done the same. I usually just got told to Fu3k of at that point.

On the other hand, simply letting it go without any notification to the driver seems to be to achieve nothing as the driver simply thinks nothing was wrong.

Fian

Leroy42 wrote: »

I used to be far more assertive about this than I am now, I tend to just let it go these days. I used to chase the car, catch them and try to ask why they had decided that 2 more seconds wait wasn't worth the risk they put me in. But it nearly always, not matter what approach I took, ends up as a debate about ALL cyclists, lack of lights, too fast, RLJ etc etc. I usually finished by asking them if it was a Garda on the bike would they have done the same. I usually just got told to Fu3k of at that point.

On the other hand, simply letting it go without any notification to the driver seems to be to achieve nothing as the driver simply thinks nothing was wrong.

http://www.airzound.co.uk/

A tap on this on time often avoids the issue arising in the first place, alternatively afterwards it is generally enough to get a wave of apology as opposed to:

"If I look straight ahead and studiously ignore what has just happened maybe I can avoid the embarrassment of acknowledging, to myself or anyone else, that I have just been very stupid and put someone else at risk."

Does need to be used responsibly/appropriately. I do still have occasional pangs of guilt for the time i popped it directly behind a skanger who was making a point of swaggering and weaving along the canal bike path with both arms outstretched during rush hour, to demonstrate to his friends how hard and intimidating he was and how he didn't have to give way for anyone. That demonstration was somewhat undermined when he jumped and shrieked like a girl at what he must have assumed was a motorbike/car immediately behind him. I honestly do feel guilty about that but to my discredit the guilt is also tempered with a touch of satisfaction. Anyway that is the only time I have ever sounded it at a pedestrian, as regards cars the sound is no different than another vehicles horn.

Though now I think of it I am amazed that Dublinbike guy doesn't have one. Though he would probably find stopping every 500 metres to pump it up again after he had exhausted the reservoir a bit of an inconvenience.

Bloggsie

saw a beauty this morning on Dorset St, a bloody idiot on a DB kept on going straight even though a taxi has passed him safely, indicated to turn left at the Auld Triangle pub, the taxi driver must have had an inclination of what this numpty was going to do as he crawled around the corner, the "cyclist" carried on straight through the junction shouting and giving the fingers to the taxi.

CramCycle

Bloggsie wrote: »

saw a beauty this morning on Dorset St, a bloody idiot on a DB kept on going straight even though a taxi has passed him safely, indicated to turn left at the Auld Triangle pub, the taxi driver must have had an inclination of what this numpty was going to do as he crawled around the corner, the "cyclist" carried on straight through the junction shouting and giving the fingers to the taxi.

Suppose it depends how close to the junction he was. The fact that the taxi slowed and waited indicated that he was too close to the junction to be sure he could safely do an overtake or that he wasn't certain what he was at.

Did the DB user have time to pull around the taxi or was he at the rear of the taxi as soon as the taxi slowed down?

BoardsMember

Fian wrote: »

http://www.airzound.co.uk/

A tap on this on time often avoids the issue arising in the first place, alternatively afterwards it is generally enough to get a wave of apology as opposed to:

"If I look straight ahead and studiously ignore what has just happened maybe I can avoid the embarrassment of acknowledging, to myself or anyone else, that I have just been very stupid and put someone else at risk."

Does need to be used responsibly/appropriately. I do still have occasional pangs of guilt for the time i popped it directly behind a skanger who was making a point of swaggering and weaving along the canal bike path with both arms outstretched during rush hour, to demonstrate to his friends how hard and intimidating he was and how he didn't have to give way for anyone. That demonstration was somewhat undermined when he jumped and shrieked like a girl at what he must have assumed was a motorbike/car immediately behind him. I honestly do feel guilty about that but to my discredit the guilt is also tempered with a touch of satisfaction. Anyway that is the only time I have ever sounded it at a pedestrian, as regards cars the sound is no different than another vehicles horn.

