nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

Visitors want us to remove the cat and dog while they are staying with us

Karen91

The sister of my OH is visiting us from abroad in 2 months with her husband and baby they will be staying for a week with us. My OH told me that she has requested that we remove the animals while they stay with us for the safety of her baby.

The cat and dog are both house pets the cat is never allowed out unless on a lead because we live near a busy road and the dog only goes out to relieve herself and comes straight back in. So basically we would have to board them for the week while they are here, my parents might be able to take the dog but the cat would have to be boarded for sure as mother is not a fan of cats.

I am rather insulted about it and I am tempted to tell her find alternative accomodation, would it be unreasonable of me to do so?

Some opinions on the matter would be greatly appreciated!

Find more posts tagged with

Quick Links

Comments

username000

Karen91 wrote: »

I am bracing myself for the back lash from the MIL this the first grandchild so I am sure she will be on to voice her opinion on the matter! All I can say is why me!! :mad:

Why cant she stay in the MILs?

Bandana boy

Some People get over precious when a child arrives ,over time they become more reasonable but you can burn a relationship during this time if not carefull.
It is though your OH's relationship with his family that is at stake ,so I would do what ever he needs to do.
I know if my Brother asked me to park my Dog before visiting I would tell him to go jump in a lake but if my OH's family had a problem I would take her lead. you only have one family and a row over Pets would be such a waste.

Bigus

username000 wrote: »

Why cant she stay in the MILs?

Maybe she's a COW or a god forbid a Bitch:D

IlmoNT4

Putting your pets into a cattery is going to be distressing for them...they'll be out of their loving environment and into a strange place, they dont understand whats happening, they dont understand that you'll be back for them in a week. Imagine if someone took you away from your home and locked you up for a week ...

For me, my pets are part of my family and I wouldnt do that to a human...

If I had your guest coming, I'd tell them that I wasnt prepared to put my pets under that much stress unnecessarily and that it would be best for them to stay in a hotel however if they change their minds, their welcome in my home.

My kitties have never gone into the cattery because I can see how frightened they are just going to the vets. I always have someone come and mind them in my home and even when I come home, I know they've missed me and they have fretted.

Arbiter of Good Taste

I can never understand people who are afraid to "insult" their siblings. If my brother came up with some ridiculous request like this I would tell him to fvck off and laugh in his face. We certainly would not fall out over this.

OP, I think your OH needs to stand up to his sister and politely tell her the animals are not being sent to a kennel. End of.

DBB

Bigus wrote: »

Maybe she's a COW or a god forbid a Bitch:D

As per my post above... Give the name-calling a rest.
Thanks,
DBB

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Yeah, I wouldn't be too inclined to indulge her neurotic behaviour in your own home. If she doesn't want to leave Germany that's her own decision.

Purple Mountain

Cheeky mare.
OH should stand up to her as she is his sister.
Failing that..tell her the filthy animals have a really bad dose of thread worms at minute and house is cordoned off to visitors.

kylith

If it were a case that she was concerned that the animals would be upset by the baby I would consider it, but calling the animals filthy and saying the child will catch something from them is ridiculous. You should tell her that you're glad she won't be saying because now you can be sure that you won't catch something from her disease-ridden child.

mada82

Keep your cats outside -no.
Keep your filthy animals outside - book yourself a hotel.

I don't understand why some people are suggesting to go along with this or to even compromise.

She has made an unreasonable demand. Tell her no. Plain and simple.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Neyite wrote: »

Thinking more on this, the germaphobe behaviour and OTT reaction, if its out of character, might be a red flag for the likes of post-natal depression or the like. Obviously the OP would have to be very delicate in bringing it up - if at all - but even if its not, post partum hormones can be a bit loopy at times.

This is the first thing that sprang to mind after reading the SILs reaction to the OPs husband. Seems like too much of an irrational overreaction, I wouldn't be surprised if there was more going on under the surface.

mada82

Just finished reading the full thread. Her reaction is mad. How on earth can she not see she's being completely unreasonable.

Don't back down under any circumstances.

