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Wedding Band Question?

Bradt Pitt

We are getting married on Sunday and were just contacted by our wedding band to say that there would be three couples coming to view the band - and was this ok with us?

Is this normal practice? (We booked our band having seen them at a friend's wedding so we've no experience of it)

If it is the done thing, how long should we expect the couples to be in attendance? In theory, we don't have a problem with it but don't like the idea of strangers hanging around for too long.

Thanks in advance

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Milly33

I heard about this from others, that this is how you see a band playing at weddings but yeah I never figured how you would do it.

One couple I know who done it said they just went into the room where the wedding was on, they dressed nice enough like for an afters and just sat at the bar stayed for about an hour to see them and left..

I wouldn't mind it, in my head I would think I would prefer not to know they are there, but in fairness if I saw a complete strange then I would be asking who they are...so fair deuce to the band for asking ye first..

thomas anderson.

Had to do this myself last weekend. Had permission to go in. Dressed nice stayed for 3 songs and left. There were 2 other couples there as well. They didn't stay long either

Milly33

did the bride and groom notice ye then or was it too busy to spot ye

sweetie

Personally, I wouldn't have it at my wedding. Most bands play pub gigs and or showcases specifically for this purpose. When we got married we went to see the band practicing and they were tight and sounded good so we were happy. Each wedding crowd is different so seeing a full dancefloor at one wedding doesn't guarantee it at the next.

annoyedgal

We had a couple do this at our wedding and our venue was exclusively for our wedding so we did notice them but wasn't bothered in the slightest. Don't think they stayed long.
It's completely different seeing a band at a wedding and a showcase as at a wedding you can judge how many are up dancing. If your not comfortable with it don't go for it. Don't know if I'd have liked three couples there but one was no bother.

Bradt Pitt

Thanks a million for the replies. Seems like it is a common thing so. I don't have a problem with it per se but may contact the band to request that they don't stay too long. I think that's reasonable?

sweetie

annoyedgal wrote:

We had a couple do this at our wedding and our venue was exclusively for our wedding so we did notice them but wasn't bothered in the slightest. Don't think they stayed long. It's completely different seeing a band at a wedding and a showcase as at a wedding you can judge how many are up dancing. If your not comfortable with it don't go for it. Don't know if I'd have liked three couples there but one was no bother.

Its not different though. I work at weddings and see lots of bands and every wedding is different. Get recommendations and read reviews online, even speak to former clients but you can't know if they will fill your dancefloor from seeing them elsewhere.

clint_silver

Bradt Pitt wrote: »

Thanks a million for the replies. Seems like it is a common thing so. I don't have a problem with it per se but may contact the band to request that they don't stay too long. I think that's reasonable?

They rarely stay any more then 3-4 songs anyway. they just want to see are you an actual band and what you sound like, look like, how are you reacting with the crowd. 3-4 songs will do that.

pooch90

If there will be three couples, I would definitely make it a 3-4 song limit and at the same time if possible. I wouldn't be impressed if they stayed an hour like mentioned above!

We had to view a band at another wedding and it was just so awkward, everyone at the wedding copped us walking in and stared us out. We watched 1/2 song and then listened from outside the door! They weren't for us anyway.
The band we booked we viewed at their Showcase and they had the place rocking, we knew they were for us. They rocked the wedding too happily!

thomas anderson.

Milly33 wrote: »

did the bride and groom notice ye then or was it too busy to spot ye

I dont think so. the bride did walk past but didnt really notice us. We were inconspicuous, tucked away at the corner of the bar.

I wouldnt mind it happening at my wedding. Would probably even ask them to stick around for a few pints.

Joe's fanclub

I agree with sweetie - there are other ways to see/research bands, you spend so much time deciding who to invite for a little group of strangers to suddenly turn up! Whatever about one couple, wouldn't have three, maybe I'm just feeling grumpy this morning

etymon

Depends on size of room and wedding, we are having maybe 80 for the dancing etc and I would defo notice them so would politely decline but if it's a massive ballroom etc wouldn't mind.

lazygal

We weren't asked if we'd allow this, but if my band had I wouldn't have agreed. I think its completely unprofessional to ask a paying customer if a potential customer can come to their wedding to see them at work. I remember hearing that this was common practice when we planned our wedding, and I ruled out bands that suggested it to us. No way would I expect to be able to have a look in the windown to see how my hair and makeup people were doing at someone else's wedding, or have a nose when the venue was putting on a wedding to see how the food and service were.
I have been at a wedding where it was really obvious that a couple had been told to pop in to check out the band and it wasn't something I wanted happening on my day. We married in a venue that we had to ourselves, but more than that, we were paying for a service, not so that someone else could come and see whether they'd book the band too. We saw our band at a showcase and booked them on that.

skallywag

What would annoy me about this is the lateness in the day that it is being brought up.

Fair enough that the band can ask, but if I was asked within a few days of getting married then I may feel compelled to agree for fear that I piss them off and hence end up with an average or below average performance from them. I think that they should have pointed out this possibility long ago, and hence given you the option to find someone else in the case that it did not sit easy with you.