Though now I think of it I am amazed that Dublinbike guy doesn't have one. Though he would probably find stopping every 500 metres to pump it up again after he had exhausted the reservoir a bit of an inconvenience.

Is that legal in Ireland? I thought I read somewhere recently that only bells are allowed.

Chips Lovell

That's correct. Airzounds and other horns aren't legal.

Fian

BoardsMember wrote: »

Is that legal in Ireland? I thought I read somewhere recently that only bells are allowed.

There is a statutory instrument from 1963 that would agree with you, but I would not lie awake at night worrying about enforcement. Under that SI all bikes (except where adapted for racing) are required to have a bell and no other type of auditory warning device.

I suspect it has been a very long time since someone has been convicted or fined for not having a working bell fitted to their bike. Nor can I imagine there would be much appetite for prosecuting someone for using "unsanctioned safety equipment" whatever the letter of the law says.

I would be less concerned from a legal point of view with having one of these fitted than I would be with cycling on a bike not fitted with a bell.

Bloggsie

the guy on the DB was IMHO in the wrong, the taxi passed him well before the turn, my guess is that the taxi driver had wittnessed previous poor cycling from the guy on the bike(the amount of redlight jumping on Dorset St is huge, I walk from drumcondra train station a few mornings a week to work).

I keep hearing an old school teachers voce in my head watching poor cycling behaviour, Its all fun & games till someones eye gets knocked out. the people the run red lights will keep on doing it

CramCycle

Bloggsie wrote: »

the guy on the DB was IMHO in the wrong, the taxi passed him well before the turn, my guess is that the taxi driver had wittnessed previous poor cycling from the guy on the bike(the amount of redlight jumping on Dorset St is huge, I walk from drumcondra train station a few mornings a week to work).

I keep hearing an old school teachers voce in my head watching poor cycling behaviour, Its all fun & games till someones eye gets knocked out. the people the run red lights will keep on doing it

I wasn't sure, hard to tell from your OP, If the taxi had passed him in good time, why did he slow down though. The DB rider sounds like a prat but the taxi driver sounds like a poor driver if he can't progress properly.

I do find it irritating when you see someone like that gives out even though they are in the wrong, but a false sense of entitlement often irks me.

OleRodrigo

Alek wrote: »

Dear fellow commuter on a fixie

Fixed or singlespeed?

Alek

Not 100% sure, but rather fixed. He had both brakes though.

CramCycle

he thought he was this guy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qrwp_XkxJU8

Fian

CramCycle wrote: »

he thought he was this guy:

I will watch that film, never seen it, hope it's on netflix but if not will get my hands on it through alternative routes.

CramCycle

Fian wrote: »

I will watch that film, never seen it, hope it's on netflix but if not will get my hands on it through alternative routes.

I wouldn't. I got through a Kris Kringle in work one year as I was the cyclist in the office. If you ignore the story, the stupidity and everything about the movie, it's alright, Danny Askills bits are good and there are one or two nice bike scenes but the movie itself is pants.

buffalo

Dear Internet,

If I knowingly mount the kerb and travel on the footpath to overtake a white van on the left, does that invalidate my right to remonstrate with the driver that his van is impeding significantly on the cycle lane?

Conflictingly yours,
buffalo

CramCycle

Dear user,

This in no way invalidates your right to articulate your disappointment with other road users in-competencies.

As an aside though you should be warned that it does give them a horse that they can mount when they get out of their vehicle. It is important to remember that to be right is easy, to be right and feel smug takes more time and restraint.

Have you considered carefully edited youtube videos? Or maybe dismounting, walking around, and then very obviously facepalming or tutting as you remount your bike. This will not only scare away their horse but elevate you on a cloud of smuggness.

You may receive grief from this but you will be right, which as we all know, is far more important :pac:

Regards

The internet

Leroy42

buffalo wrote: »

Dear Internet,

If I knowingly mount the kerb and travel on the footpath to overtake a white van on the left, does that invalidate my right to remonstrate with the driver that his van is impeding significantly on the cycle lane?

