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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Jaafa

I saw my fair share of these before I deactivated my account.

One of the worst came from an american 'friend'(?) of mine.

She said and I quote:
"Ughhh so stupid...I have to get a visa to go to south america! I mean seriously isn't this the UNITED sates! Ahhhhh....Worst state ever!"

She was promptly removed from my friends list.

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internet of cats

hope ur ok hun

mail xoxo

Comments

crybaby

podgemonster wrote: »

Not Facebook but I got a Snapchat from my 25 year old cousin who only months ago had the whole family worried with an illness.
d:

Good example of a particularly Irish trait - if you are ill it is YOUR fault and don't be worrying your mammy about it.

skirtgirl

"Any 1 wanna buy brand new ghd curve wand never used in box psm only price ngotible can meet wit it xxx"
This lady is full time posting phones etc for sale. I always wonder where she got the property in the 1st place. I'm not friends with her. Just nose on her page. Because it's open to the public.

thesandeman

Mallagio wrote: »

"Old people at weddings always poke me n say "You're Next". So I started doing the same to them at funerals...."

:D:D

I quite like that one.

gossipgirl10

ratmouse wrote: »

Saw a post where a girl was saying she loved her new high waisted denim pance! Seriously, wtf?! How could a person get a spelling so wrong??

On a similar note I know of someone who owns her own clothes shop and would consider herself to be quite the fashionista and she repeatedly posts on facebook about the "new sequence dresses and tops" that are now in store. The word is SEQUIN :rolleyes:

ratmouse

gossipgirl10 wrote: »

On a similar note I know of someone who owns her own clothes shop and would consider herself to be quite the fashionista and she repeatedly posts on facebook about the "new sequence dresses and tops" that are now in store. The word is SEQUIN :rolleyes:

Unless of course it is some magical sequence dress, that evolves in stages or patterns, etc. You never know!

Georgie13

I know a girl who writes stuff like this all the time: "Sum people are Jus stuck up basterds I swear" followed by someone asking her to elaborate, to which she says: "Na I dnt want to tell da world everything I'm on about sumone but dnt want to Explane to much ha xx"

Another one from her: "U childish fool u Jus showed ur true colours

"

She also has "works at: full time yummy mummy xx" on her profile (she's 22 and has 3 kids) and she's forever writing things to the kids, you know like "get Wel soon to my baby boys mammy luvs u xxx"

I'll never understand why people write facebook messages to their babies and children, or to someone who's died?

kunst nugget

Georgie13 wrote: »

I'll never understand why people write facebook messages to their babies and children, or to someone who's died?

Because everyone knows that God reads your newsfeed and if you don't show how great you are by talking about your kids instead of actually talking to them or showing how saintly you are to remember your deceased loved one at the appropriate designated day for showering love on them then that sh¡t gets you 10-15 more years in limbo. Everyone knows that.

Un Croissant

Do everything for the ****ing girl and throws it back in me face sound yeah

U ok lad?

Nib

"It's my birthday today n facebook forgot some of my family remembered my daughters n son n 2 brothers out of seven n one sister out of three n my mum also remembers with a prompt i dunno anymor"

First comment: (her 15 year old nephew) "Happy birthday. Here's a few commas. ,,,,,"

dee_mc

Nib wrote: »

"It's my birthday today n facebook forgot some of my family remembered my daughters n son n 2 brothers out of seven n one sister out of three n my mum also remembers with a prompt i dunno anymor"

First comment: (her 15 year old nephew) "Happy birthday. Here's a few commas. ,,,,,"

He'll go far in life!

efb

ratmouse wrote: »

Unless of course it is some magical sequence dress, that evolves in stages or patterns, etc. You never know!

Its yellow and white, now its black and blue!

Mallagio

Another gem from an American account..... Again, no words.

"Say what you want about Lance Armstrong..... but being the first man to walk on the moon..... is an amazing achievement......they can never take that away from him!"

fussyonion

"This is not a frape, even though you'll all think it is, but I am beyond sick of tired of keeping this to myself. Does anyone out there know of any remedies for chronic constipation?

I haven't gone to the toilet in two weeks. Well, I have but nothing to write home about, just hard lumps. It's bringing me down something terrible and I'm feeling bloated and stressed. I'm crouching on the toilet pushing as if I'm giving birth and nothing. Sick of it. Any solutions anyone? And don't say Dulcolax, they wouldn't get a pea out of a pea-shooter."

