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Child Item

Embarassing yourself in public

One More Toy

Is it just me or does everyone seem to embarrass themselves publicly at least once a week?

I find in conversation with people i dont know well i make a tít out of myself somehow.

And my brain tends to randomly remind me of these instances at silly times, like walking to work or falling asleep

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Car99

I was at work doing a job in a large facilty and two people who I didn't know were having a conversation right beside me and I couldn't help but overhear it , anyways I was doing a tricky bit of my job and missed a bit of their conservation so turned around and said sorry I missed that bit....... The two of them just stared at me , all I could say was sorry don't mind me . I couldn't even leave I had to finish what I was doing.

[Deleted User]

Menas wrote: »

Back in december I was at dublin airport. Went to the gents and all the urinals were busy so I took a cubicle. Closed the door behind me.
Dropped my jeans and boxers to my ankles and had a piddle standing up.

Just as I finished I realised that the lock on the door was not working and the door had swung open and I had been standing there with my bare ass exposed to the world.

Got some looks of absolute disgust from a few fellas as I left the bathroom.

You're lucky you didn't get the hole lashed off you!

castletownman

On the toilet theme, I was at a wedding a few years ago and walked into the toilet straight to the first empty cubicle and started "the evacuation procedure". Job done and in the process of washing my hands I was wondering why there were no urinals in the spot. At that moment a woman emerges from the other cubicle and gets the fright of her life seeing a strange man using the women's WC.

Of course, the place started filling up as I was leaving, allowing more women to see the spectacle.

The soap was unlike anything I have experienced in the male jacks though

discus

castletownman wrote: »

On the toilet theme, I was at a wedding a few years ago and walked into the toilet straight to the first empty cubicle and started "the evacuation procedure". Job done and in the process of washing my hands I was wondering why there were no urinals in the spot. At that moment a woman emerges from the other cubicle and gets the fright of her life seeing a strange man using the women's WC.

Of course, the place started filling up as I was leaving, allowing more women to see the spectacle.

The soap was unlike anything I have experienced in the male jacks though

Did that at a pub in England before. Thing was, all the women were queuing up to get into the mens toilet and were acting like total idiots, so I decided to use their instead. No queue

BrianBoru00

West of Ireland funeral. . . Old woman died, Im friendly with the family of her only child "John". Head into funeral home, meet a couple of neighbours on the way out and engage in the awkward handshake of 6 or 7 people sitting that I don't know before arriving at who appeared to be the chief mourner standing with no one after her save maybe 5-6 grandchildren........

So to ensure I don't merely feel like an idiot, I blurt out so that everyone can hear "Wheres John" . . .She looks at me like I've two heads while still shaking my hand, then it dawns on her . "Oh you mean John Doe - They're having the removal from the house! . .
Cue groans of laughter from the grandkids while I hightailed out of their.
MORTO.

This funeral was of another woman from the same general area who I didn't know but hence the neighbours that I recognised.

To be fair, "John" doubled over laughing for about 5 minutes after I told him the story.

Cupcake_Crisis

I'm a master at putting my foot in my gob. Just last week I did it so badly that I made someone cry.

I have a friend who has two ferrets. She's mad about them, loves them to bits. One of them got very sick and was rushed to the vets. I heard no more about it. So she's over in mine for drinks and I go 'how's your ferret?' She looks at me with the saddest expression and tells me he died and starts crying, I feel feckin awful!!

About 30 minutes later another friends dog is chewing something he picked up off the floor, piece of paper of something, and my friend didn't grab it off him on time. So I blurt out 'ah if it didn't kill him it'll make him stronger'. Ferret friend looks at me and just says 'that wasn't really the right thing to say....'

Moral of the story is I'm a spa and canadians don't have a sense of humor.

Stheno

I was doing a presentation to some IT guys, and rather unusually there was a HR person also attending.

As part of the presentation I was talking about how some parts of the business are more important than others, so I used Finance as an example of an important business unit, and without thinking then said "Compare finance to HR, you could do without HR in most places for six months and you wouldn't miss them"

The entire room burst out laughing and I belatedly remembered I had a HR person in the room

And I'd to stay there another two hours and finish up the presentation.

