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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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deaddonkey15

gormdubhgorm wrote: »

For me it is Irish people who "support" British soccer teams , yes I am including Celtic in it. It is really annoying that people get sucked into the bandwagon (of who ever is top team aged 10 ) then claim a connection...

If you grow up being entertained and excited by a certain football team then there is a connection. Do you feel the same way about Irish people growing up listening to British bands?

[Deleted User]

deaddonkey15 wrote: »

If you grow up being entertained and excited by a certain football team then there is a connection. Do you feel the same way about Irish people growing up listening to British bands?

Anyone that likens supporting a football team to liking bands hasn't a clue what supporting a football team actually is.

deaddonkey15

Omackeral wrote: »

Anyone that likens supporting a football team to liking bands hasn't a clue what supporting a football team actually is.

Having attended both a number of football matches and a number of concerts, I disagree.

Children are impressionable. What draws young Irish children to British football teams isn't really any different to what draws young Irish children to British and American bands and popstars.

Music: You like what you hear, you want to hear more of it. You're friends also like what they hear, and want to hear more. You admire the musician's talent. You develop an interest in their career. You're excited by the fame, the sold out shows. Your perhaps inspired to try singing or playing an instrument. You get a chance to go to a concert and thoroughly enjoy it. You want to go again. You maintain an interest as you get older. You associate songs with positive memories and happy times in your past. You look forward to new releases, announcements of live shows.You listen to the music every now and then because it makes you enjoy it and it makes you happy.

Football: You like what you see, you want to see more of it. You're friends also like what they see and want to see more. You admire the world class talented players. You develop an interest in the players and the club. You're excited by the fame of the players and the sell out stadiums every week. You're perhaps inspired to start playing football, maybe joining a local club or just playing at lunch time in school. You get a chance to go to a match at Old Trafford or Anfield and thoroughly enjoy it. You want to go again. You maintain an interest in the progress of the clubs and players as you get older. You associate the team with positive memories and happy moments in your past. You look forward to big matches, the announcement of big players signing. You watch the team play every now and then because you enjoy it and it makes you happy.

Granted, most Irish fans aren't from Manchester or Liverpool or Chelsea, but when you grow up with an interest in football and supporting a side that made you happy as a child then there is a connection. To me, people that can't understand, look down upon, and get annoyed by the fact that some Irish football fans enjoy supporting British football teams isn't just a sign of being a wanker or a tosser, it's a sign of being a grade A pr*ck.

JJJJNR

People at bus stops.

Bus ****.

Xenji

When you see somebody with their pants tucked into their socks.

Birneybau

Aidric wrote: »

Anyone wearing converse high tops.

Yeah, shoes. What's up with that?

darkpagandeath

People who use a suitcase as a bag. It's not quirky or unique.

brian_7070

Sorry but I am going to have to include people who use smileys of any kind at the end of a comment that is supposed to be funny or witty or tongue in cheek. 9 times out of 10 they are not really any of these things. It’s like canned laughter on a comedy show if it’s funny we will laugh we don’t need to be prompted to laugh or we don’t need an emoji with a wink or thumbs up if a comment is witty we will know.
Again sorry had to get that off my chest

fleet_admiral

People who send that thumbs up in Messenger.

Talk to me you twat

Saipanne

fleet_admiral wrote: »

People who send that thumbs up in Messenger.

Talk to me you twat

They don't want to talk to you.

razorblunt

Lads in office jobs who wear their suit jackets even when sitting down doing work.

fleet_admiral

Saipanne wrote: »

They don't want to talk to you.

U ok hun?

Cuban Pete

fleet_admiral wrote: »

U ok hun?

People who think this is funny.

Thargor

razorblunt wrote: »

Lads in office jobs who wear their suit jackets even when sitting down doing work.

Call the Guards quick! :eek:

Ash.J.Williams

"loonie Lefties"
"bleedin heart liberals"

if you have ever typed the above you are a wanker

and i'm spending too much time on the journal

Saipanne

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

"loonie Lefties"
"bleedin heart liberals"

if you have ever typed the above you are a wanker

and i'm spending too much time on the journal

Crazy neo liberal, etc, etc.

Face it. People on both sides are ****ing idiots.

razorblunt

Thargor wrote: »

Call the Guards quick! :eek:

It's more a case for the fashion police more than anyone else, to be honest.

Blazer

brian_7070 wrote: »

Sorry but I am going to have to include people who use smileys of any kind at the end of a comment that is supposed to be funny or witty or tongue in cheek. 9 times out of 10 they are not really any of these things. It’s like canned laughter on a comedy show if it’s funny we will laugh we don’t need to be prompted to laugh or we don’t need an emoji with a wink or thumbs up if a comment is witty we will know.
Again sorry had to get that off my chest

whew..that was close..good job I had it at the front of my comment or I'd be a complete wanker.

10000maniacs

Somebody who launches a "dramatic" sneeze and sprays everyone with his snot nodules in a crowded bus or train and does not even wince. Dick.

Saipanne

10000maniacs wrote: »

Somebody who launches a "dramatic" sneeze and sprays everyone with his snot nodules in a crowded bus or train and does not even wince. Dick.

It's ****ing disgusting.

tayto lover

Lads scratching their holes and picking their nose in mass and then offering you their hand in friendship. They can feck away off.

JJJJNR

10000maniacs wrote: »

Somebody who launches a "dramatic" sneeze and sprays everyone with his snot nodules in a crowded bus or train and does not even wince. Dick.

I have personal experience of a grown man sitting in front of me and a friend, picking a huge massive globe of stringy snot, holding it in the air with some still attached to this nostril and proceeding to eat it, right in front of us.. on the first early morning dart from Bray.

W.A.N.K.E.R

MonkstownHoop

JJJJNR wrote: »

I have personal experience of a grown man sitting in front of me and a friend, picking a huge massive globe of stringy snot, holding it in the air with some still attached to this nostril and proceeding to eat it, right in front of us.. on the first early morning dart from Bray.

W.A.N.K.E.R

Bray eh!

Salvation Tambourine

People that seem to have an opinion on all the topical big issues. Be it on Facebook or in person. You're not an expert on everything and how to fix all of the world's problems.

I've not really looked at the refugee issue at the moment so I'm not going to tell everyone how it should be dealt with.

Lux23

Someone who has a right to water poster as their avatar.

Daith

If they ever utter the phrase "I'm loyal to my political party".

[Deleted User]

anyone on Ireland AM!!

gerrybbadd

Those who pull out in front of you, from a side road onto the main road, and then don't bother their arse speeding up, so you end up having to jam on the brakes.

King George VI

rusty cole wrote: »

anyone on Ireland AM!!

What about Sinead Desmond? She's a ride.

Ash.J.Williams

Swing - the music of the wanker