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People who hire hookers?

yumyum10

Friend hires one a week. Says its cheaper than a girlfriend and isn't tied down. What's your views on people who hire them?

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LDN_Irish

galljga1 wrote: »

Escort Ireland: bit of an eye opener to me. The nearest one to me is in Kilcock. Not exactly a great place for an escort to set up camp.

Maybe she services the local masochists.

[Deleted User]

The Corinthian wrote: »

No one has closed off the possibility of love. If someone is in a relationship, then love is more than likely a large part of it (extreme cynicism aside). They will take care of the other person for love, not because family law says they have to.

What is closed off is the myth of happily ever after. People fall out of love, even though they once were in it.

It is not naive to believe in love. It is naive to believe it will always last forever.

I don't believe love will always last for ever but how you view relationships in general before you enter a commitment relationship will have a big impact, to know and be aware of that means examining how someone's experience's have formed them.

The Corinthian

mariaalice wrote: »

I don't believe love will always last for ever but how you view relationships in general before you enter a commitment relationship will have a big impact, to know and be aware of that means examining how someone's experience's have formed them.

Well, if you enter knowing that you'll likely be on the short end of the stick should it fail, I expect it will affect how you see it very differently to someone entering knowing that you'll likely be end up doing well out of it.

You're right, if you're the latter I can see the benefit in throwing yourself in 110%.

kuntboy

The Corinthian wrote: »

And it's getting worse which is why some countries are introducing cohabitation laws that force people into a form of that legally binding situation once they've been living together long enough. So men are increasingly opting out.

And men are increasingly opting out of even living with a woman, lest that be defined in court as de-facto marriage. In fact in some countries the determination of what is "de-facto" is merely at the judges whim, you don't even have to live with the woman. If you so much as stay over at her place a few nights a week, or show any pattern of behaviour with her, that can be used against you in court. The notion that someone can, aided and abetted by the government, take >50% of your assets and future earnings by merely knowing you is chilling.

LDN_Irish

Genuine question, do we not have prenuptial agreements here in Ireland? I'm not very clued up on marriage law.

LDN_Irish

Never mind, I remembered how to do the googles. Dunno what you lads are moaning about, just get a prenup.*

*Which will turn out worthless if you actually divorce. Still can't quite work out why.

The Corinthian

kuntboy wrote: »

And men are increasingly opting out of even living with a woman, lest that be defined in court as de-facto marriage.

Well, that was inevitable with the introduction of the cohabitation act in Ireland.

In fact in some countries the determination of what is "de-facto" is merely at the judges whim, you don't even have to live with the woman. If you so much as stay over at her place a few nights a week, or show any pattern of behaviour with her, that can be used against you in court.

You might be talking about Australia. The law there is so draconian that it's apparently caused problems for students even looking to share accommodation for longer than a year.

LDN_Irish wrote: »

Genuine question, do we not have prenuptial agreements here in Ireland? I'm not very clued up on marriage law.

Basically no, they're not recognized. They've been talking about recognizing them for a while now, but it's unsurprisingly not a priority.

Even if they were it should be noted that they'd likely not be binding and could be ruled null and void "in exceptional circumstances, where its enforceability would cause serious injustice" (i.e. whatever a judge fancies on the day) as is with the 'opt-out' contracts existing for cohabiting couples.

Tony EH

LDN_Irish wrote: »

Never mind, I remembered how to do the googles. Dunno what you lads are moaning about, just get a prenup.*

*Which will turn out worthless if you actually divorce. Still can't quite work out why.

So, in the space of half an hour, you answered your own question and also found out why they're rubbish.

Pre nups aren't worth the money it takes to get a lawyer to write one up. They're thrown out of court in any divorce case.

TBH, it's a wonder why any man gets married at all, ever, given the horror stories one hears with divorce cases and it's all very hush, hush too. People know that men get shafted in divorce, regardless of who is at fault, but I don't think people are aware of just how bad it seems to be.

One thing is damn sure. If it was the other way round we'd never hear the end of it.

