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Rural Legends.

Aongus Von Bismarck

We’ve all heard of the urban legend – Bruce Springsteen buying dinner for an entire table at Chapter One after meeting one of the party outside for a cigarette - if they’d promise not to hassle his mate Bono if he went out for a smoke.

Ronnie Drew taking a porter-filled piss into your auld one’s letterbox as he stumbled home from the pub after talking about music with this red haired lad called Luke Kelly. The usual auld palaver that emerges out of Dubs getting maudlin about the ‘durtee aulddd town” of yesteryear.

So where are the rural legends? Those stories that you hear that couldn’t possibly be true, but really should be if there is any sense of justice, mischief and revenge in the world? Joe Dolan playing for 4 hours in your uncle's garden after his van broke down outside Clifden. Meeting the Quare Fella on a boreen after drinking 12 pints of stout. That sort of thing.

Why such a trivial question from the dreaded AvB I hear you ask? Well I’ve had a few glasses of good Scotch that I picked up at the airport in Frankfurt,alongside a sudden appreciation for hearing an elderly neighbour of ours deliver juicy gossip in a beautiful and old-fashioned way.

The Baron.

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Santa Cruz

kylith wrote: »

Are there any women in the area who may have a white dress/skirt and top that they may occasionally wear?

There is and at night time its usually up around their waist as thry lie down in some field or with their legs hqnging out the back door of a car

harry Bailey esq

Crooked Jack wrote: »

Locally there's a field that's supposed to be a mass famine grave and i've heard a legend about a brit army patrol getting stuck in it one night and not finding their way out til dawn.

The 'hungry grass' it roughly translates as. Its not unique to South Armagh,its a common phenomenon up and down the country.Some interesting threads on it have popped up in the paronormal forum over the years.

Xenji

jmayo wrote: »

Is that in Straide ?

Yeah, it is on the left hand side of a straight as your heading to foxford, its the only house there so its easy to spot, went into it one night with a few others on a dare, strange vibe about the place.

jmayo

_Brian wrote: »

...

The AI man fulfills a similar function but no bull is made happy.

Incidentally, the last "bull man" I remember here locally was gored to death by the bull, occupational hazard I suppose, something the AI man doesn't worry about I suppose.

Ehh where do you think the AI gets the bull semen ?
Sometimes someone has to ehhhh help the bull jack off.
Actually saw a program about massive US pig operation and some poor guys job was helping the boars.

Xenji wrote: »

... and the haunted house between Ballyvary and Foxford, actually knew a family that lived there, they lasted 3 days before moving out.

Is that in Straide ?

There was the story about the lad who had the two dead sisters still in the house. Norman Bates style.
Oh wait that was fecking true.

Well then there was the story about the lad who buried the mother in the front garden.
Oh wait that was true as well.

Feck it truth is stranger than legend around here.
Barons and jackeens beware.

Mozzeltoff

Means Of Escape wrote: »

Heard one of a stubborn farmer in Clare who wanted to level a fairy fort on his land
Despite protests he carried on with the front bucket and shoved the earth to the ditch.legend has it the JCB jammed at an angle downwards in the ditch. He attempted to find out what the front of the was caught in and as he was under the bucket all hydraulics failed and he was crushed under said bucket.

Story like this going around years ago in North Tipp as well.

There was plans for a new housing estate to be built outside Thurles. However the proposed site for the estate had a ring fort on it. No one wanted to destroy the fort but apparently one machine driver decided to take on the challenge and bull dozed it. He got no luck for it apparently and years of misfortune followed him. Apparently he suffered a massive cardiac arrest, broke his hip, his house went up on fire etc.

There's a small lake near my parents house. Locals will tell you that the lake is actually the surfacing point of an underwater river. It's also meant to be bottomless and many a man, during the war of independence, has shoved the body of a Black and Tan in the lake.

And another story springs to mind. This story was told by my fathers friend.

Somewhere up near the Silver mine mountains, there was a group of council men doing work to a road, which happened to be outside some gates to some estate. Every evening, before they were finished work, a man of about sixty or seventy would cycle past the work men on his way to the pub. He would stop at the gates however and could be heard saying "Good evening sir" and then cycle on again.

The council men soon found out from a few locals that the old man was apparently "talking" to the "old lord of the estate". It was wide belief that the old man had was going a bit daft, even though he insisted he wasn't.

Anyway this kept going and one evening after the old man passes, one of the more mischievous work men decides to play a trick on the old man. He talks the rest of them in to it. The plan was to get two of the men to throw a sheet over their heads and sit up on the pier of the gate and wait for the old man to cycle home from the pub and scare the living bejayus out of him.

