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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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recipio

A certain RTE presenter who interrupts every guest with a banal anecdote beginning with 'mind you.....'

Saipanne

booooring! wrote: »

When they think the wire is a good tv programme.

Everyone's a wanker then.

[Deleted User]

Captain Flaps wrote: »

Oh oh oh, I have another one!

People who comment on Journal articles.

What's the difference between that and commenting in After Hours?>

DEFTLEFTHAND

Captain Flaps wrote: »

Oh oh oh, I have another one!

People who comment on Journal articles.

Or Daily Mail articles, when I read a piece on the mail I go straight to the worst rated comments, comedy gold. On every article without fail morons fall for troll posts and react with anger. A classic example is when there is a story about an animal, without fail a troll will state that the animal needs to be put down, cue reams of gullible angry muppets responding to the post.

mynameis905

recipio wrote: »

A certain RTE presenter who interrupts every guest with a banal anecdote beginning with 'mind you.....'

Gay Byrne?

recipio

mynameis905 wrote: »

Gay Byrne?

Nah, Gaybo was much too professional. Sunday mornings.................

bottlebrush

recipio wrote: »

Nah, Gaybo was much too professional. Sunday mornings.................

And Saturday mornings....?

TheNobleKipper

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Or Daily Mail articles, when I read a piece on the mail I go straight to the worst rated comments, comedy gold. On every article without fail morons fall for troll posts and react with anger. A classic example is when there is a story about an animal, without fail a troll will state that the animal needs to be put down, cue reams of gullible angry muppets responding to the post.

That's my guilty pleasure on a boring day. I don't even read the article but jump straight to the best and worst rated comments, mainly because the common trend is always so predictable

recipio

bottlebrush wrote: »

And Saturday mornings....?

Touche.........:D

pauliebdub

Saipanne wrote: »

People who wait till the verrrrrry last second to get up off their seat on the DART, and then get all flustered trying to reach the door before it closes them in.

People who get up off their seat on the bus, long before they arrive at their stop and push past other passengers to get near the door, thinking that they are the only person getting off at that particular stop

lameusername

Frickin atheists.

Mongfinder General

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LsiOAxZYW3E

garrixfan

Turtle necks and lads on a night out dressed in over elaborate clothing ala McGregor, whatever brings them joy though I guess.

Filmer Paradise

A Fainne lapel badge is the true mark of the greater crested Tosser.

TheLastMohican

Has nobody mentioned Joe Duffy? Surely the wanker to end all ****. "You'll have to agree Joe?"

"Sorry, this is The Marianne Finucane Show. Hello Caller? Hello? We seem to have lost him ............ "

Ash.J.Williams

People who brake first then indicate

Heckler

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

People who brake first then indicate

Also people who brake for no reason. i.e. on a road wide enough for 3 cars and a bus or Truck is coming against them the brakes go on as they are passing by wtf ? not even well before but as they are adacent .

Everyday on a particular roundabout to work. I feel like crashing into one of these idiots that I have make way for just to make a point. The inside lane is for the 3rd exit ya idiot.

Idiots asleep at the wheel in city traffic at lights who because of their slowness mean only one or two cars pass through a light change when twice as many could. Equally the 3 drivers who sail through a red light because there is a gap between the change from red to green. Double wanker points if they get caught with no exit and blocking the flow of opposite traffic.

Not so much a wanker thing but these mornings when the sun is low in the East its impossible for drivers to see oncoming traffic, Putting on your headlights for the eastbound would be a great help.

Back to ****, dull, dreary, wet mornings on a busy road with cars and especially trucks throwing spray everywhere.........Put on your ****ing lights !!

skittles8710

People who don't go to any games all year and then are mad plaguing people for an all-Ireland final ticket.

DrPhilG

skittles8710 wrote: »

People who don't go to any games all year and then are mad plaguing people for an all-Ireland final ticket.

Going back to Conor McGregor, it's the same deal.

I've been an MMA fan for over 10 years. Been to many UFC events and went to Vegas for the title fight in July

Approximately 4k Irish travelled, and I'd say half of them were never at an MMA fight in their lives. Strolled into the arena for the 2 title fights waving their Tricolours like proud Irishmen, oblivious to the fact that 3 other Irishmen had fought earlier in the night and would have appreciated their flag waving and support then.

