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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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beks101

People with selfie sticks.
I still can't get over these. Where's your pride and self respect like? Get a grip. ****.

Ash.J.Williams

leanonme wrote: »

People who say stuff like above, what classes someone as our own?
How about we grade giving houses to those who have contribute to the country that they say is there own.

I work in the homeless section, and I have collegues who lived in direct provision, and went through that whole system, and who now work in the homeless sector, and are giving back to society. To me they are now more of 'our own' than some one who has never worked a day to help some one else, let alone paid a days tax and expect to be given a house.

People nowadays have no comprehension of what Ireland went through during the famine. America could have easily told us to F** off. ...but they didn't

SEPT 23 1989

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

People nowadays have no comprehension of what Ireland went through during the famine. America could have easily told us to F** off. ...but they didn't

America had plenty of uses for the Irish

cheap labour and cannon fodder would be two examples

Fukuyama

skittles8710 wrote: »

Grown adults with colouring books. Where the f did this latest hipster trend appear from?

Is this a reference to something? Or are you saying that grown men are literally carrying around colouring books?!

EDIT: I googled it. How does this exist? 'Moved to NYC to start a fledgling greetings card company. Peddling cards to independent stores-. Yeah - forgot to mention that you had daddy's credit card.

Some people need to grow the fcuk up. :rolleyes:

kunst nugget

Fukuyama wrote: »

Is this a reference to something? Or are you saying that grown men are literally carrying around colouring books?!

Colouring books for adults have been topping the bestseller lists on Amazon for the last while.

Fukuyama

kunst nugget wrote: »

Colouring books for adults have been topping the bestseller lists on Amazon for the last while.

I can't even fathom how or why someone over the age of 6 would want a colouring book.

If I knew anyone with a colouring book I'd lose all respect for them. This trend makes me want to cringe, rage and vomit and at the same time.

I thought the Penny Farthings and those little minature man pony tail things were the worst of it. :eek:

razorblunt

Fukuyama wrote: »

Is this a reference to something? Or are you saying that grown men are literally carrying around colouring books?!

EDIT: I googled it. How does this exist? 'Moved to NYC to start a fledgling greetings card company. Peddling cards to independent stores-. Yeah - forgot to mention that you had daddy's credit card.

Some people need to grow the fcuk up. :rolleyes:

Your link is to something about the Hannibal TV series, which has a spoiler (I think!).

SEPT 23 1989

kunst nugget wrote: »

Colouring books for adults have been topping the bestseller lists on Amazon for the last while.

this has to be a wind up:eek:

kunst nugget

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

this has to be a wind up:eek:

Honestly, I wish it was.

Fukuyama

razorblunt wrote: »

Your link is to something about the Hannibal TV series, which has a spoiler (I think!).

Crap.

Supposed to be this.

JustTheOne

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I agree with much of what's been posted already. Especially the man bun, Conor McGregor haircut brigade. There is no doubt that you guys are top wanker spotters.

I would like to add people who refer to healthy eating as eating 'clean'. They are militant about their diet and look down their noses at all those who enjoy a pizza/big mac/whatever. Oh and the well travelled shower who like to go on and on about it at every opportunity. It really is wonderful that you have scaled the heights of Machu Pichu but it doesn't make you a better or more interesting person and the rest of us don't give a f***.

Last sentenced of this is classic:)

smash

If you want to spot who the biggest wanker is at any party, just look for the guy who brought his guitar.

Saipanne

smash wrote: »

If you want to spot who the biggest wanker is at any party, just look for the guy who brought his guitar.

Closing his eyes as he plays Wish You Were Here. Knob.

oB1

Boring username wrote: »

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

"By Way of Update" - "Quick Win" - "Going Forward" - "Lets catch up on that" - using 'same' when referring to the subject you just spoke about, ie "i have been working on the report, see attached same" - "Low hanging fruit" - " do you have enough capacity, or bandwidth to do this task? "

just a few that drive me bananas, of which i swore i would never use any of them.. but here i am....