She got eight likes and a few choice comments:

"I hear ya hun, nothing worse. Try that liquid stuff you get in bottles."
"Oh darling that's not a laughing matter. See your doc asap."
"Few Guinness and a Vindaloo. Be grand."

Trebor176

fussyonion wrote: »

Does anyone out there know of any remedies for chronic constipation?

Yes, stop sharing that sort of thing on Facebook and see a feckin' doctor.

fussyonion

Trebor176 wrote: »

Yes, stop sharing that sort of thing on Facebook and see a feckin' doctor.

Tell me about it. Between her and another who "checks in" at The Coombe every few months to get her "lady bits and bobs" checked out...Facebook is a constant source of both amusement and horror for me.

coolhull

fussyonion wrote: »

"This is not a frape, even though you'll all think it is, but I am beyond sick of tired of keeping this to myself. Does anyone out there know of any remedies for chronic constipation?

I haven't gone to the toilet in two weeks. Well, I have but nothing to write home about, just hard lumps. It's bringing me down something terrible and I'm feeling bloated and stressed. I'm crouching on the toilet pushing as if I'm giving birth and nothing. Sick of it. Any solutions anyone? And don't say Dulcolax, they wouldn't get a pea out of a pea-shooter."

She got eight likes and a few choice comments:

"I hear ya hun, nothing worse. Try that liquid stuff you get in bottles."
"Oh darling that's not a laughing matter. See your doc asap."
"Few Guinness and a Vindaloo. Be grand."

Well this is unusual. Most people spew all sorts of sh*te on facebook. This one cant spew any sh*te at all :rolleyes:

fussyonion

coolhull wrote: »

Well this is unusual. Most people spew all sorts of sh*te on facebook. This one cant spew any sh*te at all :rolleyes:

:pac::pac:

Mallagio

Rachel from some part of the US&A .....

"How come water at the bottom of the Earth,at the south pole,doesn't fall off the Earth & go into space??"

sammyjo90

Happy birthday to my little princess, 1 today. Where has that year gone. Xx

I really want to write something like "link me to her profile! I never knew she was on FB!:eek:"

Mallagio

coolhull wrote: »

Well this is unusual. Most people spew all sorts of sh*te on facebook. This one cant spew any sh*te at all :rolleyes:

Brilliant

:D:D

Axel Lamp

bought me self a cook book now gonna start doin wat i love an start bakin alot more goin ta try everything in de book an give it a good shot

had de mad nephew thomas in ah god he is some child serious little man e hadd me in stitches laughtin at em

tym ta hit de hay long day ahead a me 2m

Spelling, grammar and any semblance of a sentence structure are clearly overrated.

ziggy23

Jealous much?

Rosie Rant

ziggy23 wrote: »

Jealous much?

What an ar$ehole!

ziggy23

Rosie Rant wrote: »

What an ar$ehole!

Yes this is the same person who posts every night about what takeaway she is ordering. If she doesn't want to lose weight that's her decision but it pisses me off that she puts other people down that are!

fussyonion

There's a girl on my FB who reminds me of Hope Ur Ok Hun because she's always posting pictures of takeaways.
They're all vile looking MSG-laden dull sludge-like curries and chicken balls, with sloppy looking rice and unidentifiable meat. She posts these pictures as if by some chance we'll all be jealous.
I don't think so.

Vicxas

"Anyone selling Tabacco, im in Kells"

Clearly never heard of shops in Kells....

fussyonion

Vicxas wrote: »

"Anyone selling Tabacco, im in Kells"

Clearly never heard of shops in Kells....

Reminds of me of another person on my Facebook who's always asking people where she can get certain things or what time certain shops open til, instead of Googling.

E.G:
"Anyone know where I can get a bucket and spade?"
"Anyone know what tym* Dundrum Shopping Centre is open til?"

GOOGLE IT. JESUS IT'D BE QUICKER.
*And there's that lovely use of the word "tym".

MonkstownHoop

fussyonion wrote: »

Reminds of me of another person on my Facebook who's always asking people where she can get certain things or what time certain shops open til, instead of Googling.

E.G:
"Anyone know where I can get a bucket and spade?"
"Anyone know what tym* Dundrum Shopping Centre is open til?"

GOOGLE IT. JESUS IT'D BE QUICKER.
*And there's that lovely use of the word "tym".

Every week without fail I see the same fella asking what matches are on the telly this weekend?

sligojoek

What time is the nine o clock news on?

MrVestek

sligojoek wrote: »

What time is the nine o clock news on?

Quarter past 10.