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Child Item

Smoking in the House

chops018

So my parents smoke in the house. Like troopers.

Look, that's fine, it's their decision to smoke and it's their house etc.

But, I am living here and it's quite small, so it's hard to get away from.

I absolutely detest smoking and always have but the last while it just gets more and more on my nerves. They don't give a toss about what I think and when I try to address it calmly with them they just turn around and be all aggressive and tell me to move out. Now, don't get me wrong, they are correct in that If I don't like it I can move out but I am currently in training and won't be on a good salary for a while yet so that's not an option.

Is there any good way to persuade them to have an area for them in the house? Even that would be hard because as I said the house is small and it gets everywhere. My clothes do stink from it too, it's vile. Like sometimes I would nearly have to wash my clothes straight away again from the smoke getting on them. I do keep the clothes grand most of the time by keeping well out of their way and usually changing right before I've to head out but it's not easy. Not to mention being very unhealthy and having a horrible smelling house in general.

Any tips to resolve this?

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chops018

OP here.

Excuse me to the people calling me rude and entitled.

Well, I never knew one could be entitled about things like their health and their parents, and then things about smell, and smoke in general being disgusting.

It's not like I'm asking them to stop a habit like picking their nose.

Smoking affects the people around you and in my opinion it should be illegal to smoke in any enclosed space or indoors at all. Actually I think smoking should be illegal full stop as it's not like some drugs that people may choose to put in their bodies and they won't affect the person around them, immediately anyway, but smoking does in many ways as mentioned above.

They are being entitled by saying "tough, get out if you don't like it". They won't have an adult conversation with someone else living in the house with them about something I'm concerned over.

If I was a woman and started the OP by saying I'm pregnant and living at home then there would be uproar over my parents smoking. This is no different. Typical Irish approach to say I am being entitled etc.

Maybe I should start flooding the place with candles, or take up an activity of my own that annoys them.

PARlance

chops018 wrote: »

Maybe I should start flooding the place with candles, or take up an activity of my own that annoys them.

Given that you're 30 years old, give or take a couple of years, I think you probably have a few activities that already annoy them, the primary one being the living at home activity.

LordSutch

chops018 wrote: »

Smoking in the house.

No to smoking in the house.
No to smoking in the car.
No to smoking in cinemas.
No to smoking on busses.
No to smoking in restaurants.
No smoking on trains.

Indeed, No to smoking everywhere, just don't smoke. I've seen and heard of far too many cancer related deaths due to smoking, so just don't smoke (for your own sake) and others.

SMJSF

If someone told me I couldn't smoke where I wanted in MY house, they'd be shown the door.
Move out if it bothers you.

Yes, I'm a smoker myself.

chops018

PARlance wrote: »

Given that you're 30 years old, give or take a couple of years, I think you probably have a few activities that already annoy them, the primary one being the living at home activity.

As has been already mentioned in this thread I am unable to move out presently otherwise I would have.

Clothes, not to mention health, being put at risk with all the smoke, they should have some consideration for same. As one poster pointed out if there was visitors they wouldn't smoke if they knew they didn't like it.

KERSPLAT!

People are free to do as they like in their own house, I wouldn't allow smoking in my own though and would expect others to respect that

Liamario

Hold the ball there, people. This isn't some stranger living in their house. These are his parents. Whether he is 18 or not, they are always his parents and a good parent will always feel responsible for their child- even passed their legal requirements. I have no doubt that his parents have been smoking since day nought and could give two ****s about their childs health (correct me if I'm wrong OP).
While it is there house and thus their rules, they have a moral obligation to their child to at least make some ****ing effort.

Monkeysgomad

Yes it's their house, but you're living there too. Never mind the smell of smoke, but I can imagine their health over it. However second hand smoke is just as bad. Remind them about your health also. I'm a non smoker, never have tried them and despise them. If someone near me started smoking I would move - they are vile.

Monkeysgomad

chops018 wrote: »

OP here.

Excuse me to the people calling me rude and entitled.

