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Child Item

Viral Facebook video speaking out about domestic violence (Read mod note in the OP)

john why

Did anyone see the video on FB with over 550k views in a few hours? Poor girl telling how her fella whose a fitness instructor gave her a black eye in front of her kid. Fair play to her speaking out and hopefully helping others suffering from domestic violence.

Mod note:

Absolutely no identifying the man involved and no links to her facebook page. You can link to media sources that has the video in it.

Mod: Right, let's drop the whole "don't be dating scumbags/women date scumbags blah blah blah". Most people don't choose to date an abuser. And no, this isn't up for discussion.

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magma69

Video is gone viral. Video will hurt him far more than anything the guards will do.

NachoBusiness

mickstupp wrote: »

Not a chance... Do you mean not a chance that she could possibly have any interest in using her own misfortune to highlight a very serious issue?

No, if she (or anyone) wanted to do help other victims of domestic violence, they would make the video, take photos, keep them and post them on YouTube or write an article / blog about it six months down the line when it was all done with and say: 'Here's what I went through, but I did x, y and z and I got help and now I am back on my feet, you can too, don't let this happen to you, there is help available' etc.

Posting a video straight away on FB, with no mention of the authorities, helps nobody.

The Moldy Gowl

What can't we link the video directly here, but link to other sites that have it?

So, why aren't we allowed link it from Facebook?

poeticmakaveli

Terrible to see any man hit any woman and vice versa, even mental torture is as bad and worse!
But the only thing that annoys me is this "raise awareness" Everybody is raising awareness these days, we know what's right and wrong and nobody needs to see this video to learn that its wrong and you need to go to the guards and friends about this man, I think some people love the glory of it all by getting more attention than help!

Boom_Bap

Gowlasauras Rex wrote: »

What can't we link the video directly here, but link to other sites that have it?

So, why aren't we allowed link it from Facebook?

When linking to FB, you would be linking the profile of a user. We dont do that on boards.

You can link to an article that has the link embedded.

michael999999

NachoBusiness wrote: »

No, if she (or anyone) wanted to do help other victims of domestic violence, they would make the video, take photos, keep them and post them on YouTube or write an article / blog about it six months down the line when it was all done with and say: 'Here's what I went through, but I did x, y and z and I got help and now I am back on my feet, you can too, don't let this happen to you, there is help available' etc.

Posting a video straight away on FB, with no mention of the authorities, helps nobody.

How do you know him?

NachoBusiness

eviltwin wrote: »

I reckon to 99% of the population he is a nobody.

Indeed, but the video was no doubt made with the 1% in mind and to ruin the chances of that single digit ever becoming a double one.

Which is all cool if all is as she suggests and as I say, if it is, hopefully imprisonment will be his punishment, not being unfriended.

CaoimheSquee

poeticmakaveli wrote: »

Terrible to see any man hit any woman and vice versa, even mental torture is as bad and worse!
But the only thing that annoys me is this "raise awareness" Everybody is raising awareness these days, we know what's right and wrong and nobody needs to see this video to learn that its wrong and you need to go to the guards and friends about this man, I think some people love the glory of it all by getting more attention than help!

I did think that too, for a moment, everyone seems to be raising awareness about something these days. I also thought it would be better to say that no one should hit anyone, rather than being gender specific, and I would put money on it that she would agree too. One has to remember the sheer levels of emotion that would have been present within her while recording this.

However, from glancing through the comments the amount of women (literally hundreds) explaining that that they have been through the same and thanking her for posting the video took away any cynicism I may have somewhat felt. It was amazing and instantly warranted her posting of the video imho.

The fact is she has got two black eyes and her head split open while this guy has had two affairs, got another woman pregnant and mentally abused her is really worth baring in mind. If helping others gives her some extra strength to get through this too then I think she should go for it and I wish her and her kids the very best.

Fakman87

I know the guy in question. Not the nicest guy in the world but I can't help but think there was probably a better course of action for her to take, especially for her children's sake.

CaoimheSquee

NachoBusiness wrote: »

No, if she (or anyone) wanted to do help other victims of domestic violence, they would make the video, take photos, keep them and post them on YouTube or write an article / blog about it six months down the line when it was all done with and say: 'Here's what I went through, but I did x, y and z and I got help and now I am back on my feet, you can too, don't let this happen to you, there is help available' etc.

Posting a video straight away on FB, with no mention of the authorities, helps nobody.

