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Winter Proposal Help!!!!!

garethsmyth88

ok so just a heads up, i have included almost everything about our relationship in this forum post, this is so that you guys can get a better idea of we were are and should give you a better understanding of what might make the say more special for her, thank you very much for taking the time to read this, any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated and i look forward to reading them!

Me and my beautiful girlfriend Ashley have been dating for around a year now.
we are both 19 (soon to be 20) and are very much in love, here is the kicker...
she is from Boston Massachusetts and i am from Belfast Ireland, i know crazy.
we met on twitter of all places and first noticed each other on the 15th of december 2013, we talked every single day non stop since then and i knew that she was the girl from me, even though we hadn't yet met something just drew me to her.
originally we wernt really sure how we were going to make this whole thing work and i told her that i would give our relationship a title until we had met and both felt the same love for each other in person.

heres where it all falls into place, in july of 2014 i was given the opportunity to move to america to persue my career in ice hockey, i moved to Decatur Illinois to play Junior Ice Hockey and i knew within the first few weeks i just had to meet Ashley.

after 3 weeks of me being in Illinois ashley saved up enough money to fly into chicago to meet me, i was so excited but even more nervous. my buddy connor drove me the 4 hours to the airport. i pretended to ashley that i wasn't able to make it to the airport as i had team commitments when in reality i was hiding behind one of the pillars in the terminal ready to surprise her with a bunch of flowers and the biggest hug, as soon as i layed eyes on this girl i knew this was the girl i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

the next day (26th september) i asked ashley to be my girlfriend and of course she said yes because we both knew that we were very much in love, a few days later it was time for ashley to leave and for us to be long distance once again.

decmeber of 2014 ashley came back to Ireland with me for christmas and we had a blast, i met her family and she met mine it was just and all around amazing time.

when we landed in boston she drove back to her house and i boarded the next flight to chicago to continue playing hockey and we went back to being long distance again :'(

then in January of 2015 i got hurt and decided that it was best for me to take a break from hockey, this meant i had a few months left on my visa and enough money to let me stay at Ashley's parents for 2 months, we had the best time and just hung out through the snowstorms of February and march, i then flew back to ireland.

in may of 2015 ashley came to stay with me in ireland for the entire summer where we travelled all of the noth of irland and i took her to se some of the most beautiful things in the world, the giants causeway, mussenden temple, the rope bridge and tones of other things.

we are now long distance again and the next time we meet will be in October, i plan to propose to ashley and i want to make it amazing for her, i have already picked the ring and now all i need is a plan to go with it, id rally love some help or advice and if you could give any to make out day even more special i would greatly appreciate it!

sorry for the long message by the way i just really wanted to mention everything.
below i have mentioned some of the things that i have gathered that she thinks she would like, if you could collaborate some of there ideas into the proposal help i would really appreciate it.

things ashley wants/likes:
beaches
sunsets/sunrise
adventures
someone there to take a picture of me proposing
her nails to be done
water

(i really want to propose in december, i think the 15th would be cool because its when we started talking for the first time)

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Comments

eviltwin

At the risk of sounding like an old fogey, you're very young, why not enjoy yourself first before you settle down to marriage?

tread_softly

I agree with eviltwin. While it sounds like you guys are meant for each other, you should take the time to be with each other for a while before thinking of marriage.

I know you've spent a few months travelling around but ideally you should see if you can work out some way of living together for a while. You're totally in love and that's obvious, but a true sign of being able to love somebody is being able to live with them

See if you can move in together either in Ireland or America for a few months. You've been together a year I know, but try to really get to know each other. You know that she likes sunsets on the beach and getting her nails done but do you know if she likes to lie in on the weekend after a week of work, what dinners each of you can cook the best or whether she prefers cleaning the bathroom or kitchen!? Haha, it sounds silly but these are the stupid little things that really cement a couple together IMO.