Well, I never knew one could be entitled about things like their health and their parents, and then things about smell, and smoke in general being disgusting.

It's not like I'm asking them to stop a habit like picking their nose.

Smoking affects the people around you and in my opinion it should be illegal to smoke in any enclosed space or indoors at all. Actually I think smoking should be illegal full stop as it's not like some drugs that people may choose to put in their bodies and they won't affect the person around them, immediately anyway, but smoking does in many ways as mentioned above.

They are being entitled by saying "tough, get out if you don't like it". They won't have an adult conversation with someone else living in the house with them about something I'm concerned over.

If I was a woman and started the OP by saying I'm pregnant and living at home then there would be uproar over my parents smoking. This is no different. Typical Irish approach to say I am being entitled etc.

Maybe I should start flooding the place with candles, or take up an activity of my own that annoys them.

Totally agree with this.

Pink Lemons

I used to smoke in my house then I quit for a few months and realised how much nicer the place is without the smell of it and ashtrays around the place. Back on them again now unfortunately but don't smoke inside anymore, always has to be out the back. Makes me smoke less as well as I don't want to be freezing me balls off out their in this weather.

freshpopcorn

You've another thread about buying/trading in your car for your conmute.
Why don't you sell the car and get a cheap house share closer to work. Most people I know who move out of home for college/work at first generally have very little money and barely can get by but they do.

chops018

SMJSF wrote: »

Yes, I'm a smoker myself.

Sorry to hear that, I hope you can manage to quit soon.

freshpopcorn wrote: »

You've another thread about buying/trading in your car for your conmute.
Why don't you sell the car and get a cheap house share closer to work. Most people I know who move out of home for college/work at first generally have very little money and barely can get by but they do.

Believe me if I did sell the car it wouldn't add much towards moving out. Anyway I don't use the car for the commute. Public transport is cheaper and quicker.

Son Of A Vidic

Strider wrote: »

Obviously trying to smoke you out, time to pack your bags OP.

And they're doing it figuratively & literally. The OP just can't take the hint.:pac:

anothernight

chops018 wrote: »

OP here.

Excuse me to the people calling me rude and entitled.

Well, I never knew one could be entitled about things like their health and their parents, and then things about smell, and smoke in general being disgusting.

It's not like I'm asking them to stop a habit like picking their nose.

Smoking affects the people around you and in my opinion it should be illegal to smoke in any enclosed space or indoors at all. Actually I think smoking should be illegal full stop as it's not like some drugs that people may choose to put in their bodies and they won't affect the person around them, immediately anyway, but smoking does in many ways as mentioned above.

They are being entitled by saying "tough, get out if you don't like it". They won't have an adult conversation with someone else living in the house with them about something I'm concerned over.

If I was a woman and started the OP by saying I'm pregnant and living at home then there would be uproar over my parents smoking. This is no different. Typical Irish approach to say I am being entitled etc.

Maybe I should start flooding the place with candles, or take up an activity of my own that annoys them.

If someone told me I couldn't smoke in my own house, they'd be shown the door. And I'm not even a smoker.

With that attitude, they're probably trying to pressure you into moving out.

donegaLroad

last year a lady I knew died of throat cancer, she never smoked, but her husband smoked in the house for 30+ years.

Second hand smoke is supposed to be more deadly, plus some people are more susceptible to contracting smoking related disease than others.

lertsnim

What is preventing you from moving out? If your health is really that important to you then surely you would already be gone.

booooring!

What age are you? If under 18 I'd understand your angry but if over 18 move out simples

looksee

chops018 wrote: »

OP here.

Excuse me to the people calling me rude and entitled.

Well, I never knew one could be entitled about things like their health and their parents, and then things about smell, and smoke in general being disgusting.

It's not like I'm asking them to stop a habit like picking their nose.

Smoking affects the people around you and in my opinion it should be illegal to smoke in any enclosed space or indoors at all. Actually I think smoking should be illegal full stop as it's not like some drugs that people may choose to put in their bodies and they won't affect the person around them, immediately anyway, but smoking does in many ways as mentioned above.