It was a pretty cruel joke to play but they didn't care one way or the other. So off they go and get bed sheets. They throw the sheets over two of the lads and they sit up on the pier, laughing and roaring about how much of a fright your man will get.

Anyway, it gets pretty late. The lads were starting to doubt if the old man would come home from the pub at all. But eventually, in the early hours of the morning they can hear him, happily drunk and singing away to himself. As he passes the gate he stops and looks up at the pier. The two lads dressed in the bed sheets start wailing and moaning but the old fella just looks a little bemused.

Finally he says "Jaysus, there's three of ye there tonight!". The two boys look to one side to find a man in a cloak and as pale as death, sitting up beside them.

They jumped from the wall with the fright and ran like the clappers of hell.

ablelocks

Means Of Escape wrote: »

This has nothing to do with the rumour that the original plans for the main runway for Shannon airport was changed by a number of degrees to avoid having to flatten a fairy fort .

the M18 motorway was moved to the right by about 20 feet to avoid cutting down a fairy tree. Eddie Lenihan "lead the campaign".

tree is still there

Xenji

The Quare Fella has been blamed for burning down about a dozen pubs and hotels around the area, all stories involve poker on the sabbath and a large insurance payout in the end.

Also the sea monster of Glendarry Lake and the haunted house between Ballyvary and Foxford, actually knew a family that lived there, they lasted 3 days before moving out.

Means Of Escape

Heard one of a stubborn farmer in Clare who wanted to level a fairy fort on his land
Despite protests he carried on with the front bucket and shoved the earth to the ditch.legend has it the JCB jammed at an angle downwards in the ditch. He attempted to find out what the front of the was caught in and as he was under the bucket all hydraulics failed and he was crushed under said bucket

This has nothing to do with the rumour that the original plans for the main runway for Shannon airport was changed by a number of degrees to avoid having to flatten a fairy fort .

whisky_galore

Crooked Jack wrote: »

Locally there's a field that's supposed to be a mass famine grave and i've heard a legend about a brit army patrol getting stuck in it one night and not finding their way out til dawn.

The 'stray sod'.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stray_sod

Another story was of a group of Cromwellian soldiers during a 'priest hunt', whilst fording a river one of their number's horse shied and he suffered a broken neck and was killed. The rest of them found a nearby old graveyard, dug a hole and buried him. The following morning it was found that the occupants had upped sticks and moved premises, grave markers and all, and left the soldier in a lonely grave on his own!

http://historicgraves.com/blog/places/matehy-graveyard-county-cork-spelling-and-lore-how-did-headstones-end-riverbed

Crooked Jack

I've heard that a young(er) Meatloaf was decked during a gig he was doing in Blaney. My uncle claims to be the man who did it but I wouldnt believe yon bollocks. The actual story about Meatloaf getting leveled in Blaney I've heard a few times though.

Locally there's a field that's supposed to be a mass famine grave and i've heard a legend about a brit army patrol getting stuck in it one night and not finding their way out til dawn. Similar sort of story about ghost brit soldiers stopping cars at the scene of the Narrow Water ambush outside Warrenpoint.

whisky_galore

Whispered wrote: »

On the badger thing; apparently years ago, men out hunting would walk with a twig down their boots. If they were attacked by a badger, it would bite their ankle, hear the twig breaking, think it had broken a bone and be happy enough to wander off.

Probably giving the badger a bit too much credit there.

Heard that too, and similar stories in regard to mink and the damage they could do to you.

People were also deathly afraid of bats getting entangled in hair!:pac:

Red Kev

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

The story I heard was about two small farmers in rural East Galway. They fell out in the early 80's about something to do with access to a river for livestock. Didn't speak for the guts of 30 years. Wouldn't even acknowledge each other. Joe had a beautiful spring lamb robbed back in April. It was strange as no body was found, and if there was going to be a theft, then it wouldn't be of just one lamb.

Two weeks later, his silent neighbour, Peadar, of 30 years comes across the road, says hello and goes down to herd his cattle. Arrives back and approaches the victim of lamb theft. Asks him to put the entire thing behind them, as they are getting old and what happened, happened. News of this spread throughout the village. A famous grudge had ended.

They make some sort of peace, and eventually even got around to chatting in the weeks after that. It eventually got around to inviting the families to each others homes for dinner. All a bit forced, but that's the way things panned out. Peadar's family were invited to Joe's first. Had a lovely dinner by all accounts if the story is to be believed. After Mass the following Saturday evening was agreed for the week after.