Don't rush into it, you have plenty of time. I started going out with my husband when I was 19, we were engaged 5 years later and married another 4 after that. Between getting together and getting married we travelled the world, went to loads of concerts together, bought a house and got 2 wonderful cats.

Marriage is amazing but I would advise that the two of you take a few years to enjoy each other's company and really get to know each other.

Good luck with the rest of your lives

garethsmyth88

eviltwin wrote: »

At the risk of sounding like an old fogey, you're very young, why not enjoy yourself first before you settle down to marriage?

hi, i know this girl is the one, its not like we havent spent any time together, we have lived with each other now for around 7 months and we were with each other 24/7, i know literally everything about her and i know she is the one, if diddnt think she was 100 percent i wouldnt even consider this.

garethsmyth88

tread_softly wrote: »

I agree with eviltwin. While it sounds like you guys are meant for each other, you should take the time to be with each other for a while before thinking of marriage.

I know you've spent a few months travelling around but ideally you should see if you can work out some way of living together for a while. You're totally in love and that's obvious, but a true sign of being able to love somebody is being able to live with them

See if you can move in together either in Ireland or America for a few months. You've been together a year I know, but try to really get to know each other. You know that she likes sunsets on the beach and getting her nails done but do you know if she likes to lie in on the weekend after a week of work, what dinners each of you can cook the best or whether she prefers cleaning the bathroom or kitchen!? Haha, it sounds silly but these are the stupid little things that really cement a couple together IMO.

Don't rush into it, you have plenty of time. I started going out with my husband when I was 19, we were engaged 5 years later and married another 4 after that. Between getting together and getting married we travelled the world, went to loads of concerts together, bought a house and got 2 wonderful cats.

Marriage is amazing but I would advise that the two of you take a few years to enjoy each other's company and really get to know each other.

Good luck with the rest of your lives

bisounours

Why the rush to get married? Nothing wrong with a nice, LONG engagement...

Faith

garethsmyth88 wrote: »

we have lived with each other now for around 7 months and we were with each other 24/7, i know literally everything about her

I've known my husband for over 7 years, and I'd never say I know everything about him.

I think it's wonderful that you're so in love, but it's obvious that you're very young (both your age and the way you post). If the person is right for you, then they'll always be right for you. What's the rush about getting married? I think perhaps you're getting caught up in the excitement of a proposal, and not thinking through the actual consequences.

Who will pay for the wedding? Weddings in Ireland cost over E20,000 in average.

Where will you have the wedding? Ireland or America?

Will you move to the US or will she move here? Will you rent or buy? Can you afford to live out of home?

How will you manage visa issues? Are you prepared to be in limbo for several years trying to get a green card? Is she prepared to move to Ireland and be away from her family, with restrictions on working and studying?

Will one of you be able to financially and emotionally support the other while they're out of work, lonely and homesick in the early few years?

Have you discussed children? How many you'd like, if any? How you would be set financially for children? When would you like to start trying?

For people who've been with their partners for years, living together, marriage doesn't change much. But for people who are very young, or in new relationships, marriage is an unimaginably big change.

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but you need to think long and hard about the realities of what you're suggesting. It's not just a romantic gesture; it's got legal, financial and emotional consequences that I doubt you have considered. If she's right for you, then there's no rush

. Also, she's so young too that she could easily freak the hell out if you proposed to her. Rushing into things could destroy the relationship, so be aware of that too.

DivineGranny

I don't think you're too young to get engaged, but I would worry about how once the proposal is over you have to become long distance again. Do the two of you have any long term plans, for either you to move to be with her, or her to move to Ireland?

Also, I agree with Faith. There's so so so much that goes into a relationship, 7 months of living together really doesn't cut it.

I do wish you both the best, I'm sure you'll have a great future together even if you don't get married straight away!

garethsmyth88

DivineGranny wrote: »

I don't think you're too young to get engaged, but I would worry about how once the proposal is over you have to become long distance again. Do the two of you have any long term plans, for either you to move to be with her, or her to move to Ireland?