They are being entitled by saying "tough, get out if you don't like it". They won't have an adult conversation with someone else living in the house with them about something I'm concerned over.

If I was a woman and started the OP by saying I'm pregnant and living at home then there would be uproar over my parents smoking. This is no different. Typical Irish approach to say I am being entitled etc.

Maybe I should start flooding the place with candles, or take up an activity of my own that annoys them.

How much more entitled can you be than to 1. expect to live with your parents now you are an adult and 2. expect them to adjust their lifestyle to accommodate your preferences.

I totally agree with all you say about smoking, I have a husband with end-stage COPD and he smoked all his life with no great concern for anyone else.

You have got to this stage, presumably living with them as smokers through your childhood. You were under no illusions when you moved back(?) or chose not to move out when you could afford it. You have told them (calmly and politely!) that their house stinks and you are embarrassed to bring friends in. Well don't bring friends in. Do you ask if they mind their house being invaded by your friends?

You chose to stay on because you want to improve your employment prospects. You are not complaining about smoking because you are afraid for their health, but because you do not like it. You don't like it, move out. Go back to your better paid job and save till you can afford to improve your education at your own expense rather than theirs. Even if you are concerned for their health, they are adults, they can do as they choose. So can you, you can choose to move out.

helimachoptor

In 10 years my MIL has come to our house 3-5 times as i wont let her smoke in doors, what annoys me is when shes going to her friends houses she has no issue smoking outside, win win for me tbh

Hitchens

those vaping things are vile as well, they always even look filthy

colossus-x

chops018 wrote: »

Trainee Solicitor. And yes, no salary at all until next April, and even then it will be minimum wage so as I said I am stuck here for a while.

This idea that you living at home is somehow not your fault. Like you have no choice. As if you don't have to be THAT grateful to your parents for putting you up! Are they feeding you as well? Did they pay for you to go though college? You could take a paying job and SAVE UP to support yourself in your own smoke free house share or studio flat while you do your unpaid solicitor training. You are avoiding all of that by living at home but that's not quite good enough for you because of...the smoke.

You keep saying they are not listening to you. Your point is smoking is bad for your health, it stinks etc? That's NOT your point of view. Those are facts that I'm sure your parents are fully aware off. They have listened to you and they have said NO. That's not not listening to you. That's refusing you.

They are under absolutely NO OBLIGATION to bend to your demands just because it's a FACT that smoking is bad for one's health.

It sounds to me they already done far too much for you already in their lives and you sound like an irritating ungrateful brat to me.

Liamario wrote: »

Hold the ball there, ....l.. they have a moral obligation to their child to at least make some ****ing effort.

Lol They have absolutly no ****ing obligation to give up smoking lol Nobody owes their offspring that much.

Calibos

Vaping is the answer for such inveterate smokers.

You can make all the arguments about no more secondary smoking, the lack of smell, no more yellow walls, ceilings and curtains. No more coughing your lungs up, more energy, risk factors for smoking related diseases dropping back off near to those of a non smoker after a few short years blah blah blah.

The most persuasive argument to my mind for an inveterate smoker? Financial.

If the each 'only' smoke 20 a day, they will save €140 a week, €610 a month or €7300 a year. If they both smoke 30 a day you're at €210 €912 & €10950

They don't 'Do' anything else? They likely cant afford to 'Do' anything else. With that kind of money saved they could be going on cruises every year or buy a brand new Merc or take up all the hobbies they always wanted but never had the money for etc etc

They need to imagine two things.

1. Going to the bank at the beginning of every January and withdrawing €11,000 in €5 notes and emptying them into a pile in the back garden and setting them on fire. Every Year! Can you imagine it !!??!!.

2. Now also get them to imagine buying all those cigs in one go and emptying them out of the packets into a big pile on the ground. 2x 30 a day smokers, smoke 22,000 cigarettes a year between them. Imagine lighting that huge pile of 22,000 cigs and standing over it and inhaling all the smoke from that pile as deep into your lungs as you can.

