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Child Item

Still living with the Mammy

Mister Vain

With rent prices going up, is there still as much stigma with living at home? Adults living with their parents often get a hard time. I came across this article; its a few years old granted but is sums up the mentality of a lot of people:

What are you playing at? You get one life and you're living it in your parents' house, as a strangely tall child, presumably with secondary sexual characteristics.

I've always believed that people should have one of those things that start with a birth, end with a death and have lots of stuff going on in the middle. You know, a life.

Bar exceptional circumstances, this level of over-parenting is approaching child abuse.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/jun/03/barbara-ellen-kick-out-stay-at-home-kids

This idea that someone still living at home doesn't have a life or is still a child is a bit ridiculous. Terms like "Mammy's boy" and "mollycoddled" are insulting. Yes some people are just lazy and I have seen examples of over parenting too, but not everyone's circumstances are the same. Some people just can't afford it. You wouldn't be as quick to insult someone who is in debt or has mortgage arrears.

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keithclancy

Mister Vain wrote: »

Just going back to this bit actually. My folks live in the sticks. Going out to meet women usually involved heading into town, (which is a fair distance away.) If I was to meet a woman who was up for a bit of hanky panky, then getting a taxi all the way back to the bog for a shag was not really a viable option, regardless of whether or not I was living with the parents.

And that brings me back to the whole "secondary sexual characteristics." Yeah because everybody who has their own place is constantly riding. There's no such thing as a sexually inexperienced tenant.

Sexiest boards.ie post of 2015

swimming in a sea

Depends on the parents and the size of the house, terraced city house with only one TV room and a small kitchen, you can forget about it.

I remember spending the night with a girl in her late twenties, in what I thought was her place but in the morning I found out different as her mother had an extra place set for breakfast for me :eek:

This was in America but still it felt all a bit to liberal for me, I would have felt more comfortable been run out the front door with a shotgun than having her mother smiling across at me at the breakfast table.

If you have to live with parents or the in-laws then just don't be getting under their feet.

Andy-Pandy

I had to move home when I was 31. Combination of my mum having recently had a stroke and starting college again. It wasn't ideal and It had a serious affect on both my love life and confidence. It was a necessity though, I couldn't have gotten through those college years with out it.

[Deleted User]

I would have no problem living at home, in fact I hated moving out (at 24) and only did so as I was living too far from work to commute. We have a big house with loads of space and my parents love having the family around, in fact they regularly say how its a pity we (myself and my siblings) have to be out renting when we could be saving much more for our own houses. If I could have lived at home for the last 6 years the amount I would have saved on rent would be significant, add that on top of what was saved and the deposit is getting bigger and potential mortgage much smaller.

I never understood peoples rush to move out, suppose my parents were never bothered about what we did and never had the "where are you going" or "what time will you be back" etc etc carry on from them. I'd have no problem moving back in if I were to get a job near home either (30 now) and would quite enjoy being able to actually.

I think people moving out for the sake of it (i.e. renting when living close to home) are mad, its just throwing money away which could be saved towards buying. Never experienced any of the "can't believe your still living at home" stuff either. A lot of my friends never moved out and are only doing so now after getting married and building their own places.

readyletsgo

Matt_Trakker wrote: »

I think it's a bit sad when I hear of people still living at home.
Let go of the apron strings and man up.

Kinda hard too when you have no choice but to move back home at 31 to look after your slowly degrading Alzheimer's father for the next 6 to 10 years.

Man up yourself! Never make assumptions.

veryangryman

readyletsgo wrote: »

Kinda hard too when you have no choice but to move back home at 31 to look after your slowly degrading Alzheimer's father for the next 6 to 10 years.

Man up yourself! Never make assumptions.

I sympathise; however we all know countless examples of where the son/daughter is just being lazy/cheap. I have to say that the vast majority are this way.

c_man

Adelina Mango Granule wrote: »

A lot of my friends never moved out and are only doing so now after getting married and building their own places.

Jesus. What ages were they?

Mesrine65

Senna wrote: »

What about parents moving in with the kids.

I'm 50 & my 78 year old mother lives with me :eek:

Junkyard Tom

♫ My lovely Mayo mammy,
So gentle and so wise,
Rocking on your rocking chair,
Baking cakes and pies,
My lovely Mayo mammy,
My lovely lovely Mayo mam.♫

[Deleted User]

c_man wrote: »

Jesus. What ages were they?

Of the top of my head the couples were 29 and 27, both 28, and both 32. Only one of the 3 couples had actually moved into their own place before their wedding day (a week before hand) the other two only after the honeymoon. All inside the last year too.

[Deleted User]

Adelina Mango Granule wrote: »

A lot of my friends never moved out and are only doing so now after getting married and building their own places.

I can't believe anyone would willingly marry an adult who's never taken care of themselves outside their parents home. Going straight from your parents house to a house you share with a spouse is a recipe for stunted personal growth.

[Deleted User]

Candie wrote: »

I can't believe anyone would willingly marry an adult who's never taken care of themselves outside their parents home. Going straight from your parents house to a house you share with a spouse is a recipe for stunted personal growth.