Conflictingly yours,
buffalo

Why not just pass the van on the right and stay on the road? You could then still remonstrate with the van driver.

CramCycle

Fact: If you wear one of those HUMP hi vis back pack covers, you are statistically more likely to be an utterly inconsiderate, bad mannered, twat than any other person on Irish roads.

Rogue-Trooper

CramCycle wrote: »

Fact: If you wear one of those HUMP hi vis back pack covers, you are statistically more likely to be an utterly inconsiderate, bad mannered, twat than any other person on Irish roads.

Yep, they are deffo up there along with people wearing RSA-issued hi-viz vests......

Rogue-Trooper

Cars seemed to be particularly courteous today - must be the sunshine bringing out the best in people unlike my commute home yesterday where 3 cars in a row all turned right on top of me one after the other. It never ceases to amaze me how people will blindly follow the car in front through a junction without checking first if the way is clear. It's not a bike thing either - if I was a bus they probably still wouldn't have seen me as not one of them looked (I was that close I got to see the small print on their tax discs along with the whites of their eyes).

Apologies to the many pedestrians at the junction of New Wapping Street & Sherrif Street yesterday evening at around 5:30 who were startled by my roar of "Woahhhhhhhhh!! Ah, for FUUUUUUCKSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAKE", as my normally mellow demeanour was temporarily disengaged.

buffalo

I was crossing the road this morning at a junction with no pedestrian lights. I waited for the lights to change to red, then did a quick check for traffic but I obviously managed to miss the taxi who came zipping through.

I was very grateful for the beep and the exasperated look he gave me as he slowed, to make sure that I'd be more cautious next time in case he had to break the red light again.

Other than that, it was a lovely quiet cycle in this morning - half the city seems to have taken the day off!

doozerie

I was out for a ride at the weekend, the hills were not being kind to me so my inner couch potato started nagging me about the cost of cycling and how my life would be so much better if I spent less money on cycling stuff and spent more time on the sofa.

The road rose unrelentingly into the distance ahead, I needed a distraction so I started doing rough calculations in my head about how much I've spent on cycling in recent years. I focused on the single biggest expenses, my bikes.

My two "good" bikes are roughly about 5 years old now, averaging the cost of them out over that time I reckon they've cost me in or around 100euro per month, and that figure will obviously reduce over time (even allowing for occasionally replacing parts, etc.).

I spend that amount on my TV+phone+broadband service every month, and all too often I spend as much time shouting at that as getting any real benefit from it so it's debatable whether it adds to my life or detracts from it. By contrast, cycling has offered me huge benefits over the years (health, fitness, satisfaction, challenge, stress relief, etc.), I'm not sure what kind of mental or physical state I'd be in without cycling in my life but it wouldn't be pretty I reckon.

So overall cycling has been an entirely positive aspect of my life. The only dissenting voice is my perineum, it occasionally moans at me about the distress it sometimes has to endure, my search for the "perfect" saddle continues. So if you find yourself humming and hawing over whether to spend money on that new bike you've been fancying for a while, my advice is to buy it, it'll likely pay you back in spades.

As for my ride at the weekend, it quickly became obvious that my inner couch potato was talking rubbish. So I went home and promptly ate him. ...he tasted of couch, ick!

buffalo

You know you need to dial back the adrenaline when you're considering skipping your turn off so you can show some dickhead cyclists how to be a proper polite human being.

buffalo wrote: »

I was crossing the road this morning at a junction with no pedestrian lights. I waited for the lights to change to red, then did a quick check for traffic but I obviously managed to miss the taxi who came zipping through.

I was very grateful for the beep and the exasperated look he gave me as he slowed, to make sure that I'd be more cautious next time in case he had to break the red light again.

The beep worked I guess... I've been more cautious ever since at this junction, particularly when two cars fly through. I've been watching other people there too, and they're the same - extra careful despite a clear green man.

stecleary

People pulling into cycle lanes to let their fat kids out of the car as close to school as possible .............that is all