Plenty of fans weren't able to get tickets because these eejits were jumping on the bandwagon as an excuse to go to Vegas on the pis.

snowbabe

Cutting your poxy grass at 9am on a saturday morning

recipio

snowbabe wrote: »

Cutting your poxy grass at 9am on a saturday morning

Yes and anyone using a two stroke hedgecutter/chainsaw early morning -what can they be cutting :eek:

[Deleted User]

DrPhilG wrote: »

Going back to Conor McGregor, it's the same deal.

I've been an MMA fan for over 10 years. Been to many UFC events and went to Vegas for the title fight in July

Approximately 4k Irish travelled, and I'd say half of them were never at an MMA fight in their lives. Strolled into the arena for the 2 title fights waving their Tricolours like proud Irishmen, oblivious to the fact that 3 other Irishmen had fought earlier in the night and would have appreciated their flag waving and support then.

Plenty of fans weren't able to get tickets because these eejits were jumping on the bandwagon as an excuse to go to Vegas on the pis.

Going back to McGregor. People who constantly complain about 'bandwagoners' who only started watching UFC cause of Mcgregor. I have been watching UFC for years, but so what if people only started watching UFC because of McGregor? Everyone starts watching the sport at some point!

tayto lover

snowbabe wrote: »

Cutting your poxy grass at 9am on a saturday morning

One of my neighbours started using a hammer and nails outside this morning at 6.30 ??? Shouldn't be allowed so early on a Sat.
I'm going to sing outside his window some late night on my way home from the pub.

[Deleted User]

DrPhilG wrote: »

Going back to Conor McGregor, it's the same deal.

I've been an MMA fan for over 10 years. Been to many UFC events and went to Vegas for the title fight in July

Approximately 4k Irish travelled, and I'd say half of them were never at an MMA fight in their lives. Strolled into the arena for the 2 title fights waving their Tricolours like proud Irishmen, oblivious to the fact that 3 other Irishmen had fought earlier in the night and would have appreciated their flag waving and support then.

Plenty of fans weren't able to get tickets because these eejits were jumping on the bandwagon as an excuse to go to Vegas on the pis.

Irish fans in general are bandwagon ****. Look at the Euros, called the Best Fans in the World cos we had a p1ss up in Poland during the summer. Look at Shelbourne taking on Deportivo in Landsdowne, 24000 fans showed up. A week later in Tolka they had 1500 or so. As bad as bandwagoners are, the worst breed are the self appointed experts who just came on board. " Aldo will mill McGregor " , coming from a bloke who has probably never seen Jose Aldo fight ever.

bottlebrush

Somebody who will ring the doorbell despite there being a 'do not disturb sign on the door' (I checked - he could read)

Somebody who ignores a 'no junk mail' on the letterbox but leaves the junk mail anyway in your porch, or tucked under a flower pot or mat.

They walk among us....

JonJones

BoJack Horseman wrote: »

Wearing hats..... All the time, indoor & out...

In addition, anyone wearing a trilby or a fedora, with casual attire is a grade-A wanker.

(Probably why we see it so much in wankery ads aching to appeal to milenials)

maybe they just like hats

to thanks whores are big time ****

Cienciano

Omackeral wrote: »

Irish fans in general are bandwagon ****. Look at the Euros, called the Best Fans in the World cos we had a p1ss up in Poland during the summer. Look at Shelbourne taking on Deportivo in Landsdowne, 24000 fans showed up. A week later in Tolka they had 1500 or so. As bad as bandwagoners are, the worst breed are the self appointed experts who just came on board. " Aldo will mill McGregor " , coming from a bloke who has probably never seen Jose Aldo fight ever.

Applies to pretty much every team in the world. Check out attendances for any LOI cup final to a midseason game.

Gwynplaine

People who equate the value of things with pints.
"I got this top for 40euro"
"Sure ye'd get 8 pints for that"

Go away.

JonJones

Judgemental people who cannot let others be when they are not doing them any harm.

garrixfan

Gwynplaine wrote: »

People who equate the value of things with pints.
"I got this top for 40euro"
"Sure ye'd get 8 pints for that"

Go away.

Do you mean in terms of justifying the purchase? I don't tend to drink unless I'm going to get smashed and hit the clubs but I always justify buying clothes, games etc. by saying I could be the type of person whose at the pub necking back pints every weekend.