Not uncommon around me, neither the man or woman in the couples I mention above had lived out of home. I could find plenty of other examples of at least one if not both people not moving out until close to being if not married if I moved out from close friends to a wider net of people.

If I happened to have found long term work near home I wouldn't have moved out and possibly have ended up doing the same as above myself.

[Deleted User]

Adelina Mango Granule wrote: »

Not uncommon around me, neither the man or woman in the couples I mention above had lived out of home. I could find plenty of other examples of at least one if not both people not moving out until close to being if not married if I moved out from close friends to a wider net of people.

If I happened to have found long term work near home I doubt I would have moved out either and possibly I would have ended up doing the same myself.

That doesn't mean its good for a person, a marriage, or that its in any way a good idea.

[Deleted User]

Candie wrote: »

That doesn't mean its good for a person, a marriage, or that its in any way a good idea.

I don't think its makes any difference to the person as I don't agree with the whole "you have to move out as soon as you reach a certain age" nonsense.

I agree it would be nice to move in with the person you are going to going out with for a while before getting married, however it may not make financial sense to do so if a deposit is being saved or a house being bought/built.

[Deleted User]

Adelina Mango Granule wrote: »

I don't think its makes any difference to the person as I don't agree with the whole "you have to move out as soon as you reach a certain age" nonsense.

It would be nice to move in with the person you are going to going out with for a while before getting married however it may not make financial sense.

I don't believe in an arbitrary age for moving out. I do believe that being independent and learning to live as an adult is an important life skill, and that people who go from one house to another without every experiencing it are missing out on an important facet of personal growth that matures a person and rounds them out.

Money shouldn't be the bottom line in all lifes important decisions.

kfallon

As long as you have a job and you are not dependent on your parents (or them dependent on you thru ill-health etc) then it's time to flee the nest!

Staying at home to avoid living costs or have your meals served up to you and washing done is not an admirable trait imo

[Deleted User]

I wouldn't be put off by a man living at home, I would be very put off by a man living at home making no effort to move forward with his life and move out.

kfallon

Candie wrote: »

I wouldn't be put off by a man living at home, I would be very put off by a man living at home making no effort to move forward with his life and move out.

I also think that me parents put in enough effort bringing me up that they deserve a break from me too :pac:

[Deleted User]

kfallon wrote: »

I also think that me parents put in enough effort bringing me up that they deserve a break from me too :pac:

And probably a medal as well.

kfallon

Candie wrote: »

And probably a medal as well.

Alright, alright....no need to put the boot in :mad:

:P

Spanish Eyes

It's not unusual in Europe at all.

In this article it says (amongst other stats) that 79% of Italian adults live with their parents. Yikes!

Interesting piece for anyone who is interested...

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/mar/24/dependent-generation-half-young-european-adults-live-parents

kfallon

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

In this article it says (amongst other stats) that 79% of Italian adults live with their parents. Yikes!

Be hard to give up them big Italian 'Mammy' meals in fairness

Spanish Eyes

kfallon wrote: »

Be hard to give up them big Italian 'Mammy' meals in fairness

In fairness, they could do what I do, and go home on a Sunday for the big lunch. Still love doing that.

kfallon

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

In fairness, they could do what I do, and go home on a Sunday for the big lunch. Still love doing that.

Sponger :P Hope you at least bring a dessert?

Spanish Eyes

kfallon wrote: »

Sponger :P Hope you at least bring a dessert?

I load the dishwasher. It kills me, but I do it as a thank you.

lickme

I pay 600 euro for a studio apartment in Dublin. I go back down to Waterford most weekends and stay with parents which annoys the absolute he'll out of me because there *****. All my friends are from Waterford and enjoy hanging around with them on the weekend.

Can I get a high paying job in Waterford and the simple answer is no So technically half living with the parents!

[Deleted User]

kfallon wrote: »

As long as you have a job and you are not dependent on your parents (or them dependent on you thru ill-health etc) then it's time to flee the nest!

I don't see why to be honest if the person is happy living at home. I know many have a different opinion (particularly in AH) but I dont really get why someone would move say 15 mins away to live in a houseshare with strangers or pay massive rent eating up their wages that could be being saved when they could live at home in a far nicer and more comfortable environment. As I said I had no choice in the matter as work was outside commuting distance but I didn't even dream of moving out during university and to be honest I don't think I would have moved out yet were I working close to home unless I'd bought a place.

I'm always on the look out for jobs near home and my intention would be to move back in home were I to get one until I was in a position to buy.

Also a high paying job and living at home is a ticket to buying a house with a very small or no mortgage so I would say a person living at home with a good job is being smart.

Roger_007

In view of the marriage referendum, is the title of this thread not a bit politically incorrect?

Hollister11

I'm 19 and still live with the folks. I love it cause i get on with them. I'm in college atm. But i would like to move out and move in with my mates after college.

[Deleted User]

Hollister11 wrote: »

I'm 19 and still live with the folks. I love it cause i get on with them. I'm in college atm. But i would like to move out and move in with my mates after college.

19 isn't a problem, especially when you're at college. It's more people mid 20's + who aren't making any effort to move out who suffer in terms of maturity from remaining at their parents house.