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Rude/Insensitive Things People Have Said and Done to You

UpCork

I have a family member undergoing chemotherapy for cancer and as a result I frequent a breast cancer message board to read up on what others are saying about treatment etc.

Anyway, a very popular thread on that forum is rude/insensitive things people said and did when they were told of their friend/family members illness. I could not believe what some people had said to them.

We, as a family have had a bit of experience of that too, since my relative's diagnosis.

That got me thinking - not in relation just to illness, but what is the rudest, most insensitive thing anyone has ever said to you?

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scdublin

When I was about 14/15 (a tricky enough time for any teenage girl) a guy who I'd never met before as he was a friend of a friend came up to me and said "you're fat, you're ugly and you sound like a man". I didn't know what to do besides just walk away and go home but that stuck with me for an awful long time. I was actually smaller than the average teenager at the time (got slagged for being too skinny funnily enough) so looking back he was probably just trying to be an arsehole for comedic effect. Nasty little pr!ck.

allandanyways

My most recent ex told me I didn't and never would understand depression, and that being dramatic is not the same as being depressed.

I'd just finished 15 weeks of counselling in Pieta House after a particularly bad patch earlier this year.

I know from experience that it was a combination of the depression and him being a díckhead, but still, to say that to someone who is *just* coming back to themselves after being in the pit for the last 18 months is just horrible.

team_actimel

My ex had a few lovely liners for me; "Your belly is a bit fat" "Why are all Irish girls so fat (very loudly in front of my friends) and the oh so subtle "Your sister's arms are skinnier than yours"

This Fat Girl Runs

I was shopping for clothes one day and asked a salesperson if I could try something on in the dressing room. She pointed out the way and as I left I heard her say to another salesperson 'she won't fit in the dressing room never mind the top'.

I also once overheard a man tell his wife/girlfriend 'I'd kill myself if you ever got that fat' while looking pointedly in my direction.

I get called 'fat bitch' a lot by random men on the street.

And so on and so forth...

Aye Bosun

Stop limping - you're only looking for sympathy.

I've spinal cord damage..the fact I'm even walking is a miracle, I would love nothing more than to be able to walk without a limp, but hey thanks for reminding me about it!

melted_face

when i was born a neighbour remarked to my mother that i had 'a very mountainy head' . not too sure what it means but can't see anyway it's not insulting

ScumLord

Over in England the Irish accent is usually an instant way of getting along with people but there are still some old fashioned pricks over there.

"Are you Irish?"
"I am"
"I could tell by the slur in your voice.."

frash

This Fat Girl Runs wrote: »

I was shopping for clothes one day and asked a salesperson if I could try something on in the dressing room. She pointed out the way and as I left I heard her say to another salesperson 'she won't fit in the dressing room never mind the top'.

I also once overheard a man tell his wife/girlfriend 'I'd kill myself if you ever got that fat' while looking pointedly in my direction.

I get called 'fat bitch' a lot by random men on the street.

And so on and so forth...

Have they ran a marathon though?
You can bet not.
You have!

UpCork

This Fat Girl Runs wrote: »

I was shopping for clothes one day and asked a salesperson if I could try something on in the dressing room. She pointed out the way and as I left I heard her say to another salesperson 'she won't fit in the dressing room never mind the top'.

I also once overheard a man tell his wife/girlfriend 'I'd kill myself if you ever got that fat' while looking pointedly in my direction.

I get called 'fat bitch' a lot by random men on the street.

And so on and so forth...

This really makes me sad

[Deleted User]

UpCork wrote: »

This really makes me sad

There is something very depressing in that post. Not about the poster at all, but that people could have that mindset. What sets it apart is that other posts referred to horrible comments by individuals, she refers to common abuse by men on the streets.

RayM

A month or two after my mum died, a close relative said to me: "So... you're... okay now... about your mother and everything..?"

In other words, "okay" with the fact that she's gone forever. "Over" the whole tedious grieving thing. I think he was hoping I'd say "yeah, I'm fine now".

Almost four years on, I still wouldn't be able to give him the answer he was hoping for.

ruaille buaille

Sitting on a train in London with my friend. She was drinking a coke, I had a 7up. English guy across the way says "are ye from Ireland?" Obviously hearing our accent :rolleyes: "Yeah ye probably have a drop of whiskey in there do ye? haha" (pointing to our drinks).
Not sure why he said that we are two v quiet girls.