StormWarrior

Karen91 wrote: »

They have stayed with us before but that was before they had a child and there was no problem but now she claims he could contract something from our filthy animals as she put it!

I am really considering telling them find a hotel but my OH is trying to avoid insulting them.

Why are you bothered about insulting them after she has insulted you? Tell her that you've thought about it and on reflection you think they should find a hotel as you don't want your pets catching anything from their filthy baby.

Bigus

DBB wrote: »

As per my post above... Give the name-calling a rest.
Thanks,
DBB

Sorry was meant to be a light hearted pun / joke / humour ( SIL can't stay with animals )

Pumpkinseeds

Karen91 wrote: »

I am bracing myself for the back lash from the MIL this the first grandchild so I am sure she will be on to voice her opinion on the matter! All I can say is why me!! :mad:

Look at it this way, it was going to be a disatrous visit if she stayed with you. Either you'd have given in and put your pets outdoors leaving you furious and upset or she'd have been a nightmare if the pets were indoors and she'd have spent the week complaining. There's a damn good reason why she doesn't want to stay with the MIL, take that from someone who has refused to speak to her MIL for the past 5 years.;)

borderlinemeath

Isn't it the OPs MIL, so actually the sisters/OHs Mother?

Jawgap

I'm guessing first time parents?

By the time they come to stay with child no.2 they'll be happy to let them play in the litter tray

Karen91

Its awful when you think your doing good for someone and they turn around and try and take advantage. She will have to lock the child indoors all the time if this is her line of thinking, dogs are allowed in a lot of places in Germany they are very dog friendly.

If she had come and the animals were in the house it would be a nightmare I am sure.

borderlinemeath wrote: »

Isn't it the OPs MIL, so actually the sisters/OHs Mother?

Yes its my MIL she does'nt stay with her parents because my FIL and her husband get under each others skin there has been a bit of friction since he took a job in Germany, they were'nt very happy about her moving away

Jawgap

Being honest, OP, I think you have to assert yourself. It's your house and your rules, and perhaps explain that you'd love to have them stay, it's your home and you live with animals as part of your household / family.

My guess would be that the removal of the pets would be the first in a long, nightmarish list of requirements that will turn what could be a brilliant week into a drawn out ordeal.

Good luck.

aunt aggie

Karen91 wrote: »

Its awful when you think your doing good for someone and they turn around and try and take advantage. She will have to lock the child indoors all the time if this is her line of thinking, dogs are allowed in a lot of places in Germany they are very dog friendly.

I've seen family members taken advantage of by visiting relatives. Honestly if you let people stay in your house once (even without the ridiculous demands) they will expect it every time they come to visit. Has lead to a lot of tension in my father's family. And his sister in law had to put her foot down one year and tell the lot of them to F off. They expected free room and board and someone to drive them around while they were home. No compensation and barely a thank you.

I know you're only saying no because they want you to change your home to suit them but I wouldn't back down for fear they'd expect the same every time they're home.

Whispered

Op your sil is being very unreasonable. I'm glad your partner has stood up to her.

Try not be too annoyed. How old is the baby? I have a seven week old baby here (and two dogs and a cat - shock horror) and really the lack of sleep can do funny things to you. I was all set to kick my husband out because he had a 30 min lie on after the baby keeping me awake.

Obviously a total sleep deprived overreaction. She might be sitting at home now feeling somewhat silly over the conversation.

If I were you I'd be annoyed but if you can avoid thinking too bad of your sil your relationship might not suffer long term.

Dubl07

Karen91 wrote: »

Yes its my MIL she does'nt stay with her parents because my FIL and her husband get under each others skin there has been a bit of friction since he took a job in Germany, they were'nt very happy about her moving away

Can't your MIL rehome your FIL for the week?

grey_so_what

doubleglaze wrote: »

I would contact her myself - not through your husband - and keep it short, courteous and simple:

Hi Ann, I understand your concerns, but unfortunately sending the dog and the cat elsewhere is not an option/ is proving impractical.

I won't be offended if, in the circumstances, you choose to stay in a local B&B or hotel. I'd be sorry if you do, but understand if you are not comfortable having your baby around our animals.

