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Child Item

Sleepwalking to the toilet while Drunk

DulchieLaois

Hi,

I have a tendancy to sleepwalk when drunk, especially if i want to go to the toilet.

My poor wife keeps waking up and having to guide me to the toilets which is not funny anymore as I can literally go anywhere in the house

any advice please besides drinking less

Thanks

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kneemos

Don't drink at all.

Mesrine65

http://bedwettingstore.com/bedwettingalarms.html?utm_expid=222473-8.0S8Az64LQFGl8aoQG8pSdQ.1&utm_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.ie%2F

Menas

Don't drink for an hour before going to bed. Have a lash before you go to bed?

You are welcome!

Renegade Mechanic

An air horn to wake you up from a distance?

The Backwards Man

If you're drinking is inconveniencing someone else it's a no brainer, like it or not.

Drink less

libelula

In fairness, if drink is making you act the maggot to the point that your wife has to guide you around like a three year old...it's probably time to stop getting pissed tbh.

Generic Dreadhead

There has never been a more fitting thread to say one of those recently banned comments about urine :P

Kevin McCloud

Wear a nappy, alot of adults wear them. Its a fetish sort of thing.

kneemos

Hope you have some positive attributes.

sbsquarepants

Divorce then find a more understanding wife?
Or if you're fond of the one you have, introduce her to watersports. Tell her it's some crappy book or other - chicks love that shít.

Pumpkinseeds

Your wife is either a saint or a fool for putting up with it tbh. Honestly, man up and stop getting drunk.

Renegade Mechanic

Cormac... wrote: »

There has never been a more fitting thread to say one of those recently banned comments about urine :P

It's too perfect. I can't..

BLAST HER WITH PISS, OP!!!!!!

Avenge meeeeeeeee!!!

Nodin

DulchieLaois wrote: »

Hi,

I have a tendancy to sleepwalk when drunk, especially if i want to go to the toilet.

My poor wife keeps waking up and having to guide me to the toilets which is not funny anymore as I can literally go anywhere in the house

any advice please besides drinking less

Thanks

John

As I've heard of two people just pissing from where they stood (living room, standing on bed) I'd say you haven't the worst problem in the world, if that's any consolation.

chakotha

Drink vin not beer.

[Deleted User]

The only solution is drink less OP!

Generic Dreadhead

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Avenge meeeeeeeee!!!

I genuinely had a loud laugh at this! :pac:

Gran Hermano

Rig up an electric fence to ward you away from the wardrobes and towards the en suite.

DulchieLaois

some good laughs , thanks guys !!

what is worse, is that i drank less, wasnt seriously drunk and in fact, went to the toilet for a good 20 minutes before going to bed, just to ensure, i dont have to bother her.

yet all failed !!!

and re drinking, tis down a lot from what i was wild rover in my younger days

BMJD

Drink more obviously, the problem only arises when you stop drinking and start sleeping.

Valetta

Would it help if you didn't have a wife?

Come back shortly and let us know.

Nino Brown

Tell your wife to rub your nose in it and put you outside, you won't be long about learning!

Dramatik

A clothes peg should sort it. If that fails try purchasing a garden hose from your local DIY, attach it and leave the other end sitting in the toilet bowl.

SEPT 23 1989

get the wife to put an adult nappy on you

WoollyRedHat

Sleep in the bath?

tmh106

Wow, what a helpful bunch

tmh

harry Bailey esq

DulchieLaois wrote: »

Hi,

I have a tendancy to sleepwalk when drunk, especially if i want to go to the toilet.

My poor wife keeps waking up and having to guide me to the toilets which is not funny anymore as I can literally go anywhere in the house

any advice please besides drinking less

Thanks

John

Zopiclone

harry Bailey esq

Dramatik wrote: »

A clothes peg should sort it. If that fails try purchasing a garden hose from your local DIY, attach it and leave the other end sitting in the toilet bowl.

Sterling advice.

iMac_Hunt

I'm in the same boat!!

I was at a stag last weekend and locked myself out of the hotel room. I had to walk to reception in my underpants in order to get a key to get back into the room.

Not my proudest moment!!!!

Stone Deaf 4evr

DulchieLaois wrote: »

some good laughs , thanks guys !!

what is worse, is that i drank less, wasnt seriously drunk and in fact, went to the toilet for a good 20 minutes before going to bed, just to ensure, i dont have to bother her.

yet all failed !!!

and re drinking, tis down a lot from what i was wild rover in my younger days

20 mins? :eek: is it number 1's or number 2's that are causing the bother?

it kinda reminds me of the joke about the guy who was fond of the beer,came home an passes out,then woke up only to find himself reincarnated as a chicken. goes about his business on the farmyard and feels and urge coming on him. panicked, he asks the other chickens whats up, and they explain its an egg, to relax and gently push.

next thing he knows all he's hearing is "john, john, you dirty cnut, wake up!, you're sh1tting the bed!"

Rosie Rant

Stop drinking. Give your wife a medal.