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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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nyarlothothep

Drivers that angrily wave you on when you decide not to avail of the free pass they're giving you if the road is busy. Eh, no I consider the situation too dangerous to make a move, p1ss of and leave me alone. Actually for that matter, anyone who attempts to break me out of my zone when driving, I refuse to look at or acknowledge anyone. I'm a really good driver too. Also swing drivers, knobheads.

Akrasia

[rant]People that ask you for help with something, and then when you go out of your way out of the kindness of your heart, and spend a good hour doing them up an SQL script and a really easy to use excel template to reduce their manual labour from an hour a day to 5 minutes a day and then they just say 'it looks complicated, I'll just do it my own way' without even listening to you when you're explaining how it works

**** you, try using your brain for a few minutes, you might learn something [/rant]

kupus

You have to stop at a crossing. it's a fine if y don't in other countries. So I'm fairly sure the same in Ireland.
There is a fairly significant number of women that shove their lil darlings in a pram out onto the road when traffic is coming. It's a pity these cows aren't fined.
Part of me is wondering are they doing it for the insurance claim.

Ash.J.Williams

murpho999 wrote: »

So why isn't your user name William then? :-)

i'm one of the williamsez!!

bottlebrush

kupus wrote: »

You have to stop at a crossing. it's a fine if y don't in other countries. So I'm fairly sure the same in Ireland.
There is a fairly significant number of women that shove their lil darlings in a pram out onto the road when traffic is coming. It's a pity these cows aren't fined.
Part of me is wondering are they doing it for the insurance claim.

These are the same women who drive around in people-carriers they think are built like German Panzers and if somebody crashes into them because of their crazy driving their precious people-carrier wont' even get a scratch

What are those?

bottlebrush wrote: »

These are the same women who drive around in people-carriers they think are built like German Panzers and if somebody crashes into them because of their crazy driving their precious people-carrier wont' even get a scratch

People carriers need to be banned too the feckin state of em,dont care how many children you have.state of the Yokes

asherbassad

professore wrote: »

Any Irish person who ....
Says "High Street" instead of "Main Street"
Says "The Garda" when they mean "The Gardaí". Which f**king Garda ???
Says "Euros" instead of "Euro"

Guilty of the craft beer wankerness myself

I fucking loathe when people say "Euro" instead of the plural "Euros". It sounds retarded. Some gushing idiot on the radio or tv announcing prices ...."Summer saver discount fares to all destinations. Price start at just 29 Euro"

Sounds absurd. When the pound was the currency you said "4 pounds, 27 pounds", whatever. A few dopes in Ireland would say "Jaysus, Francie, dat only cost tree pound" Did Irish people also say "5 Franc", "1000 peseta", "50 deutschmark"??

It's 1 fucking euro or two/three/four euros.

DEFTLEFTHAND

asherbassad wrote: »

I fucking loathe when people say "Euro" instead of the plural "Euros". It sounds retarded. Some gushing idiot on the radio or tv announcing prices ...."Summer saver discount fares to all destinations. Price start at just 29 Euro"

Sounds absurd. When the pound was the currency you said "4 pounds, 27 pounds", whatever. A few dopes in Ireland would say "Jaysus, Francie, dat only cost tree pound" Did Irish people also say "5 Franc", "1000 peseta", "50 deutschmark"??

It's 1 fucking euro or two/three/four euros.

It's because Euro is used as both singular and plural in EU legislation.

Ash.J.Williams

bloggers
http://www.sirenabergman.com/when-will-male-comedians-realise-that-misogyny-isnt-funny-or-acceptable/

Birneybau

asherbassad wrote: »

I fucking loathe when people say "Euro" instead of the plural "Euros". It sounds retarded. Some gushing idiot on the radio or tv announcing prices ...."Summer saver discount fares to all destinations. Price start at just 29 Euro"

Sounds absurd. When the pound was the currency you said "4 pounds, 27 pounds", whatever. A few dopes in Ireland would say "Jaysus, Francie, dat only cost tree pound" Did Irish people also say "5 Franc", "1000 peseta", "50 deutschmark"??

It's 1 fucking euro or two/three/four euros.

The official usage is Euro/Euro.

blackbird98

asherbassad wrote: »

I fucking loathe when people say "Euro" instead of the plural "Euros". It sounds retarded. Some gushing idiot on the radio or tv announcing prices ...."Summer saver discount fares to all destinations. Price start at just 29 Euro"

Sounds absurd. When the pound was the currency you said "4 pounds, 27 pounds", whatever. A few dopes in Ireland would say "Jaysus, Francie, dat only cost tree pound" Did Irish people also say "5 Franc", "1000 peseta", "50 deutschmark"??

It's 1 fucking euro or two/three/four euros.