Now as a near 20 year smoker who was up to 40 a day himself and who had tried everything under the sun to quit, not even the above was persuasive. Not when the alternative was crappy NRT patches or inhalers, or the psychological or physiological 'pain' of quitting cold turkey.

But now with Vaping on the scene? Hallelujah!! A method of continuing to get my nicotine to feed my chronic nicotine addiction (Fcuk off Caffeine addicts) via a device that is the closest ever NRT to the sensation of real smoking, that one will have become accustomed to completely in little over a week such that real cigs now make you gag. That saves you a metric fcuktonne of money, that as far as your body is concerned has made you effectively a non smoker with all the health benefits thereof, that maintains the hand and mouth habitual occupation which means no desire to snack or graze on treats and thus none of the weight gain smokers who quit despair over.

My throat got used to vaping after a single day. ie. by the end of the first day the vaping wasn't tickling my throat anymore or causing me to cough. For the first 2 weeks I was finding I still had a strong urge to smoke a real cigarette at the keystone times of the day. First thing upon waking, while having my morning cup of tea, after meals, last thing at night. I vaped the rest of the day in between. Was disappointed at first but then recognised that even if this was 'it', I was reliably only smoking 5 cigs a day instead of 40. The bulk of the savings and health benefits were already kicking in. After week 2 I got some new e-cig juice and bought 24mg instead of 16mg. Boom!! Found I wasn't even craving the 5 real cigs any more. I'd gotten to dinner time without automatically reaching for the packet of real fags and had just automatically reached for the e-cig at all the keystone moments earlier in the day. Upon reflection I realised that another reason was the mental switch that had flicked in my head. For 20 years, 20-40 times a day, my brain had been primed to picture a real cig in my minds eye whenever it felt the nicotine craving. That kind of neural programming doesn't disappear over night. Even though I was now vaping, when the nicotine receptors in my brain started crying out for more nicotine, my brain resorted to legacy programming and pictured a real cig in my minds eye. I felt like I was still craving the real thing. However after about 2 weeks my brains 20 year old programming was reprogrammed and instead of picturing a real cig, started picturing my e-cig. I'd automatically start patting my pocket not for my cigs and lighter but for my e-cig. Thus after about 2 weeks, for a couple of reasons, I literally overnight no longer needed even those 5x real cigs a day. After a couple of months I had a stressful event and dug a packet of smokes out of the back of a drawer. Couldn't even finish one single cig. It was rank and made me ill for the rest of the day.

Another major stressful event a year later caused me to break through that barrier and I ended up smoking for a month. The beauty of Vaping?? After that month I was able to get back on the wagon and switch back to vaping in the space of a single day when I put my mind to it. There was no 2 or 3 week brain reprogramming or keystone cigs this time. Went from smoking 30 one day and back to vaping 100% the next day with no transition period at all nor any cravings etc Haven't smoked a single cig in 2.5 years since then. 3.5 years in total now. 51,000 cigs I haven't smoked and €25,000 not given to the Taxman and Cig companies. When you fell off the wagon with smokes and you gave in and bought that packet. Chances were, that was it. You were back on them for the next few years until you managed to summon the willpower to quit again. The memory of how painful it was to quit puts you off trying again for a long time. However with vaping, the transition is so easy and gets even easier thereafter, that giving in and sneaking a real cig isn't 'game over' for a few more years like it used to be. Its merely a blip and nothing to overly beat yourself up about and its piss easy to get back on the wagon.