They arrived into Peadar's after Mass. Headed into the kitchen. What was for dinner? Two big succulent legs of East Galway lamb. Despite Peadar never keeping a lamb in his life. By all account they ate in stony silence.

I call shenanigans on this. In the country you don't invite people around for dinner, drinks maybe, but not a dinner. And you sure as hell don't have a full dinner after a Saturday evening Mass. Tay and sandwiches, yes. But not a full dinner.

whisky_galore

lollsangel wrote: »

Where in tipp was this?

Dundrum.

Means Of Escape

Give Eddie Lenihan a buzz
Master story teller of rural legends.

Mountainsandh

I live near Petticoat Loose territory.

She was a tall, strong woman, fond of drink and dances. One day as she was dancing her petticoat caught on a nail and was torn off , but she kept on dancing. She pretty much shocked the parishioners in her youth. She married, but it was rumoured she had an affair with a local schoolmaster, and her husband vanished around the time of that rumour, leading to more rumours of murder. She drank too much, was fond of a fight, and played cards with men. It was rumoured she was a witch, and people were afraid of her.

One night she was playing cards and drinking to excess with local men, she slumped over the table and died, from an excess of alcohol.

The priest wasn't called that night, and she was buried in the absence of a priest too.

Some years later, people started seeing Petticoat Loose at night, around country lanes, outside dance halls, in fields on the side of the road... She frightened cart horses and people alike, she terrified the locals, so much so that a priest was called to "exorcise" a particular spot on a dark country lane where she was often seen.

He did see her and threw holy water at her, and banished her to stay at the bottom of Bay Lough, a very deep glacial lake at The Vee, in the Knockmealdowns.

Some say she was told she could only get out once she'd emptied the lake with a thimble, others that her punishment was to make a sudan rope out of the weeds in the lake to pull herself up. She hasn't been seen since, but it is said that she pulled the legs of swimmers in the lake who drowned there.

I can't help but look out for her on the dark country roads at night here.

http://www.clogheen.net/petticoat-loose/

buried

kylith wrote: »

Are there any women in the area who may have a white dress/skirt and top that they may occasionally wear?

Maybe, but 50 years ago. I dunno. Unless they stumbled out of a time machine from the future. That's actually a true story, well, true as in I was told the same story from different generations, 50 years ago people were seeing the "virgin mary" and nowadays people are seeing "the ghost of a white lady", in the exact same area down the road from me. I haven't seen anything.

Capt'n Midnight

The_Valeyard wrote: »

The Ghost Tractor that plows the fields during a full moon, cursing the land with a bad crop as it silently travels from field to field.

And then there's the weretractor.

If you ever find yourself driving behind a tractor during a full moon beware.
Without warning it could turn into a field.

kylith

buried wrote: »

Round my way out here in my community there are two old ladies convinced they seen the vision of the "virgin mary" in the fields years ago and three younger people convinced they seen the ghost of a "white lady" in the same fields in more recent years. There is also a local public house out here with very lax regulations as to its closing hour for many a years now

Are there any women in the area who may have a white dress/skirt and top that they may occasionally wear?

buried

Round my way out here in my community there are two old ladies convinced they seen the vision of the "virgin mary" in the fields years ago and three younger people convinced they seen the ghost of a "white lady" in the same fields in more recent years. There is also a local public house out here with very lax regulations as to its closing hour for many a years now

The Backwards Man

keith16 wrote: »

I am not sure if this is the right place, but anyway.

Spent a weekend in Kerry a few years ago. Really small village on the coast with a beautiful beach.

Anyway, the Saturday night was a bit of a celebration and I ended up over-doing it as usual.

Went for a walk on the beach with the wife to 'blow out the cobwebs' on the Sunday morning. On the way back we stopped in the local Spar / Centra / Homestead / can't remember. You know the one.

Got a bottle of Lucozade to help with the hangover and the OH fancied a yoghurt. Went to pay and the local fella who owned the shop produced a bottle of what appeared to be vodka.

"Have a thaaste of that boy"

Me: "Is that vodka"

HIM: "No. Have a snhifff" as he poured me a capful

Me: "What is it"?

HIM: "ara you haven't a clue"

Me: "Is that potin?"

HIM: *Gives me a knowing grin

Me: "Sorry, I am driving later"

HIM: *Very Angry Now - "ARA, T'WONT affect YA"

Me: *Drinks from lid

Wife: "Excuse me, this yoghurt is out of date"

HIM: *Extrememly angry now "ara fcuk off, it won't kill ya"

*We leave hurridly

A Kerryman giving something away?:pac:

keith16

I am not sure if this is the right place, but anyway.

