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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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The Sun King

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Arse holes who act as if they know more than a highly paid soccer manager, using the current buzz word.

Especially Liverpool supporters in the pub.

"He should never have let Gerrard go, put him in the hole behind the front men and play two men as holding midfielders"

Complete ****.

This goes for the type that post on the FB page for news websites.

Experts in journalism, grammar, national security, defence and geopolitical matters and far outclass any person with a) all the information and b) years of training and experience.

johndaman66

Azalea wrote: »

I would never expect a man to offer me his seat - unless I'm heavily pregnant, unwell, elderly, disabled, why should he?

I'm really wondering about this one. I've used public transport quite a bit in my younger days and still do from time to time. I don't believe I've ever seen a man give up his seat for a woman bar a case or two where an elderly lady got on. The same common sense approach should be applied to a heavily pregnant woman or someone who is disabled.

To call anyone a wanker because they don't comply with this practice in this day and age is just wrong.

As I see it you are expected to be so bloody PC these times and with equality also at the fore it surely works both ways - why should a man be expected to give up his seat for a woman who is on the face of it perfectly capable of standing

Cunny-Funt

This is the first I've heard of this.

I'll give up my seat for old people , pregnant women and so on.

But if some young 20 something girl gets on the bus. And I 'go out of my way' to give her my seat 'just because' she's female.

That would seem really ****in creepy to me.

There actually a lot wrong with this tbh and I could go on a huge rant.

I can only assume people who think this way were brought up with some very conservative old fashioned views.

Often ideas like this are sold by the people who do them as them being "polite, noble, honorable" etc But dig deeper into the thinking that spawns this behavior and you'll uncover a lot of unsavory views that have no place in a modern society.

quarefarmers

The gluten police

Cunny-Funt

humberklog wrote: »

People that wear a bunch of keys on a metal dog lead attached to the belt loop on their trousers.

Jaysus you must hate that guy from E.T then! :pac:

eurokev

people who leave their headlights on when they are parked up

Charlie19

eurokev wrote: »

people who leave their headlights on when they are parked up

Sitting in their driveway lights beaming through their neighbors window.

The Sun King

Sinead O Connor and her latest foray into the limelight.

The comments posted under her...suicide note(?)... Are insufferable dribble.

Let her alone, keep her away from the public eye, and let her get sorted. Anything else is a publicity stunt.

Brendan Bendar

The Sun King wrote: »

This goes for the type that post on the FB page for news websites.

Experts in journalism, grammar, national security, defence and geopolitical matters and far outclass any person with a) all the information and b) years of training and experience.

:eek:

Dont know anything about that lot Sun but I'll happily take your word for it.

northgirl

Drivers that start to indicate "on" the corner...:mad:

cantdecide

northgirl wrote: »

Drivers that start to indicate "on" the corner...:mad:

+1m

Do they think it's some kind of release for the steering wheel or something

cantdecide

When you're turning left on a roundabout and someone heaves up next to you on the right going around but cuts off your line of vision to traffic your right. #bloodytosser

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

Rym Shanley

Suckler wrote: »

Comedy snobs. Pretentious clowns trying to justify self held belief they're on a higher intellectual level. Penny to a pound they're also comedy historians "yeah he's funny but that's because he copied jokes from.....". You'll never find a wanker to drain the fun out of comedy like them.

yeah all those precocious Stewart Lee fans with their chinstroking hipster ways.

johndaman66

Ah roundabouts and their misuse. Between them and people not dipping their headlights whether coming against you or up behind you they are both my biggest pet hates on the road.

cantdecide wrote: »

When you're turning left on a roundabout and someone heaves up next to you on the right going around but cuts off your line of vision to traffic your right. #bloodytosser

Also if you are on the right lane of a roundabout and there is somebody next to you on the left hand lane. Your bearing right and their going straight on moreless. Both go at the same time. So often they cut right into your lane midway through the roundabout - almost to take a straight line through the roundabout.
Based on my experience women are the bigget culpurits....Awaiting the backlash from the PC brigade for that comment.