Yes it does. It helps others come forward and talk and not feel alone.

mickstupp

NachoBusiness wrote: »

No, if she (or anyone) wanted to do help other victims of domestic violence, they would make the video, take photos, keep them and post them on YouTube or write an article / blog about it six months down the line when it was all done with and say: 'Here's what I went through, but I did x, y and z and I got help and now I am back on my feet, you can too, don't let this happen to you, there is help available' etc.

Posting a video straight away on FB, with no mention of the authorities, helps nobody.

Helps nobody... except for all the people that it helps, who might not have had the bravery to stand up and get out of bad situations otherwise.

You have no idea the effect it will have but you're dismissing the possibility out of hand. You've also dismissed any positive motive she may have had, i.e. raising awareness (yes poeticmakaveli, that phrase is clearly an indicator of insincerity), by saying she wouldn't have done it if the man in question wasn't well known, whoever the hell he is. You say 'if she wanted to help other victims of domestic violence', clearly implying you don't think she does want to help other victims of domestic violence, because she's not following what you deem to be the logical, rational, process.

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Indeed, but the video was no doubt made with the 1% in mind and to ruin the chances of that single digit ever becoming a double one.

You seem so sure. When did she tell you this was her motive?

eviltwin

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Indeed, but the video was no doubt made with the 1% in mind and to ruin the chances of that single digit ever becoming a double one.

Which is all cool if all is as she suggests and as I say, if it is, hopefully imprisonment will be his punishment, not being unfriended.

The thing is there is not much that gardai can do. He will at most get a night in the cells if that.

anncoates

Sorry, but I sort of agree with the people feeling disquiet about using social media as a kangaroo court before seeking actual justice through the law.

I've zero sympathy for any prick that beats somebody obviously and it's human to be glad that they will be outed and punished in the harshest way and that the victim can feel some empowerment.

I can also see why a woman would rightly fear that the law may not adequately serve her in this regard.

For all that, even when social media is used as a summary court to destroy somebody;s life 'in the right', it's still irrevocably ushering in a time where it's commonplace to use the same media to destroy lives purely for lolz or spite without consequence.

fullstop

eviltwin wrote: »

I reckon to 99% of the population he is a nobody.

Yeah, never heard of him. Was expecting him to be one of those reality tv z-list celebrities.

padd b1975

c_man wrote: »

I think Internet Law allows him to outline his defence on Twitter.

All Tweets must start with 'Some people..........':cool:

darkdubh

So is this guy "famous"?All I know about him is he was on some RTE reality show.Is he some sort of sporting figure?(not asking anyone to name him)

janja

She was on the Adrian Kennedy show on 98fm this morning if anyone wants to listen back.

Mightydrumming

5,555,102 views already between private page and business page. What a job she done, I can only imagine the amount of courage it took for her to post the video. I'm sure he will get his comupins! Big hard man will get a knock or two in the coming months. Atleast she's safe and away from him and she has a good business behind her.

NachoBusiness

eviltwin wrote: »

The thing is there is not much that gardai can do. He will at most get a night in the cells if that.

Oh I appreciate that to a degree, and it shouldn't be, and like I say, if that is the case, cool, no bother. I wouldn't say for a second that he doesn't deserve to lose his reputation and means of earning a living as a result of this, of course he should, if all is as she suggests and I hope then that it does go on to negatively effect his earning potential.

However, I just don't believe that she posted the video for the reasons she is claiming.

mickstupp wrote: »

Helps nobody... except for all the people that it helps, who might not have had the bravery to stand up and get out of bad situations otherwise.

I have already conceded that victims of domestic violence (both men and women) have role to play in that regard and so making the point doesn't retort anything that I have said.

You have no idea the effect it will have but you're dismissing the possibility out of hand. You've also dismissed any positive motive she may have had, i.e. raising awareness (yes poeticmakaveli, that phrase is clearly an indicator of insincerity), by saying she wouldn't have done it if the man in question wasn't well known, whoever the hell he is. You say 'if she wanted to help other victims of domestic violence', clearly implying you don't think she does want to help other victims of domestic violence, because she's not following what you deem to be the logical, rational, process.

You seem so sure. When did she tell you this was her motive?

She didn't, obviously. She posted a video publicly. I watched it. Now I'm commenting on it.

