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Going to Prison.

kneemos

Surely a few ex cons here,so any tips for a novice inmate?
Do's and dont's of the prison world . I'm assuming beating up the biggest guy on the block will get you tenderised or worse.

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seamus

godtabh wrote: »

I assume the thread was in Personal Issues as it isnt coming up in search

Here we go:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054910611

Edgarfrndly

Everything I needed to know about prison, I learned from this scene.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86xNR0zQkuQ

Oh, also - there's the courtesy flush.

Naos

When taking a crap, take one foot fully out of your trousers & jocks.

walkingshadow

I heard that in prison they pee in a cup and throw it on you.

OldGoat

The prison officer thread is well worth a read.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057333310

harry Bailey esq

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

That's the best part, they genuinely seem to be able to rehabilitate inmates and make them capable of integrating into society better than they ever could've before entering prison

Spot on about norway,a spanish friend of mine is currently serving 9 years over there for drug traffiking.They use a trust system there.Hes three years into it now and leaves the prison 5 days a week,essentially a free man,and travels into oslo,unaccompanied on public transport where he teaches Spanish and German in a centre for recovering addicts. Proper day release is frequent,indeed he often jokes that he gets more action from the wife than he was before he was locked up!

Jesus Wept

Hope if I do a crime, I go to a jail in Norway. :P

SummerSummit

The Rodgers wrote: »

And the lowest risidism rates

That is wrong. They have the same if not higher recidivism rate then the rest of the developed world.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=95463948&postcount=83

http://www.ssb.no/en/forskning/discussion-papers/_attachment/166596?_ts=14496f98d88

harry Bailey esq

The Rodgers wrote: »

Hope if I do a crime, I go to a jail in Norway. :P

I hope if I do a crime,I don't get caught

PandaPoo

Naos wrote: »

When taking a crap, take one foot fully out of your trousers & jocks.

I don't get it...

SummerSummit

PandaPoo wrote: »

I don't get it...

So your trousers aren't trapped around your ankles.

folamh

I think that the creators of the Wire should make a show about a former inmate who has spent 20+ years inside and now faces a world that's vastly different to the one they knew before they went to prison. They explored this with Cutty's character, but the theme has enough meat for its own show imo.

Bongalongherb

If its in mountjoy then you will still have to slop-out. You will more than likely have to share a cell with 2/3 other prisoners as well as the place is so overcrowded. The dinners are really nice though, breakfast/lunch/dinner and tea/supper. Keep to yourself and you should be fine.

Trying to sleep at night can be a pain in the arse (pun intended) as your room-mate masturbates in the bed beside you, just pretend you are asleep and it will be over fairly quickly.

corner of hells

Get a borstal spot tattooed on your face and slice yourself from ear to mouth , that type of scar impresses everyone.Maybe do it in the exercise yard or in front of the governor.

[Deleted User]

Bongalongherb wrote: »

If its in mountjoy then you will still have to slop-out. You will more than likely have to share a cell with 2/3 other prisoners as well as the place is so overcrowded. The dinners are really nice though, breakfast/lunch/dinner and tea/supper. Keep to yourself and you should be fine.

Trying to sleep at night can be a pain in the arse (pun intended) as your room-mate masturbates in the bed beside you, just pretend you are asleep and it will be over fairly quickly.

Untrue. It's all single cell accommodation now and every cell has its own toilet and running water.

Pac1Man

Ok I'll ask it so.

What did you do?

kneemos

Pac1Man wrote: »

Ok I'll ask it so.

What did you do?

Innocent mate.

markc2951

I knew a lad who done 2 years for assault with a baseball bat.hes a very quiet chap just a mad man with drink.

Anyhow he was in wheatfield and made a laugh of disabled prisoner little did he know the disabled guy was good friends with the 'heavys' of that cell block and word got out that he was going to be stabbed while on some landing by this gangster

He ended up apologising and a lot of sobbing and all was forgiven.

corner of hells

kneemos wrote: »

Innocent mate.

Thats what they all say , everyone inside is innocent.

ianuss

Into The Blue wrote: »

Keep yourself to yourself.
Never have more than 2 smokes on you. Don't accept favors or lends off anyone.
Try not to be last out of a room.
If you see all the prison officers leaving an area at the same time, be on the look out.

Why would you not want to be the last to leave a room?

Bongalongherb

Omackeral wrote: »

Untrue. It's all single cell accommodation now and every cell has its own toilet and running water.

There are still parts of mountjoy that still have slopping out. From a seriously overcrowded prison, all of a sudden every single prisoner has their own cell, I'd seriously doubt that is the case.

[Deleted User]

Bongalongherb wrote: »

There are still parts of mountjoy that still have slopping out. From a seriously overcrowded prison, all of a sudden every single prisoner has their own cell, I'd seriously doubt that is the case.

There's no slopping out whatsoever anymore. And yes, it's all single cells despite your doubts.

Trojan Donkey

Digital Solitude wrote: »

Don't drop the soap

Gmaximum wrote: »

Don't drop the soap

Both at the exact same time.

I assume both of you have been in that situation together?

corner of hells

Bongalongherb wrote: »

There are still parts of mountjoy that still have slopping out. From a seriously overcrowded prison, all of a sudden every single prisoner has their own cell, I'd seriously doubt that is the case.

I just have a feeling that Mr. Omackeral might have a little "inside" information .

Wanderer78

be very wary of snooker cues and people holding snooker cues!

Trojan Donkey

kneemos wrote: »

Innocent mate.

Innocent or not, you're going to prison for a reason. What is that reason?

cloud493

There was that thread a little while ago about the woman who spent the day in the dochas centre.

Bongalongherb

Omackeral wrote: »

There's no slopping out whatsoever anymore. And yes, it's all single cells despite your doubts.

Well if that's the case then I'm impressed with how fast they implemented this. Sounds a hell of a lot better than having to share a double cell with 3 other prisoners. Good stuff.

[Deleted User]

Bongalongherb wrote: »

Well if that's the case then I'm impressed with how fast they implemented this. Sounds a hell of a lot better than having to share a double cell with 3 other prisoners. Good stuff.

Absolutely. I know there's bad people in there and all but making people go to the toilet in a bucket with two or three lads in the same room as you is filth. Should have never been allowed in this century or the last.

Bongalongherb

Omackeral wrote: »

Absolutely. I know there's bad people in there and all but making people go to the toilet in a bucket with two or three lads in the same room as you is filth. Should have never been allowed in this century or the last.

That was an annoyance for sure back when I was in there only for a week on remand. I just banged the cell door for the guard and just asked could I use the bathroom, and they allowed me to leave the cell after the 3rd day to use it.

Well with every prisoner having their own cell now, it will surely ease the narkyness of most prisoners and less arguments/fights.