UpCork

RayM wrote: »

A month or two after my mum died, a close relative said to me: "So... you're... okay now... about your mother and everything..?"

In other words, "okay" with the fact that she's gone forever. "Over" the whole tedious grieving thing. I think he was hoping I'd say "yeah, I'm fine now".

Almost four years on, I still wouldn't be able to give him the answer he was hoping for.

I had an experience similar to this when my Granny died.

She died in November and it was all a whirlwind and then we had Christmas. March of the following year I was really feeling it. It had hit me with a bang as her house was being sold, so all my childhood memories etc I felt were going with it. Anyway, one day the stress got on top of me and I remember crying on the phone to my friend and he said 'he she died in November, stop wallowing'. I just hung up and never discussed her with him again.

JustShon

RayM wrote: »

Almost four years on, I still wouldn't be able to give him the answer he was hoping for.

It just doesn't work that way. It's sad that to some people your grief is just a pain in the ass. You have my sympathies man.

UpCork

Deleted User wrote: »

There is something very depressing in that post. Not about the poster at all, but that people could have that mindset. What sets it apart is that other posts referred to horrible comments by individuals, she refers to common abuse by men on the streets.

True.

The older I've become, the more I've realised that the majority of the population don't seem to engage their brains before their mouths. I'm not saying we should all be pussy-footing around afraid of offending people, but I do think we should think before we speak, put ourselves in someone else's shows and wonder what it is like for them.

Two of the people I work with are examples of the above. They never engage their brains before their mouths and as a result say some really offensive and hurtful things. I know they probably don't mean 80% of what they say, but it's always in an attempt to be 'funny'

fineso.mom

A few short months after my son's birth I was at my nephew's christening. My sister-in-law's mother came over to congratulate me on the birth of my son. She then looked me up and down and said " you didn't lose any of the pregnancy weight yet". I was speechless. I hadn't even put on that much , was only about a size 12 but even if I had....what a thing to say!

PucaMama

This Fat Girl Runs wrote: »

I was shopping for clothes one day and asked a salesperson if I could try something on in the dressing room. She pointed out the way and as I left I heard her say to another salesperson 'she won't fit in the dressing room never mind the top'.

I also once overheard a man tell his wife/girlfriend 'I'd kill myself if you ever got that fat' while looking pointedly in my direction.

I get called 'fat bitch' a lot by random men on the street.

And so on and so forth...

People are idiots.

I was in dunnes in the bread isle. This woman a few steps away from me puts something in her basket. What I assume is her partner looks at me and laughs and says (I'm that typical thick Dublin accent) you don't want to turn out like that one do you.

I don't know why people feel the need to be so cruel. I've had so so many people say things. It takes a lot of self control not to react.

Edit: the majority of people by far doing the shouting from cars or the remarking from the safety of their little group of friends are men.

emeldc

This Fat Girl Runs wrote: »

I was shopping for clothes one day and asked a salesperson if I could try something on in the dressing room. She pointed out the way and as I left I heard her say to another salesperson 'she won't fit in the dressing room never mind the top'.

Should something like that happen again, just say;

'I can always go on a diet, you'll always be an ugly cnut'.

Duck Soup

Like a number of people on this thread, I find it amazing what people say to you about people close to you dying. I know it's an old saw that it's meant to be difficult to talk to bereaved people, but we're not talking accidental insinuations - some people are just flat out rude and/or hurtful. Like my aunt (by marriage) who told my dad that when her dog died she knew exactly how it must have felt for him when my dad's brother died.

Yes, because your dog and your brother are almost exactly the same thing, except one can't lick his balls.

This Fat Girl Runs

Re the comments I get from people (usually men but girls too)...I get it a lot and I've never understood why people feel they can just come out with stuff like that. There I am, minding my own business and someone yells 'fat bitch' in my face...why? What purpose does it serve?! Then there was the time I was walking and laughing with friends and a guy behind me said 'shut up fatty'. Why? Or the year I spent walking to work being greeting by a group of school kids 'hi fat girl' 'how's it going fat girl'...every morning the same thing. Why?

It baffles me. Really it does.

I mostly have gotten by with ignoring these comments, and more often than not I'll have my headphones in and music on so I don't have to hear it anymore.