Playboy

Tony EH wrote: »

One thing is damn sure. If it was the other way round we'd never hear the end of it.

It would be a daily headline in the Guardian and the Independent and be evidence of terrible patriarchy at work.

*waits for someone to tell me that the law is currently as it is due to the patriarchy :rolleyes:

Roquentin

Tony EH wrote: »

So, in the space of half an hour, you answered your own question and also found out why they're rubbish.

Pre nups aren't worth the money it takes to get a lawyer to write one up. They're thrown out of court in any divorce case.

TBH, it's a wonder why any man gets married at all, ever, given the horror stories one hears with divorce cases and it's all very hush, hush too. People know that men get shafted in divorce, regardless of who is at fault, but I don't think people are aware of just how bad it seems to be.

One thing is damn sure. If it was the other way round we'd never hear the end of it.

there are social pressures to be in a relationship and get married. same with women. a lot of hidden stresses to get married/be in a relationship

retro:electro

"Cheaper than a girlfriend" = "I can't get a girlfriend"

conorhal

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

It would be more respectable if he paid for his sex in a less formal manner through provision of physical, financial and emotional protection and material goods.

Money disgusting, benefits in kind different story altogether.

- Society.

My problem with that is it reduces both a lover and a prostitude to a financial transaction, just like the OP's 'friend'. Neither is true and those that are that reductive in their definition of either relationship are probably emotional cripples, lying to themselves or sociopaths.

The Corinthian

conorhal wrote: »

My problem with that is it reduces both a lover and a prostitude to a financial transaction, just like the OP's 'friend'. Neither is true and those that are that reductive in their definition of either relationship are probably emotional cripples, lying to themselves or sociopaths.

Alternatively you could be an idiot for thinking the opposite. Equally valid viewpoint.

Seriously though, I'm not really calling you an idiot, but am pointing out that what you've done is essentially no less dismissive or insulting as doing so. Instead, have you asked yourself why you and some others are effectively turning to name-calling at the mere suggestion that there is some form of financial transaction?

Instead of turning around and suggesting that there is something wrong with someone who thinks this way, had you thought about why they might think this way without dismissing it out of hand? That perhaps modern relationships are becoming too materialistic, that it is increasingly difficult to have any kind of relationship without financial ties being foisted upon the parties involved? That many of these financial obligations don't even make sense in a World allegedly striving for equality? That it seems to affect one gender significantly more than the other? That for at least one of those parties relationships are looking less and less attractive? More and more dangerous?

Or would you prefer to continue ignoring the elephant in the middle of the room and just assume that those pointing to it must be some sort of heretical madmen?

BD45

riding_shotgun wrote: »

women nowadays are told that by society that what their man owns , they own , fleecing is actively encouraged and backed fully by the courts

Men are actually giving up on relationships. Can't blame them. Google the sexodous.

dark crystal

The Corinthian wrote: »

If out of ten people - five men and five women - who would previously have wanted to marry and start a family, two men elect not to, that leaves two women with no available husband-to-be.

Women will, and already are, inevitably losing out because the pool of men even willing to marry, let alone with them, has shrunk to well below the number needed to cater for the pool of women willing to marry. That is the growing reality.

The Corinthian wrote: »

But overall, as you can see from the above and the link from my previous post, marriage really does not look terribly attractive to men any more. I'll fully admit that the reverse was once true, but reform has been one-sided and this has resulted in an institution that men are increasingly opting out of.

BD45 wrote: »

Men are actually giving up on relationships. Can't blame them. Google the sexodous.

According to the last Irish census, there was actually a 10% rise in marriage since the previous census. Remarriage rose by 550% between 1996 and 2011, with divorced men two thirds more likely to remarry than divorced women.

Surely that refutes the fact that men are turning away from marriage and relationships? In fact, men are more likely than women to marry more than once!