Patww79 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Based on what I observe on the roads you'd most likely be flogging at least half the drivers in the country so. Around here at least half don't use indicators at roundabouts and worse still I have seen a couple of cases where indicators are used incorrectly. i.e. two elderly guys in particular indicating as if they are coming off the roundabout only to proceed on around...fuking lethal. now I know an indicator on is just that, i.e. an indication and you should not make a decision based on somebodys indicator but still this practice is inexcusable.

I do recall a thread on the motors forum on peoples misuse of roundabouts and the general consensus was that Galway was the worst part of the country on this issue.

Kev W

Rym Shanley wrote: »

yeah all those precocious Stewart Lee fans with their chinstroking hipster ways.

You think Stewart Lee fans are generally early developers?

It's an odd compliment but thank you.

DrPhilG

screamer wrote: »

And finally people who give their kids popular names and spell them in a really stupid way to make them seen more exotic than they are.

And are then deeply irritated when other people fail to pronounce or spell little Caoiaiomhie's name correctly.

Thats an exaggeration of course, but I do work with a girl who called her kid Caoimhe but proudly announced that she added a vowel to "make it unique".

No missus, that doesn't make it unique. That makes it spelled wrong.

The King of Moo

pablo128 wrote: »

I don't think a paper jug of Topaz coffee counts as 'richer tasting'.

Of course it does if it's compared to Nescafé instant coffee, let alone all the other coffees people drink more commonly than that sold at Topaz stations.

Brendan Flowers

People who use Shower Gel to wash their hair.

Colser

Brendan Flowers wrote: »

People who use Shower Gel to wash their hair.

How do you identify these W*nkers?

5rtytry56

Brendan Flowers wrote: »

People who use Shower Gel to wash their hair.

Your o/h ?

Ash.J.Williams

The Sun King wrote: »

Sinead O Connor and her latest foray into the limelight.

The comments posted under her...suicide note(?)... Are insufferable dribble.

Let her alone, keep her away from the public eye, and let her get sorted. Anything else is a publicity stunt.

jeaysus....i "liked" her facebook page after the mcgreggor fight.....f**in hell unbelieveable...besides the "help" she needs i dunno how she hasn't been arrested

Badly Drunk Boy

northgirl wrote: »

Drivers that start to indicate "on" the corner...:mad:

I've often played chicken with these sort of drivers, as a pedestrian. I'm halfway across the road, can see that the car isn't indicating but I have a feeling that they will turn. The indicator eventually comes on but I don't hurry up as they try to turn. Then they look annoyed.

Amazingly, I'm still alive!

JanaMay

Azalea wrote: »

I would never expect a man to offer me his seat - unless I'm heavily pregnant, unwell, elderly, disabled, why should he?

I was actually in labour when I was on a bus and of course people saw a heavily pregnant woman and insisted I sit down. But I couldn't sit it was too painful so I had to pretend I was sitting and 'hover' over the seat so that they wouldn't think I was ungrateful.

(Obviously, this is off-topic - they were not tossers at all :pac:)

The Sun King

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

jeaysus....i "liked" her facebook page after the mcgreggor fight.....f**in hell unbelieveable...besides the "help" she needs i dunno how she hasn't been arrested

She's still at it.

from_atozinc

The Sun King wrote: »

She's still at it.

How do you mean ?

The Sun King

from_atozinc wrote: »

How do you mean ?

She's posted about ten comments on her FB page in the same vein. Very disturbing stuff.

from_atozinc

The Sun King wrote: »

She's posted about ten comments on her FB page in the same vein. Very disturbing stuff.

She is seriously fooked up in the head.

Fleawuss

The greatest sign of all, irrefutable proof of the wanker: pushing belief in the ouija board.

Joseph291987

People who post the most mundane ****e about their lives on Facebook,example 'Just had a cup of tea I love tea #BESTTEAEVERLYONSFORLIFE !!!

****!!!!!