Morto!

AnonoBoy

"Did you hear about Kevin's Mam?"
- Wha? That she's a sore hole from the riding I have her last night!???? :pac:
*Stunned silence*
"......she passed away this morning."

- So my cheeks would you say they're puce or violent red right now?

Stheno

Hmmm, this thread is proving a distraction from my studies and I was reminiscing on many presenting related booboos.

There was the time when I decided to plonk my ass down on the table my stuff was on, not realising it was a collapsible table, which did promptly collapse.

Then I've had numerous clothing mishaps

mfceiling

Sydney 2000, Macy Gray concert. First date with the now Mrs MF.

Paid top dollar for seated balcony seats. Concert starts and 2 gay lads in front instantly stand up and start whooping and dancing, blocking me and herself from seeing anything. After 3 songs it's obvious they're not for sitting. Up I get and tap the 2 lads on the shoulders. "Lads, it's seating only, i paid a fortune for these tickets and all I can see is the back of your heads. If you want to dance just go down to the dancing area downstairs"
Few people behind agree and I hear one "well said"

Just to add emphasis I let out a large "now".

What I forgot was that the seats were the old style cinema seats which went upright when you got up. I sat down and went head over shìte on to the floor!! Missus said she had to almost bite her cheek to stop laughing in my face.

rameire

walking into a church, for the funeral of an extended family member.
walk up to son of the deceased at the door, shake his hand and say
"Good to see you"

AnonoBoy

rameire wrote: »

walking into a church, for the funeral of an extended family member.
walk up to son of the deceased at the door, shake his hand and say
"Good to see you"

I've asked a recently bereaved person "How are you getting on?" at their own parents funeral on more than one occasion.

smash

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I've asked a recently bereaved person "How are you getting on?" at their own parents funeral on more than one occasion.

I'm guilty of something similar myself. Walk up to the top of the church, shake hands and say "hey, nice to see you again"

esforum

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I've asked a recently bereaved person "How are you getting on?" at their own parents funeral on more than one occasion.

"Ah yeah, hows it going?" to a person who is buryng their mother / father / etc. Think we have all been down that road.

I also found myself dragged into the front row at a funeral for a neighbour before, not even dressed remotely respectable for such a position and I was wearing a 24 blood pressure monitor. Every 15 minutes time for a random beeping sound from me followed by my sleeve inflating and deflating (always during a lull in the service of course). After the second beep I just walked down the aisle and out the door, couldnt take a 3rd one.

[Deleted User]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/0c/33/d5/0c33d545fbb1207b7dadc15832afa5a2.jpg

[Deleted User]

I've never embarrassed myself in public.

I certainly never called my boss daddy in a crowded meeting.

>_>
<_<

Peregrine

I embarrass easily but I haven't been in that many embarrassing situations that I can remember, touch wood.

Stheno

I'd a colleauge whose wife had the same name as me, but slightly different spelling.

Every time I rang him, it was "yes love"?

Dante

I have a knack for saying stupid things at the worst time possible, my worst was definitely while on J1 in Califonia a few years ago.

We got chatting to a group of German lads in the hostel on our first day and got onto the topic of Oktoberfest. I was telling them how I wanted to buy a pair of proper lederhosen and head over to Munich for it later that year. Unfortunately for me however I rather cleverly managed to mix up the word 'lederhosen' with 'lebenstraum' which, if you don't already know, was the code name for the Nazi invasion and butchery of Russia during WWII.

The most painfully awkward silence in the history of mankind quite quickly ensued...needless to say we didn't see much of ze Germans again.

cruais

While on teaching placement some years back, they had a walk on wednesday initiative, basically encouraging parents to leave the car at home and walk the kids to school. This extended to the teachers also. I always walked anyway.

Upon arriving to the school on a Wednesday morning, two of the teachers were standing at the gate with stickers to hand out to children who walked. The first teacher said
"Oh you walked cruais! Here, have a sticker!" She peeled it off.