Also, I agree with Faith. There's so so so much that goes into a relationship, 7 months of living together really doesn't cut it.

I do wish you both the best, I'm sure you'll have a great future together even if you don't get married straight away!

yes thats the great thing! in january i will be going to live with her in Boston!

Toots

Will ye be living on your own together in Boston in January? If you will be, then I'd hold off until you're living together a few months and then ask. The reason I say this is when you initially move in with someone all on your own, there's usually a bit of friction until things settle down - over stupid stuff like tidying, cooking, leaving the toilet seat up/lid off toothpaste etc. Also stuff like money and bills can cause huge stress too. Some couples don't experience this, but the vast majority that I know do. It might take a bit of the shine off the engagement buzz.

I started going out with my husband 12 years ago when I was 17 and still in school - he was 19. We moved in together when I was 19, got engaged when I was 23, married 3 days after I turned 25. A baby and two dogs later, we're happily approaching our 5th wedding anniversary. I knew within a very short time of meeting my hubby that he was the one, and had he proposed when I was 18 I'd definitely have said yes, so I don't think 18/19 is too young to get engaged, however I'd really really recommend that you live together properly on your own as a couple first (ie no help from parents, the two of you supporting yourselves).

Would you think holding off until the 26th of September 2016? Maybe phrase it like "This day two years ago, I asked you to be my girlfriend, now I'd like to ask you to be my wife?" You could organise a half day in a spa so she could get nails etc done, then maybe an early dinner and then a walk on the beach at sunset? Bring a camera, and then set it up like you're going to use the timer to get a pic of the two of you but actually stick it on record, then you can video the proposal.

Would something like a promise ring be something you'd consider for the moment?

eviltwin

I would wait a bit before you propose. You've got a lot going on with the move to the US, concentrate on that and see how you go before you add an engagement to the mix. I was 18 when I started dating my husband, we moved in together and had a baby very early on. I would have married him in a heartbeat back then but looking back I'm glad we didn't rush things. Engagements are fun and romantic but it also puts pressure on a relationship to move it up a notch. In the end I was 31 when we eventually married so we waited a long time but I'm glad we did. It's nice to have things to look forward too and to be able to give them your full attention.

garethsmyth88

hi thank you for the replies, i really know that this is the girl for me, there is nothing stopping me from proposing to this girl. i realize that moving and setting up a new life together is stressful but fortunately we have both been working tirelessly and already have everything in place (flights, money for the ring, visa, jobs set up in the US and are both in full time education in the US) i will be moving to the US right after christmas! i am dead set on getting engaged to this girl and i have everything worked out already so i know i diddnt rush into it.

do you have any proposal suggestions?

stickybookmark

garethsmyth88 wrote: »

hi thank you for the replies, i really know that this is the girl for me, there is nothing stopping me from proposing to this girl. i realize that moving and setting up a new life together is stressful but fortunately we have both been working tirelessly and already have everything in place (flights, money for the ring, visa, jobs set up in the US and are both in full time education in the US) i will be moving to the US right after christmas! i am dead set on getting engaged to this girl and i have everything worked out already so i know i diddnt rush into it.

do you have any proposal suggestions?

I'm far too much of a cynic for this thread!

but anyway... you haven't even told us where you're meeting her on 15th December ...is it in Ireland or the States, which beaches is it near? If you want help on details you might have to give a bit more detail.

Also seeing as how she has told you she wants her nails done for the proposal and someone there to film it, why don't you just ask her where she wants to be proposed to as well? It sounds like she has it all worked out.

XxMCRxBabyxX

I'd echo the others and say that you might be jumping into this too quickly but if you really do want to go ahead with it...

Do you know her family/friends and the area well enough to organise some scavenger hunt kind of thing for her? If she likes adventures it might fit in with that. You could start with getting a friend to take her out to get her nails done and set up a few clues from there.