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People who hire hookers?

yumyum10

Friend hires one a week. Says its cheaper than a girlfriend and isn't tied down. What's your views on people who hire them?

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Conall Cernach

I think I'd rather take matters in hand myself, so to speak, than have sex with someone who you knew wasn't into it and was only going through the motions.

Greenmachine

Whatever floats his boats. Perhaps he lacks in self-confidence to bother with the chase. He might do well to invest time and money, in himself, but really it is his own business. Provided of course, no one, is getting hurt.

Saipanne

I have a mate who's like that, but he always gets ugly to bland ones (he pops them up on whatsapp). I never understand why he does that.

Mallagio

If someone wants to pay for sex once a week, is not putting anyone at risk and not cheating.....

Good for them I say - you could be doing a lot worse with your life.

The Corinthian

yumyum10 wrote: »

Says its cheaper than a girlfriend and isn't tied down.

Why do you think people like Ivana Bacik are looking to criminalize it further?

What's your views on people who hire them?

Very common here, partially because it's completely legal and regulated and partially because marital relations here appear to be utterly dysfunctional - they marry, have sex long enough to push out two kids, then that's it. Husband then goes to a prostitute for the rest of his married life.

So a bit depressing, TBH.

LDN_Irish

Where are you Corinthian?

daheff

Conall Cernach wrote: »

I think I'd rather take matters in hand myself, so to speak, than have sex with someone who you knew wasn't into it and was only going through the motions.

what, like your wife :cool:

The Corinthian

LDN_Irish wrote: »

Where are you Corinthian?

Switzerland.

ancapailldorcha

The Corinthian wrote: »

Very common here, partially because it's completely legal and regulated and partially because marital relations here appear to be utterly dysfunctional - they marry, have sex long enough to push out two kids, then that's it. Husband then goes to a prostitute for the rest of his married life.

Are you being serious here? That's the definition of grim IMO.

daheff

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Are you being serious here? That's the definition of grim IMO.

google it...its not just Switzerland...its a fairly common thing.

The Corinthian

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Are you being serious here? That's the definition of grim IMO.

Yup. Happens elsewhere and you'll get threads on PI on a regular basis reflecting this, but it appears pretty endemic in Switzerland. You hear about it all the time.

I agree, pretty grim.

floggg

The Corinthian wrote: »

Why do you think people like Ivana Bacik are looking to criminalize it further?

Em, what?

floggg

I don't necessarily judge them for doing it as long as they are responsible John's, and aren't hiring vulnerable or coerced women (though that may be hard to establish given the criminal law treatment of prostitution and resulting lack of transparency).

However, I would really wonder what they can actually get from these exchanges. While I don't think sex necessarily needs an emotional connection, to me the physical connection and mutual attraction has always been a big part of sex.

Honestly, if I thought my partner was just going through the motions and pretending to be into it and into me, I just wouldn't see the point.

Also, anybody who says it's cheaper than a relationship has a pretty ****ed up view of relationships, and may also be the type to let themselves be walked all over when in one.

If your relationship is costing you significantly, then its only your self to blame - it's likely some combination of choosing the wrong type of person to be with, lacking enough self respect to ensure equality in the relationship, or wanting to cling to stereotyped and out dated gender/relationship roles even though it's to your own detriment.

mylefttesticle

Icaras wrote: »

Once a week! It's not a case of if, but when he catches something nasty, but that's his business.

My opinion is It will mess up his concept of what a real relationship is about and if it's common knowledge I can't see many girls wanting to date him.

As a male I'd prefer my girlfriend to have had casual sex with 100 people than see one prostitute 100 times.

I remember reading an article in which it stated that you are more likely to get an std from a ons on than you are from a prostitute.

On topic! Who cares its just sex, once everyone is doing what they are doing with freewill then its just a service like getting your boiler serviced.

Sex in a lot of marriages after a certain point work in quite the same way I would believe just by reading various things.

crockholm

The Corinthian wrote: »

Yup. Happens elsewhere and you'll get threads on PI on a regular basis reflecting this, but it appears pretty endemic in Switzerland. You hear about it all the time.

I agree, pretty grim.

