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Child Item

Witty, hilarious, and utterly inappropriate newspaper headlines

Boring username

Say what you want about the red tops, but they do occasionally come up with some brilliant headlines. Take this little beauty, for instance:

Not to be outdone, the Irish Independent churned out this classic in 2013:

And then you have the wildly over the top, nuclear weapons grade level of offensive headline. This was an actual New York Sunday News headline after the Stonewall Park riots in 1969, sparked by a heavy handed Police raid on a gay bar:

15_stonewall-nocrop-nydailynewsheadline.jpg?w=1058

15_stonewall-nocrop-nydailynewsheadline.jpg?w=1058

What other headlines stuck in your mind?

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Lucifer MorningStar

Wacker The Attacker

donegaLroad

off the top of my head, the time the Monk applied for a taxi license.. headline in the Herald (I think)

'Monk takes CAB for a ride'

A long time ago I remember a headline in the local paper which read

'Hopes for new fire station in Milford are rekindled'

and in the same paper, a headline appeared in an article about a road fatality which read

'Calls for zero tolerance after death'

The Backwards Man

An American one that always get thrown out

'Missippi's literacy program shows improvement'

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

Lucifer MorningStar wrote: »

Sadly it's not real. This is however.....

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/29/newspaper-fail-sex-offend_n_629837.html

castletownman

[Deleted User]

stimpson

http://m.independent.ie/irish-news/new-bishop-prays-for-rape-victims-29638222.html

Kermit.de.frog

Red Kev

Inverness Caledonian Thistle beat Celtic a few years ago in a shock defeat.

This was the next days headline.........

major bill

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQmqVXtzDAJ3cWTDuqhumI-A6Bqcq_gLG1qxfAXZVuFZuXRITj6hg

Boring username

Red Kev wrote: »

Inverness Caledonian Thistle beat Celtic a few years ago in a shock defeat.

This was the next days headline.........

https://supercaleygoballistic.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/super-caley-go-ballistic1.jpg

That man should have been knighted the next day :P

donegaLroad

major bill wrote: »

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQmqVXtzDAJ3cWTDuqhumI-A6Bqcq_gLG1qxfAXZVuFZuXRITj6hg

imagine being in court for that hearing..

fleet_admiral

I remember the Sun when pat the baker died

'Pat The Baker Is Brown Bread'

kfallon

[Deleted User]

I think it was either the Russians or the Chinese recently that sent a chimp into space.

The headline on the Metro was "This Monkey's Gone to Heaven".

For those not familiar with the Pixies the following video provides you with some much needed perspective:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK3iSglbZUM

NachoBusiness

https://twitter.com/MrNachoBusiness/status/626458404526141440

LordSutch

World War II bomber found on moon!

Freddie Starr ate my hamster

Rubberlegs

Freddie Starr ate my hamster

NachoBusiness

https://twitter.com/MrNachoBusiness/status/626460664182243328

Rubberlegs

LordSutch wrote: »

World War II bomber found on moon!

Freddie Starr ate my hamster

Hehe, snap !!

Happyman42

Muff Diver Rescued From Crabs.

*may not be true.

bisounours

Canadian friend told me about this one so not sure if it's true!

Pope JP II visited Canada back in the day and declared the beaver a fish. Headlines the day after were screaming "Pope eats beaver on Fridays"

BoredDOTie2014

A few years ago the widow of Frog Ward, (the burglar shot dead by farmer Padraig Nally) fell pregnant by her new Nigerian lover. A Sunday paper went with the headline:
Sprog Ward

[Deleted User]

I thought this might work better in the cool vids pics & link forum as you can embed pics here. I've left a redirect from AH. Hope that's OK. If you want it sent back just report this post and the lads will send it back my way

major bill

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS1xQI4XJAb_thMgixzkbkCVUFfO7-BdS_0lG03-dhSnsfXJ34A4A

major bill

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sunday-life/sex-with-mattress-accused-under-terror-death-threat-30551889.html

wtf

NachoBusiness

Parent's Magazine.

Where Magazine.

Son Of A Vidic

mallards