In that video she made many claims about this man: that he had affairs, that he got another woman pregnant, that he won't be around for his kids anymore and that their children (7 months and 18 months) will know that their daddy hit their mammy. Why will they know this? Why do we need to know about the affairs? The video (posted on her FB page where I am sure all their friends and family would see) just seems like a laundry list of his sins and all done under the guise of alerting women to domestic abuse. I simply don't buy it.

As I said earlier: there is a time and a place to release videos and pictures of your injuries to the public and that is when your effort at seeking justice through the correct avenues have been exhausted and you have some real advice to give women and what it is that they need to do should they unfortunately find themselves in similar circumstances.

bucketybuck

Posting videos to the lynch mob on Facebook and doing radio interviews are not the correct way to handle being the victim of a crime. It wouldn't be the first time baying mobs went after somebody despite not having all the details and the damage done can be not insignificant.

Vigilante justice is no justice at all, especially when fueled by the "U OK BABE" brigade.

mikom

Interestingly yer man tweeted on Apr 18th............ "It's hard to beat a person who never gives up".

Pumpkinseeds

I haven't looked at the video or media reports, so I'm just going by the posts. But does this woman have any evidence to substantiate her claim that he gave her the black eye or is this just people taking her word for it?

rolexeagle1

mikom wrote: »

Interestingly yer man tweeted on Apr 18th............ "It's hard to beat a person who never gives up".

In relation to what?

Mightydrumming

bucketybuck wrote: »

Posting videos to the lynch mob on Facebook and doing radio interviews are not the correct way to handle being the victim of a crime. It wouldn't be the first time baying mobs went after somebody despite not having all the details and the damage done can be not insignificant.

Vigilante justice is no justice at all, especially when fueled by the "U OK BABE" brigade.

To be honest, from my point of view - I haven't seen anything like this on Facebook before. Hence why I think it's affective. As it was stated earlier in the thread, in this day and age - the Gardaí most likely wouldn't have done much. We don't know if she went to them before posting the video. I think it's a great first step in bringing the 'big hard' men to justice.

She had a choice whether or not she wanted to post the video, she decided to post it - Kudos to her I think

bucketybuck

Mightydrumming wrote: »

To be honest, from my point of view - I haven't seen anything like this on Facebook before. Hence why I think it's affective. As it was stated earlier in the thread, in this day and age - the Gardaí most likely wouldn't have done much. We don't know if she went to them before posting the video. I think it's a great first step in bringing the 'big hard' men to justice.

She had a choice whether or not she wanted to post the video, she decided to post it - Kudos to her I think

Effective?

How about asking, is it even true?

Riskymove

Mightydrumming wrote: »

To be honest, from my point of view - I haven't seen anything like this on Facebook before. Hence why I think it's affective. As it was stated earlier in the thread, in this day and age - the Gardaí most likely wouldn't have done much. We don't know if she went to them before posting the video. I think it's a great first step in bringing the 'big hard' men to justice.

She had a choice whether or not she wanted to post the video, she decided to post it - Kudos to her I think

on the flip side a concern must be that this will end with the man getting off it ends up in court due to the publicity and difficulties getting a fair trial etc.

blue note

If he's innocent he can sue her for defamation of character and show the world the claims were unfounded. If he's not he has nothing to complain about.

Drumpot

NachoBusiness wrote: »

As I said earlier: there is a time and a place to release videos and pictures of your injuries to the public and that is when your effort at seeking justice through the correct avenues have been exhausted and you have some real advice to give women and what it is that they need to do should they unfortunately find themselves in similar circumstances.

A woman was allegedly beaten, her marriage is probably over and its most definitely effected her children.

Yet you feel compelled to start a debate about the manner in which she communicated it ? You think a person who possibly suffered mental and physical abuse should be able to take rational/objective and conservative actions when carefully considering how to deal with this trauma ?

That's presuming anybody else actually has an issue with the manner in which she chose to communicate her story . . Which she is entitled to do . .

Mightydrumming

bucketybuck wrote: »

Effective?

How about asking, is it even true?

Well as of now, the man in question hasn't disagreed with the claims. He deleted all social media. If I was wrongly accused of such allegations, my first order of business would be to come out and tell my side of the story.

bucketybuck

blue note wrote: »

If he's innocent he can sue her for defamation of character and show the world the claims were unfounded. If he's not he has nothing to complain about.

If he is innocent the damage is already done. That he can sue for defamation would be of little use at that point.