Pretty similar in the Netherlands too,a lot of people,when they focus on the Dutch sex industry concentrate on Amsterdams RLD,or the smaller RLD's in the other cities.Those,for the large part are for foreign Tourists.

Dutch men (sometimes Couples,and sometimes women) tend to go to the "Health Spa" in the middle of the countryside for their bit of rutting.

floggg

crockholm wrote: »

Pretty similar in the Netherlands too,a lot of people,when they focus on the Dutch sex industry concentrate on Amsterdams RLD,or the smaller RLD's in the other cities.Those,for the large part are for foreign Tourists.

Dutch men (sometimes Couples,and sometimes women) tend to go to the "Health Spa" in the middle of the countryside for their bit of rutting.

As opposed to here where people were usually trapped in sex less marriages with no outlet except drink?

Honestly, I'd see the availability of prostitution services as a good thing in those circumstances if anything. At least they have some reasonable safe outlet.

The Corinthian

floggg wrote: »

Honestly, if I thought my partner was just going through the motions and pretending to be into it and into me, I just wouldn't see the point.

I'm reminded of an old joke: documentation is like sex; when it's good, it's good and when it's bad, it's better than nothing.

Also, anybody who says it's cheaper than a relationship has a pretty ****ed up view of relationships, and may also be the type to let themselves be walked all over when in one.

Please blame family law and societal prejudices, not the victims of that system please.

If your relationship is costing you significantly, then its only your self to blame - it's likely some combination of choosing the wrong type of person to be with, lacking enough self respect to ensure equality in the relationship, or wanting to cling to stereotyped and out dated gender/relationship roles even though it's to your own detriment.

You must let us know the secret of knowing how to pick someone who'll still be the 'right person' in ten or twenty years time. Write a book on it, you'll make a fortune.

crockholm

floggg wrote: »

As opposed to here where people were usually trapped in sex less marriages with no outlet except drink?

Honestly, I'd see the availability of prostitution services as a good thing in those circumstances if anything. At least they have some reasonable safe outlet.

Indeed.I would be a lot more open to a more "Continental" approach to things.
And it matters not wheter it be a disabled man,an ugly man,a sex deprived man or some fellah who just doesn't want to go through the whole rigmarole with Girls Before sex.

I wouldn't Project my personal mores (if I had any) on that fellah no more than I would judge a girl for buying a dildo.

ALiasEX

Is it easy to have a ons without being intoxicated? (not a rhetorical question)

The Corinthian

ALiasEX wrote: »

Is it easy to have a ons without being intoxicated? (not a rhetorical question)

What do you mean by easy? If you mean is it easy to have meaningless sex with someone stone cold sober and then never see them again out of choice or circumstances, then sure.

If you mean is it easy to have meaningless sex with someone drunk and then never see them again because you're too ashamed of what you did, then congratulations; you're Irish!

UCDVet

In theory - I'm 100% pro hookers. It's a service, they sell it. Nothing wrong with it, no different than hiring a masseuse to rub your back. Consenting adults should be free to decide what they do with their money and who they have sex with. And, truth be told, there are a lot of 'non-hookers' who *WILL* sleep with someone in exchange for money; just without labelling it as such. I dated a girl for a while that was like that...I'd buy her stuff, and we'd sleep together. No, no, we never discussed the price or anything, it's just if I wasn't buying her something, she wasn't happy. And when I did show up with flowers, well, she was happy. And if I got her jewelry, I was sure to be getting something in return.

I also think it's crazy to think that one person is going to fulfill all of your sexual desires. I love my wife for a lot of reasons, and sex isn't the most important one, not by a long shot. Plus, preferences change, and so do appearances.

So yeah, in theory, I think it's great. And people who hire them, well, good for them. You'd have more sex (and not just the typical, we got drunk and had sex in the dark sex - but better more interesting sex) with far more people, who are far more attractive, by hiring hookers than by dating - and you'd spend less doing it.