Preset No.3

Black tie wedding I was playing at, bride and groom were coming to see band rocking in jeans and a hoody. Totally out of place, stayed about 30 minutes until hotel manager asked them to leave. A couple is ok, but 6+ people crashing a wedding to see the band play is bad form.

Amoureux

To be honest this isn't really something I would like, 6 complete strangers at your wedding, that's 6 people who could be taking up prime space at the bar or at a table near the dance floor, plus you aren't guaranteed that they're going to be dressed appropriately or how long they are going to stay.
I'm sure that these couples have the best of intentions but on my wedding day this is just one extra thing I'd rather not have to think about.

Fagashlil

Our band asked us would we mind if a couple who live in the UK and were only over for the weekend came to view, they were trying to watch from the doorway, but my mam spotted them and sent them in to sit down! Didn't really mind, although I'll never forget your man had luminous orange runners on, dress appropriately ffs.

hdowney

I'd be a no I think on this. You spend so long agonizing over who to invite, every little detail etc that to have strangers there wouldn't seem right.

Also curious. Some folk have said they go and sit at the bar with a drink and listen to a few songs. What happens if you have an open bar? I wouldn't want to be paying for some stranger to drink while they listen to the band I paid for to decide if they are for them.

AoifeCork

Weddings are private, invite only events! Personally we never allow a couple to see us perform at a wedding! Does this maybe lose Us some business? Possibly.. But I'd rather respect a couple who HAVE booked us over trying to please one who may not even end up booking the band. Showcases and pub gigs will give prospective clients an idea of what a band is about... That's why bands do them regularly. I don't blame any couple who may be iffy about punters coming to their reception for a look, it's not a feckin marketing op, it's their wedding day! And especially with exclusive use venues on the rise. Private means private.

Toots

This is pretty poor form of your band to inform you that late in the day OP, because as you said you're in an awkward position now. I mightn't mind one couple providing they dressed appropriately, and were fairly inconspicuous, but 3 couples is taking the complete piss IMO.

ShaShaBear

We saw our wedding band at another's wedding. In fairness, we dressed properly, and the place we viewed the band from wasn't actually visible to other guests so no-one but the staff that guided us there would have seen us.
I wouldn't object to one couple coming to see a band. But three? On the same night? Nuh-uh

purplecow1977

I'd have no issues with and surprised so many do.
It's surely the best way for a couple to decide if they want to fork out a few grand for their wedding and a good band is one of the most important things
If they want to stay an hour,what's the harm?
As long as they're not filling up on my sambos!!!

katydid

Bradt Pitt wrote: »

We are getting married on Sunday and were just contacted by our wedding band to say that there would be three couples coming to view the band - and was this ok with us?

Is this normal practice? (We booked our band having seen them at a friend's wedding so we've no experience of it)

If it is the done thing, how long should we expect the couples to be in attendance? In theory, we don't have a problem with it but don't like the idea of strangers hanging around for too long.

Thanks in advance

I think it's a bit cheeky, to be honest.

katydid

Yusuf CoolS Navy wrote: »

Standard practice from my experience. Couples I know getting married appear to go around to a few different weddings to hear the bands before deciding. Surprised ye were told even and they just didn't pop in and say nothing.

I hate wedding bands. Just have a deejay, much cheaper, and they can play the proper songs, not half assed versions.

lazygal

purplecow1977 wrote: »

I'd have no issues with and surprised so many do.
It's surely the best way for a couple to decide if they want to fork out a few grand for their wedding and a good band is one of the most important things
If they want to stay an hour,what's the harm?
As long as they're not filling up on my sambos!!!

I wasn't paying out all that money for some other couple to view them as a trial run for their wedding. I didn't want randomers looking for a band for their wedding showing up at mine. Why would any band think this was a professional way to behave?

As for getting a dj only it depends. You need an amazing dj ime. Our band were brilliant and we still get asked who they were by other people planning weddings.

katydid

lazygal wrote: »

As for getting a dj only it depends. You need an amazing dj ime. Our band were brilliant and we still get asked who they were by other people planning weddings.

Just a personal thing..however amazing the deejay he or she has to be better than a band playing other people's songs badly, or even half well. I had a deejay at my wedding, thirty years ago, it was great.

lazygal

katydid wrote: »

Just a personal thing..however amazing the deejay he or she has to be better than a band playing other people's songs badly, or even half well. I had a deejay at my wedding, thirty years ago, it was great.

And we had a band at our wedding four years ago, it was great. Amazing actually and I wouldn't have changed a thing. It depends on the band. We paid a premium for a really good one. I've been at weddings which had a crap dj playing rubbish and bands that were awful.

katydid

lazygal wrote: »

And we had a band at our wedding four years ago, it was great. Amazing actually and I wouldn't have changed a thing. It depends on the band. We paid a premium for a really good one. I've been at weddings which had a crap dj playing rubbish and bands that were awful.

Diffren't strokes...