BoardsMember

People in traffic who roll up right behind the car in front, often into a yellow box, rather than let you out from a side road, and then stare studiously ahead as you bip the horn to tell them they are a wanker. ****. Whether they have seen you or not, pure ****.

sligojoek

RobertHopkins wrote: »

"By Way of Update" - "Quick Win" - "Going Forward" - "Lets catch up on that" - using 'same' when referring to the subject you just spoke about, ie "i have been working on the report, see attached same" - "Low hanging fruit" - " do you have enough capacity, or bandwidth to do this task? "

just a few that drive me bananas, of which i swore i would never use any of them.. but here i am....

It's a big ask but it's do-able

asherbassad

gormdubhgorm wrote: »

For me it is Irish people who "support" British soccer teams , yes I am including Celtic in it. It is really annoying that people get sucked into the bandwagon (of who ever is top team aged 10 ) then claim a connection...

Well some people like football to the extent that they would like to watch it every week. Now the best way to do this is to watch/follow English football since you will be able to see a game every saturday/sunday if you are lucky enough to have a subscription to a TV network that shows the games. If not you can still get your fix via Saturday morning's Football Focus (ok it's more of a chat show than anything but they do keep you updated on the latest news, etc.) and Match of the Day on Saturday night.

The League of Ireland doesn't really have any such coverage. You can really only watch games if you go to them and personally I think Friday night is a crap time to have a match played.

mikhail

asherbassad wrote: »

The League of Ireland doesn't really have any such coverage. You can really only watch games if you go to them and personally I think Friday night is a crap time to have a match played.

I fear someone may take this post as a sign that I'm a tosser, but there is an LoI highlights show on Monday nights called Soccer Republic.

ancapailldorcha

beks101 wrote: »

People with selfie sticks.
I still can't get over these. Where's your pride and self respect like? Get a grip. ****.

+1

I went here one weekend. I'd tried to go before but the weather went to pot when I landed so I gave it another go recently. I get down to the seaside ready to admire the lovely cliffs only to find it swarmed with selfie stick carrying idiots all over the place.

Sonderkommando

mikhail wrote: »

I fear someone may take this post as a sign that I'm a tosser, but there is an LoI highlights show on Monday nights called Soccer Republic.

True, also Setanta Ireland regularly show live matches.

asherbassad

mikhail wrote: »

I fear someone may take this post as a sign that I'm a tosser, but there is an LoI highlights show on Monday nights called Soccer Republic.

OK...fair enough. I didn't know they recorded every game.

BraveDonut

People who don't pick up after their dog that has just taken a giant sh1t in the middle of the footpath/park/beach.

But a million times worse are the w@nkers that actually do pick it up and then proceed to throw it somewhere else as litter.

What the fúck was the point of picking it up in the first place? - now the sh1t is inside a plastic bag that will take forever to bio-degrade

asherbassad

beks101 wrote: »

People with selfie sticks.
I still can't get over these. Where's your pride and self respect like? Get a grip. ****.

:pac:

Surely that's the objective of ****/wankerism

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/wank3

Electric Boobs

A quick note to all:

This thread is about traits in people that are a tell tail sign they're ****.

It is NOT a thread about traits you don't like in people.

Let's not lose the run of ourselves, or it'll have to be closed!

Regards,

Boobs

miralize

Electric Boobs wrote: »

A quick note to all:

This thread is about traits in people that are a tell tail sign they're ****.

It is NOT a thread about traits you don't like in people.

Let's not lose the run of ourselves, or it'll have to be closed!

Regards,

Boobs

Is that not the same thing?

Incidentally, I hate people who try to backseat mod.

[Deleted User]

miralize wrote: »

Is that not the same thing?

Incidentally, I hate people who try to backseat mod.

This, by 50 million thousand.

Generic Dreadhead

Re-regs

discodiva92

Guys with dickie bows

Aidric

Anyone wearing converse high tops.

valoren

Any adult who refers to or is referred to by others using a Nickname.

"How's it going, Denzer?"

"Not too bad. I was out with Jimbo at the weekend and we met Gonzo"

How bloody old are ye? 12?

****!