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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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deaddonkey15

JustShon wrote: »

Have you flown Ryanair recently? It's usually on Ryanair flights.

Maybe people are cheering and clapping because they can finally get off the god-awful sardine-can of a plane?

I don't think I've ever experienced that on a Ryanair flight.

JustShon

deaddonkey15 wrote: »

I don't think I've ever experienced that on a Ryanair flight.

I have, many times.

Sometimes it's just one wanker; starts clapping, nobody joins in, clapping tapers off into silence. That amused me greatly

Ol' Donie

JustShon wrote: »

Have you flown Ryanair recently? It's usually on Ryanair flights.

Maybe people are cheering and clapping because they can finally get off the god-awful sardine-can of a plane?

Just got off a Ryanair flight.

They haven't changed at all, despite that bullshid campaign last year.

Yer Aul One

People who complain about Ryanair but keep flying them.

If you want better service, pay for a dearer airline.

I have travelled Europe for nothing with Ryanair, love them!

Ol' Donie

If i wanted to come home today, it had to be Ryanair. There was no alternative at that time of night. If there was I would easily have coughed up.

On topic...eh...yer one in Spar who looks at me like she hates me when I ask her for a sandwich. I'd be happy to get it myself to save here hating me, but i don't think she'd like that either.

Yer Aul One

Ol' Donie wrote: »

If i wanted to come home today, it had to be Ryanair. There was no alternative at that time of night. If there was I would easily have coughed up.

On topic...eh...yer one in Spar who looks at me like she hates me when I ask her for a sandwich. I'd be happy to get it myself to save here hating me, but i don't think she'd like that either.

Fair play to Ryanair putting on a service to get you home out of hours...and the thanks they get

Ol' Donie

Yer Aul One wrote: »

Fair play to Ryanair putting on a service to get you home out of hours...and the thanks they get

Riiiight.

And fair play to them for not letting me check in all day because their app wouldn't accept my details - later verified as correct by their own staff - and then trying to charge me €40 for trying to check in at the airport.

W*nkers

deaddonkey15

Ol' Donie wrote: »

Riiiight.

And fair play to them for not letting me check in all day because their app wouldn't accept my details - later verified as correct by their own staff - and then trying to charge me €40 for trying to check in at the airport.

W*nkers

You'll no doubt be flying with them again in the near future though.

jungleman

JustShon wrote: »

I have, many times.

Sometimes it's just one wanker; starts clapping, nobody joins in, clapping tapers off into silence. That amused me greatly

Happened on my flight back from Amsterdam last week. We hit the runway in Dublin and a couple of people started clapping, it was hilarious. Knock yourself out and clap the bus driver while you're at it.

armaghlad

If his name is Cian Twomey

JustShon

armaghlad wrote: »

If his name is Cian Twomey

Thank god I'm not the only one who find him insufferable.

jungleman

JustShon wrote: »

Thank god I'm not the only one who find him insufferable.

his voice, his hair, his pubey beard, everything.

armaghlad

JustShon wrote: »

Thank god I'm not the only one who find him insufferable.

I have him blocked on fb. But he is that annoying that I sometimes think about him and then get annoyed at how much he annoys me. Fair play to him though he has a million odd followers. The pr*ck.

JustShon

armaghlad wrote: »

I have him blocked on fb. But he is that annoying that I sometimes think about him and then get annoyed at how much he annoys me. Fair play to him though he has a million odd followers. The pr*ck.

I think following him should be another warning sign that someone is a complete wanker.

wattlebird

Girls who never show their teeth when smiling for photos.

Groups of 3 or 4 people who insist on walking in a horizontal line down the street, and and are so self-absorbed that it doesn't occur to them to just move into single file for a few seconds when someone (me) is walking towards them. I'm then left with the choice of either jumping onto the road/mud or walking straight into one of them. I'll always move half way for someone coming directly towards me, but if they're too ignorant to even notice, I choose the latter option :mad:

Crimsonforce

People who take selfies in the gym.
We don't care about your gains. Wanker

OldNotWIse

Women who do that awful trout put when posing for photos. No you don't look sexy. Yes you do look like a wánker.

Stone Deaf 4evr

foxy farmer wrote: »

People who look for compensation for damage to "shrubs". My "neighbour" wants 50quid after a few of my cattle did this when they got out on the road recently. He claims he had to replace "2 or 3 " plants. Ffs

did this not happen already sometime last year? please tell me I'm not hallucinating.

Stone Deaf 4evr

wattlebird wrote: »

Girls who never show their teeth when smiling for photos.

or you, know, they might be selfconcious about their teeth?

foxy farmer

Stone Deaf 4evr wrote: »

did this not happen already sometime last year? please tell me I'm not hallucinating.

Correct . Had a thread over on farming forum. Lad called again last week. Told him it was a storm in a teacup. Got all high and mighty about principles and the way he was being treated.
A lot more besides me in trouble with this particular couple so best just let them take a hike. Pathetic shoite.

xzanti

Someone who uses the word 'pedigree' when referring to a person's social or moral standing.

Yick.

Wes Palmer Lee

People who post exactly the right thing to say at the right time in order to get dozens of 'thanks'

Kev W

Wes Palmer Lee wrote: »

People who post exactly the right thing to say at the right time in order to get dozens of 'thanks'

Well I think those people are terrific, WHO'S WITH ME?

Shannon757

Kev W wrote: »

Well I think those people are terrific, WHO'S WITH ME?

Thanks whore.

Kev W

Shannon757 wrote: »

Thanks whore.

You're welcome.

Shannon757

Kev W wrote: »

You're welcome.

Well played sir, well played.

The Highwayman

wattlebird wrote: »

Girls who never show their teeth when smiling for photos.

Groups of 3 or 4 people who insist on walking in a horizontal line down the street, and and are so self-absorbed that it doesn't occur to them to just move into single file for a few seconds when someone (me) is walking towards them. I'm then left with the choice of either jumping onto the road/mud or walking straight into one of them. I'll always move half way for someone coming directly towards me, but if they're too ignorant to even notice, I choose the latter option :mad:

People walking shoulder to shoulder on the pavement is an easy one. As they approach and it looks like they are not going to move out of the way just stop and stand still, they will always get out of your way then and usually murmur some sort of apology

[Deleted User]

People who when posting a link to something and call it "linky"

Martypants1

wattlebird wrote: »

Girls who never show their teeth when smiling for photos.

Add to that girls who have a fake smile. Coincides with a scrunched forehead.

Wes Palmer Lee

Kev W wrote: »

Well I think those people are terrific, WHO'S WITH ME?

And so the prophecy was fulfilled....