I dunno what possessed me, I thought she was joking,started laughing and just walked off leaving her holding the sticker. Mortified for the rest of my placement.

jungleman

my first embarrassing moment relates to the first time I ever punched someone. Think I was about 10 years old?

I was over at a cousins house visiting, they live in a fairly big estate, and I borrowed one of their bikes to cycle around. The smooth tarmac was a complete novelty where cycling was concerned because my home is in some bog road in the middle of nowhere.

Anyway, I was cycling along having a great time, and this other kid was cycling around too. He stops and just stands with his bike in the middle of the road and just stares at me coming towards him. When I maneuvered to go around him, he turns the handle bars and juts his front wheel out, nearly knocking me off the bike. In that split second I screamed "SHUT UP" at him, and he shouts back laughing "I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING HAHAHAHA".

I was furious with myself and completely mortified that I told him to shut up instead of telling him to "fcuk off", so I cycled around that part of the estate in a complete circle. He was still standing there laughing at me, so I just got off the bike, walked up to him, smacked him one right on the mouth part of his face and spun off. Still mortified.

It's weird, I haven't thought about that in years until I saw this thread.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

After being served by a waiter/waitress anywhere everytime...

"Enjoy your meal"

"You too..."

*Thinks to himself "wtf did I just say?"

bodhrandude

Walking into a cafeteria in Bundoran a few years back, the chippers doors are clear glass and I walked right into it thinking it was a clear space and bounced off it much to the amusement of the patrons eating there. With it being a bright sunny day didn't I do the same thing on the way out of the cafe. I shouldn't have smoked that joint of cheese on the way there.

PARlance

"How'ya?"

Well...her husband just died and you're attending his wake.

griffin100

Getting lunch in a garage one day, queuing up with a sandwich and a can of Coke.........I dropped the can and it exploded spinning across the floor spraying Coke all over my lovely white shirt and the arms and body of the sleeveless builder in front of me. I just wanted to die!!!

cowboyBuilder

Thought of 2 more.

I went on a work trip and met some new colleagues based in that office.

A few months later when they were visiting our office I shook hands with one and said "nice to meet you" - and she just said "eh we met 2 weeks ago in xxxx city "

I once said hello to myself , a mirror was unfortunately placed around a corner in a shop, some people noticed too ... mortified ..

FionnK86

Gig one night in a busy pub in Kildare, sore throat the whole day but convince myself that I'll be fine after practice goes well and I take half of bottle of cough-syrup . I get into the bar, air is dry, busy night, get me glass of water and put it beside me on table.

I go to sing the first song, people turning their heads to see music but my voice just isn't there...I drop it down, try to sound more gritty and it sounds bearable. 2 songs in, gig is going better then it should be. Then, why did I have to put it there. Swing my guitar around...

SMASH!!!

Glass over the floor, water too. The crowd all turn and look. I try to play on whilst the other guy in the band is motified. I look stoned off my head on cough syrup. Manage to quip "Hope you're having a smashing time". Night goes a bit better considering it can't get any worse. End of the night, Bar lady says to let her know next time if I'm sick, I apologize to guitarist and vow to never feck up again. Ate those words.

Fast forward, 2 months later. Playing a gig in same bar. Day after stephen's day, so place is jammers. Open well, gig is going great. Then...B]why did I have to put it there[/B]. Swing my guitar around...

WHOOSH!

Second time in a miraculous effort, I stop the glass from smashing but spill water on floor, we break into 'Folsom Prison Blues' as the same bar lady mops up the water around the guitarist. We never got asked to play again.

sesswhat

It was only when I had the dental nurse's hand in a good firm grip that I realised she was only reaching out to take my coat.

what a day

A few years back at a busy shopping center myself and the mrs at the time parked in a busy car park. The weather was terrible, traffic was crazy so we decided to take a short cut and climb over a waist high fence to the shoppng center.

I hoped over the fence cool as a cucumber.......the mrs not so good, first she wobbled a bit then fell flat on her face in the muck. The only thing she could grab onto to save herself was my loose tracksuit bottoms which she pulled down to my ankles. Every one in the traffic taught that was funny and so did the people in the packed restaurant beside us.