Spent a weekend in Kerry a few years ago. Really small village on the coast with a beautiful beach.

Anyway, the Saturday night was a bit of a celebration and I ended up over-doing it as usual.

Went for a walk on the beach with the wife to 'blow out the cobwebs' on the Sunday morning. On the way back we stopped in the local Spar / Centra / Homestead / can't remember. You know the one.

Got a bottle of Lucozade to help with the hangover and the OH fancied a yoghurt. Went to pay and the local fella who owned the shop produced a bottle of what appeared to be vodka.

"Have a thaaste of that boy"

Me: "Is that vodka"

HIM: "No. Have a snhifff" as he poured me a capful

Me: "What is it"?

HIM: "ara you haven't a clue"

Me: "Is that potin?"

HIM: *Gives me a knowing grin

Me: "Sorry, I am driving later"

HIM: *Very Angry Now - "ARA, T'WONT affect YA"

Me: *Drinks from lid

Wife: "Excuse me, this yoghurt is out of date"

HIM: *Extrememly angry now "ara fcuk off, it won't kill ya"

*We leave hurridly

The Backwards Man

I knew a fella that was attacked by a badger.

He's a climatologist now.

Whispered

On the badger thing; apparently years ago, men out hunting would walk with a twig down their boots. If they were attacked by a badger, it would bite their ankle, hear the twig breaking, think it had broken a bone and be happy enough to wander off.

Probably giving the badger a bit too much credit there.

lollsangel

whisky_galore wrote: »

Re lakes and 'monsters' there were a couple here that supposedly harboured a 'Nessie' a la Loch Ness and attempts were made at capturing the beasties.
http://www.bcscc.ca/blog/?p=52

Another one I heard of was at a railway station in Co Tipperary. Apparantly, the stationmaster's family had a deformed child, so they locked him away during the day and only left him out at night when the neighbours wouldn't see him. One night he got out on the tracks and got hit by the mail train, and ever afterwards rail workers were reluctant to work nights in the signal cabin lest they catch a glimpse of a face peering in through the windows at them.

Where in tipp was this?

kylith

whisky_galore wrote: »

Which says a lot about what's wrong with this country. Sneaking regard for the stroke-puller, despite the fact that he's robbing from all of us.

We always have had a soft spot for a rogue though, just look at the way a murderer is celebrated in The Playboy of the Western World. I think it a bit of the Viking in us, worshipping Loki (the trickster god, not Tom Hiddleston).

No-one's condoning what this thieving farmer did, just admiring his intelligence in committing his crimes.

PopePalpatine

I heard this story of an uppity yuppie emigrant returning to his family for a bit of recuperation. Himself and the brother weren't exactly the best of friends. The yuppie, jealous of the brother's simple pleasures like weed, decided he would teach him a lesson, and burned €250 of his weed. The yuppie smugly told the brother he had destroyed his weed, and expected the brother to pay a further €250.

The brother had his revenge by hiding his yuppie brother's stash of cocaine in the glove box of his rental car.

Jamsiek

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

That's supposedly true. I looked it up there and it's attributed to a former Wicklow County Councillor named Jimmy Miley.

The name of the TV show in the 90s called "Don't feed the Gondolas" was based on that story.

Jamsiek

suicide_circus wrote: »

I heard this story about this lad from galway who ratted out his own brother for toking a spliff

I heard he burned his entire stash but nobody would do anything so bad so it's hard to believe. What do you think Aongus?

Jen Pigs Fly

_Brian wrote: »

Actually AI & "the bull man" are different.
The bull man, which are pretty much gone now, was some guy who owned a top quality bull, when you had a cow in heat you could ring him, and he would bring his bull to your farm and the cow and bull would make happy-happy and baby calves resulted..

The AI man fulfills a similar function but no bull is made happy.

Incidentally, the last "bull man" I remember here locally was gored to death by the bull, occupational hazard I suppose, something the AI man doesn't worry about I suppose.

Ai man has to get the samples though :pac:
I'd rather leave it to the bull than attempt that!

_Brian

galljga1 wrote: »

Either that or artificial insemination: the bull man.

Actually AI & "the bull man" are different.
The bull man, which are pretty much gone now, was some guy who owned a top quality bull, when you had a cow in heat you could ring him, and he would bring his bull to your farm and the cow and bull would make happy-happy and baby calves resulted..

The AI man fulfills a similar function but no bull is made happy.

Incidentally, the last "bull man" I remember here locally was gored to death by the bull, occupational hazard I suppose, something the AI man doesn't worry about I suppose.