But in practice - I'd never do it. I guess I'm a bit of a hypocrite.

nokia69

I know a lad who was in his late 30s when his wife told him she had no more interest in sex, this was just after she had her third child so he thought fair enough she just had a baby and is not interested, give it time and she will get interested again

so he makes the moves again a few months later and its the same story no more sex, ever

this went on for close to two years and in the end he really wanted a shag so he started seeing escorts every few weeks, he is still married and he says he loves his wife, but he needs sex

imagine being told in your 30s that you won't be having sex again

I think its disgusting what the likes of Ivana Bacik want to do to men like this

LoonyLovegood

What does Ivana Bacik have to do with it though?

If it's what he wants, and if the sex worker hasn't been forced into it, then why not? It's two consenting adults doing what they want, no harm in it like.

nc19

Littlekittylou wrote:

That would not be hard.

if it's not hard he's wasting her time and his money

nokia69

LoonyLovegood wrote: »

What does Ivana Bacik have to do with it though?

If it's what he wants, and if the sex worker hasn't been forced into it, then why not? It's two consenting adults doing what they want, no harm in it like.

Bacik and her allies the nuns are the driving force behind changes in the law that would see men who pay for sex as criminals

if two people are having consensual sex its madness to think of one of them as a criminal just because he paid in cash

but thats modern feminism, so much for equality

Roquentin

Icaras wrote: »

Once a week! It's not a case of if, but when he catches something nasty, but that's his business.

My opinion is It will mess up his concept of what a real relationship is about and if it's common knowledge I can't see many girls wanting to date him.

As a male I'd prefer my girlfriend to have had casual sex with 100 people than see one prostitute 100 times.

definitely wont catch something from an escort. very clean.

on the subject, a real relationship is just another form of prostitution.

we are all prostitutes and murderers

daveyeh

Roquentin wrote: »

definitely wont catch something from an escort. very clean.

on the subject, a real relationship is just another form of prostitution.

we are all prostitutes and murders

murders?

OU812

When Charlie Sheen was being sentenced for using a prostitute, the judge asked him why a man like him would pay for sex, Sheen replied: "I don't pay them for sex. I pay them to leave".

Each to their own. I wouldn't agree with someone going behind their spouse's back to them, there's deeper issues there apart from wanting a shag, but someone who was single or lacked confidence or perhaps was "less desirable" due to physical incapacities.

I think it's in holland where the disabled can get a grant payment to cover sex with a professional sex worker (as opposed to a non tax paying one) twelve times a year. That's incredibly progressive & caring.

I also know someone from school who's never had a girlfriend & goes once a week to a selection of girls. He's not the most attractive guy around & has severe embarrassment issues that make him last confidence & clam up around women. (He can also be a little bit creepy).

Lot of hooker talk around here lately...

ALiasEX

The Corinthian wrote: »

What do you mean by easy? If you mean is it easy to have meaningless sex with someone stone cold sober and then never see them again out of choice or circumstances, then sure.

If you mean is it easy to have meaningless sex with someone drunk and then never see them again because you're too ashamed of what you did, then congratulations; you're Irish!

I mean is it hard to "pull" someone for a ons unless you are intoxicated in a night club/bar? (in Ireland)

eviltwin

OU812 wrote: »

When Charlie Sheen was being sentenced for using a prostitute, the judge asked him why a man like him would pay for sex, Sheen replied: "I don't pay them for sex. I pay them to leave".

Each to their own. I wouldn't agree with someone going behind their spouse's back to them, there's deeper issues there apart from wanting a shag, but someone who was single or lacked confidence or perhaps was "less desirable" due to physical incapacities.

I think it's in holland where the disabled can get a grant payment to cover sex with a professional sex worker (as opposed to a non tax paying one) twelve times a year. That's incredibly progressive & caring.

I also know someone from school who's never had a girlfriend & goes once a week to a selection of girls. He's not the most attractive guy around & has severe embarrassment issues that make him last confidence & clam up around women. (He can also be a little bit creepy).

Great short term solution but long term? You'd wonder would they be better off spending their money on courses in personal development to deal with their lack of confidence or whatever. I don't think its good for your psyche to spend your life having sex with prostitutes, its great if you are out of a relationship and don't need the hassle but I think for most people there comes a time when you want someone to care about you and not just fcuk you for money.