Love, Karen.

Lovely letter of intention dg....courteous and understanding but not in any way offensive....:)

NSAman

Karen91 wrote: »

My OH contacted me telling me that he was in touch with his sister, it did not go over well at all. Her reply was her child was not going breathing the same air as any disease carrying animal! She gave him a huge lecture on the cheek of him to put two disgusting animals before his nephew bla bla bla so apparently they are going cancelling the whole trip because she got totally hysterical about the whole thing. No reasoning at all. She seems to think she has more right to our house than the animals. She will not stay in a hotel to accomodate an animal so they are not coming at all.

She refused to pay for the boarding costs because its not her problem we have pets.

All I can say is I am shocked and so is my OH but he said if she wants it that way let her off she, she will get over it on time.

Meh, don't be worrying Karen. Your OH did the right thing. It is after all your home and you should never have to accommodate anyones ridiculous demands in your own home. She is obviously over protective of little Tarquin and perhaps has postpartum depression.

I am sure she will come to her sense at some stage. I am also sure her other half must see what is going on, if not, then you are better to have your house to yourself and let them stew in their own ridiculousness.

I have two dogs and I am sorry to say, they would never be put out to accommodate anyone. Unfortunately, we lost our "little" guy all 18 stone of him recently and people were terrified when they saw him, but he was the most gentle and loving dog despite his size. After five minutes of his head on your lap people just melted and loved him too.

Enjoy the dog and the cat and be glad that the drama has subsided, and that the four of you have the place to yourselves.

strandroad

Dubl07 wrote: »

Can't your MIL rehome your FIL for the week?

OP if your MIL opens her mouth about it, you have your answer right there!

mazi

Karen91 wrote: »

The sister of my OH is visiting us from abroad in 2 months with her husband and baby they will be staying for a week with us. My OH told me that she has requested that we remove the animals while they stay with us for the safety of her baby.

The cat and dog are both house pets the cat is never allowed out unless on a lead because we live near a busy road and the dog only goes out to relieve herself and comes straight back in. So basically we would have to board them for the week while they are here, my parents might be able to take the dog but the cat would have to be boarded for sure as mother is not a fan of cats.

I am rather insulted about it and I am tempted to tell her find alternative accomodation, would it be unreasonable of me to do so?

Some opinions on the matter would be greatly appreciated!

Im sorry...... but I laughed at title when I read only the start.....For someone that thinks you have to accomodate them for a week + by absconding your furry family friends is hidious and hilarious.......I would tel them to go f@€k themelves!

Bon Voyage

munster87

I've never seen a cat on a lead.

[Deleted User]

I sped read through this thread and agree with the other posters, what an absolute cheek. Plus as someone mentioned, the animals being rehoused somewhere would be the thin edge of the wedge. She sounds like the sort of person who will be a right pain about the baby and you wouldn't be able to look crooked in your own house in case it was upsetting the kid in some way.

Parents like her really need to get over themselves and realise the world does not revolve around their mewling rat.

Stick to your guns, tell your MIL to take a running jump if she has anything to say and let the rude so and so and her delicate rugrat stay in a hotel or B&B.

DBB

munster87 wrote: »

I've never seen a cat on a lead.

Lol, it seems to be very common in some parts of Europe. I spent some time years ago in Finland and was amazed on my first day there when I spotted an owner out walking their cat on a lead! I thought I was seeing things

By the time I left, I was so used to seeing them, I barely paid them any heed!

grey_so_what

munster87 wrote: »

I've never seen a cat on a lead.

Hahaha....my vet told me our Persian was so laid back she would be able for a lead.....we put her on it for a trial in the house and it was so funny - she went like a flat kitty instantaneously - squished four legs akimbo......we pulled her for about six foot on a wooden floor and fell around the place laughing at her reaction......no way was it for her!........:D She was not having the idea of walking on a lead - not a chance in the real world outside.....The Princess was not going to be that "walkie" kitty but you should have seen her just lie flat out!.....:D She was, byw, happy to be pulled gently along the warm floor.....:)