If your parents say, "But Betty down the road says she heard these e-cig things are as bad as cigarettes". Well number 1. They aren't. But even if they were, which does she think she prefers. Lung problems for both her and hubby and €10,000 a year poorer or Lung problems for both here and hubby but €10,000 a year richer?? Fact is, is that its not a question of whether e-cigs are safer or not. Its a question of whether they are safer by a factor of 100 or 1000. All the major chemical components of e-juice (Vegatable Glycerin, Propylene Glycol) have been proven perfectly safe to inhale over the last 70 years. The only question mark is over the food flavourings which are proven safe to ingest but not yet for inhalation. Tests are ongoing but chemists will be surprised if there turns out to be an issue based on the chemistry but are doing the tests anyway to be sure. Lots of scaremongering headlines with nothing to back them up once you read the articles. Basically, "We don't know for sure yet". Well, we do know for sure that cigs have 4000 chemicals and carcinogens. I think I'll take my chances that vaping isn't as safe as a lungful of pure alpine air and is 'only' as safe as a lungful of pure alpine air mixed with a few diesel particles from the Ski-Doo that drove past me 50 metres away on the snow piste. Cause thats the level of 'danger' they are scaremongering about that 'they don't know for sure yet' about.

You've got 2 very powerful lobbies that want to either destroy or take over vaping. The Tobacco and Pharmaceutical lobbies. The pharma industry stand to lose billions from their useless NRT therapies never mind all the drugs they sell for smoking related diseases. They've even started to try and advertise their NRT's to 'help' you quit vaping!! LMFAO Right so. I'll quit the Hand mouth part of the psychological aspect of smoking addiction and go cold turkey on that......or......maybe I'll just start dropping down the nicotine juice levels till I get to zero and then deal with the hand/mouth aspect. Thats why vaping is so good because you can do that. Thats why less than 10% manage to quit long term with NRT...because you can't break up the different aspects of the addiction and deal with them separately. (I'm down to 6mg from 24mg now). Believe me, it pains me to utter the words 'Pharma'. I associate it with the tinfoil hat wearing CT folk or anti science alternative medicine numpties. You know, all the BS about holding back cancer cures etc However in this case, its patently obvious they are trying to poison the well when it comes to vaping.

So two big lobbies lobbying governments all over the world, whispering in the ears of the various health ministers. There is a third whisperer though. The Ministers of Finance. "Slow down vaping adoption for the love of God or we are going to have budget deficit holes open up in our annual budgets they likes of which we've never seen before. In Irelands case, if every smoker quit and moved to vaping tomorrow, a 4 billion euro hole would open back up in the budget. Is it any wonder there is scaremongering going on with absolutely no evidence behind it other than when "we burn a silica wick in an e-cig for hours and hours it produces some formaldehyde".....that no vaper could tolerate smoking because it tastes vomit inducingly rank, or "E-cig explodes in guys face" choosing not to mention however that the gob****e had built his own and used a cheap chinese battery or charger etc etc.

Get them vaping. They'll thank you for it. I have my mother vaping and she and the rest of my family thank me for it. I'm a Newsagent and Tobacconist. I've lost 30% of my turnover in the last 5 years, most of it cigarette sales and I still happily extol the benefits of vaping to any customer who asks.....and they thank me for it.

Jack GrEnglish

Any parent who smokes indoors should have their children removed by social services pronto.

One eyed Jack

chops018 wrote: »

OP here.

Excuse me to the people calling me rude and entitled.

They're merely stating the obvious.

Well, I never knew one could be entitled about things like their health and their parents, and then things about smell, and smoke in general being disgusting.

Of course they can, as the content of your posts clearly demonstrates. In this case however, where it matters, you make no mention of your contribution to the home, yet you feel you should be entitled to tell your parents how they, who have contributed to their home, should behave in their own home. I can see how your attitude would get your parents backs up tbh, and as someone who recently gave up smoking, it wasn't my wife's constantly stating the obvious that encouraged me to give up, nor was it my son's preachy attitude, it was the fact that I came to the realisation myself, off my own back, that I didn't want to be inflicting my second-hand smoke on other people.

Your parents aren't there yet, and trust me, the more you get in their faces about it, the more they're going to resist any urge to give up, simply to spite you. The only reason I didn't kick my son out for being a pain in the ass is because he's only ten, but I guarantee you if he's still at that craic when he's old enough to get a place of his own, he'll be forced to get a place of his own before I'm about to let him have any say in my home while he isn't contributing anything to the home.

It's not like I'm asking them to stop a habit like picking their nose.