Source: http://www.thejournal.ie/census-2011-cso-family-602199-Sep2012/

BD45

Many Irishmen haven't wised up to the divorce racket yet. They will.

nokia69

dark crystal wrote: »

Surely that refutes the fact that men are turning away from marriage and relationships? In fact, men are more likely than women to marry more than once!

but does that not mean that men that like getting married are taking up the slack of the men who are not bothered

riding_shotgun

BD45 wrote: »

Men are actually giving up on relationships. Can't blame them. Google the sexodous.

i live with my girlfriend but i seriously doubt i will ever ask her to marry me , her parents divorced when she was young and her mother got the house and my girlfriend often says its a disgrace that she didnt get any of his redundancy money too when he was let go from an old job , he married again

the sense of entitlement is rampant and my girlfriend is a decent person , like most women she is just conditioned into believing whats his is hers

riding_shotgun

BD45 wrote: »

Many Irishmen haven't wised up to the divorce racket yet. They will.

not a huge surprise , men are bombarded with propganda about who priveledged they are and how awful everything is for women , the media are totally complicit in this campaign

BD45

riding_shotgun wrote: »

i live with my girlfriend but i seriously doubt i will ever ask her to marry me , her parents divorced when she was young and her mother got the house and my girlfriend often says its a disgrace that she didnt get any of his redundancy money too when he was let go from an old job , he married again

the sense of entitlement is rampant and my girlfriend is a decent person , like most women she is just conditioned into believing whats his is hers

Same here. Have a great girlfriend but have to wonder if the risk of divorce makes marriage worth it.

Roquentin

anna080 wrote: »

"Cheaper than a girlfriend" = "I can't get a girlfriend"

in some cases but not all

Roquentin

BD45 wrote: »

Same here. Have a great girlfriend but have to wonder if the risk of divorce makes marriage worth it.

a farmer down in my area lost half his assets. big farm as well. one has to be careful i suppose

riding_shotgun

BD45 wrote: »

Same here. Have a great girlfriend but have to wonder if the risk of divorce makes marriage worth it.

not for me it isnt , i suspect if we split , id loose my house , ive another one million euro plus worth of property elsewhere so hopefully that would be beyond reach , id still have to provide income support however

dark crystal

BD45 wrote: »

Many Irishmen haven't wised up to the divorce racket yet. They will.

Well, they'd want to start wising up fast, as marriage numbers are as high as they ever were right now. You'd wonder why more men than women would then go on to remarry, given how awfully they were treated first time around, wouldn't you?

BD45

riding_shotgun wrote: »

not for me it isnt , i suspect if we split , id loose my house , ive another one million euro plus worth of property elsewhere so hopefully that would be beyond reach , id still have to provide income support however

Forgive me naivety, but why do you think you'd lose your house if you split?

riding_shotgun

Roquentin wrote: »

a farmer down in my area lost half his assets. big farm as well. one has to be careful i suppose

farmers have the most to loose

my sister is a solicitor and a staunch feminist , she earns her living helping women get as much as they can , she was raised on a farm ( like me ) but fully supports the idea of farms having to be sold so the woman can get her half

Roquentin

riding_shotgun wrote: »

farmers have the most to loose

my sister is a solicitor and a staunch feminist , she earns her living helping women get as much as they can , she was raised on a farm ( like me ) but fully supports the idea of farms having to be sold so the woman can get her half

what is sad is when an individual inherits the family business and ends up having to sell it to appease the other half.

riding_shotgun

BD45 wrote: »

Forgive me naivety, but why do you think you'd lose your house if you split?

because women can make up all sorts of lies in court in order to get what they want and the man can do little about it

if a split happens , the woman gets the house

dark crystal

riding_shotgun wrote: »

because women can make up all sorts of lies in court in order to get what they want and the man can do little about it

if a split happens , the woman gets the house

Lies such as....?

Roquentin

dark crystal wrote: »

Well, they'd want to start wising up fast, as marriage numbers are as high as they ever were right now. You'd wonder why more men than women would then go on to remarry, given how awfully they were treated first time around, wouldn't you?

Aldous Huxley — 'That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.'