Fail!! plural of Euro is Euro and plural of Cent is Cent

The English Style Guide of the European Commission Translation Service states:

12.12 … Guidelines on the use of the euro, issued via the Secretariat-General, state that the plurals of both ‘euro’ and ‘cent’ are to be written without ‘s’ in English. Do this when amending or referring to legal texts that themselves observe this rule.

asherbassad

blade1 wrote: »

It's says they have got tattoos, dreadlocks and piercings.
The biggest pr*ck in the world could have them or so could the soundest person in the world.

Well looking at a person who has no piercings, tattoos and has a "normal" hairstyle...you can't tell much about them. You couldn't for example tell what job they had.

Contrast this with the gent sporting dreadlocks, piercings and tattoos. You could tell a little bit more about him purely by knowing that there are certain jobs that he definitely would not have. You can be pretty certain he is not a concierge at a swanky hotel and most likely not a flight attendant for a national carrier. They have to wear short sleeved shirts as well.

kunst nugget

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

It's because Euro is used as both singular and plural in EU legislation.

Does it matter that much when it comes to informal conversation. I can't say I ever thought 'Wanker' when someone said could they have the loan of fifty euros. Well, I have. But that was because they were looking for money of me not because of their incorrect use of the plural in relation to the word 'euro'.

Saipanne

asherbassad wrote: »

I fucking loathe when people say "Euro" instead of the plural "Euros". It sounds retarded. Some gushing idiot on the radio or tv announcing prices ...."Summer saver discount fares to all destinations. Price start at just 29 Euro"

Sounds absurd. When the pound was the currency you said "4 pounds, 27 pounds", whatever. A few dopes in Ireland would say "Jaysus, Francie, dat only cost tree pound" Did Irish people also say "5 Franc", "1000 peseta", "50 deutschmark"??

It's 1 fucking euro or two/three/four euros.

No, it isn't. Look it up.

asherbassad

skittles8710 wrote: »

Running watches can take a good few minutes to pick up the gps signal. . Valid enough reason to do warm up stretches outside.

Do people wear them on a treadmill indoors

Sir montygom

Parents who think their children have the coolest names and go out of their way to let you know that..... I heard a mother calling her son " come here Brooklyn " in a busy supermarket yesterday in a loud voice so everyone could hear her...... Brooklyn was about 6 feet away at the time....

I can't stand parents in fast food outlets asking their obese kids what do the want for dinner!!

asherbassad

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

It's because Euro is used as both singular and plural in EU legislation.

Ahhh bollocks. That's just because you now have a common entity that crosses uncommon grammar zones so the rules for plural will differ. The Dutch say "een euro" (one euro).....but also "twee euros". The Krauts do the same.

The Irish say euro for plural not because of any adherence to some legal stipulation but because the yokels used to say "two pound eighty" instead of "two pounds eighty" and that crappy post-gaeilge habit has infected the pluralisation of "euro" as well

grundie

Riding on a bike, wearing a tracksuit, texting with one hand, cigarette hanging out of mouth and not looking where they are going.

sligojoek

Thse "Baby on board" signs are bad enough but what really screams "W*NKER" is the ones that have "Aoife/Ciara/Fiachra/Rónán on board"

Or "Little red devil on Board"

Boring username

Someone pointed this out to me about 2 years ago, and I've yet to see them proven wrong:

A woman in an SUV/4x4 will never, EVER let you out if you are waiting in traffic. Ever.

Ash.J.Williams

sligojoek wrote: »

Thse "Baby on board" signs are bad enough but what really screams "W*NKER" is the ones that have "Aoife/Ciara/Fiachra/Rónán on board"

Or "Little red devil on Board"

the little stick families and stick dog sticker on the back window:mad::mad:

Ash.J.Williams

OMG i'm like totallyWRECKED.COM

****

babyteeth

Boring username wrote: »

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? .

Thousands of posts on an internet forum

tayto lover

"Baby on Board"

Wanker driving.

sabat

Ah nevermind

cazzer22

sligojoek wrote: »

Thse "Baby on board" signs are bad enough but what really screams "W*NKER" is the ones that have "Aoife/Ciara/Fiachra/Rónán on board"

Or "Little red devil on Board"

I never understand these 'Baby on board' signs.
'Little legend on board' 'Daddy's little girl on board'. Just STOP.

well spoken man

Professional soccer player.....

Tarzana2

Kev W wrote: »

Or any and all Simpsons quotes in any context.

You are I would not get along.

Conor Bourke

DOPES who wear the collar on their polo shirt/football jersey turned up. Usually culchie bleedin' ticks who think it's the height of style and sophistication (and this is coming from a culchie)

The cut of you!

MarkY91

Today at the gym, 2 lads had dumbells all around their bench. About 5 different sets so 10 in total. You absolute ****!!!

People who don't re rack their weights. I hate you!