It makes me sad too, that people feel it's ok to treat another human being this way.

dinjo99

Wasn't meant to be insensitive and didn't bother me, I actually found it very funny.

I was in Woodies last week. Buying something that was a tenner. Teenage girl at the counter scans it and says €9. I thought it was a tenner says I.
We have a 10% reduction for pensioners says she.
Great, thanks says I.

I am 51 years old!!!

JustShon

This Fat Girl Runs wrote: »

What purpose does it serve?!

To inflate the crippled self-confidence of these petty, pathetic little waste of human skin.

valoren

dinjo99 wrote: »

Wasn't meant to be insensitive and didn't bother me, I actually found it very funny.

I was in Woodies last week. Buying something that was a tenner. Teenage girl at the counter scans it and says €9. I thought it was a tenner says I.
We have a 10% reduction for pensioners says she.
Great, thanks says I.

I am 51 years old!!!

One of the little kids in the estate ran up to me and my OH during the summer.
He had a little toy raygun. "Pew! Pew!"

My OH playfully says "Don't shoot!"

Little kid says "I'll shoot you! And your Dad too!"

I wasn't right for days

:pac:

Whitewinged

A friend of my mam's who just can't seem to throw anything out. She keeps offering my mam old stuff from her house. She's offered her a cd player with the cd player part broken wtf as if we don't have our own stuff and my mam sometimes feels bad saying no.

She once (about 3 or 4 years ago) gave my mam a Shell tracksuit to give to me. As if I'm going to wear her old 80s style shell tracksuit.

arayess

wasn't said about me but I was really taken aback by the cruel nature of it

a young lad on the road died suddenly about aged 17 which was a shock as he was previously healthy and was playing about on the street only a few days before.
He had a few other brothers and sisters including an older brother who was disabled.

anyway all the neighbours were queuing up to pay their respects , i was dragged in by my mother .
anyway we are in the queue with some old woman about 80 years old (also a neighbour) and she said to us "terrible news this , it would have been less of a blow if it was the older fella"

I was seriously fcuked off but kept quiet as a row was probably the last thing the family needed at the time. my mother said she meant no offense.
like fcuk she didn't.

[Deleted User]

Sympathise with the other posters here who went through the same, my boyfriend told me I wasn't coping with my father's death, because I still spoke about him ten months later. Not even spoke about his death, but spoke about him at all. Apparently you just forget them after the funeral. A friend phoning me while we were all sitting in the hospital for two days waiting for him to die, told e "You've no idea how many father figures I've lost in my life!", and another friend who threw a strop when I said I couldn't hang out because I had to go see my mother, "What about ME? I need you more! At least you HAD a father!"

[Deleted User]

This Fat Girl Runs wrote: »

I was shopping for clothes one day and asked a salesperson if I could try something on in the dressing room. She pointed out the way and as I left I heard her say to another salesperson 'she won't fit in the dressing room never mind the top'.

I also once overheard a man tell his wife/girlfriend 'I'd kill myself if you ever got that fat' while looking pointedly in my direction.

I get called 'fat bitch' a lot by random men on the street.

And so on and so forth...

Would you ever think of having a standard response, something so blunt that it catches them, like a "f*** off you c***".

Or do you not any to stoop to their level?

Or is it about not drawing them on?

I find it disgusting to think this is a common occurence, and fel sp sorry for you that you almost have to just put up with it.

mfceiling

If i've taken one thing from this thread it's that a lot of people are cnuts.

skepticalone

lying in a hospital bed exhausted after a gruelling 20 hour labour to deliver my overdue son , I had been told that due to the effects of epidural I should call for assistance if i needed to use the bathroom an hour post delivery and when I did the nurse looked at me and commented that id need to go on a diet immediately to get my weight down as I struggled to get out of bed still in pain from a traumatic birth with a wrecked back ...fupping bitch :mad: I half thought to register a complaint about her insensitive comments to a woman whod just been through a traumatic time but was so glad to be discharged and get out of there i didnt bother .

Mesrine65

This Fat Girl Runs wrote: »

It makes me sad too, that people feel it's ok to treat another human being this way.

No one should have to put up with the indignities you've had to put up with, it's a disgrace, some people are just insensitive pricks.

Hold your head high & fuck them all, you're the better person for it