All things considered, I'd sooner spend time in the company of a smoker than a nose picker.

Smoking affects the people around you and in my opinion it should be illegal to smoke in any enclosed space or indoors at all. Actually I think smoking should be illegal full stop as it's not like some drugs that people may choose to put in their bodies and they won't affect the person around them, immediately anyway, but smoking does in many ways as mentioned above.

And when you get your own home, you can implement all your own rules too, just like your parents are doing in their home.

They are being entitled by saying "tough, get out if you don't like it". They won't have an adult conversation with someone else living in the house with them about something I'm concerned over.

They're not letting their son dictate to them in their own home. I'd also question your idea of what you consider an adult conversation, as the indicators evident so far aren't good.

If I was a woman and started the OP by saying I'm pregnant and living at home then there would be uproar over my parents smoking. This is no different. Typical Irish approach to say I am being entitled etc.

This is different, because you're not a pregnant woman. I don't imagine that suggesting you're behaving like you're entitled is an exclusively Irish observation either.

Maybe I should start flooding the place with candles, or take up an activity of my own that annoys them.

Is that your idea of behaving like an adult? You're missing one important detail here in that case - your parents have all the power in their own home. You on the other hand, have none. Your parents are within their rights to kick you out, you on the other hand, have no rights.

cassid

As a parent I would feel as guilty as ****e smoking in front of my children in our home. There are well know medical evidence of second hand smoking on both children exposed during childhood and an young adults exposed, see below from the CDC in America.

I have a child with chronic lung disease from his preterm birth and his respiratory specialists told us to make so many changes to the house to help him, it cost a fortune, and we had to get a credit union loan but you would do anything to help your child and stop them suffering. I just don't get exposing your child to unnessary harm. It is the child's home as well as the adults.

Health Effects in Children
In children, secondhand smoke causes the following:1,2,3

Ear infections
More frequent and severe asthma attacks
Respiratory symptoms (for example, coughing, sneezing, and shortness of breath)
Respiratory infections (bronchitis and pneumonia)
A greater risk for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)
Health Effects in Adults
In adults who have never smoked, secondhand smoke can cause:

Heart disease
For nonsmokers, breathing secondhand smoke has immediate harmful effects on the heart and blood vessels.1,3
It is estimated that secondhand smoke caused nearly 34,000 heart disease deaths each year during 2005–2009 among adult nonsmokers in the United States.1
Lung cancer1,7
Secondhand smoke exposure caused more than 7,300 lung cancer deaths each year during 2005–2009 among adult nonsmokers in the United States.1
Stroke1

Supergurrier

Stacksofwacks wrote: »

To be honest, i enjoy vaping much more than i ever enjoyed cigarettes because there is no smell and you dont get cough/phlegm. I vape menthol which is very refreshing. It may not work for everyone and it may take a while for them to get the hang of, but theres no reason they couldnt make it work if they want it to of course

I vape pretty much exclusively menthol too for this reason. I feel ten times better than when I smoked and no smoke stink.

Trick is a good setup.

Istick 30w and nautilus mini tank here.

Jack GrEnglish

Yes, but you look like a mighty bellend while 'vaping'.

Mesrine65

donegaLroad wrote: »

last year a lady I knew died of throat cancer, she never smoked, but her husband smoked in the house for 30+ years.

My grandfather smoked 20 Woodbines a day for 80+ years & died at 98...of old age :eek:

PARlance

Ah come on people, a quick look will show you that OP had a law degree at least 6 years ago...
They aren't a child, we're talking to a ~30 year old adult here.

And I've never meet a trainee solicitor that gets no pay...is that even legal!

Here's one for you OP, you could try to pretend you give a crap about their health (it's been all about you) and see if you can get them to stop rather than go outside.

Jack GrEnglish

Mesrine65 wrote: »

My grandfather smoked 20 Woodbines a day for 80+ years & died at 98...of old age :eek:

FFS not that old chesnut! You could walk through a a minefield and miss all the mines. What's your point.